Her final gift
by bebe2580
Summary: No longer a one-shot. Bit of spoilers for 6x09, but AU from there, so be warned. Angsty to a fault. Completely suck at summaries, so better read. Hope it's worth your time... Rating might change in the future  for... "freedom" purposes"  reposted and improved!
1. Chapter 1

**Important Author's note (July 2012)**

Hello, everyone! First of all, I want to thank you for encouraging me to never give up on my writing.

As I told you at the beginning of many chapters, the reason for the big gaps in my posting have been due to my failing health. I want you all to know, both new and old readers, that I am very devoted and loyal to my stories. It's not in my nature not to finish a story, because I believe the readers deserve closure and respect, but things have been lately taken out of my hands

Sadly, the health problem I've been suffering has gotten worse, and due to that, my writing and posting have subsequently suffered as the pain has been definitely impairing my body AND mind.

I decided to reread and adjust some chappies, particularly those where Brennan is in her dream, as some reviewers let me know it was somewhat confusing, so I made the necessary clarifications. However, I didn't change the plot line at all, just fixed the faux passes and the grammar where it was needed, adjusted the union between paragraphs, and overall, improved it.

Therefore, I have decided to repost it so the new readers can make sense of this story, and the old can reread making sense of things that weren't so clear before.

I apologize yet again, and I promise to you to continue working towards this story. Your patience will certainly be rewarded.

You all deserve a big, big THANK You for taking the time to review, and to cheer me on. Your words have meant the world, and amidst my pain, they have been the fuel I needed not to give up on something so meaningful to me.

I have to say musie is quite thankful for any word you leave her, and for all those who have put this story on their alerts and favorites. You are all a dream!

I will be erasing part of the clarifications I made, except those which are important to my storyline or to make clear how I see the characters, or my opinion on something happening on the show.

FOR THE NEW READERS: this follows 6x09, The doctor in the photo, but it departs from there, so you will be spoiled up until that point. However, there were big developments in season 6 that I will definitely include here, but not in canon, but I'll let you be surprised when the time comes.

Some subjects will be dealt with, but according to the departing storyline I've set.

I hope you all like and please, musie will definitely appreciate anything you want to say to her, of course, in the spirit of improving writing and storyline. I DO listen to suggestions and to corrections (in fact, I already included some things that were pointed out to me).


	2. Chapter 1 Setting the scene

Days passed slowly. She knew people were wary of her now, particularly her friends, treating her like they were walking around eggshells, after her erratic behavior of the past days, a behavior brought on by the Lauren Eames' case. She even noticed a new sorrow in Angela's eyes whenever she looked at her, like somehow her intuitive friend knew what had happened between her and Booth. She didn't even mind that those closest to her knew of her intimate pain, so exhausted and wary she felt.

What she had told Micah was true. She had felt something, but all that remained was unbearable sadness, a sadness that followed her even in sleep, a sadness that had put an end to any hope she might feel.

She hadn't need him to tell her that things were over between them, but as he had done that night in the Hoover and gambled for her, laying it all on the line, she had needed him to know she regretted saying no, with all of her heart. That is why she hadn't hidden her tears from him, her pain. She hoped he had read that it was not only regret, but that she had finally understood what love was all about: doing what was best for the other, even if it meant you were putting your pain and your own happiness on the line. She could only hope Hannah truly was what he wanted and expected her to be, and gave him everything she could no longer give him, what _she wasn´t allowed _to give him anymore.

She rubbed the middle of her breasts, and closed her eyes, willing her sternum to stop feeling so tight, but nothing she did had worked. She didn't even eat anymore, just a granola bar and energy drinks here and there to keep her functioning. She was glad she had never used her lab coat so tightly around her body, because she knew people would notice she was practically fading before their eyes. She was thankful for the coverage makeup provided, which hid the dark circles that formed under her eyes. She felt old, like she had aged 80 years overnight.

She couldn't stop remembering Booth's eyes as he literally crushed her heart with his words. Served her right for turning him down when she had the chance to grasp her future tightly in her hands. Rebecca's words of so many years ago came rushing back to her mind; she had proven that there was definitely a moment for every couple, where they could catch fire, but she had been too terrified of being burned by the intensity of her feelings for him. How she wished she could change everything back, but not even in her most selfish consideration could she deny that Hannah was worthy of him, and she wouldn't again crush his heart with her selfishness, like she had. She would deal with her punishment, day by day, until the pain stopped or she was gone, whatever came first.

She was typing on her laptop, writing down her latest finds from a limbo case. No cases since Lauren Eames. She was torn between feeling relieved Booth hadn't had a reason to pop by the lab, and also feeling destroyed because somehow she knew her chance to take her words back was an impossible, and how she wished she could, remembering how she had seen something akin to pain flash in his eyes, but it couldn't be. There was no reason why he had to feel pain because of her, when he had made it so clear Hannah was his entire world now, and when he had given her more than enough chances to amend her decision not to give them an opportunity to become more.

She paused for a moment, and rubbed her temples. She felt the beginning of a pounding headache coming in, something very common these days, she guessed due to the lack of real sustenance and rest. For once, she was glad that Angela had been so wrapped up in her new baby and building her life with Hodgins, she hadn't had the time to try and assume Booth's role in her life, because otherwise, she would have been dragged for meals and snacks, knowing how she immersed herself in her work, sometimes to the point of forgetting to survive.

She opened one of her cabinets, and took out a bottle, popping two pills in her hand and swallowing them with the bottle of water she always kept by her side now. No use in dying from dehydration. She leaned back, giving herself 5 minutes before she could restart her work. She refused to get sick and be deprived of the only thing she had left: her work. It had become her safe haven, her apartment was only for baths and changing clothes; whenever she was inside of it too long, she felt the weight of its walls crash down on her, assaulting her with memories of a past that could very well have been her present, but now a mockery of the future that would no longer be.

She had her eyes closed when she heard rapid footsteps, accompanied by a frantic, "Dr. Bones! Dr. Bones!", only one person could call her that, and she opened her eyes to be greeted by the sight of one Parker Booth entering her office at full speed.

She gave him the best smile she could muster, hoping the inquisitive 8-year old didn't notice how truly broken she was feeling, and she cheerily greeted him, "Hey Parker! What are you doing here?"

He beamed at her, and stood right before her, opening his arms in that way she had learned meant he wanted a hug, which she complied with happily. It seemed this little angel was the only person who continued to think of her, no matter what. She buried her face in his curls, and though irrational, she inhaled the scent that for her always meant innocence and complete love. Her heart clenched with a pang of longing, remembering what it was like to be that young, that carefree and untainted.

When they broke the hug, he replied, "I was in science club with Grandpa Max, but we're done now, and I wanted to visit you!", she smiled at him tenderly, brushing a curl that had fallen into his face, and said, "Well, I'm glad you did, you know I always love when you visit", she said, and then it struck her what he had called her dad.

She braced herself, and tried to word her question as best as she could, "Parker, it doesn't upset me, at all, in fact I thinks it´s endearing, but… when did you start calling my dad `Grandpa Max´?", she saw the flicker of disappointment in those brown eyes, before he shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know, I guess… A few months ago. When Dad and you were gone, he always treated me for ice-cream and sundaes, told me funny stories and taught me lots of things", she nodded encouragingly, seeing the trepidation in his eyes, "I realized that is exactly what my real grandpa, Grandpa John, my mom's daddy, does with me, so I started calling him that, and he told me he had always wanted a grandson, so it was a win-win?", he said hesitantly, "I wasn't supposed to tell. It's our secret", he dropped his eyes to the floor.

She tilted his chin with her hand, and made him stare into her eyes, unable to see him sadm "Parker, I'm not mad at you. As you said, it is something between you and my dad, but.. Ask your Dad first if he thinks it's ok… He might not like that, though I appreciate you care about Dad so much", she said, trying to make the youngster see some boundaries had to be set now that his father was with Hannah.

"Why shouldn't we? You're my family too", the heartfelt proclamation broke her heart, and made her eyes get moist at the sincerity behind his statement, and replied, "I know, Parker, I also see you as mi family, but your Dad is with Hannah now, and he might not be comfortable you calling my father that", Parker seemed to be pondering her words, and turned misty eyes on her.

"So now that my Dad has a new girlfriend, does that mean you don't want to be my friend anymore? The last we were all together everything was ok", she couldn't help but cradle him to her chest, and kissed his wild curls several times before she was able to swallow the lump that was lodged on her throat.

"No, Parker! Don't ever think that, ok? Of course I love being your friend, and your visits, but… maybe your Dad doesn't want me to be so close to you", he frowned, "He might think I'm taking the time you should spend with Hannah, and getting to know her", she explained rationally.

A fire came to his hazel eyes, "it doesn't matter to me, Dr. Bones. You were here first, and I don't care about her. You were my friend before I met her, and I won't leave you because of her. It's like… when I got a shiny new truck for Christmas, it was filled with all of these cool gadgets?", she nodded tenderly at him as she stroked his hair, "My mom told me I had to throw the old one away, because she figured now I wouldn't play with it anymore, but when I was about to do it, it felt like I was leaving him behind. He was with me ever since I was a baby, and I couldn't desert him like that. He had been my friend, so it was my duty to protect him. My mom said it was silly, because toys don't have feelings, but then I asked her to take the new one back to the store", her throat closed again. How could an 8-year old see so clearly what his father had so blatantly missed? How she had wished those words had come from the senior Booth.

"Thank you, Parker. It's nice to know I still have a place in your heart", she said sadly, but touched beyond belief by his tender words, and Parker brought his little hands to her face, and shook his head, "Don't be sad, Bones. I will protect you, forever", she hugged him for dear life, and he wrapped his tiny arms around her neck, inhaling in her hair very much like she had done earlier.

A voice startled them both, "I hope I'm not interrupting something I wasn't supposed to see", they turned to see Hannah perched on her doorstep. Her comment had come out to tease them, and she had a bright smile playing on her full lips.

"Of course not, Hannah. How are you?", Temperance said politely, receiving a gentle smile from Hannah. Luckily, the journalist wasn't jealous of her relationship with the younger Booth. And why should she, when Booth had so firmly reaffirmed her place in his life to everyone?, Temperance thought, relieved that the closeness between them didn't bother the woman that for all purposes, was now the center of Booth's life.

"I'm fine, thanks Temperance", she turned to Parker, "Your father sends his apologies, but he couldn't make it in time to pick you up, so guess what?", Brennan could see Parker trying to be cordial and even amicable, but she knew he felt like Hannah had stolen his father from him, and she couldn't blame him, since she felt exactly the same, "I get to take you home, but before, what do you say we go to that ice-cream parlor you love so much and we get you that sundae you were telling your father about last weekend? He promised he would meet us there", Hannah gave the boy a beaming smile, meant to encourage him, but instead he turned to Brennan, and used his best puppy dog eyes, he pleaded.

"Can't you come with us? Pretty please?", normally that smile and those eyes would have melted her every resolve, but she couldn't face Booth and Hannah together without surely breaking down in tears, so she shook her head, and brushed his cheek tenderly, plastering a smile on her face she prayed didn't look as fake as it felt,

"I would love to, but I have a gazillion files to put in order", his little face fell, "I'm sorry, Parker, but just like your Dad, I have many things to do that I can't postpone. Next time, ok?", his face brightened just a bit, and she added, "I'm certain you will have tons of fun with Hannah, and then with your Dad", she hoped she had convinced the little boy.

He chewed on his lower lip in thought, "But I don't want to leave you alone", he said pitifully, and it tugged at her heart. If he only knew… She shook her head, and did her best to hide her sadness, and lied the best way she knew how, "But I'm not alone. I have Angela and Jack, and Dr. Saroyan here with me. And you know we have fun working on our skeletons, right?", he smiled a bit, and nodded. She released a relieved sigh, and received the hug he gave her.

"Be good to Hannah, ok?", he nodded, and gave her a sloppy kiss on her cheek before bouncing to take Hannah's hand, appeased and seemingly happy now that she had convinced it was ok for him to go. She was truly touched. She had seen that they had indeed bonded, and that his initial reluctance to accept her had disappeared, but that his loyalty prevented him from letting Hannah all the way in if he thought that was going to hurt her. Such wisdom from a little boy was healing in itself, as she recalled what Sweets had told her, that she had people who cared about her, who she mattered to.

She stood from her chair, and waved at him as he tilted his head to continue smiling at her. But she didn't know why, providence perhaps, she looked to the top of the railing, and when she saw a very familiar figure, her blood ran cold.

Cam was in her office, and Angela had already gone home, since it was almost 6p.m, the interns were in Limbo, and the platform was practically deserted.

She swallowed hard, her heart about to thump out of her chest, _"Oh God, how did she get in here?", _she begged for her not to have noticed the pair walking towards the door, but the evil glint in the woman's eyes told her that indeed, she had not only seen Hannah and Parker, but that she also knew who the little boy was.

"Dr. Brennan, I suggest you tell your friend to stop right where they are", she swallowed hard, but knew that if she didn't comply, the gun she was holding would be aimed at them, and no doubt she was willing to shoot, and definitely it would be to kill.

"Hannah, Parker, please stop where you are", she said, making them stop in their tracks, their faces filled with confusion as she did everything to keep her voice steady.

"What's wrong, Dr. Bones?", said Parker, his forehead scrunched in obvious confusion, but the tap of the heel of the woman's stilettos resounded through the vacant platform, making her wince, and everyone's eyes to turn to the woman.

"It's just… It's ok, Parker, you'll be ok", she said, seeing the woman take each step agonizingly slow, as if to taunt her with the way she was walking, to make her fear grow.

"Dr. Brennan, what a pleasure to see you!", the woman said, an evil smile on her lips, "I came here to greet you, and to tell you I always fulfill my promises. I told you this wasn't over, and here I am!", she said gleefully, making Brennan cringe.

She saw Hannah's confusion, but she could only shake her head to tell her to stay right here she was, and not release Parker.

"My, my, my, two for the price of one", the woman taunted, "What a treat. I didn't know my lucky stars were shining down on me, but it seems they are, though I should have assumed if word of my little visit hasn't still reached the FBI, or should I say, your FBI agent?"

"Booth is not mine", she replied automatically, making the woman laugh manically, "Dr. Brennan", she said, like she was speaking to a child, "He might have found that little…", she eyes Hannah from toe to head, rising an eyebrow, "Tramp, but I'm sure you continue to be first on his list, well, second after his little brat", Brennan swallowed.

"That's… not true. I… Booth doesn't care about me. He's… just my partner. Look, let them go, they have no fault at this, and I'll let you do whatever you want to me, but… please, let them go", Brennan pleaded, seeing the evil glint in the woman's eyes.

"Dr. Brennan, still so… forthcoming and valiant", her smile turned into a sneer, "I wonder what could hurt Agent Booth more?", she said, waving her gun in the air from Parker, who seemed to be frozen into place, the same as Hannah, whose face had paled with dread, "His son?", she aimed the gun at him, making him whimper and squeeze Hannah's hand tighter, "Or the partner he has loved for 7 years? Hmmmh… Difficult choice", she seemed to be pondering, aiming her gun at Parker and Hannah, then at her.

"We both know it's better if you… eliminate me. I'm the only person in the face of the Earth who can put you behind bars, and we both know it… If I'm gone, you can go free. But if you let me live… You know I will find you, and I will make sure you go back to jail, where you deserve", she was deliberately angering her so she aimed the gun at her.

She laughed for a few seconds, but afterwards, aimed at her, making her release a relieved sigh at having her attention focused on her and not on Parker, "You're right, only you are able to put me behind bars, but you know what?", she giggled manically, "This is not about me going back to jail, this is about pain, Dr. Brennan!", she screamed.

From there, everything seemed to be happening at small motion. Brennan only saw the woman shift her aim from her to Parker, not even minding Hannah by his side. Luckily, even if they were on opposite sides, they were still reasonably close, and for the first time in years, she prayed to God, to Booth's God, to make her limbs work as she ran like there was no tomorrow, screaming from the top of her lungs, "Parker! DUCK!", she heard the pop of the bullet being released, and in her mind, there was a chant, "_protect him, protect him, save him, save him! You can't fail", _she heard the hiss of the bullet and in a fraction of a second, she placed her back between the bullet's pathway and Parker's body, shielding him from harm, but unable to prevent her weight from falling on top of him as when she bent her body, she felt a sting on her neck, followed by something warm coating her skin.

Almost 2 seconds later, there was a second pop, and she felt the thud of a body, and her heart stopped, "_My God, did she kill Hannah?", _she said, and she raised her head a bit from her bent position, still shielding Parker's tiny body, which was shaking beneath her, and saw that Hannah was by one of the railings, her head on her knees, shielding her body, but seemingly ok.

She breathed a sigh of relief, and lowered her eyes, feeling the trembling bundle nestled under her frame, "Parker", she asked frantically, "Are you ok, bud?", the boy whimpered, but nodded, and his tiny arms went to grab her shirt.

Just then, she felt her head start to spin, and as the adrenaline quickly started to wear off, she realized that someone else had taken the second shot, but whom? She raised her eyes, and just as an avenging warrior, there was Booth, with his gun aimed towards the platform.

_He's here. Parker and Hannah are ok. _She breathed, and then felt the sting of something warm and sticky, a mind-numbing pain in her neck, and feeling her eyes start to lose focus, she quickly stood from Parker, straightened her body, and sat on her haunches.

She brought her hand to her neck, and felt it coat with something. She raised her hand to her eyes, and saw it drenched in blood, _her blood. _She could see Parker's terrified gaze as he stared at her, and she felt the world spinning, making her fall back.

"Dr. Bones!", Parker screamed as he saw her fall, terrified as he saw the steady trickle of blood coming from her neck, and her face paling to an unnatural color, lounging himself at her, crying hysterically.

He felt strong arms pull him back and he screamed, "NO! NO"", but when he turned to hit at whoever was tearing him away from his Bones, he met the pained brown eyes of his father, and his cries became harder and more frantic, throwing himself in his father's arms.

"DADDY!", he wailed, "Dr. Bones!", Booth nodded, and stared into his son's eyes after he quickly checked he was unharmed, "Go with Hannah, bud, now!", Parker saw the order and understood that it was now up to the grownups to solve things, and he would get in the way.

Hannah was still hiding, and he touched her knee, his eyes filled with tears as he said, "It's ok, Hannah. Bones saved us", Hannah raised her eyes to see past the boy, seeing her boyfriend leaning over the scientist's body.

Booth's face was drenched with tears as he kneeled before her, and he instantly took his jacket from his shoulders, and pressed where he could still see, despite the rapid flow of her blood, over her wound.

She winced, and opened her eyes, surprised to see his face, instead of Parker's. She had lost consciousness for a second, but feeling someone pressing painfully hard on her wound made her go back to the world.

His heart was pounding painfully as he saw the pool of blood forming beneath her, growing by the second, but when he heard her groan and saw her eyes fluttering, he encouraged her, "Come on, Bones. Open your beautiful eyes, please?", he pleaded, trying to keep his sobs in.

She did her best, only because it was _still him, _and with great effort, feeling like someone had attached weights to her eyelids, she opened her eyes to be met with his face, his brown eyes filled with pain, his face wet with tears, she tried to croak out, "Park…er?", he nodded, "He's ok, Bones. Not a scratch on him, you… you saved him".

"Han…?", she tried to ask, and he again nodded, "She…went to the other side, she's ok", his heart tug painfully at the realization that she could be meeting their maker in a few moments, and her only concern was his son, and the woman she knew he loved. What a fool he had been.

"Is she…?", she couldn't turn her head in the other direction to confirm what she knew: that Booth had finally put an end to the nightmare that had been Heather Taffet.

"She's gone. For good", she then gave him an angelic smile, and his body went still, because he saw something like a goodbye in her blue depths. He had seen enough friends in arms with that same light in their eyes, like their soul knew they needed to get the important things out before they ran out of time.

"Then…", she rasped out, "Everything's… ok", she coughed, and he yelled frantically, "Where is the help?", then he turned to her, and pleadingly said, "Don't speak, Bones. Help is on the way", he whispered, doing everything in him to remain strong, for them.

"It's better… like this", she whispered, feeling her heart start to beat more slowly with each breath, "Don't worry", she said at his agonized gaze, "Your son is safe… it's all that matters", his eyes leaked a continuous stream of tears, "I don't…", she inhaled deeply, making him gasp, "Matter. I'm happy… You… need him", she whispered.

He frantically said, "But I also need you, Bones. Please, fight, fight for your life!", he begged, and she gave him the saddest smile he had ever seen on her face, and replied, "Nothing… to fight… for now", she shuddered, "So… alone…", she whispered, and started shaking, "So… cold", she said, and fixing her eyes on him, hoping he read the love she would take to her grave with her, only for him, the only man she had ever loved, she smiled, and closed her eyes, her head falling to the side.

The only thing her mind registered was a scream of grief like nothing she had ever heard before, but darkness was stronger, and for once, she embraced it without a doubt. She knew there was a smile on her lips, because for once, the pain stopped.

_**I know the tomatoes are coming my way. This was too angsty, but musie screamed at me to put it here…**_


	3. Chapter 2

**Before I begin: Disclaimer: Own nothing, gain nothing, just fun and easing my aching heart… (and hopefully yours!)**

**My OWN disclaimer: in 99.9% of my stories, there's no way B&B end apart… I have enough angst on the show… SO I try to fix everything here… So my promise continues to be… Trust me, for I'll never leave you brokenhearted…!**

**Guys, I'm truly overwhelmed by the response this fic has received… I am deeply thankful for your reviews and kind words…Also, to all of you who put this story and me on their alerts… You humble me, and I'll try to continue making this worthwhile reading… And I'll also try to make this as mistake-free as possible… **

**Sorry, but I have to say something. I thought 6x09 was a beautiful epi, something we had missed. Of course, to most of you, you hate Booth, because you feel he stopped caring. But let's be honest (IN MY OWN PERSONAL OPINION AND WITH ALL RESPECT TO YOU GUYS), the same people who hate Booth now are the same people who hated Brennan when she was with Sully. We hated her for making him suffer, she was oblivious to his pain. Guys, in the real world, almost 99.9% of people wouldn't wait 6 years for someone to finally make a choice… So, let's cut the guy some slack…**

**Yes, it's not fair. Yes, it's messing with our version of the perfect B&B universe, I know. Even more when DB and DB have such amazing chemistry (though I can't deny that the Booth and Hannah storyline doesn't seem force, in the chemistry we see between DB and Kathryn Winnick, but again, DB has chemistry with just anyone… Sighs and swoons… LOL!. This was like a pressure cooker waiting to explode ever since the 100****th**** came on. What I loved the most was seeing her finally show some emotion, without guarding herself. I particularly loved the parts where we could see the red eyes and rumply appearance, when she always looks so put together… **

**Here it goes, then…**

He didn't know how much time had passed. He had lost count of the minutes ever since he saw her close her eyes.

The only thing that held him from completely breaking down was knowing that Parker needed him, and that he needed to continue being strong for his little man, so he didn't let the best of fears overwhelm him. His little boy had refused to go home, and he had been clinging to him like a baby monkey to his mother ever since they had arrived to the hospital, bawling and crying like his own mother was the one on the brink of death, and not just friend. But he knew, Bones had stopped being "just a friend" to his son ages ago, the same she had stopped being "just a partner" to him.

God, there had been so much blood it was a miracle in itself that she wasn't truly dead. Yet. When her eyes closed, he thought she was gone, but when he pressed his hand to her neck, her pulse was still there, so weak it was barely palpable, but it still existed. He had cried tears of relief as Cam kneeled next to them, and assessed her situation while the ambulance arrived.

Cam had been the one to call 911. She had been silently working in her office, knowing Dr. Brennan was in her own. She didn't know what had happened between her and Booth, but ever since Lauren Eames' case, she had seen the anthropologist a little bit sadder than usual. She had been truly worried as she saw Brennan about to breakdown, and she feared this would be the thing to make her topple over. As a friend to Booth, she was trying to be supportive of his decision to move on and be happy, and while the fact that he was with Hannah disrupted their vision of the perfect universe where they were finally together and had come to grips with their feelings, she couldn't deny the blonde journalist was giving something akin to the happiness he had always wanted.

But she knew him too well for his sake, and sometimes, when he thought no one was looking, she could see a fleeting glimmer of pain. Without him telling her, he knew that is why he wasn't around so much anymore, why he had strayed from their "family". She knew he was trying to protect this new life he had created from himself, and if he truly saw the devastating effects his abandonment was having on his partner and the woman he had proclaimed he loved for so long, he wouldn't be able to go on.

But Cam had also grown a soft spot for Brennan. While they clashed at first, now she could see the woman underneath the surface. Brennan wasn't one for great displays of affection, but the woman knew how to love, and just didn't want to let herself go. Her generosity, her devotion could only be compared to her stubbornness and drive to find the truth. Cam had truly regretted seeing her leave, and that day at the airport, as they said their goodbyes, there had been something warm in Brennan's eyes as she told her she had enjoyed working for her when everyone knew who truly ran the Jeffersonian. In papers, Cam was the boss. But in reality, it was Brennan who glued them together. Cam had understood a long time ago that her role was administrative, because the loyalty the team had, even her, was towards the anthropologist.

So when she heard screaming, she carefully made her way to the door, her heart stopping when she saw Heather Taffet aiming her gun at both her and then at Parker and Hannah. She figured quickly Parker must have been in science club, and as usual, Hannah had been appointed to pick him up. She hadn't missed that while Booth was around less, Hannah was around more, and knowing her longtime friend, she knew he was not so subtly avoiding his partner, but she only wanted to smack him in the back of the head for practically rubbing his relationship with Hannah in Brennan's face, though she knew better. What everyone was seeing as an abandonment on his behalf, as pettily showing everyone he could move on and flaunt Hannah before their eyes, she understood it to be a silent scream from him to them to let them try and regain some sort of happiness, of peace.

She had silently but swiftly looked around her office, trying to find something to stop Taffet in her tracks, but there were no knifes or sharp instruments she could throw without putting their lives at danger. So she settled for ducking beneath her desk and calling 911 to inform the Bureau, the police and the paramedics to rush to their aid, receiving in kind the assurances that they would be there in less than 5 minutes, the police on high alert for the past hour since Taffet's escape had been noticed.

Her pulse had reached the heights when Taffet aimed her gun at Parker, and she was marveled at how efficiently, for a second, Brennan had managed to make the woman shift her attention from the little boy to herself. But when things unfolded, she was practically frozen as she saw Brennan running to Parker, the bullet being released, and Hannah ducking far away from the shooting.

She saw the bullet pass right through Brennan, and she prayed that it had missed her, but the way she fell on top of Parker told her gut the bullet had somehow hit its mark. Her eyes filled with tears, trying to find a way to stop Taffet, knowing they were all still in danger. She had the advantage that Taffet hadn't noticed her presence still, but as she started to made her way to the woman, seeing she was about to fire for a second time, in 2 seconds, she heard a second shot. She saw Taffet's body fall to the floor, a single gunshot wound to the forehead, and moved her eyes to the lab doors, knowing only one person could make such a perfect mark. And indeed there he was, in true Sniper fashion, but, for once, with no hints of regret in his eyes for taking a live.

She had hastily made her way to the platform running as fast as she could, stopping briefly when Booth screamed to the heavens, holding her in his arms.

Her eyes widened, thinking it was all over, her heart clenching in agony, but then she saw him shakily press his hand to her neck, and start crying tears she read as tears of relief, she practically had to rip the woman from his arms to lay her down on the floor, her throat closing as she saw how much blood there was. She had resolutely, but gently, pried his hands away, and assessed the wound.

The bullet hadn't exactly touched the inside of her neck, but there was a gaping hole on the corded muscle that ran through the side, and she instantly assessed, _Could it be the carotid? God, she's bleeding out? _

Luckily, it was on that moment that paramedics arrived, taking her away, true to their word, since not even 5 minutes had passed since she had called. Booth had asked Hannah to take Parker home, his tone unusually curt with her, and Cam was surprised, because there was an anger in his voice that shouldn't have been there, she assumed because he was upset. And Hannah surely understood because she didn't even argue, lowering her eyes to the floor, and trying to take a distraught Parker away.

But Parker had refused adamantly, crying and telling him he wouldn't go home until he knew his Dr. Bones was better, and for once Booth hadn't argued, his eyes pooling at the devotion his son was showing for his partner.

He had looked at Hannah sadly and told her to go home and wait for news.

In the car, they had called Hodgins to let him know what had happened, warning him to give the news as calmly as he could to Angela, given her state and knowing how it would distress her to know her best friend was indeed fighting for his life.

They had arrived at the hospital at the same time the ambulance had, Booth using his siren to follow it close behind, his jaw clenched tight, only listening as Cam made the calls, breaking every speed limit, only focused on getting them there, Cam's voice and Parker's quiet sniffles the only response to his silent fear. The three jumped from the SUV, Booth flashing his badge to a nurse that was about to ask him to remove it from the handicapped spot, effectively halting his protests, and they all saw as they wheeled her in, their eyes pooling as they saw her already hooked to many machines, listening to the paramedics as the doctors greeted them as the doors opened and ran with the gurney.

"Crashed once", said one of the paramedics, "But we got her back after performing CPR and 3 discharges", their hearts felt as they realized she had indeed almost died, "We've been unable to stop the bleeding", they heard, and they followed the gurney, the doctor replying, "OR 3. Need a cross match, type specific, does anyone know what her blood type is?", he asked to the ether, and Booth quickly replied, "A positive. She's A positive", the doctor nodded, and acknowledged the information before saying, "Call blood bank, ask them for 4 bags of type specific. How much blood until now?", he continued, and the paramedic replied, "About 1500ccs, perhaps more".

"Let's go, people!", the doctor barked, "She's bradycardic, she's about to go into cardiac arrest!", they walked pass the doors, to be stopped by a nurse, who told them they couldn't go past that point.

"She's my partner! I have to go in!", Booth pleaded, and the nurse shook her head sympathetically, but resolutely, "I know you want to go in, sir, but they're taking her straight to the OR. Go to the third floor, that's where she'll be. I'll make sure you know if anything happens, Mr…"

"Booth. Seeley Booth", the nurse nodded, and replied, "Go. Don't worry, Dr. Lucas is an amazing surgeon. He'll do everything to save her. It's that way, you'll find the elevators", she pointed to the right direction, Booth nodded tearfully, unable to thank her due to the lump in his throat, and they silently but quickly made the way to the third floor, Cam tightly holding on to Parker's hand, who was following them silently, as he had promised he wouldn't get in the way as long as he could be close to his Bones.

When they arrived, they made their way to the information desk, Cam asking, "Temperance Brennan?", the nurse raised her eyes from the screen, "she was being brought up from the ER".

"Yes. She's in surgery right now. We had her information here, in the database. And we've already called her medical proxy", Booth frowned and said, "What? I'm her medical proxy, have been for 4 years", he said, and the nurse looked confused.

"I'm sorry, sir, but here Max Keenan is listed as medical proxy and next of kin. We already contacted him, and he told us he's on his way", Booth swallowed, and went to sit dejectedly in one of the plastic chairs, his head falling back against the wall, his eyes leaking silent tears from his closed eyelids, all energy drained from his body. Cam and Parker walked slowly to him, Cam swallowing as she noticed his hands stained with blood, her mind painfully remembering when Brennan had done exactly the same when he was shot at the Checkerbox, refusing to wash her hands or move until they told her something of his status. She could only hope that today they wouldn't hear the same words in regards to her.

"I'm no longer her medical proxy, Cam", he said, opening his eyes to focus on his friend, who had also tears in her dark eyes, "When… Oh God, when did I make myself such a shitty friend?", he whispered brokenly, and Cam sat right next to him, understanding what he was saying behind those words, that he now realized just how much he had cut himself off from Brennan's life in his attempt to show everyone, but mostly, himself, that he had truly moved on. Parker sat on the other side, grabbing his father's hand softly, letting him feel his presence and love.

"Seeley, you're not a shitty friend. Perhaps… You went to extremes in your… determination to move on, but… she knows you care", he shook his head at his friend's words.

"No, Cam. She doesn't. Right before she passed out, she told me… she had nothing to fight for. Cam, what did I do to her? How… how did I let things get so messed up?", he said agonizingly, and she nodded tearfully, heartbroken at seeing his pain, and truly concerned that Parker was getting this unchecked, agonized version of his father.

"You both made mistakes, Seeley", one night, right before he had departed, he had finally confided why their relationship was so strained. He told her of his pitiful attempt to make her see they could be in a relationship, and how she had rejected him. He had also sworn her to secrecy, "You… you've never handled things the right way, and you always go to extremes. But no matter what, this isn't your fault", she said.

"Cam, she gave her life for my son, for what? So that I can be happy, with my perfect life?" he said bitterly, "Did I deserve her, ever?", he sobbed, and Cam rubbed his shoulder, as Parker tried to hug his Dad, who brokenly wrapped him in his strong arms, sobbing against his son's curls.

"She loves you, Dad. I know. And she's not mad. She was sad, but she told me she wanted you to be happy", that only made Booth cry harder, holding on to the only pure, worthy thing he had ever made, his beautiful boy.

About 15 minutes later, a frantic Jack and a panting Angela rushed to them, "What happened?", Jack asked, his eyes red and puffy, the same as Angela's, standing in front of them, Angela's eyes widening as she saw Booth's stained hands and clothes, a hand on her mouth, and eyes pooling with tears.

"Taffet. She escaped from prison, and went directly to the Jeffersonian", Cam replied, "She… tried to kill Parker, but Brennan… got in the way, to defend him, and… she got shot. To the neck. I can't lie, guys. It's not looking good", Cam said sadly.

"Oh God, Bren!", Angela said, sobbing as she hid her face against Jack's shoulder, who could only rub her back, his own eyes filling with tears at the grim news.

"Have they said anything?", he asked, and Cam shook her head.

"No, they brought her to the OR right away. She… was bleeding out. It's a miracle in itself that she got here alive", Jack closed his eyes, and it was then when the couple noticed Booth crying.

They had been torn between wishing him happiness, but saddened at seeing how miserable Brennan was by it. Jack knew she thought no one noticed, but in the late of night, when she was at the platform, alone, he could see the mask slip, letting him see the heartbreak in her eyes. He had liked Hannah, and for some time, he had truly believed Brennan was ok with it. He had even laughed at Angela's frantic ramblings about how Hannah had changed everything, and how tearfully she had told him she feared her best friend had lost a great man, and hadn't even realized it. But he knew that indeed, Brennan had realized her mistake, something even more acutely visible when Lauren Eames' case came forward. But he couldn't tell that to his wife, because he knew he would break his wife's gentle heart if he told her her friend wasn't oblivious to her feelings as she had tried to made them all think.

But now, seeing Booth cry, holding Parker against his chest like he was the only thing he had left, he knew Booth had finally seen his mistake, and how broken he was by the realization: Jack had experienced it, knowing the love he felt for Angela would never fade, even when they were apart and she started going from man to man, and well, woman. And Booth was even more committed than he was to his feelings. He hadn't been fooled by the shiny bauble that was Hannah Burley. Booth's core hadn't changed, he knew that, and being so, his love for Brennan hadn't changed either.

"It's going to be allright, man", Hodgins said, and Booth shook his head, hiding his face in his son's curls, not caring that he was getting the boy dirty with more blood. Parker' shirt was stained already as the blood had flowed into him when Brennan had been covering his body.

Some more minutes passed, half an hour perhaps, filled with Booth and Angela sobbing, when Max Keenan entered the room.

Jack straightened his spine, fearing for Booth. Cam did too. They had all seen how Max had gracefully taken a step back when he realized Booth was the one who had taken the role of avenging protector on Brennan's behalf, but now that Booth had made himself practically a stranger in his friend's life, Max had again regained his role.

His expression was unreadable. They couldn't see if he was angry or sad. He silently went to the nurse's desk, and they filled him in. He signed some forms that were waiting for him, and then he went to them.

Booth's eyes had snapped open when he heard Max talking to the nurses. He gently placed Parker on the seat next to him, and shakily stood on his feet.

Max walked towards him, and they stood face to face. Booth locked eyes with Max, Max's expression giving nothing away.

Booth just stared at him, and weakly said, "Go ahead", they didn't understand what Booth meant until they saw Max raise a fist and hit him square in the jaw, making Booth take a few steps backwards. He didn't rub his bruised jaw, and just stared at Max pleadingly for about two seconds when Max stood closer and hooked his arm strongly through Booth's neck, bringing the agent to his neck, hugging him tightly.

The scene broke their hearts, all of them crying as they saw Booth sobbing loudly against Max's body, "Hit me, Max. I deserve it", Max's eyes were also filled with tears as he continued to hug Booth's body, which was shaking for dear life, "You're doing that for the both of us, boy, no need for me to give you more pain", his words made Booth fall to his knees, still in front of Max, like someone pleading to his executioner to spare his life.

Max continued hugging Booth as he felt the agent fall to the floor, Booth's tall frame making his face meet Max's chest, his hands now on Booth's shoulders.

Max swallowed, "My little girl has loved you for longer than she cared to admit. I made her afraid to love, to trust by leaving. But you made her trust again, you made her believe, you tore her walls, but you gave up on her at the end", Booth's cries came even harder, "But she forgave you. Because she wanted to see you happy. For once, she was the one to take that step back", Booth continued sobbing, "You are a good man, Booth. You are. She told me. I've seen it. Everyone makes mistakes. Let's… only hope our girl makes it through so we both can make amends", he continued rubbing Booth' shoulders for long moments, very much like a father forgiving a son, until Booth breathed deeply and started standing.

Max lent him a hand, and hugged him again before he took the seat next to Booth that Cam had just vacated to give them room to speak, all of them surrounding the three loves of Brennan's life.

Booth wiped his tears and sniffled, and Max handed him his own handkerchief so he could blow his nose.

After he composed himself a little, Booth raised his puffy eyes to Max and asked, "When… when did she make you her medical proxy?".

"About a month ago. She… she said she knew you had a new life, and that she didn't want to be a burden to you if… something happened to her", Booth's head fell in shame, "She told me she knew you had every right to find the perfect woman for you, and she thought that… Hannah girl was it, so she figured your new love interest would misunderstand if you were still her next of kin when you were already… moving on", Max continued, "And she thought it would send the wrong message, besides she thought you wouldn't be interested in running to her aid in case she needed you".

"I'm sorry Max. This is all my fault", Booth said, and again Max brought his hand to his shoulder, "I failed her".

"No, Booth. This is both your fault. Yours, for rushing her, and hers, for being so stubborn in her need to hold on to her fear. As a man, I don't blame you for trying to find someone who loved you. But as a father, it saddens me to think that she counted on you for protection, and that lately, you were nowhere to be found".

Booth's eyes were ridden with pain, knowing he couldn't argue at that, "And even if I die to be 90, that won't be enough time to make it up to her", he said to Max.

"I know, son. I just wish… my little girl hadn't been so sad", Max said, "Pray, Booth. Pray to that God you so fiercely believe in so He gives you both a second chance", Booth nodded, and Parker leaned into his side, relieved his Grandpa Max had been so understanding.

Silence loomed between the group, Parker resting his head on his father's lap, exhausted by the day's events, Max sitting right next to Booth, giving him his silent forgiveness, Angela sitting in front of them between Jack and Cam. Cam had called Rebecca to let her know what had happened at Booth's request, and for once, Rebecca had grown frantic, angry even, but after Cam explained, she had been truly understanding. She had told Cam she was going to pick up Parker right away, but Cam had explained that had been Booth's idea, but that Parker had absolutely refused to leave before he made sure his Bones was ok. Rebecca then told Cam to look out for Booth and her son, to make sure Parker was ok. She had asked Cam to let her speak to Parker and it was that conversation which made her see that indeed she wouldn't be able to drag her son away from the hospital until he knew his beloved Dr. Bones was truly fine. After talking to Cam again, they agreed that she would call when they had news and they could convince Parker to go home.

Maybe 1 hour had passed before the doctor Cam and Booth had seen going with Brennan to the OR exited.

Max quickly stood to get the news, knowing the doctor would be looking for her medical proxy, but he softly touched Booth in the shoulder to let him know he could go too to hear everything the doctor had to say. Booth smiled gratefully, and Cam, understanding what Booth needed, helped him shift Parker to her own lap, as she took his vacated seat to keep the slumbering boy calm.

The doctor recognized Booth, but not the man next to him, "I'm Dr. Henry Lucas. I was the doctor in charge of Temperance Brennan's case. And you are?", he asked

"I'm Max Keenan, Temperance's dad and medical proxy", he said, shaking the doctor's hand, "And in case you haven't been introduced, he's Seeley Booth, my daughter's partner", the doctor shook Booth's hand, and nodded.

"Yes, we saw each other as Ms. Brennan…", Booth interrupted him, "Dr. Brennan", the doctor raised an eyebrow, but amended, "As Dr. Brennan", he emphasized the word doctor, "Was brought in. In fact, it was very helpful that you knew her blood type, it saved us precious time", seeing their anxious faces, he began.

"The bullet that hurt Dr. Brennan went through her neck muscles, and it hit the sternocleidomastoid branch of the superior thyroid artery. All in all, it comes from the external carotid artery. The bullet ripped part of her sternocleidomastoid muscles, but that was the least of our concerns, since our first aim was to stop her from bleeding out. She crashed once on the ambulance and once on the OR, but we were able to bring her back both times. She lost a great deal of blood, almost more than half her blood volume, and we transfused her. Luckily, we had enough type specific blood in the blood bank, and we gave her 2 units", both men nodded, listening intently to the doctor, "Luckily for her, the greater portion of the damage was done to the muscle, and not to the artery itself. We repaired the walls of the artery, and we found the bullet only nicked it on the outer surface, but not enough to cause a damage we would have been unable to repair. But of course, the area is filled with important veins and arteries. She's lucky to have survived, a few millimeters deeper and we wouldn't have been able to do anything for her", Booth didn't understand much of the words, but he got the underlying meaning behind them. She was alive.

Shaking in relief, he asked the doctor, "So, she's ok?", the doctor nodded a little, "Why… why there was so much blood if… it was just a nick, not a gaping hole?"

"Mr. Booth, the portion of her neck the bullet touched ripped her muscles, another reason for her bleeding. And the lining of the muscles here and vascular system is more delicate here. We believe there was no lasting damage to the nerves or the most important areas of her muscle: if it had, it would have impaired her ability to move her head from side to side. The bullet made such a path that the nick to the artery was small, but big enough to endanger her. The part that worries us is the implications: the carotid goes directly to her brain, and she crashed on us twice, so we're not really certain if there is any lasting brain damage due to the moments she was without oxygen, more than the bleeding itself. We also don't know if the blood loss could have affected the flow to her muscles and caused some damage we couldn't assess initially. The reason she passed out was the wound's proximity to her head", Booth's rising relief was crushed.

"So… she could.. her brain could…?", he asked unable to finish. The doctor understood what he needed to know, "No way to know until she wakes. I'm sorry I can't give you more hopeful news, but all we can do is wait for her to wake and as soon as she does, we will conduct some neurological exams, a physical exam first and then we´ll see if there's a need for more specialized ones after we check her responses and reflexes, ok? She's in recovery right now, to keep her stable, but in about an hour, we'll move her to the ICU, which is in the fourth floor, only if her condition remains as it is. Then you can see her. The breathing tube we gave her will be removed as we assess if her spontaneous respiratory response is intact; once we're sure, we'll take it away, but it's there for now, as a precaution. Given her situation, only two can go at a time, for now. Mr. Keenan, it's up to you to decide who goes in. The nurses will instruct you and help you scrub in", they shook hands again, and Booth went to sit next to Cam, not knowing how to feel.

Booth tried to replay the doctor's every word to the team as faithfully as possible, and when he was done, Cam said, "He's right. The reason she passed out so fast, even if the bullet just nicked the artery, was because the wound was so close to the head, and even if the damage was to one of the branches, it is still one of the main arteries to feed the brain. All we can do is wait and hope", she said.

They also heard the part where Booth said only two could go in, and that it was up to Max to decide. Max was silently pondering everything, but his eyes met Angela's, and she nodded when she understood what he was trying to tell her. He smiled apologetically at her, knowing he had made his choice.

And just then the desk nurse came up to them.

**I apologize if the science-y and medical stuff has mistakes. I'm no doctor, and less a ballistics expert, but I tried to make this as scientifically believable as possible, for the benefits of fanfiction-kind (my word, hehehe). Anyway, it took a bit of reading and understanding of Gray's anatomy (the book not the series, hahaha).**

**If you find any mistakes, feel free to point them out. AS I say in my profile, I love reviews and constructive criticism (and Spanish is my mother tongue, so I'm genetically inclined to make mistakes… But I try to do my best, so this is fanfiction-worthy…**

**I already have the next chappie practically done, but I would love to hear your comments before I post it… **

**I did this since so many of you asked me to give this a happy ending… But I don't know how long… (KIDDING!)**

**Many loose ends… Booth still has to talk with Hannah… Did anyone realize why he was angry? I know you did! He also has to really TALK to Bones… From his heart… **

**TBC, if you want me to…**


	4. Chapter 3

**I hope this is worth your time, and that it makes sense to you… I'm starting to honor Booth's coma dream here, so bear with me…**

She truly didn't understand where she was. The only thing she knew was that there was warmth, and a peace she had never felt before in her adult life.

Everything was white. When she squinted her eyes, she feared the light would hurt them, but she found that it while it was bright, it was pleasantly soft. She moved her neck, thinking she would feel pain, but when she tilted her head, there was nothing there. She immediately raised her hand to touch the spot, and found there was no wound.

Stunned, as she stared at the ceiling, she started realizing where she was. It couldn't be. She was back in her room, in her house. Not her foster homes, not her current apartment. Her parents' house.

She gasped as, with one look, she noticed she was in her childhood room. She stood from the bed she was lying on, _her bed, _and quickly made her way to the mirror in her vanity. She still looked the same. For a second she feared she would stare into her 15-year old self, but she was still the same as the last time she had taken a look into her mirror. The only difference was that there weren't any lines of fatigue etched on her face, no gauntness. She looked beautiful, healthy and carefree. She had on a white blouse, and a pair of comfortable jeans, along with flats. It was the outfit she put on regularly when she wanted to go for a walk and clear her mind.

She inhaled deeply several times, trying to steady her wildly beating heart, and after a few minutes, she felt the fear give way to the comfort she had always associated to the image of her childhood home.

She slowly went to her door, and opened the doorknob. Everything was silent, eerily so. One by one, she opened the door to each room, peeking inside: her parents' room, Russ' room, but there was no one there.

She shook her head, as she made her way down the stairs. "I must have hypoxia, and therefore my brain is coming up with weird images, very much like what happened to Booth when he had his comma dream", she thought to herself, and continued moving through the living room, her breath caught in her throat as she realized everything was the same way, just as the day Social Services had come for her. The Christmas ornaments, the tree, her heart clenching painfully when she saw the gifts she had refused to open still lying on the plush rug under the tree, and that had remained there. She swallowed remembering how she asked the social worker to hold on to them, and give them to her when she was out of the system, fearing they would get lost in her future foster homes. It would be her promise to hold on to life, and never give up. Indeed, when she was 18, and the hell that had been the foster system was over for her, she had gone to the Social Services office, and asked for the woman. She had been removed from her case, but she had never forgotten about the unusual request coming from the 15-year old, and how heartbroken she was. The woman had only smiled at her, and handed her a bag with the presents. Over the years, she had found the courage to open some of them over the years during Christmas, a testament to the strength she could never give up if she wanted to continue her path towards success. The last one was the one she opened when she met Ivy Gilespie, and saw the reflection of a live without answers in the old woman. She recalled how the woman's eyes had lit up as she had told her that Lionel had never broken his promise to her, and their unborn child, how, even after so many years, her heart had been mended by knowing he had loved her until the day he had died.

She tenderly caressed the wood above the chimney, her fingers touching the soft velvet of the Christmas boots with their names on it. Hers was the smallest, since she said she didn't believe in Santa. Her parents had just laughed at her when they started hanging them, saying that no matter how invested in science she was, she could never deny herself the pleasure of being irrational, at least once a year.

The calm she found in being surrounded by the familiarity of her house continued to grow until she heard some noises coming from the kitchen.

Her pulse skyrocketed, but she wasn't about to run. Whether if this was a dream or her oxygen-deprived brain, she was still the same Temperance Brennan who never backed out from danger. So, she quickly scanned her surroundings. The only thing she found was a large umbrella. Swiftly and silently taking it into her hands, she thought that at least she would be able to defend herself.

But when she made her way to the kitchen, peeking carefully over the threshold, it was when her heart truly stopped. There was her mother. Her beautiful mother, wearing an apron, baking cookies as she had done each Christmas until the day she left, the umbrella falling from her hands with a clatter to the hardwood floor.

She swallowed hard, and couldn't prevent the tears that came to her eyes, "Mom?", she asked shakily.

Christine turned on her heels, and wiping her hands on a towel, she smiled, "Tempe".

"You're not real", she said, scrunching her eyelids, willing her mind to get rid of the vision, but when she opened them a few seconds later, her mother was still there, "You can't be real".

Her eyes pooled even more, and Christine lovingly said, "Come here. Sit. We have much to discuss", she timidly made her way to the kitchen table, where her mother already sat waiting for her.

"You're not real. This is the product of my oxygen deprivation, a way for my mind to find comfort I the turmoil of the trauma I suffered", she said again, and Christine smiled indulgently at her, "I'm as real as you want me to be, honey", she said, and Brennan flinched as she felt her mother's touch on her hand.

It was still as soft and comforting as ever.

"I don't understand", she pleaded brokenly, "I don't understand. I know, I know in my mind you're dead, I know this is just my brain acting up because probably I'm dying and my brain cells are deprived of oxygen", she repeated, and Christine caressed her hand even more tenderly, giving her time to adjust.

"Would you like to know why I'm here?", she asked, and Temperance could only nod her head, because in truth, she did need to know why her mother was there, even if she knew it was just a dream.

"You're not dying, Temperance. Not yet, at least", she started. "I know you've always hated the term, but your brain and your body are suspended in a… Limbo of sorts", at Temperance's frown, she said, "Let me explain. Your brain is trying to heal your broken body, and the reason why you're here is because, no matter how much you want to let go, how much you think there's nothing else for you out there, the will to fight has been engraved in you ever since we left you. Yes, rationally, you know I'm dead, but there's something you missed", she said.

"What?", Temperance asked, afraid of the answer.

"The thought of me has never stopped being comforting to you. Even if you thought it was silly at first, I know about your weekly visits to my grave. You talk to me there, you tell me about your dreams, and fears, about your disappointments and goals. I know", Temperance's eyes filled with more tears, and when they fell, she quickly wiped them away with her free hand.

"So that's why I'm here. Yes, I'm dead. But you need someone you can trust to help you open the doors of your mind you're trying to keep shut. Your brain is screaming at you, begging you to see the future that will surely come if your choices remain the same. What I'm here to do, Tempe, is guide you so you find the strength to acknowledge what your mind has been telling you".

"And, according to you, what is it that I need to learn?", she asked, shaking her head tiredly.

"Temperance, you trust your mind more than anything else. But when it fails you, you feel you have no ground. I'm going to talk to you in terms you will understand. Remember the premise about how time flows?", she asked, and Temperance nodded, "Time is a like a river. It can't be stopped. It can't be reversed. But if you change the course of the river, then naturally, it follows that the events that are linked to the flow of that river have to change too. Well, that was my personal take on it, anyway. Your father was always the brains in this couple", Christine said, smiling softly.

"I know that. If the past could be changed, you would be alive. You wouldn't have left me, and Russ", Temperance said, pitifully, "Though the years, I've come to accept that you left to protect me, but it didn't change the fact that there were many times I almost didn't make it".

Christine nodded. "I know. `What ifs´ only serve to increase the heartache you feel when things go wrong in your life. I wondered many times what would have happened if we had taken you with us. Russ was older, he was already out of school, and he could defend himself, and he could even help you, but you were still a little girl. You had never been exposed to the hardships of life, we had sheltered you, and then you were forced to grow up in seconds. It is one of the reasons your father hurts so much: you were the apple of his eye, his baby girl. Russ was always independent, but he loved how much you trusted him, and it also killed him to leave you behind. But I'm not here to show you the `what ifs´ of your past, which cannot be changed. I'm here to show you what your mind is too hurt to accept".

"And according to you, what is it that I'm supposed to see?", Temperance asked, her heart beating wildly as she started realizing the implications of what her mother was telling her, a truth she didn't want to see..

And Christine smiled tenderly, and said, "Follow me", she said, squeezing her hand before standing.

Christine made Temperance follow her to the garden, both women standing on the porch. The picture she was presented with was nothing like she had expected to see. Instead of the garden she had seen through her childhood years, there were two pathways, daisies and daffodils on each side of them, pointing the road to nowhere. There was truly no end in sight. The irony wasn't lost on her.

"The pathway reference is not a metaphor, Temperance. As an empiricist, you know it. You know that when you take a road in life, the other starts to fade completely, until it disappears. Someone as rational as you can't truly believe in the idea of alternate universes, but what your mind wants you to see while your guard is down and you're not truly in control is how the decisions you've made have shaped you into the woman you're today", Christine explained.

"But I already know that. I mean, I even acknowledged this before Angela. Out of everyone at the lab, I'm the only one who's living the life I expected", she interjected, and Christine smiled.

"But, are you truly happy by it? Temperance, it is true. You took each decision carefully so being here was the only result. Your only focus was excelling, and in that drive to excel, you missed out on many good people, people who wanted to be with you", Christine explained, "However, they lacked one fundamental quality. Endurance. Persistence. The only man who truly embodied those qualities and touched your heart is _him", _they didn't need to say his name, for they both knew only Seeley Booth fitted the description.

"He's the only one you let your walls down for, the only one you truly let in. Not even Angela has reached the deep recesses of your heart the way he has. No one knows you like he does, and no one was as insistent and relentless as he was to find the way inside your heart and mind. But you've always been afraid that someday, he'll find something horrible about you, and his love will wane", Temperance lowered her eyes to the ground, and Christine's gentle hand on her chin made her meet eyes as blue as hers, making her remember the comfort that always came from staring into her mother's eyes, as fake as this reality could be, it felt definitely real.

"Temperance, your life hangs in the balance. You threw yourself in front of that woman because you love that little boy like he was the child of your womb, and as the child of your heart", Temperance couldn't fight her words or her own tears, because indeed she adored Parker, both for being Booth's and for his tender heart, "But we both know there was another reason there. The same reason that prevents you from wanting to fight for your life as you lay in that hospital bed. You feel you lost the reasons you had to fight. You feel that when you open your eyes, there won't be anyone for you. You feel you're again completely alone".

"But I am", Temperance argued sadly.

"It feels like that, but eventually, you'll learn. Temperance. These roads before you are not mutually exclusive. This one", she pointed to the left, "is the road that will lead you to see what will happen if the events continue to unfold to where the flow is already leading them, in the present. This is what will happen if, when you wake up, you continue to act like you always have, and let your rational mind overrule the desires of the live you wanted and gave up on when you gave up on Booth", Christine said.

Temperance swallowed, "And the other one?". She didn't even have the strength to argue and say she had never given up on him, but that it had been he who had given up on her, on his love for her.

"The other one is what would have happened if you had said yes that night, if you hadn't left your fears get in the way. This is what your mind knows would have happened, what you didn't want to accept. That is why you left and ran away from everything", Christine told her.

"But you said I couldn't change the past. I already took a gamble, and he said he… he has someone else", she pleaded, and Christine raised a hand to caress her cheek, "I don't see the point in seeing a future that can no longer be".

"Yes. The past can't be changed. But when you see what would have been, you will learn something about yourself. By letting your mind show you this, there is something you will only understand when you open yourself to the discovery. Go. I would advise you to start with the left one. When you're done, you'll be brought here again", she nodded, but fear was visible on her eyes, "While you're there, it will feel like it's completely real, you'll feel every emotion, every sensation", Christine explained.

"Go, honey. I'll be waiting for you", she encouraged, and Temperance timidly took the stairs down. She let her shoes take in the raspy texture of the gravel beneath her feet until suddenly there was a white light surrounding her, and she stopped feeling, her eyes closing.

The journey was beginning.

**So, from now on, everything involving Brennan will be the journey she will be embarking on, as she finally lets go and lets her mind show her the future if she continues to travel the same road…**

**Musie loves reviews… And writes faster! (hehe)**

**No, really… I hate asking for reviews, but it's the only way to know how I'm doing… thank you!**


	5. Chapter 4

_At the hospital…_

"Mr. Keenan, your daughter has been brought to the ICU. You can go up there now. There's also a waiting room there", they nodded to the nurseand made their way to the elevator, mindful of Angela's condition and Booth having to carry a sleeping Parker.

They reached the fourth floor, and they were led to the door of the ICU, where a different nurse was already waiting for them. "Mr. Keenan?", she asked, and he nodded.

"As the doctor told you, only two of you can go in. We can let you stay 20 minutes, maximum, given her delicate condition. Will you be going in?", Max nodded, "Well, you have to put on some scrubs, and wash your hands thoroughly for 2 minutes. That goes for whoever you decided will accompany you. I'll be waiting for you inside", she said, and disappeared behind the swinging doors.

Max turned to the team, seeing them a little far behind, but enough to listen to the nurse's instructions.

He walked to them, Booth silently staring into space as he sat holding Parker to his chest, who thankfully continued to slumber tiredly against his father's body.

He stood right in front of Booth, and kindly said, "Booth?", he raised tired, bloodshot eyes to Max, and the older man said, "Let Cam hold the boy. You're coming with me", Booth's eyes filled with grateful tears as he realized this was truly the way Max was showing him he had indeed forgiven him.

Cam instantly sat on a chair and received Parker in her arms, who grumbled in his sleep before resuming his light snoring against her chest.

Booth stood hesitantly before Angela, who was resting her head on Jack' shoulders, and she understood what he was trying to say, "Don't feel bad, Booth", she said softly, "No matter what you did, you never stopped being her best friend, no matter how far you were, how much distance you put between… That spot stopped being mine ages ago, and… She needs you. You're the only one, who can pull her back. She was waiting for you to realize it", Booth gave her a tearful smile, and followed Max into the ICU, not wanting to waste more time.

Max was handed a robe and a hat, but taking a look at Booth, the nurse asked him to remove his clothes entirely, since they were filled with blood, and handed him a full set of new scrubs. Following her instructions, he removed his shirt, and then washed his hands of the blood, seeing the water turn a muddy pink, thinking that if she had felt the same way when he was shot, no wonder she was so angry at not being told he was alive. Thinking of the pain in his jaw, he smiled slightly, _No wonder were that right hook comes from, _comparing the current pain he felt on his face with the one she had inflicted as his fake funeral.

He dried his hands, removed his pants, and put on the surgical gown. He tied the hat behind his neck, and washed his hands again, as the nurse had told him to do when he was fully clothed so he indeed removed all traces of blood from his skin.

When he was ready, he found Max waiting for him, the nurse leading them to her cubicle.

When they reached her bed, Booth's heart sunk when he saw her face unnaturally pale. She had always had the cutest rosiest blush, and seeing her so fragile made him physically ache.

"Ok. I put a chair next to her bed. One of you can sit, and I'll allow the other to remain, as long as he stands here", she pointed to the foot of her bed, "You can shift whenever you want, but understand only one of you can stand next to her, ok?", they both nodded, and she pulled the curtain a bit, to give them privacy, waiting a bit to see if they had any questions.

Max walked to the chair, and sat tiredly on it. She was hooked to several machines, her left hand had an IV drip, apart from the breathing tube and the respirator attached to it, and he noticed there was a bag of something red-yellowish attached to the vein in her arm, "What's that?", he asked.

"It's plasma. She'll be anemic for a while, her body has to replenish what it lost and acknowledge the new blood we gave her. As the doctor explained, we're monitoring her spontaneous breathing, and once we're sure she's breathing on her on, the breathing tube will be removed. I know it makes her face look awkward and gaunt, even worse than she really is, but the machines indeed lower the effort her body has to make to recover", Max nodded and seeing he wasn't looking at her, she left them alone.

Max carefully took her hand, rubbing her knuckles so he didn't move the IV. "My sweet baby girl", he said tenderly, "You should have let me kill her when I had the chance", Booth's heart ached for the man sitting tiredly before his daughter. Being a father, he could only understand the dread Max felt at seeing her like this. He had felt the same dread when he thought Howard Epps had come after Parker, feeling his heart practically stop until he was certain Parker was ok and unharmed.

"You're the strongest person I know. I couldn't be prouder of everything you've accomplished, of the woman you've become. I need you to know, I love you more than anything. You're my sweet, sweet angel, no matter how tough you are. But right now, you have to fight. You have to use that stubbornness and fortitude to pull through, to prove those doctors wrong, to show them you can do it, ok?", he said tearfully, and remained there, just staring at her face and rubbing her hand, trying to vanish the cold from the skin.

The doctors had cleaned her, and there was a huge bandage on the side of her neck. Her hair was pulled to the side, arranged in a somewhat messy ponytail, but it had been cleaned so it wasn't as soaked with her blood, but Booth could see the traces of it there.

After some minutes of just staring at her and gently rubbing her hand, Max stood, and said, "Come here", Booth lowered his eyes, "We know she would have wanted you here, no matter what. Do I have to drag you?", Max asked, and Booth shook his head and after Max cleared the way, he sat in the same spot that had just been vacated.

"Bones, my Bones, I don't know if I have the right to call you that anymore", he started, rubbing her hand, "I don't know if there's anything I can do to make myself worthy of you, after the mess I've made of things. It's not only because you're the smartest, most successful woman I've ever known. It's because of how beautiful you are. Inside and out. You've mesmerized me from the day we met. I think… I fell in love with you at first sight. And I know you're listening to me saying that it's impossible to fall in love, let alone at first sight, but it's true. Everything I thought about was you", he swallowed so his voice didn't shake, "Yes, at the beginning, it was all about lust, about passion, but… when I got to know you, you heart, your soul… You started filling my nights, and my days: there wasn't a single day when I didn't dream about you, about the life I wanted to live with you… I held myself back from touching you so many times because I knew, I knew that one touch, and I would be hooked forever. But I was a fool, because I already was hooked. You're so… I don't have any words. There's not a single thing for me to say that would make me worthy of your forgiveness. You broke my heart, but what I did to you was even worse. And I'm so sorry. Because I broke my promise to you. I stopped being the friend you needed me to be, and I… I left you alone. I was so scared… I needed to feel loved, to fill my loneliness, but I screwed things up, I really did. I should have seen how much I was hurting you, being with Hannah, and… how I treated you… that night, when you told me…", he cried for a few moments, unable to hold it in anymore, "that you regretted missing your chance with me…", he couldn't stop from rising a hand to caress her face gently carefully around the tube in her mouth, his eyes lost in her beauty, flinching when he felt her skin icy cold, "But I was so stupid. Because you never did, you never lost your chance, because I never stopped loving you. If I doubted… Not anymore because… you made me see. I still have a son, because of you. And it's not because I feel unbelievably grateful to you for saving him, because I am, that I'm telling you this but… because in that moment I knew I had never stopped aching for you. Because when you closed your eyes, for a second I had a glimpse of my world without you in it, without your eyes, your smile, your body, your intelligence, your passion… No woman could fill that hole. Ever. So I'm begging you, please open those beautiful eyes so I can crawl like a bug and you crush me like I deserve, so I can hear you say, _anthropologically speaking _and _I don't know what that means, _and correct everything I say_, _and I can beg you to take me back, even if I'm the worst partner and friend you've ever had. Open your eyes so I can make things right, so I can…", he sobbed, "Love you the way you deserve, so I can treat you like a queen, like a princess. Besides, if you don't, I'm sure your Dad will gut me alive, so… Open your eyes, my beautiful, brave Temperance, and save me from my doom", he finished, and gently bent his head until it rested next to her body, sobbing softly.

Max's eyes were moist as he heard the agent beg for her forgiveness, how he vowed to make himself worthy of her again. It's all he had ever wanted, someone to love his little girl for who she was, and he knew Seeley Booth was the only one who knew her and loved her that way. He was angry that things had to reach this point for them to realize the monumental mistakes they had been making, and he was sad that they were missing out on so much for being so stubborn.

The only thing left to do now was wait. Seeing the broken man leaning against his daughter, he went to find the doctor in charge of the ICU.

Fortunately, he didn't have to walk far because the doctor was there, by the nurse's desk.

"Excuse me?", Max said, making the man raise his eyes from the computer, "I'm Max Keenan, Temperance Brennan's father", the doctor stood and went to him, "Dr. Kyle Petersen".

After shaking hands, Max began to plead his case, "Dr. Petersen, I understand there is a reason why ICU protocol is so strict, but I need to ask a huge favor of you: you know of my daughter's case, right?", the doctor nodded and waited patiently for Max to continue, "I also understand it was only because you were aware of the severity of her case that you let us see her for a while, that you're fearing the worst. Doctor, I get all of these things, but I´m here to beg you: my daughter´s partner is in there, with her, and I know that in a few minutes, we have to leave, but I need you to bend the rules once again and let him stay with her", seeing the doctor about to protest, Max raised his hand, halting what he knew would be a definite refusal, "Hear me out before you rule this out completely. My daughter and that man have been in love for years, but have been too stubborn to act on their feelings. It might sound stupid, but my daughter risked her life to save the life of his little boy. So he's basically in there, blaming himself for what happened, almost to the point of beating himself up, thinking this is all his fault. I know it seems like it won't make a difference, since my daughter is in a comma", Max had to swallow the bile that rose to his throat when he said the word comma, "But it would ease his guilt tremendously if he feels he can be here for her. Imagine if the woman you loved saved your son and you were denied the chance of just sitting with her, and holding her hand. For you, it doesn't make a difference, but it would mean the world to us if you let him sit by her. You won't notice him, he won't be in the way, but he needs it. If…", Max fought his tears, "If something happens, and he´s not right there by her side… It will kill him".

The doctor seemed reluctant, "I understand what you're seeing, Mr. Keenan, and I'm sympathetic to your predicament, but your daughter´ situation is critical, and it wouldn't be wise to let him stay, as you said, these protocols exist for a reason", he said, and Max shook his head.

"So", Max spat angrily, "To protect your precious protocol, you're going to let my critically-wounded daughter to lay there alone, to perhaps _die alone, _when she could have someone she loves right next to her. You might think, clinically, that she won't know. What you're not considering is the torture you'll be submitting that poor man too. Think if you were in the same situation: wouldn't you like to spend the…", he inhaled deeply to be able to get the words out, "last hours of the life of the woman you love right next to her?"

The doctor lowered his eyes momentarily, and Max said, pleadingly, "Doctor, look. I'm not asking you for this, but for me. I would love nothing more than to be next to my little girl, but I'm giving this to that man, because right now? If she doesn't wake up, and he can't be there when… _she goes", _his eyes pooled with tears, "He'll be destroyed. So please, have some compassion. It's late at night, and there are very few people here. Visiting hours are already finished, and no one but the staff will notice. He won't be in the way, I promise you".

The doctor looked pensively at Max, before replying, "I will allow this, but if he disturbs her in any way, he´s out immediately", Max smiled and reached for his hand.

"Doctor, you won't regret it. I'll go tell him, and I'll leave", he said, and went to find Booth.

When he reached them, his heart broke. He knew how it felt to feel that you were losing the woman you loved. He recalled with acute clarity the pain he felt when his beloved Ruth died, how from that point forward, his life lost all meaning. He was only glad he had Russ and Tempe, because if not, he knew he would have put a bullet through his brain, because only his kids gave him a reason to continue fighting, and in truth, he had promised her, _by her grave, _that he would protect them until his dying day. That was his only reason to be.

But Booth had nothing to hold on to, he could see it. If she died, giving her life to protect him, he would always blame himself, he would become a shadow of the man he once had been.

Before he spoke, Max closed his eyes, and prayed, "_Ruthie, please, if you're in Heaven… help us. We can't lose her, not now"._

Booth continued to cry silently, his body bent, her hand gently cradled in his, his head next to her body on the bed, praying to every Saint he knew, every muscle coiled with tension.

"Booth?", Booth raised his head, and sniffled, wiping his face with his free hand, unwilling to let go of her, seeing her so pale she almost blended with the white bedding of her hospital bed.

"We have to go, right?", he said brokenly, staring at the woman he loved, so fragile, so broken lying there.

"_I_ have to go", he said pointedly, "I talked to the doctor, and… they're letting you stay", Booth's eyes lit up at the news, and if Max had any lingering doubts of his love, the spark of hope at the news told him what he needed to know. His baby girl would be safe with him.

"Really?", Max nodded, "Yes, but you have to make yourself invisible so they don't throw you out. Think you can do that?", he asked, eyebrow raised in challenge.

Looking at her, caressing her with his eyes, Booth nodded, "As if my life depended on it".

Max got closer, and tapped his shoulder, "You're a good man, Booth. And I'm going to her place, safe in the knowledge that you'll care for her while I'm gone. Don't beat yourself up any longer. When she wakes, you'll have the chance to make amends".

Booth swallowed the lump on his throat, rubbing his thumb over the soft skin of her knuckles, "When she wakes, I promise you Max, I'll do everything to convince her, to prove to her, I won't ever leave her. I just need one chance, one more chance, Max, to make things right", Max nodded.

"Call me if anything happens, good or bad, ok?", Booth nodded, but his eyes were fixed on her.

"Max?", Max turned to look at him, "Can you wait for just a moment here? I need to go talk to the squints. I know they'll want to be here, but it's pointless if they're going to be there, like sitting ducks. Don't… don't let them pull an all-nighter, if I don't manage to convince them to go home, ok? Help me convince them. I know Angela will want to, and in her condition, it's not safe. If there's anyone I trust to help me, it's you", Max nodded again.

"Go. But don't take long", Booth quickly stood, bur before he exited, he bent his head and pressed a kiss against her forehead.

He didn't notice it in his haste to leave, but he could see the frown marring her face ease just a little, "You found yourself a good man, baby girl. Give him a chance when he wakes up".

B&B&B&B&B&B&B&B

When he exited the doors of the ICU, after explaining things to the nurse in charge outside the door, the squints stood to hear the news, except Cam, who was still cradling Parker against her chest.

"Guys, she's… stable", he began, "But she won't wake up", their faces fell instantly, "You heard them before. Guys, I know you want to be here, but you know they're not letting anyone in".

Jack asked, "What about you? Are they kicking you out? Why isn't Max here?".

"Max is watching her. They… Max asked them to let me stay. I don't know what he said, but… the gist is I get to be close to her. I…", his eyes filled with tears, "I can't leave her, guys. I can't go".

Angela smiled sadly, her gentle heart breaking for their pain, for how they had to face a tragedy for him to realize where his affections really were.

"Booth, go to her", Angela said encouragingly, her eyes soft and forgiving.

"Booth is right, people", Cam interjected, "As much as we would all love to be here, they won't let us here while her condition continues to be critical. Let's be grateful that at least they let Booth here stay", the rest of the group agreed with her assessment. At least, they could go home knowing she wouldn't be alone, and that he would care for her, fiercely.

"Cam?", he began hesitantly, "Can you…", Cam raised her hand, "You don't need to ask. I'll take the little guy home, but I think you should wake him and explain things to him so he doesn't get upset. He could feel betrayed if he didn't wake up here", Booth nodded and crouched next to his friend and son.

He gently shook the boy' shoulder, "Bub? Wake up", another gentle tug on his shoulder, only getting a sleepy grumble. He tenderly rubbed his curls, and tried again, "Parker? Please, wake up. I need to talk to you. It's about Bones", it seemed the nickname for the woman they both adored was the only thing the boy's mind registered, and he sleepily raised his head from where he had been resting it against Cam' shoulder to meet his father's eyes.

"Daddy, how's Dr. Bones?", Parker asked, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles; Booth thought about lying, but if there was one thing Parker loved about Brennan was her honesty, and how she didn't baby him, giving him the facts in ways he could understand.

"Bub, she was wounded pretty hard. Right now, she's sleeping tight, so she can get better faster. Remember like when you had the chicken pox and when you had the fever, you felt better when you were sleeping?", Parker nodded, "Well, it's like that, bub. We have to be patient, so her body has a chance to heal properly. Can you do something for me?", another nod, "Can you go with Dr. Cam to your mom's?", seeing his eyes drop to the floor, he nudged his chin softly with his hand, "Bub, your mom must be so scared, she must be wanting to hug you real tight after all that happened, and it's just because she knew you wouldn't leave that she hasn't come here, and because she didn't want to make this too crowded, but she must be missing you terribly. I know you want to be here, but they won't let you see Dr. Bones right now".

Parker seemed lost in thought until he asked, "Are you staying to take care of her?", Booth nodded, and his boy took his little hands to caress his face, making his heart feel just a bit lighter and hopeful, smiling reassuringly at him.

"Dad, she won't leave us. She loves us too much for that. She will fight for us, I know it. Just promise me something?", Booth nodded, fighting tears as he saw the hope in his son's eyes, "When she wakes, can we make her our girlfriend? I truly love her, Daddy", Booth reached out for him, and held him tightly against his chest. Amazing how a few words coming from his little boy and he felt hope again.

"I promise you, bub. As soon as she wakes", he whispered against his boy's curls, and kissed his temple.

"I have to go back. I promise you I'll talk to the doctors so they let you in very soon and you can see her", Parker nodded and kissed his cheek.

"Bye Daddy. Take care of our girl", Booth smiled at him as Cam stood with him wrapped around her, holding him to her body carefully.

They all had tears in their eyes, and he was only able to give them a strong hug. He even hugged Sweets tightly, knowing the young psychologist would be there for him when he felt overwhelmed by it all, and instinctively realizing their baby duck must be terrified.

He returned to the ICU, and stood by her bedside. Max, acknowledging him, and silently left, and once more, he retook his post by her bed, unable to stop himself from kissing her hand.

"I'll be here when you wake, baby. I promise. I won't fail you again, I won't let you fall, and if you do, we fall together", he vowed, already bracing himself for a lifetime of sleep deprivation, if that's what was needed of him, until she opened her eyes.

**Liked it? Hated it?**

**More to come soon…**

**Next, Brennan's journey begins…**


	6. Chapter 5

**Guys, I WILL THANK YOU A THOUSAND TIMES IF I HAVE TO… **

**I couldn't resist posting again… You deserve to see the first part of her journey… And I hope that by the end, you start seeing my point…**

**As usual, I own nothing, I gain nothing, just the pleasure of playing around… All of this belongs to the writers, producers and people at FOX… **

**However, this little baby is MINE, LOL!**

**SECOND DISCLAIMER: If you want to have a visual idea of how Temperance, Hannah and the ring looked, search google these images:**

**Emily Deschanel on Esquire Magazine June 2009 (she's on a velvet black dress and high-heeled stilettos)**

**Hannah´s dress: worldflash. /001/ carolina-herrera- wedding-dresses. Html (it is the 5****th**** dress from the top)**

**Engagement ring: www. / sareen-diamond- # (without the spaces)**

**Continue second disclaimer: I GAIN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING FROM THOSE PAGES (just making you visualize better what is happening…**

**Hope you enjoy this.**

**This is the beginning of Brennan journey. It must be clear, it will take a while, since she has to see both sides of the coin. While she does, we'll also see glimpses of what's happening to the rest of the gang…**

**THIRD DISCLAIMER: Considering this is a repost, and considering some reviews, I will now add the phrase, Bren's dream world, so there's no mix up between her dream and reality.**

**So, without any further adieu…**

_Bren's dream world_

She squinted her eyes, and when she opened them again, she saw the concerned faces of her friends hovering above her.

"I think she's ok", Angela said, relieved, "Sweetie?", Angela touched her arm, and she flinched a bit as she felt the very real sensation of Angela's warm hand on her skin, "You had us worried for a second. I guess you've been skipping meals again. Honey", she chided, "We've told you time and time again that is not healthy. ".

"I might… have skipped breakfast", Temperance said, and that is when she took notice of her surroundings, "But I'm ok now", she said, her throat closing at the images, confused at what was happening, her mind fuzzy for a few seconds.

They were in a parish room, the ones they kept for brides and their bridesmaids. She took a look at her friends, and realized they were in bridesmaid's dresses. They were wearing soft lilac chiffon dressed with an A-line, a wide dark purple satin band enhancing their tiny waists, their hairs pulled to the side in a low ponytail, with a lilac flower arrangement carefully placed on the band that held their hair, both women looking beautiful and fresh with their soft makeup.

She took a look at herself, and noticed her dress was different. She was wearing a beautiful black velvet dress. The neck line was daring, but tasteful, as it was heart-shaped, a diamond line holding the sides together, enhancing the firmness and softness of her skin and the swell of her breasts. The dress went all the way to her feet, and it had an opening on her right thigh that could only be seen as she walked. She stood up slowly, and saw her image on the mirror. Her hair was loose, and it was arranged into soft curls. Her hair was longer, and her bangs were blending with the rest of her curls. She had chandelier diamond earrings, a bracelet, and her mother's ring, along with high black strappy stilettos.

She was disoriented for a few seconds, she knew she was at a wedding, but if she wasn't the bride, who was?

"Temperance, you have to take care of yourself", she heard a third voice in the room, "I can't have my maid of honor fainting on me, now, can I?", she turned on her heels and stared.

Oh. My. God.

It was Hannah, who was in a very beautiful wedding dress; it was a perfect shade of ivory, with an accented pattern on her bust and on the trim of the dress, strapless, accentuating her slim figure; her curls were falling silkily down her back, a diamond barrette on top of her head, keeping the hair out of her face, and holding the short veil in place. Her makeup was soft, and her eyes shone with the glimmer of a woman in love, about to live her dream.

Her heart plummeted to the floor, but she put on her bravest face, "Sorry, Hannah. I promise you, everything will go perfectly", then her mind was suddenly filled with a thousand images at once, the current situations starting to make sense, like receiving a file with a background check, and for the life of her, she couldn't understand why. But in a few seconds, everything came back to her and she understood it all. They were in Booth's parish, in a back room, waiting to be cued in as they were all there for Booth's and Hannah's wedding.

She recalled in painful clarity how he had gone to her office, just 2 months ago, to ask her opinion on the most important purchase he had ever made.

_It had been weird seeing him there, in the middle of the morning, after he had taken his space from the lab, only coming when there was a real need for him during a case, or when something extraordinary happened; as his coming for the sake of it was practically inexistent. His visits to bring her snacks or just to chat had stopped after his relationship with Hannah had deepened. However, she had vowed to be the best friend she could to him, and she was always pleasant and accommodating, determined to help him reach his happily ever after. So, on that day, after pleasantries, and a bit of small talk, she had seen him fidget until she demanded he told her what he needed. _

"_Booth, we're not working a case, and we both know you don't usually come here for nothing. And adding to that the fact that you definitely look… like you want to tell me something important. So, why don't you just save us precious time and get to it? I have remains in Limbo that I need to identify", he had stared at her for a few seconds, and hesitantly, he had started, "Bones, you know I value your opinion above all others, right? NO matter what", she had frowned a bit at his sudden change of mood from amicable and even playful to complete seriousness, and then he had added, "I… I've never stopped considering you my best friend, and I know I've neglected you lately, and I can only hope I can make it up to you somehow, but now it would mean… It would mean the world to me if I had your support on this"._

"_Booth, it doesn't matter what has happened between us, you're still a friend to me. I've… I've understood your need to build a life with Hannah, and that it's not easy to find a balance between her and how demanding our work together is. It would only be natural that she takes precedence over anything else", he had smiled in relief at her reassuring words._

"_Thanks, Bones. It does mean a lot, knowing things are ok between us". He said gratefully._

She recalled that after her breaking down in front of him in his SUV, the next day she had dismissed his concern when he went looking for her, concern lacing his handsome face. She also remembered how she had told him that what had struck her so bad was not knowing, as an empiricist, how her life would have turned out had her choices been different. She had then given him a lecture on how she was pleased with her choices, but that she regretted the strain that their friendship had suffered because of her need to retreat into herself, and to adjust to the circumstances surrounding them. She had asked him to forgive her for not being brave enough to deal with the awkwardness of her initial rejection of him, and how she was sorry it had taken her traveling across the globe to realize that her job with him was the most fulfilling thing she did, telling him she was happy he had found someone he was happy with, someone who loved him as he had always desired, and that she didn't want things between them to become awkward.

She saw a glimmer of pained disappointment at her words, but he had said nothing. He had given her a soft hug, and told her he needed to meet Hannah for lunch, and that they would love to have her over somewhere during the weekend.

From that point forward, she had become a master at hiding her pain, sharing meals with them, seeing their relationship grow, knowing that he would never be hers. Until the day she was recalling right now.

"_Bones, you know I trust you, with everything, right?", he had said eagerly, and she nodded, confused by his unusual grave countenance._

"_I need… I know you don't believe in these things, but… You're still a woman, right?", he had said._

_She had snorted, and said, "Of course I'm still a woman. I've never stopped being one", he had chuckled at her matter-of-fact response._

"_Always so literal, Bones. Anyway, back to my point. As a woman, I was wondering if you… could give me an honest opinion", he said, and fumbled in his pants' pocket, until he retrieved a small blue velvet box, "On this"._

_He opened it, and her eyes widened as she saw the most beautiful engagement ring on its velvet prison. It was platinum, and it had a glittering square diamond standing proud in the middle, flanked by many little diamonds that enhanced the glitter around the center stone._

_Hit by the meaning behind what she was seeing, she swallowed hard, and gathering her courage, she replied, "It's… beautiful, Booth. It truly is. I might not agree on marriage or see it as a viable alternative for me, but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate its meaning for most people, anthropologically speaking, and particularly, what it has always meant to you", she had replied, and he had smiled, pleased at her words, "It's a beautiful piece of jewelry, and very tasteful, Booth, I'm certain Hannah will be very pleased when you present it to her", he continued to smile at her praise of his choice._

_She tried to talk around the lump in her throat and ask the dreaded question, "When… when are you thinking of proposing, Booth?", she asked, doing her best to sound concerned in the way a friend should, not in the way a woman who was finally losing the man she loved would sound when she realized it was definitely over._

"_This weekend. I'm taking her… I'm taking her to a cabin. It's secluded, and surrounded by lakes and nature. It's truly romantic. I… I asked Pops for the key… It is his, and I went last weekend to fix everything. I asked a friend to go this Friday, before we arrive, and give it the final touches", his eyes were sparkling with happiness._

_She had raised her eyes to him, "Last weekend, when you said you had an undercover operation?", he had the grace to look sheepish, and replied, "I couldn't tell you I was fixing everything to propose to my girlfriend. We know you're not good at lying, and if Hannah had come here and asked you if you knew where I was, she would have seen past you", he explained._

"_Maybe", she said, thinking how badly he had underestimated her acting skills, which she had been honing ever since she realized he would never back down from his decision to be with Hannah._

"_So", he started, "You really think she'll like it?", he asked with a beaming smile, and hiding her bruised heart, she gave him a sad smile and said, "I already told you, she'll love it, Booth. I'm sure of it", she replied._

"_I know she loves me Bones, but… Do you think she'll say yes?", he asked, with an eagerness that resembled much Parker when he wanted to be reassured of something._

_`If she's not as stupid as I was and turns you down´, she thought to herself. Clearing her thoughts, she said, "If she loves you as much as she claims, something I believe you've told me she has proven to you time and time again, I believe that the most reasonable outcome would be that she accepts your proposal", she said, hiding behind her big words, acting calm and composed, when she felt anything but._

_He chuckled, "Thanks, Bones. You always make me feel better. You're right. I have no reason to doubt that Hannah loves me, nor that she wants to be with me. Parker finally took to her, and they get along great. In truth, I was waiting only for that to happen. I wanted my little boy to be comfortable around her, and grow to love her before I popped the question. And the last time I had him, they truly had a great time together, I could see them bonding. He even asked Hannah to tuck him in", he had replied, happily, "It's only knowing Parker has accepted her that finally made my choice. Well, the decision was already made, but I would never jeopardize my relationship with my little boy. It took some time, but they finally bonded, and that was all I wanted"._

_She nodded, "I understand your meaning. You're a very devoted father, and you're very thoughtful in considering the consequences on your choices, as if you marry Hannah, she'll become a permanent in Parker's life. Did… Did you ask Parker about his opinion on the matter?", she asked, foolishly desiring that there was something to stop the snowball that was starting to fall._

"_Yes, I asked before I went to buy the ring; I explained everything, and mucho to my relief, he said he likes her", he told her happily, "He said that he was starting to love her, because he could see she made me happy. And that he knew she loved me, and that he was glad I stopped feeling lonely ever since she was with me. So he told me he would love to have her as a stepmom, but that his only condition was that he could bring the rings to us. Imagine that, huh?", she had nodded, her eyes lying, showing him a happiness she didn't feel._

"_I'm glad. Everything is finally coming along for you", she replied amicably, `And while you find your happiness, my world falls around me´, she had thought, but the smile never wavered from her face._

_Days passed, and indeed, Hannah accepted. She had felt the team's stares of her when news of their engagement spread like bushfire through the lab, but she played her part to perfection, until everyone bought her lie, and finally gave up on the idea that she was upset about the news, dismissing their concerns for her as foolish. She was heart sore, but no one knew. Even Angela had been fooled, and that was saying a lot, since Angela was the second person who knew her best, after Booth._

_To add insult to injury, Hannah had practically begged her, one day as she, Booth and Parker had lunch together, to be her maid of honor._

_Her initial reaction was to refuse, Booth supporting her as he explained to Hannah that Bones wasn't truly into marriage stuff and that they shouldn't burden her with something that would make her feel weird and uncomfortable, but Hannah had pleaded her case in a way she couldn't truly refuse._

"_Temperance, I have no sisters. My family is quite little, and my cousins are really annoying, meaning, we've never truly gotten along. Tempe, you're Seeley's best friend", she said, her emerald eyes pleading, "And as such, you have a huge place in my heart as well. It would mean the world to us if you were there, standing right next to us, supporting us. It would show us we can always count on you as a friend. Isn't it right, Seeley? Don't you think it would be amazing and a great gift to us if she said yes?", Hannah had asked excitedly, and leaning in to kiss her temple, Booth had replied, his eyes filled with love for the woman sitting right next to him, but staring back at his longtime friend, _

"_She's right, Bones. I would never push, but the truth is that it would mean the world to me if you said yes. It wouldn't be… complete. I mean, I can't ask you to be my best man", he teased, "But you're my partner, and it would be the best gift ever, more than anything your money could buy, if you showed us that you could put aside your distaste for the archaic rituals and join us", he said, his voice a mixture between teasing and a real request for her support. She was torn. She had fooled everyone, but she couldn't deny how it would break her heart if she not only had to watch him devote his life and love to another woman, but also practically push his hand into Hannah's in the process._

_Parker, of course, had chimed in, much to her dismay, "Yeah, Bones. It wouldn't be the same if you weren't there. We're family, and as family, you could show Daddy how good a friend you are to him by being there. My mom explained to me that sometimes, when you love someone, and they're your friends, you do things for them, even if you don't like them so much. Like, for example, my friend Tommy loves basketball, and I don't like it so much, since I prefer baseball and football. Anyway, when we hang out together, some weekends we play my favorites, and the others we play his. So, if you don't really like weddings, you could still do it for Daddy and Hannah, and prove to them you're their real friend by doing something you hate", not one of the adults could argue with the simple logic he had used._

_Seeing their three expectant faces, and disregarding the vice grip she felt around her bruised heart knowing she would only submit herself to more pain, she had only said, "Ok. I'll do it. If it's just to prove to you I really support your decision to enter a successful blending of familial obligations as well as monetary and property consolidation", Parker looked confused and just said, "What?", as he asked his father for clarification._

_Booth laughed, "That she'll do it to prove to us that she really supports us getting married", he said, ruffling Parker's curls, whose face brightened at the explanation, Hannah joining them in laughter._

_She had laughed too, but it was hollow. Fortunately for her, they were so immersed in their picture of family bliss they all missed the searing pain tinting her blue eyes._

_From that point forward, everything was about the wedding. Angela was even helping Hannah plan, and of course, there was no way and Cam and her weren't involved by proxy, she even more as she had to "fulfill her duties". _

_She recalled when they went to find Hannah's wedding dress, the 3 women claiming it was one of the main duties of the maid of honor to help the bride find the perfect dress. Besides, she would need a dress too. To be honest, she would have rather have her teeth taken off with a plier without anesthetic, but she couldn't back down now. She couldn't blame them either, as she had squashed their concern, truly making them believe that there was nothing wrong with supporting Booth by accepting Hannah as one of them. Rationally she knew that any other reaction would have made them suspicious, so she had to play her part until the very end._

_Hannah had looked radiant, and her eyes had pooled with happy tears when she indeed found the perfect dress, Angela and Cam practically cooing around her, appraising her beauty and approving her choice. Then, they had found the bridesmaids' dresses, Bones confused that Hannah had only asked for 2, not 3 dresses, until she was dragged to the other side of the store to find the most perfect black dress she had ever seen._

"_I know it's against tradition. But you're a very beautiful woman, Temperance, and I've noticed how much black flatters you. You will look beautiful in this", Hannah had said confidently, her eyes shining._

"_Hannah, I'm sure you realize black is a color usually related to mourning", she had said, matter-of-factly, and Hannah laughed, accustomed by her blunt responses, "Yes, but it doesn't concern me because I know you're not grieving. And I want my maid of honor to look stunning. Who knows? Perhaps we´ll be able to hook you up with some of Seeley's Army friends", she said teasingly, "Now go try it on"._

_Indeed the dress had looked stunning on her, and both Angela and Cam had agreed with Hannah's choice in dress, fussing over Brennan and telling her how astounding she looked. Hannah had even jokingly said that she could even overshadow the bride in that dress. Indeed, it left nothing to the imagination while being completely tasteful. Her earlier remark about the mourning couldn't have been more truthful, but that was just for her to know._

_From there, the only thing she had been able to do was hide her pain, and hope she wouldn't be destroyed by it in the process. _

From that moment, to finding herself ready to act as Hannah's maid of honor, everything had happened at lightning speed.

"If you're truly ok, Tempe, could I ask you a favor?", Hannah asked eagerly, and she nodded, too tired to argue, "Could you go check up on Seeley? He was so nervous yesterday, like he was afraid I was about to back down or something", she said, and Temperance shook her head, dismissing Hannah's concerns.

"It might be difficult for him to truly grasp that this day has finally arrived, even more when the notion of marriage and family life has eluded him for so long, since you're the first real successful relationship he's entered since Rebecca", she said, and Hannah chuckled.

"I know, but I would feel better if you went and took a look and tell me how he's doing, and tell him I'm ok, that I love him and that I'm not backing down on us", she smiled radiantly, making her acquiesce to her wishes. Temperance swallowed, but knowing there was no way out, she stepped from the room, leaving her 2 friends fuss over the new addition to their family.

She focused on her breathing, trying to keep her pulse from moving, but as she approached the door of the room she knew he was in, she felt her chest become tighter with each step, her limbs felt heavy and unresponsive.

She leaned her forehead against the cool wood for a few moments, and before she had a chance to go back and make up a lie for Hannah to hide the fact that she had lost her resolve, she knocked softly.

"Come in", came from inside, his voice strong. She opened the door softly, and her breath caught again at how incredibly handsome he looked.

He was still in his crisp white shirt and silky black trousers, his jacket carefully placed on a hanger next to the mirror where he was looking at his reflection. He was wearing a dark silver gray waistcoat that enhanced the width of his shoulders and the narrowness of his hips. His shirt was perfectly pressed, and he was fighting with his bow tie. In truth, she had never seen him look so utterly perfect, like a prince or a model straight from a magazine.

"Bones", he beamed at her, pausing for a second, before trying to succeed in his endeavors.

"Having trouble?", she teased a bit, and he replied, "You think being a sniper my hand would never falter, but I find myself… irrevocably nervous", he said solemnly, a bit amused at his predicament.

He hid his reactions to seeing her with him. No matter if he was going to be a married man in less than an hour, he couldn't deny the perfect beauty of the woman standing before him. And today she looked nothing short of perfect.

She went to him, and pried his hands away from the tie, taking over his task. Her hands didn't shake, thankfully, but she didn't meet his eyes, seemingly preoccupied with helping him get ready.

"So, I guess you don't believe in luck", he teased while he stared into her face as she tried to fix his tie with precise movements of her hand and wrists.

"Since I assume you're referring to the notion that it is bad luck to see the bride before the wedding, I'm not the bride, and you're right", she said, putting the finishing touches on his tie, "I don't believe in luck", she smoothed the fabric and released it.

The truth is that she needed to be far away from him. He smelled unbelievable, and he looked so beautiful, even if he would contest the adjective, it woke every female desire she had ever felt for him. What made her heart clench was seeing he had discarded his usual spiky hair for the softer look of the earlier days of their partnership, his perfect dark hair arranged in smooth lines, taking her back to days where pain was not the constant in her life.

"You're done", he looked at himself, and smiled, "Thanks, Bones. But, shouldn't you be with Hannah?", he asked, curious.

"She was worried about you, and wanted me to come here and ask if you were ok. She noticed you were feeling nervous last night. She wanted me to tell you that… she loves you, and that she won't be taking her word back on this", they had had a small rehearsal dinner at the Founding Fathers. She had politely excused from any dancing with him, saying the new shoes she was wearing had given her blisters that made it painful to walk, but that she hoped she would be in shape for the wedding. They had bought her lie, and she had found a much needed escape. She knew that one moment in his arms before the wedding, and her control would snap, making her beg for him to reconsider, to choose her, to love her.

"Backing down, Bones", he chuckled, "I know. But I'm ok. I'm more than ok, but thank you for coming and for… all your support. You've been amazing to us both", he smiled beautifully, a smile she had missed because it had been ages since he aimed it at her. But it broke her knowing he truly didn't mean it for her, knowing another woman was the reason he was feeling so content.

"I guess this is it, then", she said, swallowing hard, when the silence started to stretch.

He came closer, "It is. I can't wait to be on my honeymoon, Hannah and I are so looking forward to our getaway. It will be a nice chance to rest", he said, while he started to put on his jacket.

"I thought that what you were looking forward was not rest, but the opportunity to engage in intercourse multiple times", she said bluntly, hiding behind it to mask her pain, and he chuckled.

"Same old Bones. Always so direct", he teased while he made the jacket mold to his muscles, smoothing the fabric, checking that everything was in perfect order.

She spoke around the pain in her throat, and said, "You can always count on me for that", she said, and when he finished buttoning up, he turned to her, and asked,

"How do I look?", he said, and she chuckled, knowing that if she didn't resort to laughter, she would burst into tears.

"I'm sure Hannah will be very pleased with your appearance", he beamed at her answer.

"Bones, I've never really thanked you for doing this. I realize… It must have uncomfortable for you", he said, his eyes soft and thankful. She tried to hide her surprise, thinking he had noticed her pain, but his next words proved her wrong, "I mean, with all of your views on marriage, this couldn't have been easy for you. Having to help Hannah with something you despise", he said, adding to his earlier words.

She shook her head, her curls flying in the air, "While I don't see marriage as a viable option for myself, it doesn't mean that I don't see the value you've always given to it, how badly you've desired to finally create a family. Titles and all", she replied.

"Bones, I need you to know something", he said, startling her when he reached for her hand, making her stare into his brown eyes.

"You're so important to me. And I can't… I can't keep this a secret anymore", she felt her heart pounding in her ears, the rush of blood making her lightheaded,

"What?", she asked shakily, fighting to keep her heart from foolishly believing that that some providential event could put a stop to these chain of events, that he hadn't given up on her, that a miracle could take place.

"Bones… Hannah… Hannah is pregnant", he said, and her eyes widened, fighting the tears she knew she would have to hide, "We found out last week. Remember when I told you we thought she had food poisoning from trying the different caterers? That was just morning sickness. I… She asked me to keep it a secret. She's only 2 months, and she didn't want to jinx it, but… I couldn't leave for my honeymoon without you knowing, and… I know that after the ceremony is over, we won't have time to truly speak. I trust you so much, and… I know you'll keep our secret. I… I asked Hannah to let me tell you, and she agreed, saying there was no one she trusted more than you, given you're our closest friend", he said happily. She could see how excited he was by the news, and why not when he had made it clear he desired to form a family?

Understanding dawned on her, "So… I guess that is why she sent me, knowing you wouldn't have a chance to tell me afterwards with the party and all", she said, curtly.

"I guess so. Bones, I'm… I never thought I could be this happy. After so long feeling… hurt, and alone… She healed me, Bones. She truly did. The way she loves me… I know no one else loves me so completely. And I know she's the one. I know this will last", he said, staring into her blue eyes.

She smiled at him, hoping it came out sincere and heartfelt, "I'm sure too. She… she has proven herself to be willing and able to accommodate her goals and passion for her work with the family life you both want. I expect she's pleased to be pregnant?", he nodded, "Over the moon, Bones. Over the moon. We spent the entire night caressing her belly, the day we found out, making plans for our baby. We're going to start looking for a house when we return", he was positively beaming at the idea.

"Then, you're getting everything you ever wanted. No one… deserves it more than you do", she said, and slipped her hand from his grasp, knowing 1 more minute in his presence, and she would crumble like a house of cards before him, doing something as foolish as to beg him not to go ahead with this wedding and take her back, to love her back as he used to.

"Now that the purpose of my visit is completed, I will go and inform Hannah of your wellbeing. They must be waiting for me. Apparently, there are some rituals only a maid of honor can fulfill", she said, and with a stiff smile, she turned on her heels.

As she reached the door, she heard his voice, "Bones?"

She tilted her head, "I haven't said it, but you look incredibly beautiful too. I know you don't particularly believe in this, but… I hope you find love, and happiness, someday", she smiled, and with a curt nod exited.

Her eyes pooled with tears as she walked the hall. _Oh, Booth, I already did. It was you._

She took a few moments, leaning against a wall, a hand on her chest, and hastily wiping the two treacherous tears that had escaped her eyelids before breathing deeply and making her way to the room where the women were waiting for her return, where she acted nonchalant and cool, following her cues, like she knew she was supposed to. She shared a look with Hannah that told her the woman already knew she was onto their secret, and that she was happy for it.

Hannah's father knocked on the door, to let them know they were ready for them to start. They grabbed their bouquets, and exited the door.

They reached the end of the aisle, 2 of Hannah's little cousins acting as flower girls, dressed in white and lilac, spreading flowers around, making everyone smile at their eagerness to cover the floor.

Then, it was Cam and Angela's turn, walking regally, with soft smiles on their faces.

Hannah leaned in to Temperance, "Tempe, it's up to you", she was startled as she felt Jared take her by the elbow.

She tilted her head, clearly surprised by his presence when he was the best man, and he was supposed to be standing next to his brother.

"What are you doing here, Jared?", he smiled at her confusion, "Big bro knows you hate this, so he asked me to fulfill a double duty, and escort you to through the aisle", she smiled gratefully at his support.

Over the months, seeing how Jared had turned his life around, they had found a way to get past their initial grudges, and they formed a friendship. She could see Jared now truly valued his big brother, and how he was finally supportive and caring, which was the only thing she ever wanted, to see Booth rekindle the bond he ached to have with his baby brother, to see him appreciate the support Booth had always given him, and replying in kind.

But it was just one week ago, during the party at the Founding Fathers, when a few exchanged words made Jared realize Dr. Temperance Brennan was not only a great scientist, but also an amazing actress.

"_I always thought my bro would marry you, Tempe", he had said when they finally had a chance to speak apart from the group,"I never bought the `just partners´ bs, if you get me". He had seen her fidget during the entire night, and though she was all smiles, he had seen something flicker in those eyes that had captivated him (no offense to his lovely wife, though) from the first moment, and figuring his big brother had certainly a big part in whatever that was, he decided to find out._

_She sighed heavily, "I guess I'm not really the type of woman he needed", she had replied, taking a sip of her wine, as they both watched Booth and Hannah laugh at a joke Hodgins was telling them, "She's good for him, Jared. That's all I ever wanted for him, what I couldn't give him", he saw the sadness in the blue pools, the crushing weight of her defeat._

"_You were good for him too, Tempe. You always were. And he wanted you, I'm sure of it. But he had to mend his heart", she nodded, lowering her eyes to focus on the patterns on the table, as their romantic fallout was the loudest secret in the room among their friends and family, "I… I always imagined you in the family. Pops adores you, Parker too. You'll always be family to us, Tempe, to me. I will always owe you, because I know he wouldn't be here if it hadn't been for you. You're family, no matter who he marries.", she turned glassy eyes at him, grateful at this unusual display of solidarity, particularly coming from him, and saddened as she realized the one to truly see past her mask hadn´t been her friends, her family, but his brother, who she had always considered to have practically no emotional maturity or insight by the way he treated his brother._

"_Only in heart, never in real life, Jared", she said, and he leaned to squeeze her shoulder softly._

"_He doesn't truly know what he's letting go of, Tempe. You're truly an amazing person", a teary smile formed on her lips._

"_Not amazing enough, it seems. But thank you, Jared. I'm glad to see how much you've changed, but mostly, how close you and Booth finally are. He needed you", he smiled at her._

"_And I needed him. But he also needed you, Tempe", he replied, and she shook her head, "Not anymore", he pursed his lips, and hearing them call for him, with a curt nod, he went to the table and embraced his wife, his eyes meeting hers briefly before they gave everything away._

"Thank you, Jared", she said, her eyes grateful, and hooking her arm with his, they made their way through the aisle. She had a soft smile, ordering every facial muscle not to betray her and put the heartbreak she felt on display. She had refused to take a look at Booth's face, fearing she would be unable to go on, but when she was by the altar, she couldn't resist, and giving in, allowed herself to take one glance at him, and her step faltered. Luckily, Booth's eyes weren't focused on her, for once, so he missed it. Jared squeezed her forearm, lending her his strength so she could finish the ride, and before she knew it, she was at the top of the aisle, in her designated place. Fulfilling her designated role. No more.

The violins started, and everyone stood. While the entire assembly was smiling at the picture Hannah made in her beautiful wedding gown, Temperance's eyes were focused on Booth, on his beaming smile, on how his eyes shone with happy tears, how the haunted look had finally vacated his brown eyes.

The ceremony was beautiful, even to her. Her smile didn't falter, and she had the fleeting thought that she would have to massage her face when she got home to wipe it off her muscles. Every word, every loving vow felt like a blow to her solar plexus, but she didn't falter, telling herself _it will be over soon, it will be over soon, _like a mantra that would get her through this moment and to the next.

The only consolation was seeing the look of perfect bliss on his face, and briefly taking a look at the Cross, remembering that the meaning behind it was great sacrifices made in the name of love, she could only hope that Hannah would make herself worthy of the sacrifice that would surely steal everything that was joyful from her.

**I'm already dodging the rotten tomatoes coming at me! Really, just bear with me and keep in mind that this is what she's seeing… Don't give up on me and on musie, who will be patiently waiting for your every word…**

**I hate asking for reviews, and I hate even more withholding chapters, but since this is a new concept for me to write, I want to hear your opinions before I go on… I already have the next chappie written out… A well-fed musie is very easily subjected to bribery, LOL!**


	7. Chapter 6

_Bren's dream world_

The party was on, everyone dancing and laughing. There were at Hodgins' mansion. He had offered them to have their party there when they learned of the engagement, and of course, after they had made certain Brennan was truly ok with the news. It had stung to realize her family had accepted Hannah like she was one of them, but she couldn't blame them for truly believing her charade. There were several tents placed around the garden, and being the maid of honor, she had to stay with the wedding party until all her duties were fulfilled. Everyone was there: the big bosses of the FBI, Booth's FBI and Army buddies, Hannah's family, the entire squint squad.

After all the pleasantries were over and toasts and photos were done (luckily, Booth hadn't pushed her to be the one to make a toast, and right before the wedding, when they were getting ready, Hannah's mother had begged her to let her be the one to give the mandatory speech, something she gladly accepted, relieved at the thought that no more lies would have to slip from her mouth), she slipped silently from the party while Booth and Hannah had their first dance as husband and wife.

She was leaning over the railing that bordered the small lake that was right next to the gardens, giving it a dreamy look. It was filled with swans, ducks… a couple of peacocks were on the other side, and looking at them closely, she recognized their motions as courting. Everything and everyone was talking about love, and the irony didn't get pass her when she noticed she was the only one alone, the only one who would end up the rest of her life without knowing what love would be like, not feel like, because she was sure the love she carried inside would die with her.

Even Sweets and Daisy had reconciled, and would be married in 6 months, right after Daisy presented her doctorate dissertation. Cam and Paul had moved in together and had agreed that if they were still together in 1 year, they would marry as well. Angela had told her that as soon as Michael reached 2, they would try for a second baby. She loved big families, and so did Jack, being only children themselves.

She took a sip of her champagne, and lost track of time until she felt a warm, large hand touch the small of her back.

She jumped, but didn't even tilt her heard to check who it was. Only _he _elicited that reaction from her body without even trying.

"Hey, Bones. I missed you. I danced with all the ladies, even with Caroline, and you weren't there", he chided playfully.

Not raising her eyes from the lake, she replied, "I'm sorry, but I was tired and I needed a breather. These events are a little…"

"Overwhelming?", he supplied and she nodded.

"Bones, are you ok?", he said, concerned at seeing her so silent, "I would hate to know that you feel this uncomfortable by being here. We're here to celebrate", he tried to tease, but she just shook her head and closed her eyes, inhaling the night air.

"Booth, I know perhaps this is not the appropriate moment, and you know I'm never good with timing but… You're leaving in 2 hours, and I want… I need to ask you something", she said.

"So serious", he teased, but seeing her frown, and serious posture, he sobered up quickly, knowing that when she was like this, she meant business, and said, "Shoot".

"Booth, you told me, right after you and Hannah got engaged that… the day she got pregnant, you would quit the field", he nodded, "She is pregnant now, so, in the light of recent events, I guess the decision stands".

He felt a wave of dread pass over him as he replied, "I don't want to subject her to that. I mean, a baby… It's all I ever wanted, and… I can't keep risking my life. I'm good at what I do, and I've always loved it, but I don't want to tempt my good luck, and… my family is more important", he said.

"It's not luck, Booth", she said sternly, "It's never been. It's you. You're highly skilled, perhaps the best agent the DC office has right now", he looked pleasantly surprised at her heartfelt appraisal.

"Thanks for the compliment, Bones", he said, and she shook her head.

"Not a compliment, Booth. A fact. I… Cullen called me ask me how we would handle things now that he had offered you the Assistant Director post?", Booth nodded, his eyes unable to leave the figure of the woman he had loved for so many years, lost momentarily in this little moment between them, "Considering my past history with other agents, he was rightfully concerned, but I set his mind at ease. However, I would have liked it very much if you had extended me the courtesy of hearing this from you. We're supposedly partners", she said, thankful that at least any hurt he saw in her he would assume was because she was upset at this change of tide.

"Sorry for not telling you, Bones… but yes, he's stepping down. Hacker… Hacker will take his place, but he already told me it will only be for a year. He'll go to Cali, and then I'll be… Deputy director, imagine that", he said, "I didn't want to hide it, but with the wedding, everything's been so crazy, and we truly haven't had the chance to truly sit and speak", she nodded.

"This offer is not a surprise to me", she began, "You deserve a reward for all of your hard work, Booth, for the sacrifices you've made and for how much you've contributed to truly fight crime in this country. And it's a wise decision to leave the field. While it goes against your alpha-male nature, which loves the thrill of the hunt, the fact that you're willing to take such a different road speaks of how much you love your… family", she finished.

"Thanks, Bones. But I don't really understand why we're discussing this right now. I know it is a huge change, but at least it could have waited after I returned", he said, concerned as he realized she hadn't meet his eyes during their conversation.

"No, Booth. That's what I wanted to tell you. Considering that from the moment you take that post our partnership will be over, I made some decisions of my own", she said, hoping her eyes didn't betray the intense onslaught of emotions she was feeling, she steeled her spine, "I decided to accept a new job", she said, and took a sip of the bubbly liquid, hoping the motion would help her find her feet and hide how she was trembling, along with giving her the so-called liquid courage she needed.

"Bones, are you leaving the Jeffersonian?", he said, his eyes burning with emotion, disbelieving of her words, "It's for a while, isn't it?, You're not leaving for good", he said desperately.

"No, Booth", she said resolutely, "I'm not returning. This time, my leaving will be final. When you return from your honeymoon… I won't be here anymore", she finished, unable to stare into his hurt eyes.

She sighed deeply as she sensed his distress, "Booth, I don't mean to ruin this night for you, I truly don't, but I guess it would have hurt… more if you heard it from someone else", he couldn't argue with her logic, "You deserved to heart this from me, as I respect our partnership too much to hide it, and I would have never subjected you to come back and finding me gone without a proper explanation", and what she was doing wasn't lost on him. While he had kept all the changes he was about to make to himself, knowing they affected her as well, as he removed himself from her life as his partner, she had opened to him and told him the truth.

"When?", he asked weakly, seeing she wouldn't change her mind, no matter what, feeling the pain on his chest like a physical blow.

"Next week", she replied, her eyes lost into the scenery, the moonlight caressing the small waves of the lake with its soft, silvery shine.

"So soon?", he asked, and she simply nodded, still not meeting his eyes, "Where?", he asked, hoping his voice didn't shake at the prospect of a life without her. He knew it was unfair, but the thought of not seeing her brought a pain to his chest he couldn't dismiss.

"Rome", she said.

"As in Italy, Rome?", he replied astounded, and she nodded once more.

"Wow. Bones, I know you think everything through, but… Are you sure? Italy is so… far from here", he said. The pleading quality to his voice wasn't lost on her.

"Yes, it's far, and yes, I'm more than certain", she took another sip of her wine, "This doesn't mean you won't see me again, Booth. I'll visit maybe once a year, even twice. You'll be so caught up in your life you won't even have the chance to miss me", she said, her voice shaking a little. _If you still care enough to miss me._

"How can you say that? You're… you're the lynchpin, Bones. Of course we'd miss you. Who's going to teach the squinterns about the real hardcore science? Parker will miss you, and the little one… He won't get to know his aunt Tempe", he said, pleadingly, feeling her slip from his fingertips like water.

"Booth, while I appreciate your efforts to convince me to stay, I'm certain that in time, you'll be working beautifully around the new dynamics these changes will bring. And I need this. I truly do", _to be away from you so I don't die each time I see how happy you are with someone else, _her mind added, _to heal from this so I can keep breathing._

For a second, he read the bitterness and the stiffness of her posture, "Bones… I don't know why, but I feel like… I should be apologizing. I've been so caught up in this maelstrom… I know I haven't been a good friend lately", he pleaded.

"Booth…", she inhaled, while shaking her head, "It's touching that you feel there's a need for you to apologize, but… You all have your lives. You're living your dreams. And I… I need to find… new dreams, for me", she said softly, not wanting to say anything that would give her away.

"Don't… Aren't we enough? We love you, Bones", he said, fighting the urge to shake her and make her see sense, "We're your family".

"I know you all… love me. But I told you once, change is inevitable. It makes us uncomfortable at first, and our first instinct is to fight against, but eventually, if we don't allow ourselves the chance to evolve, we fade", she said, caressing the rim of her glass with a finger absentmindedly.

He straightened his shoulders, and his voice came out deep, and husky, "I thought you said… You couldn't change", her eyes finally met his, and for a few seconds, she allowed him to see the heartbreak she had been hiding all these months.

"I guess… I was denying the pull change had created in me back then. Something I was able to fully realize when I went to Maluku. Back there, I was able to see I wasn't the same person you met at first, but that the implications of the changes in me were the ones to unsettle me, and make me doubtful. Ever… Ever since my parents left, I don't do well with change. I guess Dr. Temperance Brennan had to be proven wrong, right?", she said.

He took a step closer to her, and longingly said, "Bones…", whatever he had been about to say died on his lips as a cheery voice interrupted him.

"There you are!", Hannah walked quickly to them, "Now, Tempe, don't go stealing my husband", Hannah teased, hooking her arms through Booth's, for once, his posture faltering slightly, hating that their time had literally come to an end, in all senses of the word.

"Would never think of it. Actually, I was informing _your husband", _she remarked pointedly, "That when you return, and given his new post at the Bureau, you won't find me here".

Hannah gasped, "You're so sneaky. I never knew!", she said, her nomad nature making her curious at the anthropologist's new endeavor, eyes sparkling at the thought of their friend going on an exciting dig.

"I made sure no one did. I informed Cam yesterday. Angela and Jack still don't know. I've already arranged a dinner at my place to let them know", Hannah nodded.

"Where are you going?", she asked excitedly.

"Rome", Temperance replied.

"Beautiful city. Handsome men", Hannah teased, and Booth's grumbled, "Hannah…", made her laugh, oblivious to the scene she had interrupted, and fortunately misreading the real reason behind her new husband's discomfort.

Booth could only think, _2 more minutes…God, what would have happened? What would we have said?, _and then another voice, one that sounded very much like Cam's, added, "_What did you expect would happen? You cracked the shell open, and you let it to rot"._

"Well, the only way we'll forgive you for dishing this news today is…", she said, letting the words hang in the air, teasing them both.

"What, Hannah?", Temperance replied, tiredly.

"That you promise you'll return for our baby's birth. I asked Seeley this, and he agrees. We… would be honored if you were the baby's… godmother", Temperance gasped at the request.

"I'm… flattered", she said shakily, "But I'm not certain I'm fit for that role. I… don't share many of your beliefs", she said, "I wouldn't be the appropriate choice".

"Tempe. There's not a person we trust more than you. And being a godmother… It's about that. About receiving the trust the new parents put on you, and answering when they call for help", Hannah said happily, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

"But I won't even be in DC", she replied, trying to find something to hold on to. She was desperately trying to sever all bonds between them, and they were definitely making it harder to accomplish.

"Doesn't matter. That's why web cams were invited. And I have the nagging suspicion that you will return sooner than you think. You'll miss us too much", Temperance raised glassy eyes to them, which she hoped they saw as simply getting emotional over their request.

"Seeley", Hannah laughed, "You're letting me do all the talking. Convince her!", she pressed, nudging his bicep.

"Bones", he said, swallowing a bit, "It would mean a lot, if you returned for the birth, and… there's no one else I would want for my son or daughter's godmother", his brown eyes were pleading to her, telling her, _please, don't punish me like this. I´ll know you've forgiven me if you say yes._

Unable to deny him nothing, and unable to use something as important as this to prove a point, going against her better judgment, she let out a sigh, and relented with a tired, "Ok".

Hannah shrieked, and hugged her, "Oh, Tempe. Thank you!", she returned the hug awkwardly, seeing Booth behind her.

When Hannah released her, he made his way, and just reached out for her hand, squeezing it, knowing that a hug would be more than they would be able to handle at this moment, "Bones, you'll never know how much it means to me", he swallowed, "_To us", _he amended, "Thank you".

"Don't thank me. Isn't this what partners do?", he nodded.

"Yes, Bones. It is what partners do", he said, unable to let go, until he felt Hannah pulling at his bicep.

"Come on, Seeley, how rude it would be of us if we left our own party?", she said, staring into his eyes with love and tenderness, "Let's go!", she tugged him, and he had no choice but to follow her.

But for one moment, he turned his head, and his heart felt like a part of his happiness had forever stayed locked in a pond of the deepest blue.

B&B&B&B&B&B&B&B&B

When light engulfed her again, she realized she was crying uncontrollably. She dabbed at her cheeks, and placed a hand against her thundering heart, which was beating painfully.

"I don't want to see anymore", she pleaded to the ether, "Please, don't make me. I… I can't take it. I beg you". She was starting to understand. While she had those peaks into the future, she would forget completely that she was being shown a reality that was being shaped, but still didn't exist, and she would therefore have to embrace the situations, as her conscience of this fact was lost. She could now see that it was the only way to fully grasp the consequences of her choices, and Booth's as well.

"You need to", a voice said, and suddenly, she felt something warm on her forehead, something… sweet and tender.

"What…?", she said, touching it with her fingers.

"Don't you know?", the voice replied, "You already have the answer to that question. Close your eyes and focus, honey", Christine said.

She did, and in a second, she knew. _Booth. _Her eyes leaked more tears at the thought of knowing he was with her, taking care of her, not letting her be alone, at how hurt he must be seeing her so broken, and blaming himself for it.

"Please, I need to wake. Can't you see how much this is killing him?", at first, somehow she could sense raw pain around her that didn't come from her, like the bond that had stubbornly refused to die was telling her it was his despair, his distress, she was feeling.

But then, when her mind focused on him, she could see him clearly, and her heart broke for him. He was bent over her, kissing her forehead, and dabbing at her cheeks, with an agonized look on his face she had never seen, whispering to her, vowing to be with her, pleading her not to fear anything.

"Please… Don't do this. Let me go back to him", she pleaded.

"Honey, you'll wake when you're ready to wake. Remember, this is your mind, your world. How long it takes you to leave is up to you. But you must realize, this lesson is for him too, Temperance. Let the comfort you feel of knowing he's with you accompany you through the rest of your journey", for a few moments, she let that feeling wash over her, giving her a bit of strength for the ride ahead, for she knew it would be the hardest to witness.

She felt she was being pulled to another place, and again everything was white.

B&B&B&B&B&B

_ICU room_

In her room, Booth had been tenderly drying her cheeks.

His heart hurt more and more as she saw no signs of her condition changing for the better. He couldn't believe it when he saw her begin to frown, but his pulse shoot through the roof when he saw her skin start to glisten with perspiration and a tear leak from the corner of her eyes.

He instantly went to wipe it, only to realize more and more tears were leaving from behind her closed eyelids. He raised his eyes, and saw her pulse had increased quite a bit.

In that instant, a nurse chose to enter, and noticed the distress on his face, "Mr. Booth, is everything ok?"

He found his voice and replied, "She's… she's crying, and sweating", he said desperately, and the woman smiled indulgently at him.

"It happens sometimes. During comma dreams, people have very vivid dreams", she stated, while she started checking her vitals and IVs, finding nothing wrong, apart from her increased blood pressure.

"But if she's crying, she must be dreaming something awful", he said brokenly, and the woman nodded while she finished.

"She's not running a temperature, and her vitals are as normal as they can be, thankfully. It might be only her agitation. I would advise you to look at the bright side of it. It's painful to see, I know that you feel helpless to realize you can't wake her and make her snap out of it, and stop her pain. But at least, if you see the positive aspect, if she's dreaming, then it is possible that her brain is engaging, and working its way back to us", Booth looked at the nurse, and pondered her words.

It was true. If she was dreaming, her brain was trying to work around the damage, and he sighed deeply before showing the nurse he understood.

She silently exited, and when he was again alone, he bent to kiss her temple, right where the skin was damp with tears. "Bones, whatever you're dreaming on, I'm right there with you. Don't fear, you're not alone. Never again", he whispered against her ear, and he could have sworn that again, the frown had eased the tiniest bit.

**Still a long way to go until they all learn their lessons… never forget my motto… Keep the faith!**


	8. Chapter 7

**Any mistakes are mine. Characters obviously don't. you know what I would do to them if they were (rubs hands evilly)!**

_Bren's dream world_

She opened her eyes, and cleared her vision, as she let her mind catch up with the reality. She was sitting in a first-class seat on the plane that was taking her back after months of being away, after months of struggling to cope with her grief and heartbreak. Looking at the fluffy clouds outside her window, she released a tired sigh, her eyes lost in the beauty of the blue sky. As she stretched her muscles, she couldn't deny that the exhaustion she felt didn't come from the long trip, or even from her hectic schedule, which was even busier than before.

It was a degree of exhaustion so deep it was etched in her bones, and it couldn't be washed away, no matter how much she slept or rested, or at least tried to.

She knew it was foolish to return, and that no one in their right mind would subject themselves to even more heartbreak, but she wouldn't do what he had done. She wouldn't break a promise. That is why she was back, because she would, at the very least, live her life with a clear conscience. The only thing she wanted was for things to be over. She had been thinking of how to approach the subject of her refusal with the new parents when she met them in person, since she had been unable to talk to them, and dealing with something so important to them it seemed petty to do it over the phone.

In her heart, she knew she would never be able to stand the idea of being so close to him, _tied to him, _knowing how important her upcoming role in his child's life would be to him, considering his Catholic beliefs, and not being able to open her heart, to let him see how deep and everlasting her love for him was. The day she stepped on the plane that took her away from DC, she had thrown the key to her heart in the middle of the Atlantic. If people thought her cold now, how she was now was only comparable to the North Pole. _Permafrost _was the word she had overheard from one of her interns when they thought she was outside hearing range. That didn't mean she was rude or uncaring. On the contrary, she was even more considerate, kinder and more understanding, but she always kept her heart carefully closed whenever someone tried to breach her rebuilt walls: she was smart enough to accept that while she wouldn't be able to open herself again, at least the pain had diminished to a numbness she would be able to deal with so that she could continue living.

She knew she was looking thinner and sharper than ever, a fact even more noticeable with her black silky pants and matching turtleneck. As she got lost in the skies than changed from a deep blue to the gray winter hue of DC, which seemed to be mocking her falling mood as she approached her next battle, only the sound of the stewardess through the speakers broke her inner ramblings,

… _as we are beginning our final descent to Dulles International Airport. Please put your seats in the upright position and keep the tray safely locked on the seat before you. All electronic devices…_

She closed her eyes and breathed in heavily for a few moments. Whoever took a look at her might think she was scared or nervous at the prospect of the landing, a callous thought since she had travelled so much, planes were virtually a home to her. Her frantic nerves were caused by what she knew was expecting her. She missed them all, but being so close to them, being faced with the life she would never have, a man to love her, children… She never regretted her decision to leave, even if it was laced with the irony of being both the hardest and the easiest choice she had ever made: hardest because she would never be able to stop loving them, _him, _and the easiest as she knew it was the only way to protect what was left of her broken soul. A machinery would work perfectly unless one of its pieces was faulty, and she continued to feel like she was a faulty piece that could throw their perfect balance off-course.

After making a swift landing and thanking the stewardess, and making her way through customs, she slowly walked towards baggage claim; the truth was that she wasn't in a hurry to get anywhere, and neither did she wish to rush the moment when she would have to meet her friends after months of being apart. She was watching the bags travel slowly across the band when she felt a pair of arms engulf her from behind, startling her momentarily.

"Sweetie!", Angela shrieked, and after recovering from her surprise, she turned around to return the hug wholeheartedly, feeling a small bump between them.

"Ange!", she smiled at her friend, "I thought you would wait until Michael was 2?", she teased, while Jack smiled at the woman and hugged her as well after retrieving her suitcase from the band, letting them have their moment before he intruded.

"The baby bug was in the lab, and we couldn't resist", Angela said, making them all laugh, as she watched her husband embrace her best friend eagerly.

"Dr. B. You're looking good!", he said, though he had already felt her tiny frame through the thick clothes she had put on to greet the winter in DC, his kind smile warming her insides.

"Thank you, Jack, and congratulations", she said, "How's my godson?", she asked, as the three made their way to the parking space, Jack taking her suitcase with him.

"Bren, he's amazing! He says `bah´, which means bottle, and he's even standing without help!", Angela said excitedly as they got in the car as she talked about her son's accomplishments .

She could only smile at the pride of her friends, "You must be so pleased", Jack nodded, his blue eyes sparkling at the thought of his beautiful baby boy, "But it's no wonder, as you're both incredibly smart people, with both your genes, it was bound to happen", both parents beamed, aware at the love the anthropologist had for their son.

She braced herself before asking, "How's… Booth?", she knew that if she wanted to appear normal, she had to inquire about her former partner's wellbeing, given he was the reason behind her return.

Angela took it upon herself to reply, "Don't tell me I told you this, but he was crying when he showed us the baby. He was so emotional. We bribed the doctors, and they let him be with Hannah all the time, inside the delivery room, so he was there when the baby was born. He's gorgeous, Bren. A Booth through and through", she smiled at her friend, giving her all the information she needed.

"It's understandable that he feels so elated. Booth always longed for more children, so it's only natural he was so moved by being able to experience it all, Rebecca truly didn't let him share many of Parker's first moments due to the sourness that existed between them at that time", she stated, and both her friends nodded.

Jack added, "And Angie's right. He's freakily handosome, and I only hope this little angel", he said, reaching to rub his wife's tummy as she sat in the passenger seat, "is another a boy, only because I know she will fall victim to his charms if she's a girl. All the nurses are fussing over him already. The little guy is truly amazing", Jack said, clearly overjoyed at his friend's newfound happiness, sharing in the delight of repeating the experience of impending fatherhood.

Temperance only smiled and nodded, her heart tugging at the information, her eyes taking in all the spots she had missed for so many months. She never imagined that coming back would indeed be so bittersweet. And it wasn't like she didn't know what they were talking about, since Hannah had been sending her regular updates of her growing belly, along with details of how their marriage was developing claiming "if you can't be here at least I'll make sure you'll feel like you are". She had responded gracefully, like she was supposed to. But there had been one photo that had been particularly heartbreaking for her. It was of them leaning against a huge tree, she recognized at Hodgins' place, enjoying the last days of fall, Hannah's back was against the trunk while Booth rested his head on her lap and against her large bump, his large hands covering the expanse of milky skin while he held the fabric of her blouse open, his mouth pressed against her taut skin, seemingly speaking to his unborn baby. The image was simply idyllic, and she could see the love pouring out from him towards his child and wife, even through the computer screen. When Hannah sent it, she explained that it had been Angela who took the picture, and given her the digital file, knowing how much they would love it. She had also put there that she hated that she had been unable to share this process with them, but that she wanted her to have the images of the little mementos they were going through, "_my baby's godmother has to see this", _she had added.

She had cried for 2 days after she received it, thinking of the life she would never have, her womb feeling empty and completely dry, devoid of life.

Booth had written to her several times, but most of the times he only talked about how the baby was progressing, or told her stories about Parker, and how he missed his "Dr. Bones", or how well he had been doing in science, keeping his messages friendly and aloof. His only emotional communication had reached her 1 week ago, where he begged her to return for his son's birth.

_Bones, _it had said, _you continue to be my best friend, no matter what. I miss you. I know we're on different pathways, but… I would like to think you still think of me this way, but I do. I also know you felt you had no reasons to come back, that I stopped being a friend or taking the time to be truly your partner, as I always was, as I vowed I would always be. If, for some miracle, you still think I deserve your forgiveness, you could prove it and ease my fears of being the worst friend and partner by coming here and being with us when the baby is born._

_We'll baptize the baby 2 weeks after he's born, when Hannah is back on her feet. I'm begging you, consider spending those 2 weeks with us, and…_

_Just come. Bones. For all the years we shared together. For what being partners meant to you._

_Booth_

_P.S.: I'm not above groveling._

She knew it would hurt going back, but if she knew him, she knew he was doubting she had ever forgiven him, after their little talk at the wedding, where so many things had been left unspoken, but clearly hinted: they had both known what they were keeping silent, for both their peace of mind. She even considered that perhaps, he only thought she had gone away because she felt she had no one while everyone had someone, because no one had time for her, and she had found herself alone and deserted by her friends.

_If he had truly known what he was asking of her._

During her time away, she had finally understood the true meaning of love. She knew loving booth hurt, but it didn't mean she would make herself hate him to forget about him. It meant that she loved him enough to accept the pain that came with it, that she would make this heartbreaking sacrifices for his sake, because his happiness meant that much to her. It meant that she would do anything to add to that happiness, if she could.

She was lost in the beauty of a snow-covered DC, the lights blinking, the whole city engulfed in the Christmas spirit. Rome was more than beautiful, but there was something comforting in being back, and though she could no longer say "back home", she had always known a piece of her had stayed behind.

Before she knew it, they had reached the hospital's parking lot.

"I thought that at this time of night, visiting hours would be over, and that we would come tomorrow", she said as she noticed where they were, when Jack put the car in park, confused at their presence there, so far away she had been that she hadn't noticed they were at the hospital and not at their place.

"Yes, they are", Angela said, unbuckling her seat belt, she automatically mirroring their actions while she listened to their explanation, "But since Booth is the new flavor at the FBI, and he continues to use his charm smile and newfound power to his advantage, he managed to bribe the nurses into letting you visit, saying how important it was for everyone that the world-famous Dr. Temperance Brennan had come all the way from Europe, even stopping her world-changing discoveries, only to get to know his little boy and act as his godmother. Let it be said, all the nurses melted, and didn't even put up a fight when he pleaded his case", Angela teased as they reached the hospital doors.

She followed them through long hallways, rubbing her temple while the elevator took them to the maternity ward. She was truly exhausted, but she ordered her face muscles not to betray her emotional state to anyone.

They walked towards the desk, and when the nurse saw her, she "Oh, my God. It's truly you!", she said, unable to say more, taking a hand to her chest.

"I guess she truly didn't believe Booth", she said, and Jack laughed, as he waved to the nurses and pointed into Temperance's direction, the nurses nodding their understanding, still speechless and awed. It was no wonder, since her last book had been an even greater success than the previous ones. Angela had told her it was because it compelled so much emotion between the main characters, and how heartbrokenly yet amazingly put she had finally given the story of Kathy and Andy an end: in a very surprising twist, she had killed Kathy off while she protected Andy from the bullet of a serial killer. The reviews indeed had been amazing, and many fans had approached her through her publisher to tell her that while it was terrible to see the series come to an end, the way she had made them all feel their love would remain despite her death was genius. She had thought about it a thousand times while sitting in her villa's patio, looking at the sunset, knowing she didn't have it in her heart to continue with the romance between the characters, given she had lost her only source of inspiration. It had been kind of fortuitous, since according to her contract with her publisher, this indeed could be her last book.

Writing it had been cathartic, and it had helped her exorcise her "demons". She could understand why her readers had claimed the book was heartbreaking, she had shed countless tears writing it, letting all of her pain flow through her fingers onto the keyboard, putting all her despair into her characters' words and actions. In that last book, Andy had finally given up on her, finding a new love interest after she had wrongfully assumed their sexual relationship would always be enough for him, and accepting a new job when he got too close to threatening the stability of her emotions. The pain of their separation had mingled with a hunt for a serial killer that she had created, a mixture of Gormogon and the Gravedigger, thus making both areas of her book, the crime and the romance, a success. In the end, Kathy had saved Andy, giving her life in the process, finally confessing to him that she had always loved him but that she had always feared she wouldn't be enough for him while she bled out from a stab wound in her upper chest.

If Booth had read it, she didn't know, but she kind of didn't want him to. Only he would recognize the subtle references to their own situation, and how much they had lost each other.

For the first time, her dedication page hadn't been aimed towards anyone, but it was a single phrase, "_To_ _Love, which is so much like energy. It never fades, it only changes form, and while many would rather not to give in to the pain of the experience, it makes life a road worth living. To every human soul whose wings have been burned by it"._

"It's this way", Angela said, interrupting her thoughts, "We'll wait outside. This is for you", she smiled softly, "I'm truly glad you're back, Bren", Angela squeezed her hand softly and they shared a moment before Brennan went to the door.

She knocked softly, "Come in", she heard his voice. She hated herself, she hated her body for reacting so acutely to him, even after so much time apart.

She opened the door slowly, and her heart tugged painfully at the scene. Hannah had the shoulder of her hospital gown down as she rested against the headboard, cradling the baby as he latched hungrily to her breast, making little sucking noises as his little hands grasped both of his parents' fingers. Booth was sitting right beside her, his arm wrapped around her waist, looking at his little boy like there was nobody else in the world, his eyes shining with love and awe, like any proud father would be.

"Hey", she said, and they both raised their heads, smiling beamingly when they realized it was her.

"Temperance, you made it!", Hannah said softly, smiling when the baby made a soft grunting noise at being disturbed, making her rub his dark, soft hair soothingly.

"Bones!", he smiled, and she saw him struggling between the desire to continue holding his family and wanting to hug her after so many months apart.

She halted his advances, raising a hand in the air, "Don't worry. Stay where you are", she smiled politely at the couple.

"Please, sit!", Hannah said. Apart from the pullout couch where she knew Booth would probably spend the night, guarding his family, there was a chair next to the bed, "Come closer, so you can take a look at our little angel", Hannah added cheerfully.

She complied and sat, a smile swimming on her lips as she said, "How are you feeling? You told me you wanted to give birth naturally, and by your tired complexion, I assess you went through with it. Natural childbirth can be very strenuous", Hannah and Booth smiled at her.

"I know, I look terrible", Hannah said, smiling, "and yes, indeed I gave birth naturally. 14 hours it took! But I wouldn't trade it for the world. When I held him in my arms for the first time… I forgot all about the pain", she said, caressing the baby's soft face, who released her nipple with a pop, clearly satisfied and content.

"Seeley, would you…?", he reached out, and took the baby from her without any further words, "Come here, little guy", he said, holding the baby to his chest, making cooing sounds as he patted his back gently while rocking him, waiting for Hannah to make herself presentable.

They heard the baby release a tiny burp that made them all smile, as Booth continued rocking him softly, "You're going to tire Mommy out with your big appetite", he teased, and the baby cooed happily to his father, making Booth kiss his temple tenderly, making Brennan's heart ache, imagining how it would have felt if it had been _their child _he was carrying now. Would he be as content? Would he look as pleased and overjoyed? She would never know.

"Temperance, thank you for coming. Seeley thought you wouldn't get here in time, but I knew you would never fail us", Hannah said, and she nodded, trying to find a way to keep the smile on her face, but actually letting herself be happy for them, knowing his happiness would have to be hers for now.

"I had promised I'd be here, and I never break a promise", she said, making Booth pause for a nanosecond as his heart gave a painful tug, knowing she didn't mean to make him feel bad, but as she stated the fact, he was unable to deny he had broken every single promise he had ever made to her, and yet here she was, ready to stand by his side, because _they had asked_.

"Well, I'm glad for that. As Seeley already told you in the last email we sent, we will baptize the baby right after the New Year, when I'm feeling better and can stand without feeling so much pain. Seeley, is he asleep?", Hannah asked, and after checking, he replied, "Now, he's just… playing around", Booth said smiling at his little boy.

"Well, no one has held him, apart from me, and Seeley of course, and his big brother. We… We wanted you to be the first one to hold him, after us, since you're his godmother, you deserve the honor", Hannah said determinedly, "Seeley, please, pass Temperance the baby", he silently made his way, and carefully transferred the baby into her arms. She took him with surprising ease, marveled at his perfect beauty.

Angela hadn't exaggerated. The baby was indeed the perfect copy of his father. She rocked him a bit. His mouth was shaped into the most perfect cupid bow, and she could see Booth in every cell of him. She reached out to caress his forehead softly, and felt the silky texture of his perfect skin.

"Temperance, meet Henry Seeley Booth", Hannah said proudly, "Or, as we prefer, little Hank", Temperance stared into his tiny face.

"Hank… he must be so proud", she said, her eyes unable to leave the tiny face, completely enamored with the little guy, her chest tight as she realized she could have had this if her fear hadn't overpowered her heart.

"Yeah. Jared picked him up, and he's staying with them, of course, under heavy supervision of Jared and Padmé. He was so emotional!", Hannah said excitedly, "He'll be coming tomorrow as he was a bit tired".

Temperance tenderly took the baby's hand, his tiny fingers curling around hers, and she felt a surge of warmth flow through her, along with another wave of the pain that always came when it was something related to Seeley Booth, and their missed chances.

"You must be so proud. I can tell you, he'll look just like Booth when he's older. His bone structure", she said, tracing the baby's features tenderly, "Tells me so. Sorry, Hannah, but there's not much of you in here", she said, thinking perhaps she would be offended by her blunt statement.

Hannah chuckled, "I couldn't be prouder, and yes, I told Seeley our Hank was just like him, but he didn't want to believe it. Now I'm sure he does, don't you, honey?", he smiled sheepishly.

"I would never doubt Bones, on anything", he said, and she raised her eyes to find his for a brief second, but lowered them instantly to continue gazing at the baby safely cradled against her chest.

The baby yawned and stretched, and surprised them all as he opened his eyes and stared into her face, for the first time, showing them he had the exact shade of brown of his father's eyes.

"Seeley, he opened his eyes!", Hannah said, her eyes pooling with happy tears, Booth going to Bones' side excitedly, confirming.

"Yes, he finally did! Stubborn little thing. He didn't open his eyes all day, no matter how much we begged", he said lovingly, seeing his son's stare fixed on the blue eyes of his former partner, "I guess he was waiting for his Aunt Bones, weren't you, buddy?", he said, rubbing the baby's foot.

Her heart broke as she found herself reduced to just an aunt, as she realized again this precious miracle could have been hers, not Hannah's.

"Well", she said, motioning to Booth to take the baby again, "You both should be proud. He's a beautiful baby", Booth smiled as he rocked the baby against his chest as he fussed a bit at being disturbed from his comfortable position.

"Thank you, Bones, for saying that and for being here. You must be tired…", he said, seeing the dark circles under her eyes. If he had only known how long they had been there, "… From the long journey here. Why don't you go home to rest and come back tomorrow morning? Parker will be here, and he'll be excited to see you finally returned. He was very excited to know that his Dr. Bones was coming back to visit", she was glad Booth had given her an opening to exit.

"Yes. In fact, I find myself drained from the long travel. I'll go with Angela and Jack, to their place, since I no longer have an apartment here, and I'll see you tomorrow so you can also rest, since this day must have been quite strenuous on you. Again congratulations, to the both of you", she said with a soft smile, and turned on her heels to leave, hoping her legs would support her until she could hide from the world.

"Bones…?", he said, and she sighed before turning to face him.

"Good to have you back", he said, and she shook her head smiling politely at him, unable to tell them returning had just served to reopen wounds that she knew were still oozing.

But she knew he needed the lie to be able to sleep at night, she could see the guilt hidden in the deepest recess of his dark gaze, "It's good to be back, Booth", she said, and with a small nod, she turned on her heels and left.

Angela and Jack were waiting for her, and as she exited the room, she saw the calm peace of her friend comfortably perched against her husband's frame as he rubbed her belly.

"I'm ready to go", she said, and with a smile, the couple stood and walking right next to her, the three people exited the hospital.

The Christmas festivities had been, no surprise there, all about the new baby, and the general excitement at each small progress he seemingly made. She only smiled and went with everything they said, too tired to even go into anthropological explanations or dismissing their assessments, unable to stop herself from being enamored with the beautiful child. Before she knew it, it had been almost 2 weeks since her return and it was the day they would baptize Hank.

She put on a beautiful dark grey dress that went to her knees. The fabric was incredibly thick and soft, but it outlined her beautiful figure to perfection; it had a line of buttons from her neck to the end of the skirt, with a hint of a Nehru jacket on the neck, but the skirt opened gracefully, with a 60´s look to it. She kept her makeup light even if her eyes had a smoky look that brought out the blue, and her black pumps. She arranged her hair in a messy bun at the nape of her neck, and as she was applying the finishing touches, she felt a knock on the door.

Angela peeked inside, "Are you presentable, sweetie?", she replied, "When am I not?", Angela smiled at the reply, and entered the guest room they had prepared for her.

The artist sat on the edge of the bed, and looked at her through the mirror of the vanity, "Sweetie, I hate to say this, for what it means to us, but the airs of the Mediterranean have done wonders on you", she said teasingly, "Any hot guys you haven't told me about in your emails? You know I get angry when I don't get details", she said.

"No hot guys, Ange", she said as she tied the knot around her waist tighter, not wanting to touch that subject and explain why she had given up on any ideas of love or intimacy, for good. Not even the perspective of satisfying the cravings of her body seemed appealing. She had actually gone to bed with one of her colleagues, and while pleasurable, the emptiness that followed as she realized that no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't invest her heart again was enough to put her off the idea again.

She felt Angela's scrutinizing gaze on her, "And you're thinner. 7, 10 pounds? Bren, I hope you're eating and this is just the result of some insanely amazing diet", she said worriedly, "We're not there to care for you, honey, and it worries me, though you look beautiful. You always do".

"Ange, I'm taking care of myself, and while I appreciate your concern, you don't need to worry. I'm doing fine", she said, fixing the collar of her dress. She held back a groan. She hadn't truly appreciated before how the dress highlighted how much weight she had lost. Fortunately, her large breasts helped distract the attention from her tinier frame, and disguised how skinny she truly was, though fortunately she didn't look unhealthy or sick, which was a definite plus.

"Anyway, you look beautiful", Angela said, "You truly, truly do", their eyes met over the reflection on the mirror, and Brennan smiled, knowing her friend to know when she was being honest, and not just trying to make her feel better.

"Bren… We miss you", Angela said pleadingly as the woman sat next to her on the bed, "Nothing is the same without you here. I mean, we still kick ass somehow, and Booth pushes Charlie to the limit, who by the way, is the new liaison with the FBI, to continue holding the best track record and learn how to work with us, but… Without you, everything is different. Bren, when are you finally going to drop the nomad lifestyle and return to us?", Angela begged.

"Ange", Temperance started, "I love you. You're my friends, and more loyal than any real family, than my own blood family was, but… I don't think I'll ever return. I'm building a new life, and… it's fulfilling and exciting", she replied, trying to dodge the subject as best as she could without hurting Angela, whose eyes were shimmering at seeing the steely resolve in her eyes, knowing she had made up her mind to never return.

"But are you happy, Bren? Truly happy?", Angela asked worriedly, and Temperance stood to seemingly search for her earrings, only to avoid her friend's inquisitive stare.

"You know I don't believe in everlasting happiness", she said steeling her spine, trying so sound nonchalant and aloof, hiding behind the mask of the Temperance Brennan Angela had once known before Booth came to change it all, "And while for all of you it feels real, and palpable, and I don't mean to dismiss how all of you have found… significant others to build your lives with, you need to understand that some people are meant to go through life without those things, and still find contentment", she replied while she made sure her earrings were dangling correctly.

"Bren… Why do I feel all of that is pure bullshit?", she said, but there was no ire behind her words, just sadness and disappointment at seeing her best friend retreating to the cold shell that was her heart before they all came into her life.

Temperance turned on her heels, and looked at her friend, giving her a stern, yet soft stare, not meaning to hurt her, but to show her there was no point in the discussion, "Because you want it to be a lie, so you can have me back, so we can all have the lives we were leading before everything changed. Because you're a good friend, and a kind person, and the idea that I might be unhappy in any way pains you. But rest assured, Angela. Things are the way they're supposed to be. Everyone is happy, and that is enough for me", she finished.

"But, are you?", Angela prodded, unable to leave without an answer, her heart hurting deeply for her friend, suspecting, for probably the first time, there was more than what she had told them behind her leaving, and beating herself up for not seeing it before, "You're going to end up so lonely", she said sadly, and Temperance flinched, but didn't react to her words, painfully aware they were not a notion for the distant future; they described her present life.

"I have the life I expected, and that's all I want", and when Angela realized she wouldn't get more from the anthropologist, she gave up, hoping it wasn't all a charade to prevent them from seeing the extent of her pain.

Looking at her wristwatch pointedly, Temperance said, "They must be waiting for us at the church. It would be unfitting of me to be late, so we need to leave", Angela nodded, and without saying a single word, the women exited.

And that is how life went for her after becoming Henry Seeley Booth's godmother. Of course, the satellite conversations were frequent, due to her sense of obligation towards the child, and the love she felt for him, perhaps because it was her only link to the man she loved.

Then, she traveled, for his birthday every year, which meant she stayed for 3 weeks, since it overlapped with the Christmas celebrations, and they wouldn't let her leave as fast as she would have wanted, unknowingly submitting her to the bittersweet pain of their attentions.

When Angela's new baby was born, which was, as Jack had dreaded, a beautiful baby girl, she returned, and also became godmother to Kimberly Hodgins-Montenegro, her second reason to visit the States, an event that now came twice a year: her love for those kids was so great she was even able to stand the crushing weight of dealing with all she had lost before her.

It continued to be bittersweet, coming back to see them all, and they were all so engrossed in their families that conversation revolved around them, sharing moments and parenting advice, making her feel like a stranger, steeling her resolve to never return. And indeed she never stayed longer than she needed to, despite their pleas.

Max had moved to Italy, his father's intuition telling him how lonely his daughter was, and she couldn't be more thankful to have him with her, giving her his love and becoming a delightful company. It gave her peace and somehow filled her loneliness. All the time they spend together served to strengthen their bond, to find their way to forgiveness and mend their relationship for good. Her newfound closeness with her father was the only thing she could look forward to in her lonely life, and it was the perfect example of finding something good amidst the bad.

They shared 15 wonderful years together, until he died peacefully in his sleep. She was glad he had left knowing how much she loved him, and that he had decided to give everything up for her. When he had moved in with her, leaving everything behind, she had been reluctant at first, feeling Russ would be hurt, but Max had told her Russ had his family, while he knew she only had him.

She decided to bury him in the States, thanking her financial status and fame for making the travel easier. She had had Max for the last years of his life, and she didn't want to rob Russ of the chance to visit his grave, knowing how much it would mean to him to be able to visit their parents.

The encounter between her and her family had been sad, but there was a sense of finality, of a closed chapter in her life as she stared at the new marble stone that stood proud next to her mother's. She felt a hollow in her chest that no one could fill. Max had been her only consolation and source of joy for the past years, and she knew that without him, all she had would be the empty walls of her villa to accompany her.

She was staring into space, feeling the chilly air of DC creep into her body, chilling her, until a voice broke her out of her reverie, "Still don't believe in talking to the dead, Bones?", she didn't even turn her body, feeling drained and utterly lonely, unable to engage in any kind of emotional conversation, least of all with him.

"I don't need to talk to the dead, Booth. They talk enough to me", was her stiff reply. She needed to guard her walls. There was no one to care for her anymore if she fell, no one to comfort her, to soothe her pain.

"Bones…", he said tenderly, "With Max… gone… you should… why don't you consider returning to the States? No matter how good the team is now, you're the missing piece, and you'll always be", while it felt good to hear him say that, it only added to her pain, "We miss you. _I miss you", _he said clearly hoping his pleading words made her reconsider, but she knew she couldn't deal if she witnessed everything she was missing on day by day, that was why she had left in the first place.

"My life is there, Booth", she said, her eyes fixed on the words she had instructed be written on the stone.

_Max Keenan._

_Husband to Ruth, Widower to Christine._

_Always Father to Russ and Temperance._

"But your family is here", he said as he stared at her. No matter how many years had passed, to him she continued to be the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Not even age or time had put a dent to it. He didn't see the faint lines that now adorned her beautiful skin, her eyes continued to hold the same depth, but he could see they were ridden with the weight of unbearable sadness, a sadness he knew, deep inside, he was greatly responsible of, though he had never consciously admitted it to himself.

"While I always tried to understand the notion of different types of family as you described them to me… I want to go back, Booth. You might think I'm going to go there to wallow in self-pity. And maybe, for a while, I will, as it is my right to grieve for my father, even if rationally I know it's pointless and won't change anything. But I always bounce back. Always. You have your family, Booth. You should go to them", she said sadly, "they need you".

"But you're my family too", he said, and this time, when their eyes met, the heartbreak he had seen so many years ago at his wedding in her blue depths, returned full force, and made him feel unbelievably small and unworthy of someone like her, his conscious mind unable to believe she had ever loved him, the lie he had built to sleep better at night.

"Only in heart, Booth. Only in heart. Hannah is waiting for you, you should go to her", she said, as she saw the elegant figure of Hannah by their car, clearly waiting for her husband to return to her, with a finality in her tone that made it clear she didn't wish to continue talking to him, and that she needed both time _and _space.

He nodded somberly, and his steps felt heavy as he left her, swallowing painfully the tears that he allowed himself for the first time in many years at the thought of her.

What she had never been able to understand, what she had never grasped is the connection that always existed between Henry Seeley and herself. Hannah told her that to him, she was a heroine, a princess, a role model, a paragon he used to measure all women against. When he finished his studies, and excelled both academically and athletically, his parents told him he could choose whatever he wanted for a gift, and he had asked for a trip to Rome to spend a summer with his aunt Temperance.

While surprised, she had embraced the experience, and for almost 4 months, she took him in her care. She was amazed as she was faced with the outstanding similarities he shared with his father: He was just like Booth, but with a passion for knowledge she knew came from her teachings. As he had started growing up, her visits to the States had become more frequent, never extended in length though, but she had always been careful to make clear he and little Kim, along with Parker and Michael were the reason for her to visit, that she would never neglect the responsibilities she had acquired as their godmother.

He was 19 years old, and as handsome as his father, but with an emotional maturity that surpassed his early age, a maturity that was the result of a loving family and a nurturing environment.

One day, as they enjoyed the lazy breeze of the piazza and sipped on some iced tea, out of the blue, he said, "For the longest time, I… I thought my dad was in love with you", she had hidden her surprise well, but her heart had jumped in a way she would always relate to _him, _startled that her own godson was telling her this_._

"Henry", she knew he loved being called Henry by her, and only her. Not even his mom was allowed to call him that. He was Hank to everyone, but to her, "Your Dad loves your mother very much. We've been friends for… almost 30 years, but that's it. People tended to think we were more than partners, since we were so close", she replied, trying to diffuse the situation.

"No, aunt Tempe. It's not that. It's not the stories I hear from aunt Ange, uncle Jack, uncle Wendell or uncle Sweets… It's… sometimes, when we talk about you… There's this shadow of sadness in his eyes… Like the pain of an unattainable dream… And I wonder… What would have happened, if you two had gotten together…", he said, his brown eyes filled with curiosity.

She closed her eyes, and gathered her bearings before she fixed her eyes on his, and replied, "Henry. I know your father never agreed to my leaving the country, as we were such close friends. Besides, my leaving forced many changes for the people I called my family, changes they didn't like at first, but I needed to come here, and find myself. You shouldn't doubt that your Dad loves your mother, deeply. When they married and they told me you were on the way, that's the happiest I ever saw him, well, second to the day when you were born", Henry smiled softly, but his inquiring gaze told her he hadn't bought her explanation.

"Aunt Tempe… did you… ever love him… like that? It's just… You're such a beautiful woman, and I remember you, back when I was a child… Even then, I thought you were the most beautiful woman in the world, even more beautiful than my mom", she smiled adoringly at him, her heart warming at his tender words, "you never married, and… whenever we talk about Dad… there's that same sadness in your eyes, too", he said, giving her a soft, compassionate smile that made her eyes fill with tears, amazed at how this young man had the ability to read her, just like his father could back in the days when there was only _them, _when their world hadn't been shattered by her fear and both their mistakes.

"Your Dad is a remarkable man, Henry. He was easy to love, as a friend. He got his perfect life, his 20, 30, 40, years… And I'm happy he found that with your mother. I found my… purpose in my science, while he found his in his family. He wouldn't have been as happy with me as he has been with your mother. You need to know that. Even if I harbored romantic feelings for him, it doesn't matter now", Henry leaned in, reaching for her hand, his eyes telling her he understood what she didn't want to say, but he could see; that indeed she had loved him, and probably still did, but that she had given up on her happiness so he could find his.

"For the record, I need you to know something, and I would like if this stayed… between us", she nodded at his request, his warm stare easing her worry, "Thank you for giving me a family", she frowned, confused, "One word from you, ONE, and he would have followed you, to the ends of the Earth", her eyes pooled with tears as she shook her head, "Thank you for that. I know you don't believe it, but… I just know it. Here", he patted his chest with his free hand, "And while your rationale might not accept it… I know a man in love. I have never doubted his love for mom, never, but… For him, you were _untouchable_", they shared a sad smile, "And by the way, I know you would have made an amazing mother, I know you would have made him as happy, don't ever doubt it", they hugged, not caring if curious strangers looked at them, smiling at the picture of mother and son they made.

When Hannah called her, and told her he had been diagnosed with terminal brain cancer, and was asking for her, it was the last time she considered taking a plane for him, knowing her battered heart would not be able to endure more pain.

Images of their life together, and the years apart flooded her brain, thinking back on the wasted opportunities, on the pain, on the sacrifices they both had made to reach this point.

As she reached his house, she could see everyone there. Angela, Hodgins, Cam and Paul, their children. There was also Joy, their second child, who ran the minute she saw her aunt Tempe, hugging her and crying softly into her neck as she rubbed her back soothingly.

Henry had only embraced her, telling her everything she needed to know in his silent hug, in those hands that were usually so still and that were now shaking. _This was definitely goodbye._

When she met Hannah, they just embraced. She fought hard not to break down in front of the woman that had stolen him from her, knowing that if she was feeling half of the pain she was dealing with, the poor woman must be dying inside. After sniffling a bit, and sharing a silent moment, Hannah led her to their room, and left them alone just as silently, closing the door behind her, without a single word.

She took a look around the room, filled with a warm feeling. Family. There were photos everywhere, of those momentous occasions she knew he had insisted they keep for eternity, all those moments that reminded him of the better times.

She took a look at him, his eyes fluttering open as he noticed her presence. He was still as strong as she remembered him, his hair a distinguished gray, his body still remarkable for a man his age, though it was clear he had lost considerable weight due to his illness. She knew he had refused chemotherapy or radiation the moment his diagnosis came in, knowing it was a futile attempt to fight a beast that would never go down quietly.

"You came", he rasped out as he opened his eyes and saw her sitting by his side, "I never thought you would", he smiled feebly.

"You know I will always come", she replied, as she laced her hand with his, seeing him weakly reach for hers, her heart crushing at seeing him so exhausted.

"This is the last time I'll ask anything of you. Another painful task to burden you with", he said, and she shook her head, feeling how uncharacteristically cold his hand was, feeling in her skin how life was quickly leaving him.

"Booth, you never were or will ever be a burden to me. You told me once that if I considered you a friend, then I would come. So I'm here", she replied softly, trying to keep her tears at bay.

He smiled sadly, "I didn't want to tell you this before because I didn't want to cause you more grief. The doctors told me there was nothing they could do for me, that it would be pointless. Of course, Hannah was hysterical and wanted them to try something, anything", he said, and she replied, "It's only natural, Booth. You and Hannah have been married for so long, her instinct would be to protect the happiness you've had, and extend it. But I understand your reasoning. Henry told me you refused any treatment when he called", he nodded.

"I didn't want to spend my last days filled with tubes and drugs, sleeping my last days away, under a fog of drugs. I'm used to pain, so it's nothing new. I take something when it's unbearable. Hannah was so angry with me when I signed the DNR…", he said, and saw her eyes filling with tears, his own pooling as well, "But I wanted to die with whatever dignity I can. And if it came to that, I didn't want to burden her with that choice. I wanted to be lucid while I can, to take everything in. Luckily, this time I didn't hallucinate", he teased, and she smiled weakly, remembering the first time he had battled this same enemy, "I didn't want to spend my time hooked up to machines, knowing it's pointless and delaying the inevitable. I don't want that to be the last image my kids have of me".

"I understand what you mean, Booth. And while it's very difficult for everyone to deal with the hopelessness of the situation, I support it entirely, as I would choose the same course of action were I in your situation. But… it's painful nonetheless. I would have never wished this for you. Ever. You deserved more, to die of old age, next to the love of your life", she said, and he squeezed her hand softly.

He sighed, his eyes filled with sadness, "The reason I called you was because… Remember Lauren Eames?", she was startled at the reference, but nodded, "That night, in the rain, you told me the helicopter pilot had been her biggest regret", he started, and she feebly tried to stop him, putting her fingers on his dried lips, "Booth…", she weakly replied, but he tightened his grip on her hand, and kissing her fingertips gently, he pried them off his face and continued talking.

"I know I have no right to do this to you now, but… I can't leave with this on my chest. I've made my pace with God, now I need to make it with you. When I left for Afghanistan", he began, "I was angry. I was so angry at you for rejecting me. Angry at Sweets for pushing me. Angry at myself for giving in and pushing you when I knew, deep inside, you weren't ready. I guess anger was better than surrendering to the pain I was feeling, at least with anger I could function. I knew I had screwed up, and I didn't want to accept that Sweets was right, that we continued punishing each other for every missed moment. But… You need to hear me out, to hear the things that my pride and my pain didn't let me say before", she nodded, unable to stop her tears as he tugged on her hand, silently asking her to sit on the bed so they were closer.

When she was sitting on the mattress, her hand still in his, their eyes locked, he began again, "It was only when I finally cooled off, when I was finally ready to look back on things that I realized how I messed up. I made you think that you were the one to blame, when it was also my fault. I asked you to gamble, to risk the most stable relationship you'd ever had for something intangible, disregarding how you felt about relationships, how much you feared losing the people you loved. It was months after I was married, when the weight of you being gone started to sink in that I realized that I had asked everything of you, and supposedly gave you every reason, but the one you actually needed to hear", he rubbed her knuckles softly, "I never told you I loved you. I forgot that you needed to hear the words, that you would be afraid of the huge risk it would mean for the both of us, but I was too angry, too proud… So proud that when I returned, I rubbed Hannah into your face over and over again, telling myself that it was ok to do so because you didn't care, wanting to turn a blind eye to the pain I knew I was causing you, just because I wanted to validate my decision, because I…", his eyes filled with more tears, "Because I didn't want to risk my heart being broken again. So I saw what I wanted to see, that you were supposedly still the same, that our time apart hadn't changed you, when I knew it had… until that night. I know you thought I didn't care. I was an asshole, I know I broke your heart to salvage what was left of mine", he said, and she shook her head.

"Booth", she said, her own voice thick with emotion, "I… Part of me hoped that you would see that I was being honest, that I was truly… repentant, that I wanted a second chance to do it all over, but at the same time, I also knew you and Hannah were serious, and that you wouldn't leave her just because… because of me, because I was practically asking you to", she lowered her eyes, "But it hurt, because up until that moment… I hoped… I hoped I could be happy, but when the days passed and I didn't hear from you… ", their eyes met, "I knew I had made yet another mistake and decided to give up. Either way, I had lived without love during my teenage years, and my entire adult life, until I met you, and I thought I could do it again. I never regretted being your friend, Booth, never", she said as she noticed the anguish and guilt in his brown eyes, knowing he was blaming himself for her loneliness, "But in truth, it did hurt to be so close to you, and feel like indeed you were shoving Hannah into my face, though I knew your intention wasn't evil. You're only human, and I could only wonder how you felt when you had to see me with all those guys I dated, and how it must have been for you when I was with Sully, with the difference that… I knew you weren't passing time, Booth. I don't want you to blame yourself for anything. I made my choices, and so did you. And I'm happy you had the life you wanted, I truly do. That's why I left, so you didn't have to be faced with my pain and feel responsible for it", she said, her eyes shining.

"I've blamed myself since the moment I said `I do´, Bones. I did love Hannah, I do love her, but… she wasn't you. When Hank was born, part of me could only think that if I had been patient… he could have been ours", the tears started to fall freely down both their faces, "I never realized how much I took for granted that you would always be here. Sure, you always left, but we always knew you would return. But when we talked at my wedding and you told me you had chosen to go, I knew that was it. I knew you would never return, and I knew it was because of me. You have no idea how much it pained me to know that you had no one, that I made you give up on love", he sighed shakily, "While I had the perfect life, I knew you had no one to care for you, to love you like I did… do. When you returned for Henry's birth, you looked so… frail, so thin… I wanted to say so many things… I wanted to ask Hannah to relieve you of that promise, because I knew I was causing you more pain, but… I was selfish, because I wanted to have any bond with you, even if it was through my own son. It's ironic, huh, that I'm the one who gets to die with regrets?"

"Booth", she said brokenly, "I've always known you never set out to hurt me, and you were right in wanting to find your happiness. But I… I never… I never… regretted… my feelings for you. They made me more human, and yes, they caused me a pain I didn't know I would be able to face, but… somehow I survived. I found some sense of peace in my life, and I don't regret leaving, even if I have missed you every single day I've been away. I know that if I had stayed, it would have only brought us pain, it would have destroyed whatever remained of our friendship. I know I'm not easy to deal with, and that I am infuriating, and stubborn, and a complete social disaster, and when I left, I felt that you were at the limit of your patience, I saw how the things that didn't bother you before made you roll your eyes, like… you couldn't stand my shortcomings", she said shyly, not knowing how his heart was breaking at her words.

"Temperance", he said, "I will never forgive myself for making you feel that way, like… you felt you needed to change to be loved. God…", he groaned, "How could I, when I fell in love with you knowing who and how you were, when everything you were made me love you?", he sobbed, "That night, I only wanted to take you in my arms, but I also let my fear destroy us. You, Temperance, were, are, and will always be my biggest regret", she sobbed too at his words, "I told you so many things, but the one I should have, I never did: I loved you, I still do. You were always the standard. You were perfect the way you were, you were perfect to me", he said as he swallowed, "I always ached for you, and while I love my family, there hasn't been a day when I haven't asked myself how my life would have been with you. I never stopped aching for a girl with your eyes, your smile, your beautiful face and mind. I love my kids, they're… everything to me, and Hannah has been more than amazing, but…", he sighed, unable to say more.

There was a heavy silence, his grip strong still on her hand, while their eyes never left the other, "Booth, I don't want you to feel that way. I never held it against you. That is why I removed myself from the equation, to give you the space you needed to build your life without regrets, to be happy without being constantly reminded of those what ifs. Every time I heard about your accomplishments, when I knew you were happy… I felt happy too", she said, not even drying her tears, knowing only more would come, "I wanted you to have a life filled with love, with happiness, with laughter. And you had it. That made everything worthwhile to me. My regret was not being the woman to give you all those things, but Rebecca said it to me once, and I forgot when I should have remembered: if you let the moment pass you by, it goes away to never return. And", she sighed heavily, "You also need to know… I did love you. I… I love you, and that love, while painful, taught me a lot of things. I don't want you thinking that I rejected you because I didn't love you, I rejected you because the thought of making you unhappy was unbearable to me, and I wanted to hold on to you in any way, and if being partners was all I would get to, I was willing to take it. What I didn't realize is how much it would change things", she said sadly, "But I don't regret your happiness, Booth, or the pain I had to go through. That was the only thing that meant anything to me. As long as you were happy, it was all ok".

"Bones…", he said, "Hannah might have had me all these years, but the part of me that was yours… It never faded", she brushed his forehead with her fingers, his eyes closing at the contact, her heart clenching at seeing his ashen complexion, knowing it was perhaps due to the oxygen he wasn't getting.

"I wish it had, Booth. So you didn't have to face this right now", she replied, and he shook his head.

"No, Temperance. Loving you made me a better man. Even after you left, I always thought of you, of what you would say to me if I made a certain choice… I wish I hadn't been so blind, so proud", he said.

"We both were", she replied.

"Do you… do you think you can… forgive me?", he said, his eyes red already from his tears, and she shook her head.

"There's nothing to forgive", they shared one of their moments, everything blurring into the distance as their eyes locked.

"You continue to be so beautiful", he said, and she smiled sadly.

"I find that hard to believe", he shook his head, "No, Bones. You are. In my eyes, you'll always be. I missed your eyes so much", he said, and she noticed how pale he was getting, and how his breathing was slowing down, "I look at you, and I still see the same amazing woman that stole my heart, all those years ago".

She feared this would be the end, and she tried to stand to call them all back in, but he shook his head, reading her intent, "No, Bones. Just stay", he said.

"But Hannah… and the kids…they'll want to be here when…", he shook his head once again, "I already said my goodbyes to them. They had me for all these years… I want my final moments to be with you, as I always dreamed of", he tugged on her hand gently, until she was lying on her side, facing him, his eyes locked on her face.

"Would you sing to me?", he asked, and she tearfully nodded, "ok".

She could literally see the life leaving him steadily, and she started singing to him _Keep on trying, _her voice remarkably steady through her tears.

He smiled gently, and when she was done, she leaned forward to kiss his forehead. He gave her a sad smile, "Even if the Big Guy sends me to Hell for this… would you kiss me, one last time?"

She knew she couldn't refuse him, _them_, this last moment, so she leaned and gave him the most tender, loving, passionate kiss she could, their lips dancing sweetly, both crying when they broke for air.

"Will be waiting for you, Bones", she nodded, "We'll meet there", he moved his head until he was resting on her bicep, their foreheads touching until he smiled softly, and closed his eyes, whispering, "Love you forever", long moments passing without a word, and she noticed his breaths were becoming more ragged and labored, and she knew he was going, "Love you always", she whispered, and it seemed it was all he was waiting for because with that, he smiled one last time and stopped breathing.

Her eyes brimmed with tears, and she held him against her, sobbing lightly as she rocked him gently, feeling his warmth before it began slipping away. She kissed him, "Hope I see you soon, my love. I hope there is truly a heaven so I can see you there".

B&B&B&B&B&B

_ICU room_

In the hospital room, she had been whimpering and when she started crying again, he became desperate. The nurse entered, seemingly she had seen her heart rate was increasing on the monitors, but when she noticed she was dreaming again, she smiled indulgently, seeing the distress on his face, knowing there was nothing to be done.

"Talk to her. Many believe those in commas can still hear us. Tell her things you know she would like to hear, things that could calm her. There's nothing else any of us can do", he nodded, and waited for the woman to leave before speaking.

"Baby, please. Whatever you're dreaming of, please, hear me. I know you can. My love, please, I'm here. I love you so much", he whispered against her skin, "I need you to know that. Bones, don't be afraid, I'm here. I'll never leave", she didn't stop crying, those hot tears leaving her closed eyelids, "Never again".

"Please, God!", he pleaded, "Please, don't let her go through this, she's had enough pain already. If you want, take me, make me suffer, but never her. I beg you", he said, while he kissed her soft skin, "Don't let her pay for my mistakes. Don't take her from me", he cried, hiding his face against her uninjured side.

B&B&B&B

When she was back through the garden, she fell to the floor, sobbing again, this time feeling warmth engulf her. Her mother's arms were around her.

"Mom", she cried against her chest, "I can't, not anymore".

Christine smiled sadly, "I know now you saw how your lives will be if you continue down this road. The pain you'll both carry, even if you consciously take such different paths", her daughter cried uncontrollably, her whole body shaking.

"If what you say it's true and this is my mind showing me what I know, how can I trust that this isn't just what I want to believe? That even if he marries her, a part of him will always love me?", she said, and Christine waited for her to dry her tears.

"You could, and even more when you asked him for a chance and he refused you… But Temperance… one of his most outstanding qualities is being loyal. I already said it, and deep inside, he hasn't given up. He's trying to mend his bruised heart. Now", she said, "You have to go through that road"

"I can't", she said weakly, and Christine said.

"Close your eyes. Feel him. He's right next to you", she did, and started listening to him, to his prayer for God to spare her and take him instead.

Her eyes brimmed with tears, "He's telling me that he loves me, that he's always with me, he's… praying for me", Christine nodded.

"Do you think a man who is just a friend or a partner would offer his own happiness to the God he believes so fiercely in for a woman he doesn't love when he supposedly loves another?", she asked, "Honey, you already know the answer. It's time you go and face the life you could have had, the life that you could live, if you both would just let go of the fear, the anger, the resentment you're holding on to. Go", she said, and Brennan hesitantly walked, her heart thundering in her chest before another light engulfed everything.

**Quite angsty, I know, but don't worry… Next chappie will be Brennan seeing the happy side of the coin… **

**I hope you are still getting the point of the exercise… what it means for Brennan to see what her life could be like depending on her choices…**

**Musie is greedy… Musie loves reviews… Musie needs to know you're still with her… I promise I'll do my best to update sooner, as long as my body allows me too… and musie will definitely write faster if she knows you're still there…**


	9. Chapter 8

**This continues to be both everyone caring about her while she continues to dream in her come.**

**Finally this is the start to the happy side to her dream…**

_ICU room_

His only motion during the night was watching her face, as his hand constantly kept rubbing either her knuckles or her face, letting her feel he was there for her, that she wasn't alone. After her last crying fit, she had entered an eerie calm, and he could have sworn there was the hint of a smile on her face. Her earlier distress had been replaced by a peaceful demeanor that served to calm him just a little, enough to know that at least her dreams weren't torturing her anymore.

He hadn't ever had the chance to observe her for such a long period of time without an interruption, and during the long hours of the night, lost in thought, he could understand with a clear mind why he had fallen for her. It was the paradox of beauty and fierceness, of weakness and strength that had always puzzled him and challenged him.

The nurse had told him her vitals were stable enough now, and that was a reason to celebrate in itself, but he didn't know if he should feel relief or scared he wasn't getting any more reactions from her that reassured him that her beautiful mind was working its way back to him.

He knew he had to go home, he knew he had to talk to Hannah. Now that his blood had stopped boiling in anger, he could accept that he had been harboring unreal expectations from a woman who had done nothing but to tell him the truth from the beginning. Hannah had tried to embrace the family life for his sake, knowing how important it was to him, but he could now see she wasn't ready for the type of lifelong commitment he needed from her. He hadn't been unfair per se, but what hurt him was that he had never lied to her and never hid his expectations or desires from a relationship with her, and somehow she had ignored the importance of it all, or underestimated what he truly wanted from their future together. The fun was amazing, sure, but he couldn't live in the moment forever. He needed to know he had some solid ground to stand on, and it tugged at his heart that he may have lost his chance to perhaps mend his relationship with the woman lying in the bed in front of him, broken and lost because of _him, _for a woman who wasn't really trying to row the same boat he was on. He had always made it crystal clear to Hannah that Parker was and would always be his priority, and any association with him would mean she would be involved in his life as well, that for them to continue together, she would need to bond with his son.

And his mind kept replaying those fateful seconds of the previous day: how Hannah had clearly only thought of her safety, while Bones hadn't hesitate to give her own life so Parker would be spared from harm. People could say he was placing an unfair amount of weight on the shoulders of a woman who had just started to relate to his son, but he had always thought, and that was something that Pops had taught him when referring to relationships and love, that it was an unspoken and rightful assumption that loving someone also meant loving the things the other loved, or at least, you made an effort to grow to love them, _because they mean that much to you. _When he had seen how slowly Hannah had been pulling away from his son, while Bones did the exact opposite was the real eye opener he needed. And it felt like someone had ripped a blindfold he had stubbornly kept around his eyes, _and heart._

He could now see things from what they were.

"Oh, Bones, you have no idea what I would give to turn back the clock and change everything. You didn't deserve this, any of this. You deserved all of me, all of my patience and all of the time I could have given you, but I let my pride in the way. I just…", he ran his free hand through his hair, and stared into her expressionless, but calm face, and continued, "I just hope that whatever it is you're dreaming of, it's no longer painful", he said, caressing a lock of hair away from her face, letting his fingers drink in the softness of her silky skin, "But… I just need you to wake up. Please wake up, my love", he allowed himself the pleasure of calling her that, because it was the truth. She was truly his only love. "Wake up so I can show you how much I do love you, how much I never stopped", he said, and again grew silent, one hand on her forehead, which wasn't as clammy anymore, and on her knuckles, rubbing them softly. He knew perhaps it was wishful thinking, but he could see her body subtly inching its way towards him, as if reaching out. He swore to himself he wouldn't leave her bedside until she was completely recovered.

A throat clearing from the doorstep called his attention and turning around, he discovered Max standing on the doorstep with a sad smile on his face that he tried to reply with a sorrowful smile of his own.

"How did she spend the night, Booth?", Max asked, stepping in, stopping by the foot of the bed.

Booth sighed, and replied, "She was very… jumpy. She…", his throat got tight, "She was crying, dreaming, according to the nurses, but about 3 hours ago, she suddenly stopped, and her vitals improved, and from that point forward, she's been like that", he explained as best as he could, "She's stable, but she hasn't shown any signs that she will wake up soon. I… I don't know, Max. It kills me seeing her like this", he said desperately, and Max went to his side, placing his hand on his shoulder in what was becoming a very common gesture between the men.

"Booth, we have to give her time. We know she doesn't respond well to pressure. If the doctors say she's stable, that's better than having her restless, ok? And… there's something you should know", Booth's brown eyes bore into Max's, knowing the old man was about to say something he probably wouldn't like, but needed to hear either way.

"Booth, I went to your place, to get a sense of how things were with your… girlfriend, and to bring you some clothes, but I changed my mind. Booth… even if I hate to think about what her presence in your life has done to my Tempe… it wasn't good. That woman was a nervous wreck when I went to check on her. You need to talk to her. Even if she made a huge mistake, this isn't you, Booth. And when your mind is clear, you'll beat yourself up for treating her like this, even if right now, part of us can agree with you and admit she kind of… deserves it", Booth knew Max was right, but he had to make things clear.

"Max", he started, "I didn't mean to hurt her. I don't mean to hurt her or to punish her, if that's what you're thinking, but the truth is my brain is incapable of thinking or anything or anyone that isn't Bones. My only concern right now is Bones' welfare, making sure she's ok. I won't leave her", Booth said determinedly.

"And that's very commendable, Booth, but it's not very wise. If you're so intent on changing things and making them right, then you should start by straightening things out with her. If you want a real shot with my daughter, don't you think it would be best that she could find a new world when she wakes?", Max didn't need to explain himself. It was true. That thought had crossed his mind during his vigil. If she woke, the first thing he wanted to do was pledge his love to her, and if he was still involved with Hannah, that thought would be soiled by the idea of him somewhat offering her a future when he was still not free to do so.

"You're right, Max, but I don't want to leave her", he said sadly, and Max squeezed his shoulder.

"Booth, she's stable. Why don't you kill two birds with one stone, go home, take a shower, and fix things with your… girlfriend? I promise you, if I start noticing something, _anything, _I'll call you first", Booth seemed reluctant, and Max pressed, "Come on, Booth. We both know you're a good man. And you won't find peace until you straighten things out. So please, for your sake, for my daughter' sake, go. Put a stop to all of this pain, enough people have been hurt already", he said, and Booth could only agree.

Max, seeing his reluctance, sighed deeply, "I know exactly how you're feeling, Booth. I know how much it cuts _here", _he said, patting his chest over his heart, "to see the woman you love in danger, to fear losing her. So many years passed since I lost my Ruthie, and I still can't make myself stop loving her, but that love has given me the strength to continue fighting to be a better man. Honor your feelings for my daughter, Booth, and do what must be done", Booth nodded solemnly, staring into Max's eyes.

With a heavy sigh, he hovered over her still form, and after a few moments of staring at her face, he leaned forward and kissed her cheek tenderly, and then moved his lips to her forehead, letting his lips linger. "I'll be right back. Gotta go, fix things, ok? For us. Promise me you'll have the sweetest dreams?", he said tenderly, "I love you, Bones. Wake up so I can tell you how much", he inhaled deeply, and with a longing look in his eyes, he nodded to Max, and left.

Max sat by her bedside, and took her hand in his. "He's a good man, baby girl. Even if he somewhat hurt you, I can see he didn't mean it. You need to wake up, and I hope that when you do, you can let him prove it to you. I wouldn't have chosen a better man for you myself", he closed his eyes and raised her hand to his face to kiss it softly, his eyes burning with the pain of seeing his beloved daughter lying in the hospital bed.

If he had been looking, he would have been surprised to see her lips curve in a tentative smile that instantly faltered, but that spoke volumes of the beauty that had replaced the sadness inside her mind.

B&B&B&B&B&B&B&B&B&B

_Bren's dream world_

She woke up, feeling the first rays of the sun hit her face through the curtains, but it was the warmth emanating from behind her that truly startled her. She noticed the very large, _very male _body behind her, as well as the face buried in the crook of her shoulder, his hot breath making her skin break out in goose bumps, and the arm wrapped around her midsection both protectively and possessively.

It was in this moment when the world shifted and her breath caught in her throat. She inhaled deeply, and the hand resting on her belly tightened reflexively.

"Baby, is everything ok?", a raspy voice came from behind her, "It's not the baby yet, isn't it?", he said worriedly, and she didn't understand why, but her eyes filled with tears, and she shakily nodded, feeling the rush of love and protection coming from him.

Of course, the man behind her knew her too well to ignore, "Baby, Temperance, what is it?", he said tenderly, gently helping her shift so she was lying on her back and facing him.

Her breath caught again when she stared into the most beautiful set of brown eyes, looking down at her with eyes filled with love and adoration, his hand tracing idle circles on her belly, calming her down and making her feel like her heart was about to burst.

"Booth?", she said, and he smiled beautifully before moving another hand to move a lock of hair out her face, staring into her blue gaze, "I think that's my name. What is it? The baby? Is anything wrong?", she shook her head, unable to speak and just brought her head to his neck, inhaling his musky, Boothy scent, the scent that soothed all of her fears, that calmed her, that enveloped her like the warmest blanket in a cocoon of safety and love.

The baby kicked happily inside her womb, and she gasped at his beaming smile, the one that always adorned his lips whenever he felt proof of the love they had made living inside of her.

"He's saying hi to daddy. Hello baby!", he said, moving swiftly down her body until his lips were next to her already raised nightgown, next to the perfect swell of her stomach, brushing his lips tenderly against her sleep-warmed skin, "How are you, my love? It's only a few days before I get to see you. You have no idea how much I love you, my angel. How much I absolutely adore you, and your mom", tears came to her eyes again, and he quickly moved to meet her face.

"What is it, babe?", he said worriedly, and she just smiled softly, "Hormones, I guess. It's just, I can't believe we're here, together", her voice was shaky, but filled with wonder and awe, "I still can't believe that I'm the one who gets to wake up next to you. For a while, I never thought it could happen. I wake up sometimes, and for a few moments, I feel like it's all a dream, and that when I wake up, I'll be lonely, without you… without our son", she said brokenly, and he held her tight against him, as much as he could with her protruding belly in the middle and felt him kiss her head repeatedly.

"Baby, I can't believe it either", he said, gently bringing her so she was even more on her side, her head on his chest, as he knew she loved, rubbing her back with one hand and her belly with the other, "You are my miracle. My beautiful miracle", he said, making her stare into his eyes, "Even if this happened the unusual way, I wouldn't trade you for the world. My beautiful Bones, you are everything to me", he leaned and kissed her sensually, letting her feel his love and passion for her, "And I can't wait to meet our little guy. Our little angel", his voice was husky and thick with emotion.

"Oh, Booth, I love you, so much, I'll never get tired of hearing it", she said, hiding her face in his neck, letting his warmth and love wash over her. She could feel his need, and smiled ruefully as sex had to be avoided to prevent an early labor scare.

If someone had told her a year ago she would be in her bed, with the man she loved next to her, cuddling her, speaking so sweetly to her, she would have thought they were delusional, but as she recalled the events that the Lauren Eames' case had provoked, she couldn't help but agree that indeed, being here was nothing short of a miracle.

. . . . . . .

_A year ago, after he rescued her in Woodland…_

Rain was falling steadily, hitting the SUV, filling the silence between them as Booth drove them to her place.

Tears were silently leaking from her eyes, but she had luckily stopped sobbing, and she only drew a ragged breath every now and then to calm herself. After he had rejected her so clearly, picking Hannah over her, and then stabbed her heart even deeper as he asked her if there was anyone else he could call, meaning the idea of him being the one to comfort her, as it had always been, was completely out of the question, she had only replied with a sad look and more silence, letting him know she didn't want anyone next to her, that her loneliness was all she wanted.

Minutes passed, and finally they reached her parking lot. She instantly started to unbuckle herself, and when she went to open the door, he gently stopped her, his hand going to her forearm, feeling warm against her chilled skin.

"Bones, I can't leave you like this", he said softly, and she shook her head, hating the guilty note in his voice, "I can't. I don't know why, but I can't".

"Booth, this is useless and you know it. It's prolonging a suffering that will not stop for now. If you feel you should feel guilty on my account, please don't", she said, her stern voice shaking with the effort to make it steady, "At least my conscience is clear and I know that whatever happens to me, I didn't hold back and I allowed my emotions to rule my decisions for once. And while it's deeply painful, I don't regret telling you. You deserved the honesty from me", she said tiredly, "As you always gave it to me".

He nodded, and his eyes were filled with an emotion she couldn't very well read. She thought there was sadness, but when she noticed how tight his biceps were, how white his knuckles were on the steering wheel, her heart ached as she saw him either trying to hold himself back, from going to her or from running away, she didn't know.

His eyes were fixed on hers, and with a bowed head, she went to close the door, but there was something inside her chanting words she couldn't understand until, like a strike of lightning, she understood.

_Tell him. The actual words he needs to hear so he never doubts again, so he goes knowing how you truly feel. Stop hinting at it, and just say it so he knows._

She gasped, and following her heart for the last time, she stared into his face, and opened the door yet again.

Fighting the urge to sob, she drew in a shaky breath and spoke, "This will probably be the last time you will ever hear this from me, Booth. I won't bother you again with this subject. But I… I can't die with this on my chest. I need you to know, I don't have any agenda or expectations. But it's… it's like I need to do what you did on the Hoover that night, to know that at least I tried telling you what's in my metaphorical heart", his eyes grew wide, and he surprised her as he unbuckled himself and opened his door, not even closing the door to his side and he quickly made his way in front of her, breathing heavily, but seemingly listening acutely to everything she was saying, the rain washing down over them, heavy droplets hitting their skin like long minutes before, when he saved her.

"I don't want this to mean you have to be troubled or feel guilty, and I don't even expect you to change your mind and course because of it. I know you're happy with Hannah, I know you love her deeply, and that she loves you the same way, but… you need to understand. I forgot what love felt like. I forgot what it was like to let my heart lead my decisions, my choices, and not my brain. I didn't want to accept it, because a part of me could only remember how much it hurt to put yourself on the line, but the other… the other part couldn't remember how rewarding it could be, how much joy and fulfillment it could bring to let yourself love and be loved. I haven't known love since I was 15. My father and Russ came back into my life, but I was scarred in ways you possibly couldn't understand. At least Pops was there for you. I have only known love that is selfish, abusive, self-serving… I didn't know that love could be like yours. So honest and complete. So selfless and giving. You're scarred yourself, and it ashamed me that even if you went through your own hell, you still have enough faith to put yourself out there, Booth, to open your heart to others despite the risk. I can't. I couldn't. It was robbed of me during countless nights when I had to lock myself up in a bathroom so my foster dad didn't rape me, and tried to convince me it was all because "he wanted me to be a good girl, because he _loved me_", ignoring his startled gasp, she continued, "Everyone who claimed to love me betrayed me, hurt me or left me to fend for myself. Then you came, and you changed everything. I couldn't lose you, Booth", she said brokenly, "I couldn't lose the only man who was my only source of faith. And I wanted to tell you I love you that night so badly, but I let my fear rule me", they stared at each other for long seconds, Booth's body so tight it felt like it would snap at any second, "I let my fear overrule my love. I know this changes nothing, that I lost my place in your heart, and rightfully so, but I don't want to let my pride be stronger than my desire to let you know that while I was away, I could only dream of you, and I could only hope I could have a chance to right every single wrong. You filled my thoughts at day and my dreams at night. But as long as Hannah makes you happy, even if my heart is breaking for not being able to be that woman for you, I will be happy you're happy. I could never understand how you can find happiness in such deep sorrow, but I can now. My deepest regret is not telling you this before we went away. And right now, I only wanted you to know… it was never a lack of love that led me to say no, or because I ever thought you weren't enough. It was loving you too much that confused me, that frightened me. It still does. And I know…", she choked on a sob, but her eyes never left his, "I know my chance has passed, but you deserved this from me. To know. And I'm so sorry, Booth, so very sorry that I broke your heart, that I made you feel this way, like you weren't enough when you became my _everything_. But please know that if you felt at last half of what I'm feeling… you've been compensated, because this pain surpasses anything I have ever felt. Not even my parents' leaving was this painful to me. But", inhaling deeply, she fixed her tired blue eyes on his, noticing his stiff posture, his darkened eyes fixed on her, not giving a thing away, "I won't torture us both further. I can only hope that you won't want to sever our partnership after this, and that some semblance of our friendship returns in time, but rest assured that if that should be the case, and you decide being around me is too much, I will only wish you the very best. If you want, we can forget this conversation ever took place. But please, understand you needed to know, that I didn't want you to leave thinking I never loved you, because I did", she said pleadingly, staring into bottomless darkened eyes.

"I understand", he said huskily, "I truly do. Thanks for saying it", he said, and she nodded dejectedly, turning on her heels, entering the pathetic solace that was her empty, silent apartment, not knowing she had shaken him to the core in ways that would only become visible in the trials to come.

….

Indeed, they acted like they hadn't had what had to be the most heartbreaking conversation ever, trying to be the friends they had once been, but when Heather Taffet was killed, and the shadow of Booth's past started haunting them, she had to hold herself back from taking him in her arms and shelter him from everything.

When Broadsky started threatening her, tensions escalated. When she first refused to let Booth become her personal bodyguard, the sparks could have ignited the worst bushfire in the history of mankind.

They were in their office, Cam, Angela and Jack staring at them with their mouths open as they fought in the same way of the earlier days of their partnership, sparks flying high, threatening to bring down the entire Jeffersonian with the fire they were creating.

"Booth! You're being unreasonable! It's illogical to think you're going to stay with me until we catch him!", she said angrily, and she couldn't avoid the bitter tone that crept into her voice when she added, "What about Hannah? She won't be happy you're staying at your partner's place!", she said, running her hands through her hair in exasperation.

"It's you who's being unreasonable!", he spat back, "How can you think anyone can be as good as I am to protect you?", he inhaled heavily, "You'll have to suck up your stupid pride and let someone help you for once!", he regretted the way he had voiced his concern, and how they were unable to have this conversation normally, but he couldn't negotiate on this, not when her life was on the line. Ever since the threats started and she became the target of Broadsky's obsession, he hadn't been able to sleep. Images of Broadsky succeeding in hurting her kept running through his mind, particularly knowing only Broadsky was as good as him.

"It's not about pride, Booth!", she said, a wave of exhaustion overcoming her, making her fall tiredly on her chair, "I just don't think…", she said dejected, "It's worth the trouble. You can put all the men you want on my doorstep. If Broadsky is as good as you have hinted, what's the point?", Booth's eyes widened, and he kneeled before her, his anger replaced by pure fear.

"Don't ever say that, Bones. Ever!", he said passionately, "If I'm insisting that it be me who cares for you it's because I know that I'm the only person as good as he is, that I'm the only one to take him out, if needed. Bones", he said softly, startling everyone in the office as the sudden shift from anger to a tenderness that had only existed between them before they left for opposite sides of the Earth was so palpable it was almost like a physical presence, "He's after you because of me. This is not because I'm feeling guilty, it's because it's my job, as your partner, to protect you. And Hannah might be upset, but she'll have to understand. Please, Bones", he pleaded, and the tenderness and concern in his warm brown gaze undid her resolve. She needed him so badly, and she was truly so scared to be haunted by someone who had the same level of skill as Booth, she truly craved his presence, his concern to let her feel she wasn't alone.

"Ok", she relented, "Only because I can't have you losing your mind, ok?", a happy gleam entered his eyes, making her feel guilty for denying him this at first, but satisfied that he didn't seem to be on edge anymore.

"Ok. Thank you, Bones", he said, taking her hands in his without even noticing, his large ones warming her and making her heart leap with new life and hope.

Days passed and the threats got worse. As she had predicted, Hannah was not happy at all when Booth told her he would be moving to Bones' apartment until Broadsky was caught. Booth tried to defuse her jealousy, but deep inside, he knew it was earned.

She had to give Hannah credit, as she had tried her best to hide how truly annoyed she was, but she had the strange ability to be able to read people when things were related to Booth, and right now the air between them was so thick it was almost impossible to breathe. The few times Hannah had come over with more clothes for Booth and to have dinner with them, she had been the one to push the conversation, since they were unusually tight-lipped and tense.

The truth was that despite appearances, Booth had been unable to forget her words, how his heart ached whenever he thought of her pain, of the idea of her thinking he had stopped loving her, how he longed to have her in his arms and tell her his heart had never stopped being hers.

He had moved into her apartment, both going over the details of every threat, trying to find something, always coming to dead ends and that became visible when the first lights of morning founds them with no sleep. They had settled into a domesticity that both scared and thrilled them. He loved to see her in her silky robes as she made coffee first thing in the morning, her beautiful face fresh of makeup, her usual straight hair rebelling into messy, silky curls that framed her face perfectly, her body taunting him through the cloth with the secrets he had forgotten he wanted to unravel. All of those desires were coming back with the strength of a leashed beast that had finally had found an escape from its prison. And if it wasn't enough, the fear she was so bravely trying to hide was tugging with a vice around his heart.

But when a bullet almost hit them both at the Jeffersonian parking lot, and after much investigation they concluded the miss was intentional, it was when the dam finally broke.

They were getting home after their ordeal, both shaken by the experience, Brennan with a bandage on her forehead as the splintered glass on her car had wounded her slightly. Booth couldn't forget how the sight of her blood coating her forehead and running down her cheek made his heart stop for a few seconds. From that moment, he had been asking himself if the reaction would have been the same had Hannah been the wounded party. And sadly, he had to admit the answer was a very definite no.

Everyone had been fussing around her, Cam skillfully stitching her forehead so it didn't scar, but for the few moments he thought Broadsky had succeeded, her words haunted him.

_I can't die with this on my chest… I forgot what it was like to let my heart lead me, and not my brain… I let my fear overrule my love… _Wasn't that what he had been doing? Letting his mind lead him? Running away from fear of falling as deeply in love with her again? Or even worse, acknowledging his heart was still hers to keep? That his fear to be hurt had been the force behind every choice he had made for the past months?

As she tiredly fell against her couch, letting her head fall back, her fingers tracing the bandage on her forehead, his heart clenched painfully. He knew was Broadsky was trying to say. _I'm very close to taking everything you love away from you._

He kneeled before her, and she tiredly raised her head and opened her blue gaze, trying to give him a tentative smile, but failing.

"He failed, Booth, I'm still here", she said, reading his thoughts, and he shook his head.

"On purpose, Bones. He only did it to let me know he can hurt you anytime he wants. I can't let him hurt you, I just can't", he said desperately, and without even becoming aware of the intimacy of the gesture, she let her hands wound in his hair, making his yes close in delight at her tender touch, replying with his head falling back on her lap, against her stomach, enjoying the sweet moment.

Long minutes passed, he grabbing her thighs like they were his anchor, kneeling before her, and she running her hands through his hair, eyes closed as he finally let her get close to him.

Letting the sweetness of the moment wash over her, she bent over and kissed the crown of his head, his hand tightening his grip on her outer thighs in response, a shaky breath leaving her lips.

"Don't ever leave me, Bones", he pleaded, and tears came to her eyes as she replied with a resolute, "As long as it is within my power, I will never leave, Booth", she didn't know how or when, but the sweetness started to shift to something infinitely more desperate and wanting. She could feel her body's response to his intimate touch, and she swallowed hard as her heart raced, noticing when the atmosphere started to get heavy with the sexual tension they had been denying for so long as she became aware of the feel of his large hands on her skin as her pencil skirt got raised up with his caress, uncovering milky skin as his fingers softly teased her.

"Booth", she said softly, "We can't…", his grip became tighter, and he raised his head to meet her eyes, his feeling with a fire she never thought she would see aimed towards her ever again.

He raised one hand from her thigh and placed a finger on her lips, "I need you, Temperance. I can't deny it anymore. I can't survive. If he hurts you… It will be the end of me", without a moment's doubt, he leaned over and pressed his lips forcefully against hers.

She would have thought of denying him, but when his warm lips made contact with hers, she could only let the power of his body surrounding her subdue her, unable to hear anything but the sound of her heart pleading to her to stop her grief and have this moment, even if it probably would be a one-time occurrence. It was enough, though she feared she could never get enough of him.

They fell against her couch, and his mouth gently coaxed her to open hers, to let him in. She responded and he plunged deep, tasting every crevice of her mouth, his mouth greedily tasting her skin, drinking her essence, their moans deep and heartfelt.

Before she knew it, clothes had been discarded and they were naked, his perfect, male body on top of hers, his hands shakily but assuredly tracing every inch of her skin, igniting a fire she had never felt before, knowing it was all new because it was him touching her.

Moans and whimpers filled the silence of her living room, silent promises of love were made with every touch, bodies desperate to join, to pull out the fire and anguish that had been following them for years.

When they finally became one, she swore something shifted inside of her. She thought it ridiculous, but when he entered her and smoothly moved inside of her, she could have sworn no other man was fit to make love to her, because she could no longer deny she was finally making love, as he released inside of her, her belly clenched, greedily absorbing every drop, feeling warm and safe, replete with emotions, before the storm started again and their bodies continued to move in frantic need and despair laced with the tenderness of the love they weren't voicing, but could feel in every touch.

She didn't know how long it was, but to her it felt like an eternity when the fire was finally put out, and he tiredly let his sweat-slicked body fall on top of hers, the pressure of his weight welcome like a warm blanket, their entwined smells hitting her nose like the most powerful aphrodisiac, making her feel, for the first time, that perfection was attainable, as she continued feeling him pulse within her, his seed coating her insides, his arms like steel around her.

They feel asleep together, his length buried deep inside her, their bodies joined in every way, arms around each other, his face on her neck, her hands on his back, in a perfect shelter of love.

B&B&B&B&B&B&B&B&B&

She felt a cold breeze wash over her, and she instinctively reached out for his warmth as she felt her insides become void of something precious. When she opened her eyes, squinting against the bright light illuminating her living room, signaling to the start of the day, it was to the sight of him covering his very naked, perfect body with the clothes they had discarded next to the couch.

"Booth?", she said tentatively, reaching out for her blouse to cover part of her nudity, scared when he didn't meet his eyes.

"It shouldn't have happened like this", was his reply, and her eyes welled with tears.

"I know", she said whisper-soft, her eyes falling to the floor, realizing how ashamed he must be, because whether they liked it or not, he had cheated on his almost fiancée and she had become _the other woman._

He kneeled before her, and from her position, she could see his unbuckled pants and opened work shirt, planes of muscled chest reminding her of how greedily she had kissed, licked, caressed and nibbled on every inch of that perfect skin during the night.

"I didn't mean it like that", he said, his voice going soft as he placed his hand under her chin, and forced her to meet his eyes, "It shouldn't have happened like this, when I'm in a serious relationship. We deserved… perfection", he said.

"It was perfect to me", she said brokenly, her watery eyes searching his, "But I understand how you must be feeling, and right now, I know…", she sighed, "You want to forget about this", she smiled through tears, "I know you love Hannah, and perhaps this was your way of… giving us both comfort. I think", she nodded, "It's best if you go, Booth. You can´t stay here, not after this", he nodded, and his face was filled with sorrow.

"I'm so sorry, Bones. To have hurt you. You deserved more from me", she shook her head.

"Even if it wasn't right", she replied, "I could never regret it. Even if it's something you'll always regret, I can't make myself regret it. It was beautiful, more than I ever thought, more than I ever imagined it could be, but I won't stand in your way, Booth, never", he nodded, and hastily zipped himself up and buttoned his shirt.

"I'll come back later, when you're at work, to get my stuff", he hated that he had to negotiate with her safety because of his fear, but he needed to sort himself out, and he needed to be with Hannah, to see her, to confirm what he already knew.

He left, his heart breaking when he heard her sobs through the door the moment he closed it behind him, cursing himself for adding yet another sin to his long list of wrongdoings where she was concerned.

Two weeks passed, and the threats continued. Booth had assigned Charlie as her security detail; he was also a great agent, and fit to care for Bones. They still weren't anywhere near close to catching Broadsky, and the idea of someone else taking care of her made Booth angry, but after their passionate night together, he couldn't be close to her without recalling the sensation of her pliant body underneath his, twisting in passion, her hands greedily caressing him, the perfection of being sheathed in her heat, her tender responses to their passion.

There was a new sadness in her blue depths he couldn't stand, because he knew it was he who had put it there. She looked at him with such longing, but she was careful not to let anyone see or notice. He couldn't deny how sad she looked when they all dared to go out for drinks, seeing his arms wrapped around Hannah, who was more than happy to have him back at their apartment, but even if heartbroken, it was never accusatory. On the contrary, it was a gaze filled with forgiveness and above all, love.

There was something about her that he couldn't deny. 3 weeks after their night together, and there was a new glow around her that made her beauty stand out. He didn't know, but her skin seemed to be glowing, her eyes sparkling, her body looking perfectly delicious, taunting him with what he had been denying himself. She had been losing weight, but now her curves seemed to be filling in all the right places.

And then, the moment of truth came, in all ways.

**And I know there's a scene everyone wants to see: Booth ditching Hannah! (hehehehe)… Perhaps it will be the next chappie, or the next one, but no further than that. Scout's honor.**

**Musie will be very happy to get reviews, and she will gladly take them to heart.**


	10. Chapter 9

Booth's POV

The ride to his apartment went by faster than he thought, as it was early and the streets weren't busy yet with people trying to get to their jobs. Even though it had hurt to leave her side, he was thankful Max had come to relieve him of his duties before the squint squad appeared and bombarded him with a million questions he couldn't answer, so he could actually sort everything out.

When he reached his apartment's parking lot, he turned the engine off, but was unable to make himself move, keys still in the ignition, head tiredly falling back on his seat. He had come up with a million things to say to Hannah, and at the same time, he was aware he couldn't talk to her without opening to her fully, even if it angered him to share his history with someone he knew he would or could never trust again, but at least, Hannah deserved to know she wasn't fully to blame for the end that would surely come.

After a few moments of resting his head against the headrest, he tiredly made his way out of the SUV and slowly walked to his apartment, dragging his feet all the way up, not even saying hello to his doorman as he walked past him to the elevator.

He searched for his keys, and when he opened the door, he sighed deeply and entered, readying himself for battle. After he closed the door behind him, he was met with the smell of fresh coffee coming from his kitchen, along with the accompanying noises of Hannah moving about.

He leaned against the doorpost, watching her move, and after just a few seconds, she sensed his presence, and turned around, dark circles and red-rimmed eyes meeting his.

Hannah was a beautiful woman, and even first thing in the morning, she always managed to get his blood boiling. However, as he now stared at her, he found he was blaming himself for not seeing many things past her beauty, her carefree approach to life and open heart.

She was trying too hard to commit, to make herself part of a setting that wasn't hers, out of love for him, and he realized how unfair he had been. He had been trying to make her into someone that just wasn't her when he already had the woman for the job, even if she hadn't wanted it at first.

"Seeley", she said tearfully, "I... I didn't know... if you were coming back home. How's... how's Temperance?", fear laced her voice as he tiredly slumped in one of the seats.

He nodded somberly, but he couldn't be cruel to her, not even if he was angry, and rightfully so. He could see the honesty and heartbreak in her eyes, along with very real concern for the woman she had come to call her friend, and he sighed deeply, "Still fighting for her life. Hannah...", he said, rubbing the stubble on his chin, "We need to talk", she nodded, her eyes swimming with unshed tears.

"I know", she said softly, and after he tilted his head, she followed him to the living room. She took a place by the couch, and he sat in front of her, close enough so he could see into her face and read her every reaction, but far away to avoid her touch. He needed to be detached to have this conversation.

"Hannah... I don't know where to begin", Booth said, and he saw her eyes widen as he was certain she was expecting some sort of verbal lambasting from him, "I don't know how to start to sort of the mess I've made out of things. I won't lie, I was angry", she flinched slightly, "But I realize you're not truly guilty. I can't blame you for reacting the way you did".

Hannah's eyes were pooling with tears, and she desperately said, "You trusted me with your son, and I... I failed you", she wiped away a tear that had managed to slid down her cheek, "You have every right to be angry. But Seeley, you have to understand that I... Seeley, I haven't known your son for long, and it was not in my instinct... to protect him", when she saw the spark of fury suddenly fire in his eyes, she knew the last words had dissolved any semblance of peace he might have had regarding the subject and this conversation.

His eyes were filled with disbelief and anger when he looked at her, "It was... not in your instinct? Hannah, I trusted you with the most important thing I have. My son is my world, and I let you become involved with him, because, whether you like it or not, any association with me means that you have to deal with him. I know you didn't ask to be a mother, and I'm not asking you to become his mother, but God, Hannah", he said, running his hand through his hair, mussing it up even further than it already was, "I never lied to you: he always, always, comes first. I didn't hide that fact from you. I know this relationship was light and cool at first", he said angrily, "But the moment I decided to introduce you to my son, to let you become involved with him, you had to know you would be accepting some responsibility. You knew what I do for a living, how dangerous it is, and yet you took me in. God!", he let his hands run through his hair desperately, "You knew me in the most dangerous setting on the world, or was it just about the thrill?", his eyes trained on her, and she visibly flinched, giving him his response.

"Seeley…", she was afraid of him for the first time. She had never seen him so angry, least at her, and while she knew it was deserved, it proved to her that she didn't truly know him, "I can't… deny that at first, part of it was that thrill. It was fun, and exhilarating. You made me feel a live in a situation where hope is very far, where everything is so gray and sad", his expression was now unreadable, "But you can't deny that it was the same for you too", she tried to plead, and she saw his jaw clench, knowing she still hadn't found the right words to reach him, and fearing she never would.

"Of course, Hannah, at the beginning of a relationship, it is all about the fun. But when you come here, and move in with me, I don't know, _stupid me", _he said, with a bitter laugh as he slapped his forehead, "I thought, maybe she wants more, maybe I finally found a woman who wants the same things I do, who's ready to build a life with me. I let you get close to my son because I trusted you", he said, "Were you saving time until something serious happened?", he asked, now incredibly defeated and sad, "What if I had asked you to marry me? To build a family with me?", her widened eyes gave him the answer, and he shook his head, "Of course not", he stood from the couch, and started to pace.

"Seeley…", she knew he had read her answer. He had the incredibly ability to read people like a pro, and she knew he had seen she would have said no.

"Don't lie to me, Hannah. I can clearly see you would have said no", she let her head fall, knowing it was the true, "You know me, you know I need stability, that I crave stability so I can give Parker a second family. You knew this, I told you", he paced, but his eyes never let her figure, seeing how she braced herself, "How long did you think you would have been able to pull this off, uh? How long, Hannah?", he ran his hand through his face, exhaling deeply.

"I've told you, thousands of times, Seeley, that I'm not the marrying kind", she replied, "I do love you, very much, and I thought we would have more time… before it came to this", she pleaded with him, but when he fixed his eyes on hers, they were onyx and filled with the pain of what he saw as her betrayal.

"It killed me, Hannah, that while you only thought of yourself, the woman I've been neglecting for months, the woman I've abandoned to make this relationship work risked her life for my son. And I can only think this is all my fault. She might die, Hannah, and she will go thinking that I didn't love her, that all she was to me was a convenience", she gasped, and he bitterly continued, unable to stop himself from letting the truth finally out.

"Yes, Hannah. I love her. I tried to make myself forget about her, and I foolishly thought that my feelings for you had erased all my feelings for her, that I had succeeded. But I failed miserably, and seeing her like that, so broken, so alone on that hospital bed made me see how stupid I've been. She gave everything for me, and yet I gave her nothing. She pleaded, to me, you know? I told you, there had been something between us, and I guess you deserve to know the entire truth", Hannah's body stilled, and he swallowed hard before continuing, "I was in love with Bones for God knows how long before I had the courage to ask her to give us a chance. She said no. She was afraid, and the only thing I could see was my wounded pride and my even more wounded heart. I couldn't see she was afraid we would fail and she would lose me. When I went to Afghanistan, I was heartbroken, Hannah", seeing her eyes pooling with tears, he knew he couldn't hurt her, not on purpose. He surprised her as he sat again, right next to her, and took her hand in his, "You were my light in the dark. When I met you, I truly really wondered if there was someone out there for me. It´s true that at the beginning, I was looking for a good time, something to make my heart lighter, because it felt so, so very heavy", he said, his eyes softening at the sight of her tears, "But you know I wanted more, that I needed more. I didn't lie to you", he said softly.

"You didn't", she replied just as softly.

"You healed me, you made me see I could love again, with no fear. But the truth is there is only one woman who I'm scared to love, because she was my whole world for so long. And ever since I returned, all I've done is hurt her. She's stood by my side, supporting me, and I know it must have been killing her to see me with you, but she didn't falter. I was the coward, Hannah, not her", he swallowed, "You deserve to be loved to the fullest, Hannah, and I can't be that man. I realized that, and I'm heartbroken that it's taken for her to nearly die for me to see that while I do love you, the way I love her…", she nodded, defeated, tears falling down her cheeks, "The only thing I beg of you is never to think I used you somehow, because I didn't mean it. It was never my intention. I truly believed we could have a beautiful life together", he added, just as defeated.

"Seeley… I do want a life with you, but…I can't give up my dreams", she said, "And I'm sorry if you feel that I'm accountable for any harm that might have come to your son, but… being a wife, a mother, is not in me. Perhaps in a few years…", she trailed off, seeing the disappointment in his eyes as her words, and knew in that moment they were over.

He nodded, "I did love you, Hannah. I did. But I can't be with someone I can't trust with my heart, and how can we keep going on if I know we're building this on thin air? Hannah, you know what I want", she didn't have an answer to that, so a heavy silence followed.

"I'll go take a shower, and grab some clothes", he said, groaning as he stood up.

"Seeley", she called as he walked to his bedroom. He stilled, but didn't turn to face her, "I do love you, but I guess you weren't listening", she said, "I do believe you love me, and that's why I think we're not done, but I can see we're done for now, in your eyes. Perhaps, when your anger fades, we can salvage this", she hated that she was begging, "Seeley, I've never begged in my life, I'm proud and I have never needed anyone, but you've changed all that. Please", she said tearfully, "Tell me I haven't lost you. You were willing to build a life with me", she pleaded, "There must be something we can do".

He closed his eyes, hating that she was begging. He would have never expected that of her, and he knew that in her own free-spirited way, she did love him, but he knew it wasn't enough. "I need someone that shares my dreams, Hannah. And you have to be honest, you've just given me all the evidence that points otherwise. I'm sorry, I really am", he said with finality, her heavy sobs following him all the way to his room.

. . . . . . . .

He had lasted longer than he usually did in the shower, letting the hot stream of water hit his tired body, hands against the wall as the heavy downpour washed away the exhaustion of the last hours. He knew true rest could only come when she was awake and in his arms, but as Max had said, he needed to regain his strength if he wanted to be of any service to his Bones when she woke.

He seriously thought of foregoing his shave, but for her benefit, he groomed carefully, making an effort, just _for her. _

He entered his room, clad only in the towel wrapped around his waist, and he quickly found himself comfortable clothes for the long vigil awaiting him: his dark jeans, and his favorite Foreigner t-shirt, smiling faintly when he thought back of the silliness of them dancing together to _their song, _how carefree and beautiful she had looked letting go of her reserve and just embracing the moment; warm cotton stripped socks to fight the cold of the hospital, and his leather jacket along with his black sneakers. After he found his keys, weapon and badge, he made his way out the room.

She continued to sit where he had left her, her emerald eyes sad and broken, red-rimmed and puffy from her tears.

"Seeley, I am sorry", she said, and he just nodded, and replied with a soft, "I'm sorry too, Hannah. I had every hope of us working out, and for a while, we did. I wish you the best, Hannah, I truly do".

"I'll be gone by the time you get back. Tell Temperance…", she said, and he frowned when he saw Bones' sunglasses on Hannah's hand, "Tell Temperance I'm sorry for taking what was hers", he had the nagging suspicion it wasn't just the glasses she was talking about, "I do hope she gets better", he nodded, and squeezed her hand in thanks, her face filled with sorrow and despair.

"You are a good woman, and you'll make some lucky man really happy. I guess… we weren't right for each other in the end", he sighed, and turned on his heels, closing the door gently behind him, her renewed sobs following him all the way out.

. . . . . . .

_Bren's dream world_

It had been 4 weeks since their night together, and things weren't improving. On the contrary, they seemed to be getting worse. He was desperately trying to salvage his relationship with Hannah, but she could see in his eyes that he wasn't happy, that he was as sad and broken as she felt. Most nights she concluded that the longing she saw in his dark irises was just her wishful thinking, that it was she that wished for him to be holding on to their night together as she was, remembering every caress, every kiss, every sigh, every moment of their skins fusing, of their bodies becoming one for the first time.

She let her hands trace idle circles on her abdomen, feeling the calm that swept over her whenever she thought of the product of their night together.

When she first missed her period, she thought it might be the nerves, the stress of being hunted down by a killer, but when a week passed and her period didn't arrive, she knew it was time to make an appointment with her OB/GYN. And when she first heard the news, she wasn't surprised. As a scientist, she had all the facts: they had had unprotected sex during the entire night, and she had been off birth control for more than a year, having decided that if she was going to be celibate, there was no point in protecting herself against something that just wouldn't happen. Besides, remembering Booth's results back from when they took his sample for the baby that didn't happen, it was bound to happen as her doctor had teasingly told her her chosen donor "had supersperm".

But now, letting her hands press lightly on her still-flat stomach, she could only fear she was going to have to do this on her own. She knew the moment Booth found out, he would run to her side, but she didn't want him to be with her due to a sense of obligation. She wanted him to want her, to want this tiny life growing inside her womb, her love, because she was finally ready to admit that even if she couldn't quantify it, it was still real and as evident as the baby they were going to have. She could see the strain between he and Hannah, and she knew one word for her and it would be over, but she didn't want to be guilty for Booth deserting Hannah. All of her insecurities were returning, as she figured that if Booth was fighting so fiercely to rebuild his relationship, it was because his feelings for Hannah ran deeper. She didn't blame him, and she ached for him as she saw him struggling with his guilt over what he saw as his betrayal. He wasn't a cheater, and she knew he was beating himself up because he had failed.

And there was the matter of Broadsky. She hadn't been scared for her life, as she had accepted fully the dangers of what she did, but for the past 8 days, ever since she found out she was harboring a new life inside her body, she feared for this tiny being, and she feared what it would do to Booth if Broadsky succeeded and Booth found out he had not only taken his partner, but his child as well.

A knock on the door startled her, and she instantly lowered her blouse, patting her stomach gently as she had done ever since she first started suspecting she was pregnant, knowing how irrational it was, but surrendering to the comfort of at least trying to connect to her child in some way.

She out on her shoes back on, and walked to her door, startled when she looked through the peephole and it was Booth on the other side. Sighing heavily, she braced herself and started trying to psyche herself into believing she could hide the truth for him.

With a shaky hand, she opened her door, and smiled tentatively at him, "Hey", was her only greeting, and he smiled in kind at her, though she could see the strain of the tension in his shoulders, the fatigue etched in his warm eyes.

"Can I come in?", he asked, and she nodded, stepping to the side so he could make his way in. Out of instinct, he went to sit on her couch, but his body instantly reacted, tensing as his mind assaulted with the images of their night together. He made his way to the chair, and fell heavily on it, hoping she hadn't seen his reaction.

Unfortunately, she had, and she felt such a rush of compassion for him, seeing how shaken he still was by their night together. She was more certain that the only way she could tell him was when everything was over, not wanting to trouble him further and make him lose his focus.

"How are you, Bones?", he asked, and she smiled feebly before replying.

"Tired. Scared. But I'm ok. I can feel we're very close, Booth. But we are so involved we have been unable to take a step back and look at the bigger picture, and that's why we continue missing him. He's toying with us, though I can't still figure out why he would go after me and not after, let's say Hannah, or even Parker", seeing his distress, she shook her head, "Booth, you know that's a very logical question. Why me?"

"Because he knows losing you would destroy me", he said, opening his heart to her for the first time in a month, having missed their connection, hating that he was abandoning her to fix his broken relationship with Hannah, who was growing more and more insecure of his love for her with every passing day.

She sighed deeply, and replied, "You don't love me, Booth. If Broadsky has been following us so closely, he must know where your interests lie", he shook his head sadly.

"We both know that isn't true", their gazes locked heavily, hearts thudding heavily in their chests at the intensity of the moment, "If I lose you…", her eyes pooled with tears.

"I thought we had agreed, Booth. You made your choice, and I've respected it", she pleaded, and he kneeled before her, so much like that fateful night, unable to stop himself.

"It's killing me that I can't be here, with you, protecting you", she took one of his hands in hers, and caressed his knuckles softly, enjoying his closeness, her stomach leaping.

"I know, and I appreciate it", she wished she could tell him she was carrying his child, that she loved them both, but she knew that it wasn't the time, and perhaps it would never be.

Booth spotted a red dot next to her head, and without thinking, he yanked her to the floor just when they heard the hiss of a bullet pass through their heads, missing them both by mere inches, hearing the glass of her window shatter.

He cradled her head in his hands, leaning the weight of his body on top of hers, a second shot ran out, and he reached for his holster, taking his gun, and rising his head, he aimed towards the place where the hole the bullet had created was, shooting blindly, knowing he wouldn't get him, but enough to make their attacker run for cover.

After 5 minutes passed, and there were no more shots, he took his cell phone and dialed Charlie.

"Charlie, what the hell happened?", he was still sprawled on top of her, and she had moved her hands to cradle her stomach, mindful of her baby, knowing how irrational it was since it was still minuscule, but unable to stop herself from instinctively trying to protect the life of their child.

"Ok", he shut the phone, and noticing the way she was protecting herself, he worriedly asked, "Am I crushing you?", she shook her head, and he slowly started to straighten his body, noticing her hands on her stomach yet, "I did crush you", his eyes fixed on her raised blouse, and on that perfect skin he had nibbled on, caressed and kissed so thoroughly.

"You didn't, it was just reflex", she tried to cover, seeing his eyes fixed on her stomach, irrationally scared he would find out, though she knew her abdomen was as perfect and flat as it had always been, "What did Charlie say?", she asked, trying to deflect his attention from her body.

"That they are securing the perimeter, and that it seems the shot came from the rooftop of the other building. They are checking it out. Bones, this isn't safe anymore", she shook her head.

"Booth, this was very much like the time he shot at us in your SUV. He's trying to make a point, make us crazy", she said, crossing her legs behind her, and Booth rubbed his forehead in exasperation, knowing she was right, but the idea of her in danger was already breaking havoc in his mind, "You know he's trying to take us out of our controlled environment, and making a statement, so we don't feel safe", she said, trying to hide how shaken she was for her child.

"What am I supposed to do, Bones?", he asked desperately, and she went to rub his shoulder.

"I am thinking… what if we follow his game? He wants me, Booth. I can be bait", she said, and he immediately shook his head no frantically.

"Absolutely no!", he replied, "What can possibly lead you to think I will endanger you?", she gave him a sad look, and staring into his eyes, she replied-

"Booth, we can't continue doing this. At least, if I pose as bait, we can control where things will happen. And I have every confidence in your skill to stop him. I trust you, and we have the advantage. If he knows you as you say, he will never imagine you would agree to something like this", Booth's stare was fixed on her blue depths, mesmerized by her sparkling eyes and above all, by the complete trust and confidence she had in him.

"Bones, I don't want to negotiate with your safety", he said, and she tenderly replied, "This is my choice. Let's arrange everything, please? I don't know if I can keep doing this", she said, and he could see she meant it. But what he didn't know was that she was on borrowed time until the truth came out.

. . . .

As difficult as the choice had been, the execution was quite simple. They had decided they would do it at the dinner, since they figured Broadsky was very much aware the dinner was a huge part of their time as partners. They would keep her security detail, since a change in their routine could make Broadsky suspicious, and therefore it could thwart their plans.

The idea was for them to seemingly be fighting over something, which was not unusual for the partners, and to seemingly be so engrossed in their fight they appeared careless, thus inciting Broadsky into making his move.

The day arrived, and everything went on as normal. Charlie and the two agents of their security detail were onto their scheme, and it could appear normal as they would pretend to become scared of their fight.

At the dinner, they ordered their usual, tension running high, and for once, they didn't hide it, because if Broadsky was looking, they needed a good cover so their fight appeared realistic.

Brennan sighed deeply, and when Booth touched her arm in concern, with a subtle nod, she knew it was time.

Giving him an apologetic look for the hurtful things they were about to say to each other, she began, "I'm tired of you babying me, Booth. I can take care of myself", he shook his head, and flinched, removing his hand from her skin, as he had just been slapped.

"Well, forgive me if I want to take care of my partner! You're so…", he let off, and she angrily spat back.

"What? Infuriating to you because I don't submit to your alpha-male tendencies? You're such a chauvinistic, control-freak pig!", she said, and he laughed bitterly.

"I don't know why I even put up with you!", he replied, as they walked into clear view, bodies growing taut with tension as they instinctively felt it, Broadsky was indeed close.

"I can tell you a thing or two! Because no one in the world is as good as me, and you need me, and second, because no matter what, you can't live a life without me!", she screamed, letting a bit of her true anger surface.

Taking the chance, he replied, "Ha! It's you who can't live without me, you have even put up with me and Hannah so you can still revolve around me! So, who's stuck on who?", her eyes widened, but when she saw his irises slightly flicker to their right, she knew Broadsky was already aiming. Charlie and the other two security guys had flinched away, seemingly not wanting to intrude on their fight, thus making Broadsky believe he had a clear shot.

Their mistake was thinking that he was going for Brennan, but when she saw the red dot in the center of Booth's chest, she didn't even flinch, just thinking of his safety, of the safety of the father of her baby, and she screamed, "Booth!", throwing him to the floor as she felt a sharp pain run through her sternum.

Booth only blinked, and when she fell practically on top of him, to protect him, he instantly reached for his gun, and it was the glimmer of a gun on a window that made him aim. He felt it, he knew he had gotten his mark. He screamed, "Charlie, go!", Charlie didn't need any explanations as to where Booth needed him to go, "Rodgers, call 911", the people in the dinner were screaming, but all he heard was her ragged breathing as he cradled into his arms.

"Bones, baby, I'm here", he pleaded, "You can't die on me, ok?", he said tenderly, his eyes filled with pain and worry, "why, Bones, why?".

She smiled faintly at him, and said, "Your life is the most important to me", she said, "I couldn't have you die. Partners, right?", he nodded tearfully.

"No, not partners", she could feel the pain radiate from her upper right side, and it was the pain that was making impossible to breathe. He held her tenderly, not caring that his pristine shirt was getting sodden with her blood, his hands applying pressure to her wound.

Suddenly, the wail of the ambulance made him release a relieved breath.

"Bones, promise me, you'll fight. Promise me you'll use every bit of that beautiful stubbornness to come out of this", he pleaded, and she raised blood-stained fingers to trace his cheek tenderly as the paramedics rushed to her side.

"I promise, for you, for our son", were her last words before blackness engulfed everything around her, not seeing his eyes widen in surprise and the dam break in earnest.

. . . .

Booth's POV

He felt lighter somehow. Part of him made him feel guilty, hating how hard he had been to Hannah, but relieved the truth was finally out. He hoped she healed, and that she found a man who wanted to live as freely and carelessly as she did.

When he arrived to the hospital, the only one there was Rebecca, with his son, who ran to him. He kneeled down, and braced himself for the impact of his son's body against his chest.

"Daddy, Daddy!", Parker said, hiding his face against Booth's neck, who replied in kind, inhaling the scent of his son's shampoo, feeling calmer and more grounded.

"Hey, bub!", he said tiredly, but happy that he was here, and that Rebecca had understood his need to be near him and their Bones. With all the commotion, they had only had the chance to speak when he was at his apartment, and he had heard her chastise him and then thank him for protecting their son.

"Hey, Seeley", Rebecca approached them slowly, "How's Dr. Brennan?", she asked kindly, and he straightened his body, Parker's body safely nestled against his chest. "they wouldn't tell us anything beyond that she's being monitored heavily".

"She had a rough night, but when I left this morning, she was calmer", he replied, and then she warmly asked, "And how are _you_?"

He sighed deeply, and stared into her blue eyes, "Terrified she won't wake, but doing my best to be there without completely falling apart", she placed her hand on his forearm, silently lending him part of her strength. Whatever had happened between them, she couldn't deny he was a great father, and besides, she owed the good doctor big time. Her son was soaring and it was all due to that strange group of people that had won a place in his little heart.

"Parker couldn't sleep last night, and when he asked me this morning to bring him here… how could I refuse him, Seeley? I owe Dr. Brennan my son's life", Booth nodded, moved by her tearful admission, "And I know Parker won't be happy unless he sees her. Do you think it is possible for him to come in for a while? It's against hospital policy, but he would be more calm if he saw her for a moment", Booth held Parker tightly, knowing his little boy needed to be cuddled and feel safe in his parents' arms.

"I don't know, Rebecca. I can go in and talk to her doctor. One of the nurses told me we should talk to her, that it could help. Wait here, and I'll ask", Rebecca nodded and Booth's heart broke at the hopeful look in his son's eyes, knowing he had to do everything so Parker could see her and his little heart could find some rest.

"Daddy, was it my fault that she isn't waking up?", Booth's heart clenched, and he rubbed Parker's back soothingly, "Not at all, buddy. The woman who tried to harm you was very bad, and she's the one guilty for this. She is the one that hurt Dr. Bones", he said, rubbing a stray curl away from Parker's forehead, hating to see the pain in his son's eyes.

"But you saved us, you made sure she never hurt anyone ever again, right Daddy?", Booth's chest felt tight as his son's easy way of seeing how he had taken Taffet out, not an ounce of reproach or disgust at his actions, just pride and relief his daddy had saved them all.

Booth held him impossibly close to him, feeling his forgiveness and innocent view of his actions wash over him like a benediction, "Yeah, bub. She will never hurt anyone again", they stayed in silence, letting their embrace calm them both.

With a kiss to his hair, Booth passed him to Rebecca, aware that he wasn't ready to stand on his little feet just yet, and said, "I'll go talk to her doctor, and see if he allows Parker to enter for just a second. It's not regulation, but I'm sure we can do something, ok?", both Parker and Rebecca nodded eagerly, and he made his way into the ICU, and after spotting her doctor sitting in front of a computer, he called to him.

"Doctor, could you give me a second, please?", the doctor nodded, and after pressing some keys, stood up and made his way, leading him to a silent area.

"What is it, Agent Booth?", the doctor asked, and Booth gave him a sheepish look before replying, "Well, doctor. You know how Temperance got injured, right?", he said lamely, and the doctor nodded, and Booth continued, "If you do, then you must know she was wounded saving my son from a serial killer?", the doctor raised an eyebrow, knowing she had been wounded saving someone, but not that the someone was the agent's son, and least of all, that she had done it to protect him from a serial killer.

"I wasn't aware of the specifics", Booth gave him a pleading look before continuing.

"Look, doctor, my son is only 9 years old, and he's terrified, blaming himself for his Dr. Bones, that's what he calls her, being injured to protect him. I know this goes against regulation, and that you were more than kind in letting both Max and I stay, but please doctor, understand that my little boy needs to see her, so he knows she's better", the doctor seemed reluctant, and it showed in his next words.

"Agent Booth, I do understand, but I don't think it's wise. It's against protocol", Booth gave him another pleading look, and replied, "I know, doctor, I know, and I wouldn't ask, but he loves her, and the last image he had of her was of her body covered in blood. And he's a very bright child, he knows she was injured protecting him. Doctor, how can we deny him the chance to be at peace?", the doctor gave him a dubious look, but shrugging his shoulders, he nodded, and Booth released his breath.

"Ok, I'll allow this, since you've made a good point, yet again, but I need for you to explain to your son what he's going to see, the wires and the tubes she has so he's not surprised, and I can only let him in for no longer than 5 minutes, _tops, _ok?", Booth smiled and went to shake his hand.

"Don't worry, everything will go as you have instructed. Is Max inside?", the doctor nodded, "I'll go let him know Parker is on his way", they parted ways with another handshake, Booth going to her room, his eyes softening at her calm face, though it killed him to see the paleness of her normally rosy skin.

"Hey, Booth. Everything ok?", Booth could see what Max was truly asking, and he nodded, a look of understanding passing between the men, Max seemingly pleased at the outcome.

"How is she?", Booth asked, going to her side for a moment and taking her hand to brush a kiss against her knuckles as Max gave him space to be near her.

"The same. Her vitals are stable, and she remains calm, but apart from that, no reaction", Booth nodded, and after a few moments of staring into her peaceful face, he turned to Max.

"Max, if it's ok with you, I asked the doctor to let Parker in. My poor boy is beating himself up, he blames himself", Max nodded sensibly, "I can't let the poor little man remain with the image of her covered in blood. I'm not sure he believes me when I say she's better", Max sighed.

"Booth, your son is a delightful young man, very well behaved, and you're right. It would be cruel to let him remain with the image of my little girl bathed in her blood, protecting him", Booth was relieved at Max's understanding, knowing how much they had bonded, how much Parker enjoyed their time together.

"I'll bring him in", they shared a look and Booth went out the ICU doors, to find Rebecca still with Parker in her arms, cuddling him, and rocking him.

When they noticed he was back, Rebecca gave him an expectant look, followed by Parker's excited one, "Daddy! Can I come? Please, please?", he begged, and Booth went to take him in his arms, kissing his forehead tenderly before going to a group of chairs, and sitting with him on his lap.

"Ok, little man. They are letting us in", Parker's delighted smile eased Booth's heart, "But with some conditions, ok?", Parker nodded excitedly, keen to do anything that earned him the passage to go inside and see his Dr. Bones.

"First, I have to explain to you what you're going to see", Parker fixed his eyes on his dad's, clearly hanging to every word, "This is an ICU, that means Intensive Care Unit. Bub, that means there are very sick people inside, that need to be watched at all times, that's why they are not in private rooms, so the nurses and doctors can care for them all time. Bones is one of them. She was wounded in a very dangerous area, and since she still hasn't woken up, the doctors are keeping her here, so they can help her get better, understand?", Parker nodded.

"Yes, Daddy. Like Sleeping Beauty", Booth felt his heart tug inside at his son's untainted innocence, "Yeah, Parks, like Sleeping Beauty. Anyway, they have her hooked up to some machines. They look weird, and even painful, but they are there so she can get better. She has one here", he took Parker's hand and pressed against his knuckles, "where they keep her hydrated. Parks, there is a bag of blood hanging right next to her bed. They had to give her some, since the wound made her lost quite a bit. She has a bandage on her neck, since they had to operate on her, and a tube on her upper chest. That is called a central line. It's not painful, and they use it to give her medicine faster, so she can heal. And last, she has a tube in her mouth. It helps her breathe, so her lungs rest while she rests, and it does all the work so she can focus on healing. The doctor said you can go in, but only 5 minutes. But if you're scared or have any questions, don't be afraid to ask them, and please, if you feel you are about to freak out or something, tell me and I'll bring you here with your mom, ok?", Parker gave him a solemn look and replied,

"Daddy, I will be brave so I can visit Dr. Bones. I understand the machines are funny-looking, but that they are good for her, so she can come back to us sooner. I promise I will behave", Booth smiled, and Parker eagerly said, "Can we go in already?", touched by his son's eagerness to go inside, Booth stood, with Parker perched against his hip, and gave Rebecca a soft kiss to her cheek.

"I'll be back with him in 10 minutes, ok?", Rebecca replied with a smile, and they went in.

Parker snuggled closer to his chest as they traveled the ICU. Booth was thankful the curtains were drawn, and that the ICU wasn't as busy so they could give his son this little treat that he knew would ease his troubled little heart.

When they arrived to her curtain, Max was already outside, with a warm smile that Parker instantly responded to, "Max, Dr. Max", both men smiled at Parker's eagerness, but they both placed their indexes against their lips, and whispered, "Softly, Parks", he looked contrite, but didn't lose his smile, as Booth carefully made his way inside the room.

He waited for his son's reaction, as Parker grew silent and just stared at her from the foot of her bed, still perched on Booth's hip.

"She looks so peaceful, Daddy, like she's just sleeping", Booth pressed a kiss to his temple, and agreed, "Yeah, Parks. Like she's just sleeping", Parker didn't seem scared by the machines or monitors, which eased Booth's concern until his son spoke.

"Can we sit with her for a moment?", Booth nodded, and went to the chair, with Parker on his lap.

"Daddy?", he asked tentatively, "Can I hold her hand for just a while?", Booth agreed and carefully placed her hand in Parker's outstretched one.

She was frowning, and starting to grow frantic, and Booth was scared that right this moment, she was starting to have a nightmare, but surprisingly, the moment Parker's tiny hand made contact with hers, her brow eased, and her breath slowed down.

"Dr. Bones. I want you to know that I am very grateful you are ok. I was so scared", Parker said tearfully, "I know you were hurt protecting me. That makes you my angel, because angels protect us", Booth's eyes filled with tears at his son's tender words, "And you protected me. Dr. Bones, I love you very much, and I prayed last night to God so He makes you better. I wish you could wake up soon so I can tell you how much I love you", Booth was surprised at how much his son's words had resembled his of earlier, and he figured he wasn't the only one in love with _their Bones. _"You're very beautiful", Parker continued, "And smart, and you talk to me like I'm an adult. You're the only one who treats me like I'm a grown kid, not like a baby, and I like that you take care of my Daddy. Bones, I like you, and only you, and I want you to wake up so you can become my Daddy's girlfriend because I like you better than Hannah. She's ok, but you're so much cooler", Booth smiled at his candor, "And you make my Daddy smile tons when you are together. Please Dr. Bones, wake up soon so you can be with us", he pleaded, and Booth, understanding what the boy wanted, stood a bit, and bent his body so Parker hovered over her, and kissed her forehead.

"You are strong", he said, "And I trust you will fight to come back to my Daddy, to us, to Grandpa Max", the little boy said determinedly, "to the squints. We need you and love you. Get better soon, please?", Booth hid his moved tears from him, touched by his innocent, open-hearted pleas.

He sat again, and he joined hands with Parker, taking hers in their grasp, and he began, "Bones, Temperance, my son is smarter than I am. He could see that you make me the happiest, that I love you the most. It's true, when I'm with you, I have all reasons to smile, and even if I lost that smile a little, my mistake was thinking that I had stopped loving you. But I couldn't. You are a part of me, a part I can't forget or live without. Please, Tempe", he squeezed her hand, and raised it, waiting for Parker to drop a tiny little kiss to it before he followed, "Open your beautiful eyes so you can let us take care of you, forever. And I know you don't believe in forever, but if you want, I'll give you a thousand tomorrows you can trust until one day, you realize we have found our 50, 60, 70 years together. We love you. I love you. Come back to us, baby. I beg you, don't let us wallow in our guilt anymore", they stayed in peaceful silence until it was time for Booth to take Parker outside, who, before exiting, pressed another tender kiss to her hand, and another to her cheek, smiling sadly at her.

"I'll be right back, baby", he said, and with that, they both left, Max entering silently, discreetly wiping his eyes at Parker and Booth's heartfelt words to his daughter.

If they had truly imagined how much they were reaching her, they would have kept on talking for an eternity.


	11. Chapter 10

_Bren's dream world_

The only thing she was aware of as she woke was the pain she felt in her upper chest, but pain was quickly replaced by distress and heart-stopping fear. She went to move her hand down her abdomen, in a feeble attempt to check if her baby was still inside of her, but when she did, she became aware of a warm, large hand tightly holding hers, followed by the touch of soft, moist lips on her knuckles. She started battling the darkness that had seemed so alluring before, for the promise of more warmth and tenderness in the real world.

The bright lights of her hospital room hurt her eyes, and she started squinting them so she could get used to it without threatening any more pain. She felt a hand brushing her forehead gently, tenderly, and she instinctively inched to find that touch again, following the contact.

"Bones? Baby? Wake up please!", his tender, loving voice called to her, and for his sake, hearing the fear lacing it, she started opening her eyes. A pained groan left her throat, and immediately she felt his hand squeezing hers tighter, the other brushing the strands of hair plastered to her neck, "I'm here, I'm here", he told her, and to please him, she focused on blinking to clear her blurred vision, and when she finally succeeded, the first thing her eyes registered was his warm brown gaze, his eyes red and puffy, tired but filled with love.

"You had no idea how scared you made me", her chest felt tight at the pain in his voice, and even more so at the love shining so clearly in his eyes, "Why, Bones, why did you have to do that?", there was no anger, just raw despair in his pleading, and she felt even more guilty as she realized that, yet again, she was the source of his distress.

"Couldn't…", she croaked out, "Let him… get to you", he shook his head, and desperately brought her hand to his face, rubbing his cheek against it. His afternoon stubble, the slight coarseness of his skin felt oddly comforting, even if rationally, she knew that she would lose him the moment he found out the truth. There was a fuzzy memory of her lying on the sidewalk, of him begging her to hold on, and of her promising she would fight for the sake of their unborn son's life.

She gasped, realizing that she hadn't still asked if her baby was still inside of her, and as if reading her thoughts, he rubbed her cheek with one hand, and nodded, "Hey, hey, calm down. Everything is ok", she tried to croak out her question, but he tenderly pressed his fingers to her lips, and her throat got even more closed when his eyes brimmed with tears and he said, "It wasn't your chest, but your shoulder which got hurt. Ironic, huh? That we now have the same wound", he said softly, and she turned her head to see that indeed, the bandage was in her left upper chest. Her eyes widened, thinking that indeed, she had the matching injury to his. His smile was indulgent as he continued, "He or she, by some miracle, is doing fine. The doctor checked, and thought initially it was in a bit of distress, they are confident that with proper rest and care and food, everything should be fine", her eyes also shone with tears, and with a softness she didn't expect from him, assuming how upset he must be at finding out he was about to become a father again without being informed of the fact, he asked, "Why, Bones, why? Why wouldn't you tell me?", a long silence followed. She could read no anger, just tenderness and a clear need to know the reasons why she had hidden the fact that she was about to give him another child.

She was trying to find the words that would make him see she already loved this baby with all her heart, but that she didn't want to screw up his life and happiness again with this news. "I wanted to", her voice was low and breathy, her pace slow so she could get everything out, "So much. But I was afraid. I know how much Hannah means to you", she licked her dry lips, and swallowed to clear her raspy throat, "I didn't… want to ruin things for you, again", his eyes gave nothing away as he kept them fixed on hers, never wavering, "But Booth, you have to know, despite how he or she came to be, I love this baby, Booth. More than I ever thought possible", his eyes softened at her words, and he turned his head to kiss the hand that he had been holding against his face, closing his eyes.

Her words were like a soothing balm to his soul. A million thoughts had run through his mind when she whispered her confession to him as he held her, and later on as the doctor confirmed his ears hadn't misinterpreted the information. For once second, her reckless behavior had made him think she didn't want the baby, but remembering the look in her eyes as she fainted in his arms, how she had vowed to fight for it, in his heart he knew it couldn't be like that. In his heart and in his mind, there was no doubt the baby was his. He remembered how tight her body had been as he thrust into her and how she had begged him to go slow, as it had been a while, _a long while, _for her, a fact that had awoken every alpha instinct he had, knowing she had been waiting for him, that she had saved her body for him and only him.

When Hannah had come by earlier, there hadn't been a need for words. One glance at him, broken and desperate sitting by her bed and refusing to leave told her everything she needed to know. Now she knew her desperate confession in his SUV had truly wrecked the sense of normalcy they had created. He could see the betrayal and the anger in her emerald gaze, but he could also see the understanding dawning in her eyes, how all the pieces of the puzzle he had never allowed her to see were finally coming together. In that moment, he knew she knew. She knew that while he had always been truthful in saying he loved her, his love for Temperance Brennan would always surpass all other feelings. Her only words had been a broken, "I'll get my stuff out of your place by the time you return. Good luck, Seeley", and with that, she had left his life, just as she had come, like the wind that soothed your senses in a hot afternoon.

He tried to find some guilt inside of him, feeling that he had deceived her somehow, but he knew the real lie would be if he now tried to deny his love for the woman lying in the hospital bed before him. He knew Hannah had sensed something different in him for quite some time, changes that had begun after he had left her warm, soft arms to try and repair what shouldn't have been repaired in the first place, his pitiful attempt to move on.

Now that he knew their love had been so great it had created the tiny miracle bravely fighting for his or her life inside of her, he knew there was no other choice but to wait for her, forever if that is what was needed, until she realized their only chance at happiness was each other.

He swallowed hard, and willed his voice to remain steady while he bent over her, a look of tender adoration on his face, "And I love you", he wasn't holding back anymore, "I'm so sorry you felt you couldn't come to me, and I know it's my fault. I know my sorry attempts to mend things with Hannah made you feel like what we shared that night was not important to me", her teary eyes told him that indeed she had even considered their night together wasn't as life-changing for him as it had been for her, "Because it was. It was the most beautiful moment I've ever lived. Being in your arms… was paradise", he bent over and rained tiny kisses over her face, a tearful, but content sigh leaving her lips at his display of protective tenderness, instead of the anger and rightful indignation she would have expected of him for not being told, "I've been unable to make love to Hannah since I touched you, because you ruined me, Temperance. You ruined me for other women, you made me unable to love anyone else. You've been my world for so long, and in my wounded pride and pain I tried to forget the truth: that I did know, right from the beginning, that my only road to happiness was you. And this baby", his hand moved to her still toned stomach, rubbing soft circles over the taut muscles, "This baby is like a gift for all the pain we've both been through. You hurt me, but I hurt you too. Forgive me", she shook her head, a sad smile on her face as she feebly moved her fingers against his face, inhaling deeply.

"Booth, I understand. I truly do, and I never held it against you. I know you felt you owed it to Hannah to make your relationship work, particularly after… well… after we made love", his heart swelled as she referred to their night together as lovemaking and not simply sex or biological urges, "Despite what you might have thought, it wasn't just sex to me. I never believed I could feel so much, and you proved to me I indeed was able to experience it, feel it all. I wish this baby could have come in different circumstances, _peaceful ones _at least, but I can't… I can't make myself regret that it's here", she moved her free hand to cover his on her lower stomach, "I only wish… I could give it the family she or he deserves", he pressed his forehead against hers, both sharing the same air, until he kissed her temple, and met her eyes again.

"We will. And this is not my guilt talking, or my Catholic upbringing, or that I don't want to have another child out of wedlock. That night, we finally found the courage to express our feelings. And I know these past few weeks I've been hiding from it, but no more. Doesn't matter how long it takes you to trust me again, I'll be with you, all the way, and when you do, we'll build that family together. We'll wake up together every single day, we'll take our children to school, we'll continue to be partners, and I'll make love to you every single day until I forget how to, and then I'll spend the rest of my days relearning your perfect body. We'll grow old, together, we'll become one of those old couples that walk through the parks in the afternoon, holding hands, watching out for the grandkids, sharing the sunset. I'll continue to get lost in your beautiful eyes, wrinkles and all, because not even summer skies are as perfect", her eyes were leaking a steady current of tears at his declaration and at the confidence he showed in the life he was portraying for them both, "And one day, when we're both 90, we go to bed, and simply don't wake up, because that is how we are. One being. Unable to breathe without the other", he stared into her bright eyes, and lowered his head until it was right next to hers on the bed, angling his body so he could get as close to her as possible.

She gave him a teary smile, and letting her head fall against his shoulder, she replied, "I like the sound of that".

B&B&B&B&B&B&B&B&B&B&B&B

Feeling his strong arms around her, as she absentmindedly rubbed her wedding band, she knew that with every single day, he was proving to her that indeed his picture of their life together was more than an idea or wishful thinking. It was a fact. He gave her the hard evidence she needed to believe, and with their child's impending arrival, his protective, tender streak had gone overboard. From refusing to let her into the field anymore, to being there every day, showing up at the lab several times during the day with little treats and snacks, making sure she ate and relaxed even while working, to walking her to every doctor's appointment, from holding her against him every single night, his strong arms wrapped around her middle, sharing in the awe of feeling their child move, their beautiful baby boy growing happily inside her, to refusing to go into the field himself so he could give her the time and attention she deserved.

Their wedding had been private, but beautiful. Only their family and closest friends: Hank, Parker, Max, Russ, Amy and the girls, Cam, Paul and Michelle, Angela, Hodgins and their newborn baby, Caroline, Wendell, Arastoo and Vincent Nigel-Murray. It was certainly a small affair, but filled with true emotion. There wasn't a dry eye in the room when they vowed to love, keep, care and stand by each other for the rest of their lives, and all the women, even Caroline, who had always been the best hotshot, harder-than-steel prosecutor, was teary-eyed when, after the priest pronounced them husband and wife, he gave her a long, sultry kiss, and then bent to kiss her still invisible baby bump over the fabric of her champagne-colored gown. They had headed to Sid's, who was more than happy to keep the restaurant closed for them, and who had generously offered to give them the best wedding meal they would ever find.

After that, they had spent a month trying to find a home for their family until they found a beautiful one-story house that was large enough to accommodate an army, but filled with warmth and that sense of home they had missed for so many years, and craved so badly. Their first fight had occurred when the subject of money and shared accounts came up, but as usual, with her logical mind and down-to-Earth arguments, she won the war and made him cave, though she knew it would take time for him to be really comfortable with the differences in their income. Indeed, he thought he would feel uncomfortable as he knew it was her money making everything possible, but seeing the joy in her bright blue eyes as they signed the papers that made the house theirs, how she immediately began "nesting" and filling their home with small trinkets that made it completely theirs, the awkwardness eventually faded and they finally settled into the life they always dreamed, but never thought they could have. It had surprised them when a bouquet of yellow roses had come from a certain young journalist with a very succinct, but heartfelt card, "_Hope this is the start to the bright future you are meant to have, one family, one hearty. Best wishes. Hannah"._ It was the closure they both needed to finally turn the page on that painful chapter of their lives, and put an end to any guilt they still might have felt regarding her.

"You are so beautiful, you know?", he whispered against her ear, "Every day, you make me fall in love with you even more, if it's possible", she chuckled lightly, her heart warming at his tender words of adoration, which he always muttered every single day, "So you tell me, every day, Seeley", she said, and he kissed her earlobe, making her moan, knowing how sensitive she was, her body taut with need. Ever since she had reached the 8-month mark, her gynecologist had advised against any type of sexual engagement, since it could trigger early labor. At first, she had convinced him to engage in heated make-out sessions that turned to other inventive delights, but after they realized they were getting more and more frustrated by what Angela said was, "Tasting the frosting, but not getting the whole bite", they decided upon it, as her growing midsection made her uncomfortable enough to keep her mind of the rampant desire he always ignited. He knew her hormones had gone haywire, and that her sexual appetite had increased, but that she was trying to be obedient and comply with the doctor's orders.

So they had settled for these quiet moments where their love filled every space, their bond growing stronger, hugs and caresses being their replacement for the desire to melt their bodies against each other.

"It bears repeating, every single day", she placed her hand atop his, moving it to the spot where their baby was moving. "I can't believe we only have to wait a week for him to be here", she nodded.

"I can't either. I'm just glad everything is ready and waiting for him", he kissed her neck softly, "Yeah, I know what you mean. But who could stop Hurricane Angela?", she giggled and surrendered to his loving touches. Ever since news of her pregnancy came out, Angela had appointed herself, "The ever astounding fairy godmother", meaning, she was in charge of decorating the room and following every desire of the mom-to-be. Luckily, Angela had listened to what they both wanted, and with her sense of art and fashion, the end result was idyllic. The room was painted in different shades of green and blue, as they didn't want to follow stereotypes, with animals playing on the walls, dolphins swimming through the clouds and guarding the crib that stood proud in the middle of the room, the antique wooden chair Cam had gifted them with a family relic she gladly passed to them, saying she would be glad to see her godchild be rocked to sleep in that chair.

"Want some pancakes?", he suggested, knowing how bad her heartburn was, and how pancakes were one of the few meals that didn't seem to bother her stomach these days. She nodded eagerly, and turning her onto her back, he dipped his head to sultrily kiss her pink lips until he stole her breath. He followed his ritual, bending to kiss the swell of her belly, and whispering a soft "I love you, baby", he wrapped her in a light throw that would keep her warm while he was gone and leaped from the bed, intent on feeding the woman he loved and their unborn child.

She snuggled against the covers, and let out a contented sigh. She would have never imagined she was capable of so much happiness, that she could have this life. To think she was fighting for her life a few months ago and he wasn't hers still made her all the more appreciative of what she now had. She watched the dancing patterns of the fading sky in the ceiling of their room, her hands moving across the moving bulge, smiling softly. "Only a few days, my love. Only a few", she whispered to her belly, and after a few minutes, the scent of vanilla and syrup reached her nostrils. "Are you hungry, baby?", she got a soft kick that made her chuckle, "Daddy is coming, my sweet", her words seemed to soothe him, and true to her words, a few moments later, Booth entered with a tray, carrying her favorite pancakes, some fruit and orange juice, along with some sausages and eggs for him.

"Breakfast for dinner. This is the life", he said happily, and settled right next to her, both sharing the glow of the miracle that had become every single day together.

B&B&B&B&B&B&B&B

_ICU room_

After he had dropped Parker off outside the ICU with his mother, Booth had returned to sit next to her bed, in silent vigil, just hoping he could somehow lend her part of his strength. He didn't think it was possible, but to him it seemed she now was peacefully sleeping. He could have sworn there was a hint of a smile against her pale lips, like she was having a beautiful dream. He and Max had shared some small talk, but they were both focused on her every reaction while they softly spoke, before they really let themselves get carried away.

"She looks so peaceful, doesn't she?", Max said, as he stretched in the chair a nurse had kindly brought for him.

"She does. It's such a contrast to how she looked earlier. I can only hope she's dreaming of something beautiful", he remembered how perfect his dream world had been during his coma, and even if he had to deal with the heartache of knowing his dream was nothing like the reality he had to live through when he woke, for a few blissful moments, he had felt the happiness of a life filled with the love of his Bones.

"Booth? I know it's not my place to ask, but did you..?", Max felt uncomfortable, but he needed to know where the agent stood in regards to his daughter. As a father, he needed to know she would have the man she loved to back her up, because he knew that without him, her road to recovery would be much, much longer and painful.

"Yeah, Max", Booth replied, his eyes never leaving her prone form, "I fixed things. She was… angry and hurt. She… I don't think she truly understands what it means to me that it was up to Bones to save Parker, Max. I don't think she gets what it did to me to see how she slowly let go of my son's hand while Bones made her way to him, to _save him"_, he sighed tiredly, and Max nodded, feeling sad for the man before him. As a man, he understood Booth and his attempt to move on, but what he couldn't understand is how that woman hadn't realized the value little Parker Booth had to his father, to everyone at the lab.

"I know what you must be feeling. It must be painful to realize the woman you love is not on the same page, regarding… some things", he replied, and Booth nodded, thankful for Max's discretion.

"I… When I decided to introduce them, I did it because I thought Hannah would become part of my future, Max. But… she was just looking for a good time. I know she loves me, in her own way, but what Bones did? That _IS _real love. To give her life for my son, even if I've been a total jackass to her lately", Booth didn't fear Max's reaction, as they had made amends during the long hours of their vigil, their devotion towards her bonding them and leading them to forgiveness.

"You're right. In her way, she just loves you, and knowing you, I'm sure you never lied to her, you never hid the fact that Parker would always come first", Max rubbed his hands over her feet, warming them, massaging the soles, and he swore a smile wanted to burst forth on her face, "My little girl has always said she's not good with kids, but she was perfect with your son. That's why he adores her. Booth", the men shared a look, and Max gave him a pained smile, "You know her, even better than I do. She's had no one to look out for her, the way you have, after we left. She's afraid to trust, to put her happiness in someone else's hands. She relates love to pain, not to joy, but despite that, she learned to trust you. She just needs you to hang in there, and be patient", Booth nodded.

"Don't need to tell me that. I'm willing to wait my entire life for her. I already made the mistake of… getting desperate and rushing things, but I know she loves me. I know that I'm not alone in this emotion, and that will give me the strength to wait for her. All I want is to take care of her, and make certain she knows she'll never be alone", Max nodded, while he continued with his massage, pleased that at least, the man before him had realized his mistake and was willing to mend both their broken hearts.

B&B&B&B

_Bren's dream world_

She had her head against the cushion, moaning delightedly at the motion on her feet.

"Your mother also loved her foot rubs, baby", she chuckled. She had been complaining of swollen feet during the past weeks, and Max had decided to pamper his little girl while Booth prepared their Sunday lunch. It felt divine how her father's hands traced every sinew and muscle, how he made certain she was relaxed before moving to a different location, "Particularly with you. Doctors wanted to take you out when a week before your due date passed and you weren't showing signs of wanting to come out", he smiled at her, and rubbed his thumbs over her swollen ankles. Henry Seeley was 10 days overdue, and making his parents desperate, "She was desperate, but she didn't let them get you out. She said you would come out when you felt it was time. 11 days after her due date, you decided to grace us with your presence in the middle of the night. Kept your mother awake during the whole night, and were born at dawn", she smiled softly at him. She loved how her father told her stories about the time when her mother was pregnant with her. He had started about 3 months ago, right after Booth found her crying in her bed, holding a picture of her mother against her chest. He didn't need to be a genius to figure out his wife was missing the guidance that could only come from her mother in these moments, and he had called Max so he could try and fill in those blanks that still remained in her wounded heart. Those stories had served to let her see it was ok to doubt herself, to be fearful, but that the most important thing would be the love she would share with her husband and child. "That's why we called you Joy, since after 11 days and 7 hours of waiting, she was only glad to have you in her arms", they laughed softly together, enjoying the peace of these moments, but above all, reminiscing about the past without feeling the pain that would come with the longing.

Booth smiled, perched against the doorframe, seeing his wife being pampered by her father. He knew how badly she had needed to truly forgive her father, and let him be there for her, to love her the way she deserved. Her pleased smile told him how glad she truly was to have the reformed crook there, being close to her, fulfilling his role.

"Are you two ready for lunch, or are you in need of more pampering?", he teased as he leaned to kiss her bent forehead.

"I'm hungry", she pouted, and he laughed, kissing her lips from his upturned position.

"No wonder you are. What was the last time you ate? 1 hour ago?", she huffed, but another kiss erased her indignation. He was happy she was indulging in her cravings. She ate so little normally it was a delight to see her give in to the urges of all pregnant women like she was supposed to, though true to herself, she always chose healthy snacks, her only indulgence the cherry pie she was surprisingly taken with and the chocolate cake and ice-cream she loved.

"As the alpha-male of this house, it is your duty to keep your mate, namely me, well-fed and happy so your offspring is born strong and alpha-male as well. So, Food!", she said playfully, and he leaned to kiss her again, sharing in the love and peace of the Sunday afternoon.

"No need to bellow, dearest. Everything is ready", Max placed her sandals back on, gently doing the straps, and Booth gave her his hand for support so she could stand.

When they started to make their way to the kitchen, a pained gasp and the sound of rushing liquid made them stop in their tracks. They both turned to find her with a hand on her lower belly, scared but elated, "I think Henry Seeley is finally ready", they smiled and rushed to drive her to the hospital.

Instead of the frantic rushing and scared driving they thought would accompany them, everything had gone surprisingly calm. They knew they were ready, so they didn't have any reason to fear. The squints were outside, arriving after Booth texted Angela to tell her her godson had finally decided to grace them with his presence, and ask her to let everyone know. She had braved every contraction, and accepted the process of labor with calm. It hurt Booth to see her in pain, knowing there was nothing for him to do except letting her know he would be there for her.

After a particularly long and painful contraction ended, she tiredly fell on the pillows. He fed her ice chips, and caressed her sweaty bangs away from her forehead, staring into tired blue eyes.

"Thank you, Seeley", she panted, and he bent to kiss her forehead lovingly, "I'm so glad you're here, with me", he squeezed her hand, and nodded, eyes moist.

"It is I who have to thank you, Temperance. You're gifting me with a new son, to love and cherish. You married me, and have made me the happiest man alive", he kissed her lips tenderly.

The doctor came in, and after a brief physical, they were ready to take her to the delivery room.

After everything was sorted out, and everyone was ready, the doctor instructed her to push.

"1…2…3…4…5… Come on, Temperance, 6…7…8…9…10", she fell against his chest, and he wiped her forehead with a cool cloth, rubbing it down her overheated skin. He was perched behind her, making sure she was positioned correctly.

"I'm so sorry, Seeley", he frowned as she turned pained eyes to face him, "I don't know how I ever thought I could do this without you", he gave her a tender smile, and shook his head.

"You could have. I know. You are the strongest woman I know", she whimpered pathetically, "I can't… Please… I can't…So tired", he kissed her temple and replied, "Come on, baby. Just a few pushes, and it'll be ok".

She inhaled deeply, and squeezing his hand, she nodded to the doctor, and followed the count, but she felt a sharp pain ripping through her halfway through it, different from the contractions, and felt something warm coming out of her.

"Shit!", the doctor said, and from her position, she could see his hands covered in blood. Her eyes welled with tears, and grasped Booth's hand tighter.

"Placental… abruption?", the doctor nodded, and the tears leaked from her eyes, "Do it. Do it now!", she commanded, and the doctor nodded again, a somber look on his face that told Booth how serious things could get.

"We´re doing an emergency c-section. Move!", he instructed to the rest of the team, "Seeley", he said, looking at Booth seriously, "You better step outside", but she snapped at the doctor with blue fire in her eyes, and looked at her husband with despair in her eyes.

"No! He stays. I'm not going to submit him to wait outside, not knowing what's happening to me or to our son. Do it. But he has to be here. I need him here", the doctor let out a resigned sigh. He had gotten to know her, and by this point he had learned it was pointless to argue with her. Besides, he had noticed her husband had kept her calm during the whole process, and with a slight nod, he replied.

"Ok. He stays. Seeley, you need to stand right next to her head after you scrub your hands from the elbow down", Booth instantly moved from the gurney to the sinks outside the delivery room, doing as instructed, and when he returned, he found a chair the nurse had brought him so he could sit, and the doctor had swiftly lowered the gurney until she was flat on her back. They were setting everything at lightning speed, a rush of doctors running around. He held her hand while the anesthesiologist stuck a needle in her spine, and before he knew it, a curtain was blocking his view of her swollen stomach.

"Temperance. Feel anything?", he could see the doctor poking her stomach with a sharp scalpel. She shook her head, "I feel you're touching me, but it doesn't hurt", she replied, and after that, they all set to work.

"Are you ok, babe?", she nodded weakly, and stared at him, "Does it hurt?", he asked, and she shook her head.

"I feel them working on me, but it's not painful. I'm just scared. I want… I want to hear him cry, Booth", she said, tears pooling in her blue gaze, and he kissed her forehead softly, trying his best to hide the fact that he was as scared as she was.

"He'll be fine, baby. He's our son, and he's a fighter, just like us", he turned his eyes to the clock. Only 4 minutes had passed since everything started going south, and he was surprised when her hand made contact with his Saint Christopher's medal.

"I guess", she said tearfully, "This is a good time to start believing. Pray, Seeley. I need you to", he was shocked to the core by her request, knowing that for her to be asking him to pray she had to be really scared, but he nodded, and bent his head to press his forehead against hers, his mouth moving in silent prayer, their grip on each other's hand painfully tight.

2 minutes later, the doctor said, "Lori? I'm about to take him out", he had been briefly introduced to the pediatrician that would be in charge of the baby once he was born, and his wife nodded, "Go, look. Tell me", Booth stood, but didn't relinquish his grip on her hand as he stood and peeked over the curtain they had over her belly, and smiled, "Bones, his little arm", he said, clearly in awe, and not at all phased by the blood and sight of her open body, "He's so big", he squeezed her hand, his eyes telling her what she needed to know.

"And he's out", the doctor said, passing him to the nurse, who enfolded him in a blue blanket and instantly rushed him to the side, the doctor and 2 residents next to her as she massaged his chest and cleared his airway, "Come on, Henry. Give us a big cry", Booth was torn between wanting to go see and not wanting to release his wife's hand.

"Go, Seeley. Go to him", she begged him, and he gave her a furious, passionate kiss before he released her hand, and saw the doctors working on his boy. Like magic, when he stood next to them and said, "Come on, my sweet boy. Cry for us. Mommy needs to hear you", he let out a screech, followed by a long cry, clearly upset at being cold and out of his mother's womb.

His eyes welled with tears, and through them he saw the doctor shared triumphant smiles with her residents, as they continued working on him for a few more minutes, "Apgar is 10, 5 minutes after birth", they continued to clean him, and after that, the nurse took a new clean blanket, and made sure he was warm, turning to Booth with the blue bundle in her arms.

"Would you like to hold him, Daddy?", Booth's smile was enough answer, and she carefully transferred the wriggling baby to his father, who was looking at him in awe.

"Hey, Henry. I'm dad", he said, his lump thick with emotion, "You're so beautiful!", he whispered, caressing his tiny fist, "So perfect. Gave us quite the scare, uh?", his heart was swelling with love, and he turned to his wife, scared for her, as he heard the doctors speak among themselves, "Blood pressure is steady. Clamping", he tuned them out as he saw her try to peek out, and he instantly made his way to her side. Her eyes leaked a steady current of tears as he sat next to her, her hand shaking when she moved it to caress their baby boy's head.

"This beautiful, amazing lady here is your mommy", he whispered, "Say hi, Henry", he instructed, and the baby cooed as he felt Brennan's hands on his fist, as Booth partially placed him on her chest so he could feel her warmth.

"He's so beautiful", she whispered, a watery smile on her lips as she watched their son, caressing his tiny body as best as she could, kissing the crown of his head repeatedly, and like if on cue, he opened to show them big, brown eyes, the same shade of his father.

"Seeley, look! He has your eyes", they were so dark they were almost black, and they both smiled through tears, awed at the miracle they had made.

They were so lost they didn't notice the doctors moving until her doctor came to her, a tired smile on his lips, "Temperance, Seeley", they turned their eyes to them, "Luckily, we were able to catch the abruption right after it started. We stopped the bleeding quite fast, thankfully, and the baby wasn't deprived of oxygen. We cleaned everything, and stemmed the bleeding. Your uterus wasn't regaining its tone initially, but after a few moments, it recovered. We're moving you to the recovery room to keep an eye on you, and if nothing happens after 2 hours, we'll move you to a private room, ok?", they nodded, "This little guy has to go take his first bath and take him to the nursery. Perhaps daddy wants to come and help?", Booth was torn, but as always, his wife made the choice for him.

"I can't be there, but I'll feel much better if you're with him. After you're done, you can come and tell me all about it", Booth nodded, and gave her another bruising, tender kiss to which she replied wholeheartedly.

"I love you, Bones. So much. Thank you for giving me this", she smiled tiredly, and nodded, "I do love you too, Seeley", they joined hands until it was time to let go, but this time the goodbye was filled with the promise of the future awaiting.

As promised, 2 hours after her stay in recovery, she was brought to a private room. With all the press following her due to her celebrity status, she didn't want her son's birth to become a circus, so she had decided to arrange for a private room in advance so they could have the space they needed to enjoy this moment.

She was looking out the window, when a smiling Booth came in followed by a nurse moving a small basin. She gasped, and extended her arms, wanting to hold her baby against her. Booth leaned over their baby, and carefully took him in his arms. He transferred the small bundle into her arms, and her eyes instantly pooled with tears, her hands gently tracing every inch of him.

"He's perfect, Booth", he smiled, sitting right next to her, their hips touching as he placed his arm around them, "How can I love him this much already?", she said, chuckling between her tears, "He's so big", she said, realizing perhaps it was his size that had made it so difficult for her to deliver him.

"Yep. 10 pounds of joy, Bones", she smiled, watching his strong body.

"He'll be as tall as you", she judged, "His bones are particularly large for a newborn. He certainly exceeds the average", she smiled, staring into his eyes, a rush of warmth filling her as she traced his soft lips and he instantly started sucking at the pad of her finger.

"It seems he's already hungry", she had decided she would breastfeed him, knowing it would benefit them both, both physically and emotionally, as they bonded. The nurse had helped her change into a nightgown with a front opening so the process would be more comfortable, along with a nursing bra. Her lower stomach was in pain, but nothing was more important than caring for her baby.

"Hold him for a second, please?", Booth took the baby in his arms with expert ease, and saw as she undid the tiny buttons of her white cotton nightgown. She looked so beautiful to him, with a glow that wouldn't go away, even if she still looked exhausted. She unclipped her nursing bra, and after arranging the pillows behind her slowly, she received the baby back into her arms, who was already whimpering in hunger.

She struggled a bit, but after a bit of teasing his lips, and following the instructions she had received during her prenatal classes, the baby latched on, clearly hungry for his mother's milk.

"Seeley, look! He's eating", she said, her voice filled with emotion. He beamed, and caressed the baby's tiny forehead, seeing him greedily suck from his mother's breast.

"Hungry little lion", he teased, and he chuckled. Their eyes met, and he couldn't help but lean in and kiss her like his life depended on it, as he continued to hold the baby's head protectively.

"I don't know what I did to deserve you, Booth", she smiled, her eyes moist and wide, "But I love you. I love you", she vowed, and they shared another passionate kiss.

"And I you, Temperance. I love you", they settled to watch little Henry, and wait until their little family came to share in the new addition to their squad.

B&B&B&B&B&B

She blinked her eyes against the brightness of the light, her cheek damp, and she moving a shaky hand to wipe them away as she kneeled before the pathway.

"Did you see everything you needed to see?", she turned to find her mother's intense blue stare.

"I can't… I can't believe that degree of happiness is possible", Christine kneeled next to her, and caressed her bangs away from her face, smiling softly.

"Temperance", she began, "That degree of happiness is possible, if you open your heart to it, if you don't let your fear overrule your desire to have the family you were deprived of", her voice was soft and soothing, "I told you, at the beginning, this is the way your mind chose to show you how different your life will be depending on the choices you make. You've seen what can happen, you're living it, what happens when pride and fear rule us. Your walls have been your safety net for most of your life, you've hidden behind them so no one can hurt you. The thing is, no one can reach you either. Your mind knows this, and it rules you so strongly you can't let go. Those chemicals coursing through your body is your heart reacting to the truth you've seen here. In this limbo, you've felt him, felt his love and his presence. Your heart has hoped that deep inside, his love for you remains untouched. But you won't ever know it. It's time to stop hiding, my sweet Tempe, and let someone else heal your wounds. He failed you, he made mistakes but he's right there next to you. If you find it in yourself to let go of the anger and disappointment, as you did with us, you can have the life you deserve. ", her eyes were pooling with tears, hearing her mother speak.

"Rationally, I know you're not real, you can't be", Christine smiled.

"As I told you before, your mind chose me because, even if I left, the thought of me always comforted you and made you feel safe. You idealized me somehow, and inside yourself, I was the only one to lead you through this journey", Christine caressed her cheeks softly, "You want to wake, and you know he's there. Whether one of these paths becomes a reality is up to you. You've said it yourself, Temperance. We are not victims of our fate. We make our own destiny. Then, let go, so you can have the destiny you deserve my love".

She leaned in, and kissed her forehead, and tenderly brought her to her chest, "This certainty will always follow you, that you are loved, that you can and deserve to be loved, but you have to fight now. Open your eyes, my sweet baby girl", she whispered, and again, everything became white.

B&B&B&B&B&B

_ICU room_

Booth was softly caressing her cheeks, entranced by the peaceful glow that seemed to radiate from her. Even the nurse had commented how calm she was looking, and that her color seemed better. He felt validated as he confirmed it wasn't just his wishful thinking, and he hadn't stopped caressing her face nor kissing her hand. They had removed her breathing tube 4 hours ago, when they were certain she was breathing on her own, not wanting to subject her to the trauma of doing it while she was awake.

"I love you, baby. I love you so much", he said for the millionth time, but instead of being met with silence, a pained groaned made his head snap.

"Bones, Bones?", he stood up and squeezed her hand, "Bones, baby, wake up. I'm here. I'm here", he vowed, and he saw her eyelids flutter, as if she was trying to come up for air.

"Temperance. Please, wake up", he pleaded, and with a heavy inhalation, blue eyes met his, making him gasp at the raw emotion he could see in them. Pain, hope, despair, confusion, but above all, love was shining in those blue depths.

He saw her instantly trying to speak and he squeezed her hand harder, "Booth?", tears fell from her eyes like heavy diamonds tracing her porcelain skin, "Booth", she said his name like she couldn't believe he was there, next to her, her voice raspy and thick. He waited long moments, seeing her eyes clear from the confusion, but never leaving his. She seemed like she had been drowning and was again rejoicing in the ability to breath, making him shudder as he remembered how it felt when he pulled her from the grave Taffet had intended for her. He didn't know how much time had passed, but her only words to him were a whispered, pleading "Don't… go. Don't ever go… please", she croaked out painfully, and he shook his head, kissing her knuckles repeatedly.

"Never again. Never again, Bones. I won't leave you… Don't speak, I'm here", he pressed his forehead against hers, and that's how Max found them, his eyes also pooling as he saw his daughter strongly gripping Booth's hand, like he was her last resource, foreheads touching, sharing the same air.

With a relieved heart, he made his way to the nurse's desk, knowing the time for answers would be coming soon, but wanting to prolong this moment of silent union for them as long as he could.


	12. Chapter 11

**First of all, ever-present disclaimer. Nothing is mine. Zilch, zero, nada, nothing, rien de tout. Everything belongs to HH, SN and Fox. I just use them for fun. **

**I have to continue thanking those of you who have reviewed and/or added me to your alerts/favorites. It humbles me that you have continued to be on this ship… It's all a writer wants. Thus, the long chappie.**

**As usual, all comments are accepted into good stride.**

**Again, I want to make something clear. I know that to many, Brennan is OOC, but in truth, if the series had continued exploring the meltdown she had on 6x09, the path would have turned out to be much darker. I seriously think that for someone who has so many difficulties in opening up and expressing feelings, the weight of rejection and realizing what they have lost, but not being able to do something about it is much harder than for people who can share their emotions openly and fight for what they want. Brennan is emotionally scarred and scared (pardon the play on words, hihi!), and it would be much harder for her to move on and accept what was happening to her, even if all the episodes leading to these made her seem cool and aloof (see, I did it again!) For example, that final scene in 6x02 when they leave her alone or that sad look she was so valiantly trying to hide in 6x03 when she realizes Booth wasn't thanking her… to me, all signs of the shell beginning to crack.**

**Well, now that I've bothered you enough, let's continue…**

The nurses and doctors had swiftly entered the room after Max told them his daughter had regained consciousness. Booth's heart broke as she whimpered when he had to let go of her hand so the doctors and nurses could work on her, but despite the people hovering over her, he continued reassuring her, with soothing words, that he would only leave her side when she did ask him to. The moment the doctors finished their exams, he instantly rushed to her side, and held her hand as he again took his seat by her side.

The doctors were pleased as the exams proved she hadn't suffered lasting neurological damage, but they had decided to keep her in the ICU for another day for observation, and move her to a private room when they were absolutely certain she was completely stable. They assessed her wound, and dressed it, Booth's chest clenching as he saw the pain she felt as they passed the gauzes and antibiotic wipes across her scarred skin, and closed his eyes, not even the slightest bit regretful that it had been his hand that had taken Taffet's life. He knew he needed to go to confession, because the pain his Bones had suffered was enough to erase any notion of repentance for him to be forgiven.

"Booth?", she asked tiredly, and he instantly replied, "What, Bones? What is it?", he caressed her forehead softly, letting her take her time.

"Parker?", he nodded, knowing she needed to know her effort had been for nothing, "He was here earlier, Bones. He's ok. You saved him, there's not a scratch on him", he said tenderly, "He was worried sick about you, but he had the faith we all needed. He said you wouldn't leave us, and he was right".

"I was so scared…", she rasped out, and seeing the look in his eyes, pained and vulnerable, she continued, "I need to… get this out", she said, "When I saw Taffet aiming for him, I was scared in a way I had never been before, not even when I was faced with Kenton or even when Taffet buried me underground. The mere idea… of her hurting him… I couldn't breathe, Booth", he leaned and kissed her forehead with all the tenderness he could muster. If his heart hadn't feel like it was about to burst from the moment he saw her lunge her body in harm's way so Parker would be spared, her words were enough to lead him to the breaking point. "I couldn't let her hurt… your little boy. I know he's not mine… But the need I felt to protect him… was so instinctual", she didn't want to hurt him, but she had to be honest. "I don't know how, but somehow I realized Hannah's instinctual response was letting go of him, and I knew… I knew he was the target Taffet had chosen to take her revenge on us. She knew, Booth… that it would kill the both of us if she succeeded", Booth pressed his forehead against hers and spoke.

"I saw everything. I saw how you tried to taunt her so her attention was on you, and you're right, Bones. She chose Parker, knowing what it would do to me, _to us, _if she won", he inhaled deeply, responding with the same honesty he could see in her crystalline blue depths, "I won't deny it, Bones, it broke my heart when I saw Hannah letting go of him", he admitted, "But when I saw you reach out to him, I knew, inside me, he would be fine", she could see both the pain he felt at acknowledging the woman he currently loved hadn't stepped up to the challenge as he expected her to, and the admiration, and perhaps even tenderness, he felt towards her. However, she feared that all he felt was provoked by a rush of gratitude.

"I'm sorry", she swallowed, "I am so sorry… Booth", he shook his head, "I never… mean to hurt you".

"No, no, no, Bones. You got it all wrong. I have a million reasons to thank you, you saved my little boy. What broke my heart was realizing Hannah was never as invested in our relationship as I was. I trusted her with the thing I value, love the most, and she failed me", he said, staring into saddened blue eyes, tainted with remorse and sympathy.

"Did you… Booth", she sighed so she could gather her thoughts and say the right thing, "I know you love her… and I hope things are ok between you once the initial shock this all provoked fades and you can think more clearly. You might be angry at her, but you need to be aware that perhaps she was just scared, and… reacted out of instinct, as she hasn't been… around Parker that much for their bond to become as strong as you desire", she tried to fix things for him. She hated that he was in pain again, her heart filled with distress as she remembered how she had begged Hannah not to delude him if she wasn't truly determined to give Booth all of her, how she had tried to make Hannah realize that Booth would give all of him to her, and that his heart would be crushed if things between them didn't succeed when she had gone to her office to ask her for advice on a welcoming gift for her moving with Booth.

"You can't give me that, Temperance", he whispered, startling her as he went for her given name, "Because then, your instinct was to protect him, not to save yourself. Things are over between Hannah and I", hearing her low, startled gasp, he quickly clarified, "Bones, I'm sad things ended like this, because a part of me did truly love her, but looking back at things, I'm not sad that they did", seeing her confused expression, he chuckled lightly, "What I mean is, a part of me always knew, even if I was trying to deny it, you're _it _for me, Bones, I'm still that guy, and though I did love Hannah, my love for you is a thousand times greater and stronger", her eyes pooled with tears, "I know right now the only thing on your mind should be healing and getting better, but I want you to know that when you get out of here, no matter how long it takes me, I'm going to fight for our 30, 40, 50 years together, and you're not going to stop me, and no matter how hard you fight me, I'm going to prove to you we can be good together, we can be happy together, and you're going to let me, ok?", he smiled sheepishly at her, but his voice was filled with such certainty, she couldn't help but smile slightly as much as she could in her condition; however, there was still a weariness around her heart that didn't let her go of the rein she had on her emotions completely. She had been too hurt, and her survival instinct was kicking in, even if her metaphorical heart was grasping at anything that might give her the hope that all was not lost.

Booth saw a million emotion cross through her eyes, and he saw them sparkle with something undecipherable as he spoke of a happy future together; but there was a also a tint of fear of letting go, and he knew it was the past months that had done that to her. He knew that she was afraid of trusting him with her heart, and he couldn't blame her, because he had failed her in all possible ways. He had made her scared again of love and of her emotions.

"I would like that, Booth, because I've missed you, so very much", she rasped out, and he lowered his head, pain filling his chest as he realized how badly he had hurt them both with his choices. She had rejected him, out of fear, but she had never given up on him, she had never stopped being his friend and partner, and despite the fact that he was shoving his relationship with Hannah in her face, she had remained loyal and brave, right next to him.

"Me too. And I promise you, when you're better, we'll talk some more, and start fixing things", he vowed, and that earned him another tight smile, but a smile nonetheless.

He saw her eyes drop, the doctors had given her some painkillers during their examination, knowing she would become aware of the pain in her tender neck soon, and he smiled as he saw her try to fight the wave of sleepiness.

"Don't fight it", he whispered, "Sleep, my Bones. I'll be here when you wake, and every day after that", now she gave him a loopy, drugged smile, but her eyes were shinning with emotion.

"I know. It's just so disconcerting that all I've done these days is sleep… But I'll see you in my dreams, Booth", her head started falling to the side, and she gave in to the pull of the drugs; surrendering to sleep didn't seem so enticing anymore because she knew she had much to wake up for. Though she knew the hard truths she needed to tell him hadn't been said yet, she was determined to recover her strength and set the record straight so they could have the future they deserved.

B&B&B&B&B&B&B&B&B

As the doctors had promised, given that her condition had remained stable, the next day she was moved to a private room. Despite his protests that he couldn't leave her, Booth had been called away to give his statement on what had happened, for the official record, as he had not only fired his weapon, but taken a life, though they were all certain no one was going to blame him of excessive use of force where Taffet was concerned. Max had been hovering over her in case she needed anything, but he had wisely decided to let her ruminate on her thoughts while they waited for Booth to return, and did not engage her in conversation. The doctors had told them it was best to hold the visits for another day, since she was still in pain and weak from the blood loss. It reminded them that having survived such a serious wound had been nothing but a strike of good luck. When she was finally in her room, and she was not under the effects of heavy sedation, she had asked them to explain what happened to her, and she could only conclude, as Booth would say, that it was a miracle that she was still between the living and breathing. She had had a very narrow escape, and it was perhaps another proof that she was running out of chances to make her life what she truly wanted it to be. Even if she had been living the life she expected, she had realized that it was not turning out to be the life she wanted.

Her silence was also brought on by the fact that she was still trying to make sense of everything her vivid dream had awoken inside her. As the empiricist and rationalist she had always prided herself to be, she knew that what she had seen could be nothing but her ailing brain finding an outlet for the stress her body had been subjected to, physically and emotionally. However, despite the rational outtake of her thoughts, there was also the startling realization that whether it was a rush of chemicals triggering emotions and images within her brain, all the images and emotions she had felt were very much real and valid, and she was shaken by them.

Analyzing every pathway shown to her, she could only accept them for being true. She was aware that if she and Booth continued on the same pathway they had been threading for the past months, eventually, there would come a point when they would no longer find their way to each other. She was very much aware that they had been slowly but steadily pulling away, even more since her tearful confession in his SUV, and the subsequent rejection she had gotten as an answer. She knew him, and she knew his response hadn't been born out of a sense of petty revenge against her for her previous refusal of him; it was his loyalty towards the woman he was currently involved with that had also made him say no to her. Booth was completely loyal, and that sense of loyalty prevented him from lying or cheating on someone he had feelings for, particularly for someone as invested in finding the truth as he was. If he had accepted her advances, he wouldn't have responded as the Booth she knew and loved. However, the coldness she had sensed in him that night was what had truly shaken her, and made her realize that indeed, she had missed her chance with him. It had also given her a glimpse into a Booth she didn't know, as she couldn't deny either the hurt she felt as she saw him pulling away from their chosen family, and how he had extricated himself from many important moments. She couldn't forget the guilt either, as she blamed herself, knowing this was the result of a long chain of events that had started when she started considering running away from her emotions.

But despite their friendship, which had held on due to some strange miracle, the strain of keeping the façade to mask the pain they were both carrying for their mistakes regarding one another would end up breaking them up for good. Eventually he could come to see that Hannah was the better choice for him in the end, and forget about her and leave her.

However, she had once read that loving someone wasn't about what was best for you, but finding the person your heart beat the most for. And for her, Booth was exactly that. Perhaps Hannah was the better choice for him: she was emotionally healthy, socially adept, beautiful and smart, but despite the awareness of her own emotional handicaps, she knew Hannah couldn't love Booth the way she did. She just knew that Hannah would never be able to make a sacrifice like the one she had just been doing for months so he was happy, renouncing everything so he found the life he wanted for himself, not speaking a word about her desires so his peace wasn't disrupted. Except her outburst after he saved her from being run by a car: she had blamed herself heavily as she realized how she had lost the control she had always had over her actions and emotions, but at that point, she knew she owed to him and to herself to, for once, speak from the bottom of her metaphorical heart, and bare herself before him. She realized that Hannah and her were very much alike, that they both went after what they wanted, but in her case, she had refrained from doing exactly so regarding Booth, just because she thought it was the best for him.

She was surprised to find such clarity as, like in a movie, she recalled perfectly succession of images in her dream. She recalled perfectly that "her mother" had told her that she wasn't an apparition, that indeed, her brain had found a safe outlet to show her what would eventually happen if her choices leaned towards one side or the other. And she couldn't deny that logically, what had she had been presented could eventually happen, because in either case, it was the logical scenario.

She had fought tears as she recalled the beauty of their reality together, of how perfectly their lives had entwined to create a harmony of emotion and love, how, as with everything between them, they had worked side by side to create a family that was proverbially the stuff dreams were made of. She had also had the presence of mind to realize that perfection didn't mean they didn't find many bumps along the way, but that in the process of overcoming them, their hands never let go, their paths never strayed, and they had prevailed. Comparing it to the heartbreak the other side of her dream reality had shown her, what she had seen could only be heaven. Seeing Booth being happy without her, only to die in her arms afterwards, both filled with an insurmountable amount of regrets as they both realized they had wasted their lives wrapped up in wounded pride and pain, made her realize that her decision to tell him what she felt wasn't wrong after all. She still didn't want to die with regrets, but still, she needed to protect what was left of her heart, at least while he made clear what ground they were standing on.

She was thankful for the brief respite she had gotten as Booth had been called away to give his statement. She had seen his distress over breaking his promise not to leave her bedside, but she had gently, but persistently, encouraged him to go home, take a shower, shave and rest while she bonded with Max. While all of that was true, she also needed a few moments to herself so she didn't break down in front of him. Now that she could think more clearly, she knew that before she gave in to her emotions, they had to make things clear. The initial rush of emotions that met them as she first woke up and they realized they still had another chance for a future had passed, and she needed to keep her mind clear so they didn't make another mistake.

She was certain that she wasn't about to rationalize her emotions for him again, however, she knew they needed to set things straight. Deep inside, she feared that this sudden need and devotion he was showing her was only brought on by gratitude for saving Parker, and anger at Hannah for failing to act as his son's protector. It was a rational fear, since only short weeks ago he had rejected her openly, saying Hannah "wasn't a consolation prize", and that indeed, he loved her.

She couldn't deny either that before they left for the opposite sides of the world, he had told her he had been certain they were leading towards finally acknowledging what they felt for each other, that asking her to give them a shot hadn't been born out of nowhere, and as a woman, she could understand he had seen her rejection as lack of love on her behalf, and she could even see how he would think he was the only one investing his emotions in their relationship, and give up on the idea accordingly.

She remembered how he had vowed he would fight for their 30, 40 or 50 years together right after she woke, and her heart leaped when she recalled how he had said things had ended with Hannah, and that he had loved her, all in past tense, meaning that during her slumber, something had happened between them. Knowing him, she was aware he must have been angry as he had allowed himself to trust Hannah with Parker. She was also painfully aware that he must be blaming himself, as her time with Parker had been cut drastically short as Booth had been so determined to include Hannah in everything, making a statement to her and the world that he was doing everything to make that relationship work.

What she was hurt about was that Hannah hadn't realized how privileged she was to have such amazing men in her life, the gift she was receiving of being loved by them. She had never wanted children until she met Parker, and then, after dealing with the heartbreak that meant having to give up baby Andy to the Grants, she had realized she had only been stifling her maternal instinct inside, and even more, her instinct to have a family of her own. The gist was that the only man she saw herself having that family with was Booth. That was why she had dared ask him to give her his sperm for a child: she could now accept that she had asked him because she wanted a part of him with her, for always, and at that point in time, she wasn't ready to admit that her love for him was already taking root inside her heart.

Max, unable to stand the heavy silence around them, seeing her stare aimlessly out the window, gently took her hand, and rubbed it, feeling how cold it still was, though not as cold as it had been when she was stuck in a limbo somewhere between life and death.

"What's got you thinking so hard honey?", he asked softly, and she turned tired blue eyes on him, and tried to give him a shaky smile, happy that she had him with her to get her through this.

"Everything. It's just that lately I've realized the life I've built for myself, while it is exactly what I expected it to be, is turning out to be… ", knowing she could trust Max with the information, she continued, "somewhat empty. I mean, I'm the most successful in my field, but… Lately, I've felt so… alone", she said, "Everyone has been building their lives, moving forward, and I feel like I'm stuck in the same place while everyone… evolves", she needed to admit this to someone, and she knew that her father could be very understanding, without judging her.

He nodded thoughtfully, "I get what you mean. Everyone is finding their own way, and you feel like you were left behind, that all those changes happened and you weren't involved", she nodded shakily, and he shook his head, his heart breaking for his little girl, "And the one who hurts you the most is Booth, isn't he?", her eyes filled with tears, and he tenderly brought her hand to his lips, and kissed it.

He inhaled deeply, "Honey, I don't know if I will ever truly earn your forgiveness", seeing her confused look, he continued, "Leaving you behind was the hardest thing I ever did. When your mother told me it was the only choice, that it was the only way so you and Russ could be safe, I initially refused, but it came to a struggle between saving your lives and risking your happiness. And your mother and I could only hope that as long as you were together, someday you would both heal, but what she didn't count on was that Russ would leave; out of the two of you, you were the one who suffered the most", he wiped the tears that were falling from her eyes, "I know all of us leaving we made you fearful of loving, of opening yourself. You were socially awkward, and it wasn't easy for you to relate to people, but with us, you were always so open, so… full of life… And it has always hurt me to see what our abandonment did to you. But you need to get past that, and you need Booth is a good man, sweetheart, he truly is. Though as a man, I understand why he would go and find somebody else, as your father, I hate him for the pain he put you through", he said softly, and she shook her head.

"It's not like that, Daddy", the term surprised him, but it warmed his heart as he realized how low her guard finally was around him, and it made him ache as he realized how scared she must have been, "He asked me for a chance, but I turned him down. I… I only wanted his happiness, and I wasn't sure… I am still not sure if I'm capable of giving him that happiness, that commitment. He has suffered much in life, he has his own wounds as well", she licked her dry lips, "And I want to give myself to him, but I am scared", she confessed, "I want to experience what all of you experience. I want to be able to embrace life so openly, so fearlessly, but that's not me, Dad. I want to be able to jump into the void with no fear of the consequences, but… I had to learn how to walk through life, with no one by my side, and I don't know… if there's hope for me. Rationally…", she decided to share part of the realization her dream had given her, "I know that if I keep doing things this way, I'll end up bitter and alone, and I also know that if I open myself, I can find a life that is joyful, that is filled with love, but… I don't know how to let go. Being cautious was the only way I found to protect myself", Max tenderly caressed her forehead.

"My poor baby girl, what did we do to you?", his eyes were filled with tears, "It's ok", he said huskily, "It's not wrong for you to be afraid, but I don't want fear to be the only thing to rule your life, baby. You can make a rational choice to become stronger than your fear. You are the strongest person I've ever met. And you also have a great capacity to love, but you just haven't allowed yourself to let go. It doesn't help that you've been disappointed time and time again, but baby, despite what happened, as a man, I can see, objectively, that Booth loves you. I know he's repentant, that he's sorry he let his pain take over his decisions", she shook her head.

"But that's the thing, Dad, I don't want Booth to be with me out of pity, or gratitude. I want him to want to be with me, because I'm… _me"¸ _she said softly, "I know I'm not the easiest person in the world to love, but… I don't know if I'll survive another heartbreak, Dad. I'm not that strong", Max carefully gathered her in his arms, and her hand came around his waist while he held her.

"Just listen to your heart. You know what the right choice is, honey. Don't be afraid to make it, and whatever you choose, remember you are not alone in the world. You have a family that loves you, both your blood family, _us, _and you have the squints. I saw them here, while you were sleeping, and the pain they had in their eyes, that can only be love", she hid her head on his chest, feeling safe in his embrace, for the first time feeling strong enough to let go of her heart with him.

"Thank you, Dad", she said softly, "I love you. I know I don't say it often, but… I'm so grateful to have you back in my life", Max pressed a soft kiss against her temple, and after a few moments, laid her down on the bed, smiling tenderly at her, "You are so much like your mother it scares me sometimes", her lips curved in a tired smile, as her head fell back against her pillow, closing her eyes for a moment, feeling the rush of peace that came from this moment between them. She was surprised, as she was acting way out of her normal patterns, but it felt good to allow this hidden part of her to rise to the surface.

Their silence was interrupted, however, when two light taps on her door made her open her eyes and saw Booth on the threshold, holding a bouquet of daffodils, and looking sheepish, in his dress shirt and suit pants, sans tie and jacket. Their eyes met, and it was Max who took it upon himself to break the silence, "How did it go? Everything ok?", Booth nodded, and entered the room, standing by the foot of her bed.

"They just needed to have the official record of what happened. Even if Taffet had escaped, they wanted to make certain I hadn't used excessive force to contain her", he explained.

"And didn't you?", Max arched an eyebrow, and Booth sighed, seeing no malice despite the question. If there was someone who understood what it was like to take a life so your loved ones were spared, and not feel an ounce of remorse for it, it was Max Keenan.

"I wasn't about to deny that ever since she took Bones, and then me, I always felt she would always be a threat to us. She was not one to go down quietly, and I'm not denying that knowing she's truly gone makes me sleep much better at night, but... there's no pride in taking a life. If there had been other people involved, I would have done the exact same thing. I'm not truly repentant that she's done with, but I am not glad either, if that makes sense", Max nodded.

"Makes perfect sense, Booth. And you did good. The world is a much safer place without her in it", Booth stared into his eyes. Now he could understand why Max hadn't hesitated into killing Delaney or Kirby. That was why, in turn, he hadn't hesitated into killing Gormogon, or in taking Taffet out. He knew they both shared the same fierce love for the woman lying in bed before them, and that gave him a sense of comfort he never thought he would feel.

Switching his eyes to her, he smiled gently, "So, how did you behave while I was out? Were you the perfect patient?", there was a twinkle in his eyes she recognized as teasing, and her lips curved in a gentle smile.

"As much as I could. Though I understand perfectly the need for me to rest so the speed of my recovery isn't thwarted, I find myself quite tired from doing nothing", both men smiled.

"Aw Bones, if you can talk squinty, that means you're fine. You'll be back on your feet in no time", he replied, and she bit her lip.

"I do hope so, because I intensely dislike hospitals. They smell dreadful", she complained lightly, and he chuckled, moving to the side of her bed, and taking an empty vase, moving quickly to the bathroom to fill it with water, and then arranged the flowers as best as he could, leaving it next to her, the flower's discreet perfume starting to permeate the air.

"Problem solved", he said, and she smiled a bit brighter, though after a few seconds, her smile faded, and Max understood what was needed of him.

"Well, now that you're here, I will go to the cafeteria. I'm starving. Besides, I have this craving for some coffee and chocolate cake. Take care of her, Booth", he said, and bent down to kiss her forehead. She gave him a grateful smile, knowing he had understood her need to talk to Booth without interruptions now that the daze the drugs had her in had faded, and she could think clearly.

"Thanks, Daddy", Max nodded, and turning on his heels, finally let them alone.

Booth moved to the chair Max had just vacated, and sat right next to her, taking her hand, just as he had done all this time.

A heavy silence followed, and sighing deeply, she stared into his eyes, and said, "We need to talk, Booth", he nodded.

"Go ahead", he replied, and waited until she pressed the buttons on the side of the bed so her back was a bit straighter.

"I need you to understand something, Booth", she started, "Now that the shock of what happened has worn off, I feel we owe it to ourselves to be honest, for the first time perhaps in months. I am willing to accept my share of responsibility for what happened between us, but you got to know, Booth, I am hurt", his eyes got a pained look, and she squeezed his hand, "I don't mean to hurt you, I never have, Booth. Not even when I refused you was that ever my intention. We've never talked about what happened, and I need you to hear my side of it", he nodded somberly, but his hand never left hers as their fingers entwined. He was comforted that even if he knew she was going to air some harsh truths, at least she was letting him be close enough.

"I am now ready to accept that my parents leaving left an imprint so deep in my emotional core I was unable to fully engage, or let myself love or be loved. At least until I met you. I may have blackmailed you into this partnership, but I was afraid, Booth. I still am. When we met… I was intent on not letting anyone in. I had been hurt and disappointed too many times by the people I was supposed to trust, and I didn't want to risk my heart again. But you came and changed everything. Perhaps at the beginning I was torn between the physical attraction that pulled me to you, or the exasperation you evoked in me as you dismissed all science had to offer", she smiled slightly at him before becoming serious again, "But then, you became more. You became my friend, my only true friend, Booth", he squeezed her hand, knowing everything she was saying was the truth, "You've always been my friend, above all things. That night, in the rain, outside the pool bar? The reason I turned you down is because that, even if back then I wasn't ready to admit that indeed, as you said, I also felt whatever was between us could go somewhere, I wasn't ready to let you in. But as I met you, as I saw past your scars and I let you see past mine, you became such an integral part of my life. That night, in front of the Hoover, I was afraid to lose that. You were the only constant I had, and when you asked me for a chance to be more, I felt like the Earth beneath my feet was crumbling. I was terrified of losing you. And the irony behind all of this is that indeed, even by trying to hold on to you, I lost you", she tilted her body slightly so she could press her free hand to his lips and stall the protest she knew that was coming, "I knew going to Maluku was perhaps the biggest gamble I could take, and I hoped that by being there, I could figure out who I was, without you. I was afraid, Booth. I still am. I saw that my life without you in it had no meaning. That even if I was achieving every accomplishment I set for myself, I felt empty, and alone without you. Out of all of us, as I told Angela, I'm the only one living the life I expected, but that doesn't mean I continue to be happy that I managed to accomplish that. And when I saw Lauren Eames…", her eyes filled with tears, "I became terrified. I thought many times, during those days, that if something happened to me, the memory of me would fade, that the marks I would leave on the world would be those of a professional nature, but nothing personal. You told me once that we all leave marks on the people we leave behind, and I wondered what kind of mark I was going to leave on the people who claim to love me. _Sure, she was an amazing scientist, no one was better than her, but she was nothing more than an ice queen", _she put on a fake voice, and Booth's heart clenched at the raw pain oozing from every word, "And I had to admit that I've wrapped myself so tightly in my science all people see is that. Loving comes so easily to you, Booth. You are hurt by it, and still you are brave enough to put yourself out there, time and time again, and you continue trying, without caring that you might be hurt, or disappointed or abandoned. I am not like that, Booth. And perhaps you didn't understand why it was so hard for me to trust Russ or my dad when they came back. It was because", her eyes filled with hot tears, "Every single time I looked at them, I remembered all that was stripped from me, my capacity to love and trust. Every time I saw them, I remembered how every foster family told me I was worth nothing, and that my family had left me because they couldn't deal with such an awkward, _unlovable person", _Booth's eyes widened, as that part of her history had never been revealed to him in such an awful detail. "And then, in your SUV, when I told you I had regrets, perhaps all I need was to know that despite my mistakes, I could be loved, I _deserved _to be loved. And I always understood why you told me no. Even if your love for Hannah wasn't that strong, your sense of duty and truth would never allow you to lie to her or to me. But it hurt, Booth, it hurt knowing that I am so scarred inside I lost my chance at being happy. I told you once, perhaps I am one of those people who don't get to be in a family", she turned her head to the side away from him and shut her eyelids tightly, feeling the sting of tears burn a trail down her face to her temple, and it was the warmth of his fingers on her face that startled her enough for him to be able to make her face him.

"That is not true, Temperance", he said softly, "And you are more capable of love than anyone I know", at her disbelieving scoff, he willed his voice to sound stronger, "No, Temperance, it is the truth. I saw your heart from the earliest days of our partnership. Even when we wanted to rip each other to shreds, I could see it. I could see it when you comforted Shawn Cook. You understood what he needed, and you eased his fears", he said, his voice soft and tender, "I saw it, when you dropped everything to help your friend find her missing boyfriend, and you didn't rest until she found out the truth. I saw you slowly open your heart to your father and your brother, learning to forgive them, even if they left you with nothing", his thumb started caressing her now damp cheeks, "I saw you with Kelly Morris, how you let her know that the weight of the world was not on her shoulders, how you comforted her, how you understood why she would take the blame and make her see it was the wrong thing to do", he said tenderly, "I saw you with Andy. I saw you open yourself to him, I saw how fiercely you protected him, how you cared for him, when no one else did", now his whole hand was brushing her face, whisper-soft, seeing her close her eyes at his contact, "I saw you plant the seed of doubt on a jury so they left your father go free, without concern for your welfare, for what could happen to you. I saw you grieve for the boy you couldn't save from his own mind", he sighed deeply, seeing her draw a shuddering breath as he recalled the pain she had felt at being betrayed by the young scientist she had nurtured and educated, "You didn't stop until you found me, you didn't rest until I was back, safe and sound, when Taffet took me, and then you stayed by my side for 3 painful days, not knowing if I was going to wake", he recalled her hurt gaze when he asked her who she was, when she thought 4 years of being together had been erased in a few days, "I saw you lie to me", she gasped, "telling me the bones you were holding in your hand were definitely not JFK's, when you knew they could definitely be his, just so I didn't doubt myself, so I didn't go back and doubt if all the blood I had on my hands was for nothing", his eyes were now filled with tears as well, "I saw you go against everything you believe in so a killer was captured, and you were ready to do it all alone", he knew how scared she was that Taffet could go free, and how hard it had been for her to act like being buried alive herself came second before finding the truth of what had happened to Terrance Gilroy, to bring justice to another victim to her sick and twisted mind, "You cannot tell me you don't know how to love. You are, without a doubt, the most selfless human being I've met. You hurt me, yes, but I also hurt you, and for that I will forever be sorry. I thought it had been easy for you to see me move on, but that night, on my SUV… It was like everything I believed in was changing. I saw you befriend Hannah without hesitation, and I thought that if you were so willing to accept her, to let her take your place in my life, was because I hadn't been as important to you", he said, and she shook her head desperately, making him retire his hand from her silky skin.

"I did it because, even if it hurt to realize I could have been in her shoes, been the recipient of all that love, I thought that was what you wanted, all parts of your life, personal and professional, to blend, and I… still wasn't ready to lose you, even if all I had was a… partner and a friend that no longer wanted to be with me", it pained him to hear that, but he knew it was true. He had neglected her almost to the point of cruelty, "it hurt, Booth, to hear you ask me to gamble on the only sure thing I ever had in my life, and then say you needed to move on in the next breath. It hurt, Booth. It hurt because I felt that I wasn't enough, that I didn't fit your criteria for a happy life", she sighed heavily., "And seeing you with Hannah increased all of that. She's beautiful, smart, socially adept, also professionally successful, she gets your jokes and pop-culture references… It killed me seeing that you truly loved her, and that I was wiped out of your life".

"I know, and perhaps that was my pathetic attempt at protecting my heart, of making myself believe that I could truly move on from you. Temperance, I am not going to lie. I did love Hannah. She was a breath of fresh air when all I knew was pain and loneliness", he rubbed his face tiredly, his heart clenching as he was reminded of how he had practically shoved his relationship with Hannah in her face, "And I tried to make myself believe that my feelings for her had erased whatever I felt for you. But when I saw you, lying on that floor, when I thought of the possibility of a life where you wouldn't be there, I literally couldn't breathe", his voice was husky with unshed tears.

"But that's not what I want, Booth", he frowned in confusion at her reply, "I don't want you to be with me out of gratitude. I would have done it a thousand times, because I love your son, because he's a part of you, but I can't… be with you, _not like this", _his eyes were widened in terror, "Not because you feel you owe me. I can't, Booth", his hand went back to her face, "I won't be the rag you will use to wipe the mark that Hannah left on your life".

"How can you even say that?", he asked, his voice conveying the hurt he felt, "I would never taint what we feel, what we could have, with that. Yes, I am grateful, as I would be towards anyone who did what you did for my son, but that doesn't taint my feelings for you, that doesn't change that I've loved you for God knows how long, and that despite all my pitiful attempts to make that love go away, I can't make myself stop loving you. And I know you're hurt. I know that what I said the other night hurt you, that I've handled everything wrong, and you have every right to be angry and confused, but please, Bones, don't ever doubt that I do love you", she started sobbing, and he gently moved her so he could cradle her against his chest without jostling her, careful of her injured neck, "I love you, I love who you are, because I know you. I know you are afraid of this, of letting me in again, and while I could be flattered by your praise of my emotional advantages, listening to you tell me I know how to put myself out there, despite the pain, I am also scarred, Bones. I am also flawed. I also…", he sighed, taking his time as his hands roamed her back, feeling her shiver, and tuck her hands against his chest, like a little girl seeking comfort from a storm in the arms of her parents, "_God, _I can't believe I am about to say this, but perhaps I wanted to see you hurt. I wanted to know that you cared enough about me to hurt when I refused you", she raised pained blue eyes that were filled with understanding.

"I get it, Booth", she said softly, raising one of her hands to caress his rugged cheek, "You didn't want to hurt me, but it eased a part of you seeing me in pain, knowing that I cared about you, since I hadn't given you any clue that I was hurt by the way things were going between us ever since I rejected you", he nodded, amazed by her calm acceptance of what had happened between them a few weeks ago, how she had accepted that while his refusal of her hadn't happened out of a petty sense of revenge, part of him had been somewhat glad to see her like that, to know that she, like him almost a year prior, was hurt by his refusal, _that she cared he had said no_.

"My days in Afghanistan were filled with war, with training my soldiers, but at night… I had nothing to do, and my mind took me back to what happened between us. I knew you cared, but a little voice inside of me kept nagging at me, goading me, telling me that it had been so easy for you to reject me because you didn't feel the same way. And after months of hearing nothing from you, I started believing it. The little voice become louder and louder, and I started believing that all I was to you was a partner and perhaps a good friend, but that you didn't feel for me what I felt for you, what I feel for you", he said, moving his hand to the nape of her neck, feeling the tension in her muscles ease as he let his hands trace her muscles softly, "But seeing you like that, when I realized you were letting me see the pain you had been holding inside yourself, my heart broke, but I couldn't leave Hannah just like that. She deserved more from me", he felt her nod against his chest, her folded hands on top of his pectoral muscles, right above his heart, "And I know she didn't truly grasp what I felt when I saw her let go of Parker's hand, but when I saw you reach for him and I felt such peace at knowing you wouldn't let him get hurt, I realized I was building my life around someone I didn't trust my son with", he explained, "Don't get me wrong. Parker is a huge part of my life, but I'm not building my life around him…", her soft voice interrupted him.

"I understand what you're trying to say. Parker is your son, and as such, you love him, and want him to make part of everything that goes on in your life, but that as his father, you can't yourself be swayed by his opinions entirely, since he's a child, and he's still not mature enough to make an informed decision on such an important matter as choosing the woman you want for the rest of your life as your mate and partner", he smiled at her squinty explanation, and was amazed at her complete understanding of his conundrum.

He knew he had pushed Parker to get involved with Hannah, because he had truly believed they could get along, but deep inside, he had always seen his son's reluctance to fully let Hannah in. At first, he had believed it was because his son thought Hannah would take them away from each other, but after the showdown at the lab, he could see it was because Parker only trusted his "Dr. Bones" the way he had wanted him to trust Hannah.

And Parker had turned out to handle things quite maturely, as his gentle nature wouldn't allow him to be mean to Hannah, knowing how much she mattered to his father, and he tried to make the best of the situation, but Booth had known that he was crushing Parker's dream of them being together, and that was why he had kept him away from the woman now lying broken in his arms.

"I'm sorry, Bones", he bent his head to kiss her head, "I am sorry, I know I was terribly unfair to you, and to my son. I know how much he loves the lab, but above all, how much he loves you, and I tried… I tried to force him to love Hannah the way he loves you, and I… I am so sorry", she could hear the self-loathing and despair on his voice, and gently reassured him.

"Booth, for your relationship with Hannah to work, you needed Parker to be on the same… wavelength?", he nodded softly at her question of the appropriate wording, "You needed his support, and if you somewhat felt he preferred me to her, it was only logic you erased me from the equation, so you could achieve the result you wanted", she said.

"Please", his voice was pleading, "Don't logic yourself out of this. I know it hurt you to be away from him", she raised her head from his chest as his head bent to look at her.

"What do you want me to say then, Booth? That I was angry? That I felt betrayed that not only did I have to sit back and see you play house with Hannah, but that I also knew I was losing my best friend?", he was startled at her correct wording of the phrase, "That I was hurt when you deprived me of one of the few things that made me somewhat happy? I know everyone thinks me cold, Booth, but still, I still held on to the hope that you could still see past that, that you didn't see me as they do", one of his hands left her back and tilted her chin until he could stare into her soulful cerulean pools.

"I've always seen it. I've always seen you, and I am sorry if I got sidetracked. I am sorry I let myself forget", he said huskily.

She shifted a bit in his embrace, and reading her intention, he gently lay her down against the pillows, but he didn't let go of her hands. She fixed her eyes on their folded hands, before she gently extricated them from his grasp, needing the distance to organize her thoughts.

"Booth, I know our first instinct would be to try, now that we know where we stand, but… we need time, Booth. We need time, because the wounds we caused each other are still raw and painful", his eyes were so full of pain she angled her body towards his, "Even you have to admit that it will take some healing before we can trust each other with our hearts again. I don't want to begin this… _like this, _if we ever do_. _We need to… let things go back to… I don't even know how to say it", he squeezed her hand, "You are bitter, and angry, Booth, and so am I. We might love each other, and know it, but we need to let go of this bitterness before we try anything. As you said, I don't want our mistakes to taint our future, if we're ever going to have it. You need to forgive me, and I need to learn how to let go", he shook his head, and seeing her pained eyes, he quickly moved to explain.

"No ifs about it, Temperance. We ARE going to have a future together. But you're right. We hurt each other, and we need to find a way for that pain not to taint what we could have. There's nothing I want more than to take you in my arms, to make both our pains go away, to make love to you and prove to you no other man will ever love you the way I do", his voice dropped a few levels, and she felt a shiver run down her spine, "But you're right. But please, Temperance, I beg of you, don't shut me out. Don't keep me away", his words were so distressed, her heart broke.

"We both need time, Booth. All I can promise is that I won't run from this, from _us", _his relieved sigh told her that what she had just told him had eased his biggest fear.

"Thanks, Bones", their eyes locked, and unlike months prior, they didn't shy away from each other, reminiscent of earlier days when they could have entire conversations without a word being spoken, "I know this is kind of… Can I ask you something?", she nodded, "I don't want to rush you, but… could I… could I kiss you? Just once?", his eyes were filled with such hope she couldn't make herself deny him. As her cheeks blushed slightly, she nodded, and his beaming smile was her reward.

He moved closer, slowly as if afraid she was going to run at any moment, but she only folded her hands in her lap, and raised her head slightly, awaiting for him to make his move. He startled her as the moist feel of his lips against her forehead first met her skin, moving to her eyelids, to her temple, to her cheeks, brushing one corner of her mouth and then the other, as if coaxing her into the kiss.

As if she needed to be coaxed.

Her lips parted slightly, her heart raced in her chest, and had she been still in the ICU, she was certain a nurse would already be inside, checking up on her, but now all she felt was thankful that they could have this sweet moment amidst all the pain they had felt for the past days, _months._

He took advantage of her partially opened lips, feeling her soft breath caressing his lips, and he couldn't help himself, diving right in. Sweet willingness met him, as she matched his strokes one for one, making his soul sour as their tongues met and stroked each other gently. This kiss was devoid of the lusty rush of their first, the awkward burn of the second, and the despair of their last kiss. It was filled with promise, tenderness, and it still managed to convey the fire that had always existed between them. They shared the same breath, pausing slightly to get enough oxygen, breathing into each other's mouth, a parallel of what they had always done: give life to one another.

She had fallen slightly against her pillows, and his body had followed, his hands gently caressing her angled jaw, fingers drinking in her silky skin, reveling in her touch, her hands idly caressing his shoulders, and in the fact that he could now touch her as well. When they finally broke contact, her eyes were glassy, and her lips were beautifully swollen and moist, making his heart clench. He pressed their foreheads together, as silence loomed between them. After a few moments, he moved his lips to her bandaged neck, letting her feel their warmth over the thick gauze, lovingly patting her bruised skin.

"It will leave a scar", she said, her voice breathy and panty, but calm at the same time.

He raised his eyes, and with a soulful smile, he replied, "And you'll be even more beautiful to me, Bones", they shared a smile, and held hands until the day gave way to night, both content as they realized they had finally reached common ground, and that perhaps this time, despite their scars, they would both be able to finally move forward.

**I hope you liked it… Musie loves reviews, and she wants to know if this was awful, endurable, nice, whatever… Feed her, because honestly your words are the only fuel I have!**


	13. Chapter 12

**As usual, disclaimer. I own and/or gain nothing. Just the fun, and an outlet for my crazy ramblings.**

**Second, long chappie. So be warned. **

**Third, musie loves reviews.**

**Did I tell you musie loves reviews? Thank you those who have so lovingly fed it, and encouraged me. Even if you like it, even if you hate it, let me know.**

**Heavy chapter.**

**Again, I feel I need to apologize for the delay between chappies, but unfortunately, my health has not improved all that much, and as I've told you before, you only deserve the best, and I feared I would give you something lacking quality or depth. I hope this makes up for everything.**

**I need to thank every single person who has dropped a line, a comment, has added me to their alerts… Your support means the world to me. This is all for you.**

Her recovery was going as fast as it could, given the circumstances, and the doctors were quite pleased as she started to regain more and more of her strength, but as her body slowly progressed the path towards healing, she had entered a silent demeanor that had Booth on edge.

After the sweet, passionate kiss they had shared, he had seriously thought things would be back on track, and though he wasn't stupid or naïve enough to believe they would start right where they left off before their partnership, their friendship and their love had gone to hell in a hand basket, he hadn't expected her to… retreat so fast.

He couldn't pinpoint what was happening, but he was terrified, a sense of dread running through his blood every time their eyes met. It was definitely confusing, as she continued to be affectionate, and she almost always smiled at him, thanking him for every single thing he did, but at the same time she had grown so silent he was terrified she was about to take it all back. After finally confessing how hurt she truly was by the way he had treated her, and they had shed some light on the events that had led them to this point, the state of things at this moment could be compared to what happened when you were going at full speed through a highway, and suddenly your car stopped, and for the life of you, you couldn't find what was wrong.

Knowing her for so long had taught him that when she was this pensive, it was more than reasonable to be scared. This silent demeanor, however, had been broken when he had finally brought Parker to visit, and his son had tearfully and strongly embraced her, thanking her for _"being his hero and saving his life from the bad lady"._ She wasn't curt or rude, but she didn't really engage in conversation as animatedly as she always did. He thought it was aimed only towards him, but she behaved exactly the same with Max, so he decided not to take it personally, but he was scared nonetheless. When the rest of the team visited she was polite, but he could see a hint of gratefulness whenever they finally exited her room, and she was free of their well-intentioned, yet slightly smothering attentions. Only Parker had prompted the first real smile from her lips, and she had answered his every question and inquired of his school and science activities. This was the only time when he had seen her openly engage with any of them, and he was amazed at how little it took for Parker to break her shell. Her lively demeanor had continued, but it wasn't as noticeable.

3 days after she had woken up and been moved to her private room, they were watching some daytime movie that was on, but he could see she wasn't truly paying any attention, as her gaze was lost somewhere outside the window. He desperately wanted to ask her what was wrong, but he truly didn't want to give up this silent calm that had fallen between them, thankful that at least, she hadn't asked him to leave her alone. He truly expected her to freeze him out, but her openness and forgiveness had both humbled and astonished him.

A tap on the door broke him from his musings, and he could see the doctor that had been treating her standing in the doorway.

She plastered a polite smile on her face for the man, and he entered the room, "Temperance, how are you feeling today?", he asked, and turning to Booth, he gave him a polite nod, "Agent Booth", he responded in kind, and they both waited for her to reply.

"A bit tired, though I believe it's still the residual effects from my blood loss. I haven't sleep so deeply, as my neck prevents me from assuming a more comfortable position than just being on my back but overall, I feel much better", she replied, and the man smiled at her.

"I am glad to hear that. Considering your speedy recovery, I think it' safe to allow you to go home. I know you've been dying to leave this place", she nodded eagerly, "However, I want you to rest for a few days, so the strain on your neck muscles is avoided, and it heals faster. Considering that, I would strongly recommend that you didn't go home alone, that someone helped you out, for at least 2 or 3 days, so you don't feel tempted to overdo it", he stared into her eyes, "Besides, if pain grows, you could trigger a vagal reflex and pass out. In these cases it's best to err in the way of caution".

She bit her lip unconsciously in that way Booth knew meant that she was making a decision, and wasn't very happy with her choices.

"Is that absolutely necessary?", she asked, and the doctor nodded.

"I don't like speaking in absolutes, Temperance", the man had already gathered that from every conversation where he had updated her on her progress, "But you went through something incredibly straining, and I know you're still feeling the effects. Though we transfused you, it takes some time for the body to recover from such a major event, and if you take it slow your recovery will go much faster, though we both know that it's going quite well already", he stated.

"If you don't mind, I would like to go through my options, ok? I don't want to make hasty decisions", her tone, even if it was polite, it was filled with the finality of someone who refused to speak about the subject further, and the doctor must have got it, because he didn't press for more. She had agreed to think about it, and it was exactly what he wanted.

"That's fine. I will come by before my shift ends later in the afternoon, and depending on your decision, I was thinking of discharging you tomorrow. Besides, I feel you'll be more comfortable at your home, and there's nothing you've been doing here that you can't do there. Keep the good work, and we'll take later. Bye, Agent Booth", he said, looking into Booth's direction, and Booth barely had time to acknowledge the pleasantry before he was out of shot.

He couldn't help himself, and gave in to the need to ask, "Bones, what is there to think about? The decision is quite easy, from where I'm standing", he said, and she stared into his eyes for long moments, before letting her head fall back to her pillow slowly and sighing deeply. When she opened her eyes, she fixed them on the ceiling, knowing that what she was about to say would probably sting a bit, and she refused to look into his eyes while she did so.

"Booth, it can seem quite easy, but it's not in my custom to assume that the people that are close to me can be on my beck and call whenever I need them to. I asked for some time so I can perhaps consider hiring a nurse for the time slot the doctor suggested before I fully regain my independence", he swallowed as he could see the reality behind her words.

"Bones", the wave of immense sadness that engulfed him could be heard on his voice, "You're saying that you doubt that your friends, the people who love you, would be willing to help you out when you need them the most?", she turned her eyes to him, and shook her head.

"Booth, I can only speak from the evidence I've had from these months, and from facts. Cam has responsibilities towards Michelle, Angela and Hodgins are preparing themselves for the arrival of their child, and I wouldn't dream of imposing on a pregnant woman, considering how demanding on the body it can be for caring for someone who's recovering from an injury, and I certainly won't add to the stress she's already feeling by her impending motherhood. Russ is caught up with Hayley, who's had a setback, and is on bed rest herself, and I know he appreciates having Dad close by when things are so rough-going. I just don't like to assume… things", she said softly.

"Bones", Booth's eyes were filled with tears, "What about me?", she knew what he wasn't saying, and gave him an equally sad look.

"Booth, we can't deny that the past months we were trying to pretend we were still friends, while we stopped doing everything friends are supposed to do", seeing his saddened eyes, she added, "I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty, because I honestly believe, as I've told you, that you had the right to fight for your happiness. However, it did hurt, Booth, it hurt knowing that I couldn't turn to you for help or guidance. When I went to Woodland that night, I was truly scared, because I would have never dared going there alone before, but I hesitated, Booth. I was about to dial your phone before I headed there, and I realized I felt I had not right to do it, to ask for your help, or your company. That's why I was so surprised to see you there, and perhaps my fate would have been the same as Dr. Eames, being hit by a car, and seeing you there when I had lost all hope is what made me blurt out… you know what", she inhaled heavily, "You've been here, and your presence has been comforting, but… I can't just jump on this wagon. I am still afraid, Booth. I don't know how to let go of the fear that is inside of me. For long, I trusted that you wouldn't leave me, and I felt lonelier here than I did in Maluku, because I had to accept I had to adjust to so many changes, and you weren't… the same you", she could see the shame on his eyes, which were downcast, and she moved her hand to his cheek, effectively startling him, and making him meet his eyes.

"I don't blame you, Booth. I never did. I never will. But I need time to learn to trust you with my… metaphorical heart again, but I want to, I desperately want to do that, for the both of us", his gaze was filled with agony, with regret, but also with hope at her last words, and she didn't know what to add to make him feel better, but she was literally saved by the bell as Max strolled in, holding some paper bags filled with their lunch, as she had complained that hospital food was not to her liking.

Max had been seeing them for some moments, and he could sense the tension between them. Listening to her last words, he knew that Booth must feel hurt and guilty, but if there was something both men had learned is that no matter what, she couldn't be rushed to meet their desires. Ever since she was a little girl, she had set her own pace, and she didn't change it, for anyone. Besides, it was a huge step in the right direction that she had stated she wanted to be able to embark on a relationship with him in the future, no matter when that would be.

"Hey guys", they both turned to him, and he could see something akin to gratefulness in his daughter's eyes, knowing he had saved her from continuing to wound the man that was so valiantly and determinedly trying to make amends, "Got to tell ya, Booth, that Sid does know his business. He gave me exactly what I wanted. My mouth has been watering the whole way here", he picked the tray and started arranging everything for them.

Small talk began, Max trying to liven the mood, and succeeding only partially, as they seemingly were too busy with their food, while they were both fooling around with their plates.

"So, hon, has the doctor come to visit while I was away?", he asked, and she nodded softly.

"Yes. Actually, he came to tell me I could be discharged tomorrow, but he wants to do so knowing that I will have some company for a few days, while I recover. I didn't give him an answer, as I am considering my options", she said matter-of-factly, and Max hid his wince. Ouch, that must have hurt Booth, but knowing his baby girl, he knew she wasn't about to run into the sunset with Booth before they fixed the cracks that had appeared in their relationship as friends, partners, and as possible… whatever they were, or would be.

"Honey", Max smiled gently, "If you want me to, and don't think it's a burden to have me around, I would love to care for you. It's not every day that I can help you, and I would be so glad, so honored to do that", there was so much longing in his eyes that she couldn't help but smile. Even though at some point, both men before her had abandoned her, in their own particular way, it felt good to feel loved and cared for. And she couldn't help remembering that once in her lifetime, she had been a daddy's girl.

"I…", she sighed, and gave Max a quiet, reserved smile, "If it doesn't bother you or alter your schedule, I would appreciate that. And before I do this, I promise I will try to be as accommodating as I can, and not burden you too much with the imposition of caring for me. I was considering a nurse, but Booth has got me thinking that perhaps turning to family is the best option", Max smiled brightly while Booth looked pleasantly surprised by her words.

"But if you do and get too difficult, I can ask Booth here to help me keep you in check, can't I?", Max teased and she saw his attempts to lighten the mood, thankful that at least one of them had his head clear enough to see past the pain and start building bridges that lead to healing, and even to happiness.

She also saw Booth's expectant look behind the pain he was trying to hide at the last words she had said before Max had come in. Brutal honesty was hard to handle, but they had been lying for so long they had to go for this approach if they wanted to truly salvage their relationship, and move to where they had never gone before.

She answered her father's question, but her eyes were on Booth as she spoke, "Yes, Dad. You can", Booth reached for her hand and squeezed it, relieved that she was giving him this, that she wasn't closing the door on him or trying to rebuild her walls.

Max again took it upon himself to lighten the mood, and he engaged them in talk of sports and Parker, giving them both the breathing room they needed, until they realized it was already night, and time for one of them to leave. She suspected he was stalling his leaving for her. The doctor had already been informed of her decision when he had come for his night rounds, and he promised to discharge her early the next day.

His cell phone had rang, and if she hadn't been so attuned to him, she would have missed that it was Rebecca he was talking to. When he hung up, his face had a tortured look to it, and she knew she had to make another choice for him again.

"Is everything ok, Booth? By the way, you should be going, I guess this is your weekend with Parker. Aren't you supposed to be picking him up now?", he looked sheepish when he replied.

"Actually, I am, and that was Rebecca, guilt-tripping me since I am a bit late. But don't worry, she's not doing it out of the kindness of her heart, she has a seminar this weekend in Chicago, and she needs me to take Parker a bit sooner, but I told her I was with you", she shook her head, but plastered a soft smile on her face so he didn't take her words the wrong way. If there was something she loved about Booth was his devotion to his son, and how good a father he was to Parker.

"Despite the fact that her personal interests are at stake, you should still comply, not for you, but for Parker. After everything that's happened, he needs the normalcy you can give him. And if she wants you to pick him today, you should take advantage of the extra hours she's giving you with him. We both know how much you crave for more time with your son, Booth", he grasped her hand between his, and softly replied,

"Bones, you need me here", she raised her free hand, and caressed his jaw gently, shaking her head again, "I have my dad, Booth. He will take care of me, and I know he will be thrilled that I am letting him spend the night with me. It will make me feel so much better to know that you aren't foregoing any time with your little boy on my account", seeing the scared look he was trying to hide, she continued her soothing motion with her thumb, caressing his stubble, which felt surprisingly comforting on her skin, "Trust me, I am not asking you to go because I want to hide from us, or to ban you from my room ok?", her eyes were so honest and so open it was impossible of him to deny that she was in fact asking him to go because they both knew how much it meant to him that he was getting a precious extra hours with his boy.

"But I'll be here tomorrow", he said determinedly, and she chuckled lightly.

"From what I've gathered, I will be discharged tomorrow morning. Perhaps you can come over to my place, and we can order some take out, and hang out in the afternoon. Dad will love to see Parker", they both knew how close her father and his son had gotten, sharing a love for mischief _"in the name of scientific exploration"_, as they had justified their somewhat risky experiments that never failed to bring them fun.

Booth sighed regretfully, but knew she was making sense. "Ok, so I'll be at your place at noon, so you have time to settle properly. Are you sure you want Parker to go to your place? He can be a whirlwind", she nodded.

"I always want to see him, Booth. Besides, he's a very polite, well-mannered young boy, and he won't hurt me or upset me", he beamed at her, and let out a sigh as he stood. He stared at her for long moments before he bent his body and pressed a soft, tender kiss against her forehead, letting his lips longer a bit more than necessary, basking in the fact that her skin felt pleasantly warm instead of the icy cold of previous days.

"I'll see you tomorrow Bones", and he wanted to add, _I love you, _but knew it wasn't time yet to voice those emotions, even if they both knew they both felt it. He knew that when they said it, they didn't want those words to be tainted with heartbreak or regret.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Booth, Hug Parker for me tonight", she said, and with a smile, he left, as he found Max on the door and they exchanged goodbye.

"So, ready for a Clara Bow marathon?", Max smiled, holding a bag of movies in his hand, making her smile truthfully at him, glad to have him there for the road ahead.

B&B&B&B&B&B&B&B&B&B

As promised, the doctor came first thing in the morning, and discharged her. After receiving her prescriptions and Max signed off her release forms, they were on their way to her place.

Her head felt dizzy and her body was tired after so many days of lying down, but she was glad she could finally go to a place where she felt truly comfortable and at ease.

Max had dutifully helped her sit on the couch, and when she commented that perhaps he would need to go buy groceries, he sheepishly told her that Angela and Cam had seen to that, stocking her kitchen of all the things they knew she loved. He also added that Sweets and Hodgins had bought her the latest documentaries, so she had something worthwhile watching on the new TV they had all gotten her. She was humbled by their thoughtfulness, and again, she was hit by Sweets' words during the Eames case. _You are not alone in this world. _The difference was that, for the first time, she believed it, that it no longer felt like empty words.

After calling them all, and confirming it was ok to visit, though the next day, since she had been advised to take it slow this first day, and thanking them profusely for the gestures of comfort, she had hung up, and found a comfortable position, perched on her couch, taking advantage of the many cushions her father had set so she could settle comfortably.

"At the risk of sounding repetitive, what's got you thinking so hard, hon?", Max asked, as he entered the living room with two steaming mugs of the fruit tea she loved. She gratefully took one, and wrapped her hands around the mug, letting its warmth infuse her clammy hands.

"I was thinking… I would like to go away, Dad", seeing his scared look, she quickly amended, "Don't worry, Dad. I'm not thinking of running away, but I would like some quiet time, away from here, somewhere… nice", she sighed, "Actually, I was thinking…", she bit her lower lip, and Max quickly asked, "What, honey? Tell me".

"You remember that beach where you and Mom used to take us when we were little? I've always wanted to go there, but… I wasn't very clear on its whereabouts", she replied, and Max smiled, though she could see he was a little confused.

"Honey, surely I could take you there, but… why? I mean, I would have thought that you wanted to get away… from the memories", she set down her mug on the coffee table, and reached for his hand.

"My mistake has been running from my past, and it has… tainted everything, it has tainted my future, and my choices. Perhaps the happy memories I associate with that place will help me heal", Max bent and kissed her cheek, staring into her eyes, filled with emotions.

"If that's what you want, I will arrange everything. How soon do you want to leave?", he asked.

"Monday, if possible. I would prefer that it was tomorrow, but I don't want to deny my friends of the chance to visit me, as I've come to accept they're quite worried about me still, and want to see for themselves that I'm ok", Max nodded, and stroked her cheek.

"I will search for my phonebook, and arrange everything", she nodded, and with that, he quickly left to make the necessary calls.

She was doubtful for a moment, thinking perhaps she was unconsciously trying to mask a desire to run from all the emotions she had been forced to face, but as she analyzed them, she realized she needed a small break to find the strength to stop running, and embrace her new life with an open heart, without fear. She owed it to herself, and to him.

B&B&B&B&&BB

Max had devoted himself to making Mac 'n' Cheese, following her every instruction so it turned out exactly the way she cooked it, and wonderful smells were coming from the kitchen already when two knocks on her door startled her. She knew them by heart, years of hearing those same determined knocks every morning and on many late nights.

"I'll go", Max said, and walked pass her to open, a cheery "Grandpa Max!" filling the air, as Max bent to hug the eager 10 year-old, "You grow by the minute, Parko!", Max replied cheerfully as well, beaming at the little boy, who didn't hesitate to put his arms around Max's neck happily.

"Hey, Booth", Max smiled encouragingly at the man, who, in sharp contrast to his son, seemed to hesitate to walk past the threshold, instantly putting him at ease.

"Hey, Max", Max stood to the side, letting them walk inside, closing the door behind him.

"Bones!", Parker rushed to her side, but before he could reach her, Booth commandingly stilled him, "Careful, Parker. Bones is still hurt, you have to be gentle", he said, and Parker immediately slowed his pace, and walked to her side.

"Can I.. Can I hug you, Bones?", Parker asked timidly, and she smiled tenderly, holding out her arms to him in silent invitation, and the little boy eagerly moved into her embrace, resting his head on the swell of her chest, her elegant finger running through his messy curls.

He hid his face against her chest, and she bent her head to brush her lips against his sandy blond curls, "You never have to ask me for permission to hug me, Parker", she said, holding his little frame against her, "I've been told hugs are the best medicine ever".

"I won´t stop hugging you ever, Bones", the little boy vowed, and hid his face in her bosom, happy to be held so tenderly by the woman he adored.

Booth's heart swelled with love. For a woman who had claimed once that she would never be a mother, that she wasn't good with children, seeing her so openly giving him her love, in the most motherly way she could, made him realize that he hadn't needed her to change because she hadn't changed, she had only needed to learn to let herself love freely and fearlessly.

Staring over Parker's curls, she met his eyes, and smiled softly, "Hey", she said, and he replied with an equally soft, "Hey, Bones", a million words passing between them.

"Are you feeling better today?", Parker asked from his spot on her chest, and she smiled, rising him a bit so she could stare into eyes as brown as his father's.

"As a matter of fact, I am. Though I still feel tired, which is normal, as I eat properly and rest, my body is regaining its strength", she explained, earning her a relieved smile from the little boy. She knew he was still scared, that seeing her hurt had impressed him greatly, and she knew that reasonably, a part of him would still be scared, "Besides, that hug you just gave me? I feel myself healing by the minute", Parker beamed at her praise.

"Bones, we brought a movie. It's great. It's about a man who is evil, and wants to steal the moon, but he has to take care of three little girls, and they think he's not so bad", he started rambling, making all the adults chuckle at his lively words and cheerful attitude that never failed to lighten the mood.

"What do you say we have lunch first, and then we all settle down to watch it?", Max suggested, and his curls bounced as he nodded.

"Yes, Grandpa Max. I am soooooo hungry! And it smells great!", he added, smiling brightly, to which Max replied.

"That's because it's Tempe' secret recipe", Parker looked confused.

"Tempe?", Max laughed softly at the question, "Tempe is mine and Russ' nickname for Temperance", he explained.

Parker looked pensive for a moment, before replying, "I think I like Bones better", their hearts smiled at the innocence in his remark.

"Me too, bub", replied Booth, brown meeting blue endlessly until Max called them to the kitchen and they were forced to part ways.

B&B&B&B&B

Lunch was filled with laughter, and she was thankful for Parker's unstoppable rants, since they were giving her the time she needed to gather her thoughts and find her footing in the maelstrom of emotions threatening to overwhelm her.

After Max shooed them away from the kitchen, claiming that the cleaning would also be on his tab for the day, they sat in front of the TV, and after Booth arranged everything, they settled, with Parker between their bodies, snuggling close to the woman who had saved him, and whom he implicitly trusted.

He was focused on seeing them, Parker's head perched on her lap as her hands again stroked his curls, feet on his lap. He smiled as he realized that her gentle ministrations had put his little boy to a deep sleep. It seemed that Booth men were helpless before the pull she presented, and his soft snores filled the air.

"I guess the sugar rush of the ice cream wore off", she said softly, and Booth smiled.

"Nah", Booth said tenderly, "Can't blame the little guy. That spot seems quite comfortable", she blushed a pretty pink, but her hands never stopped her gentle caress as Parker turned on his side, and hid his face against her stomach, searching for her warmth, "I can't remember the last time I saw him so… peaceful. He never does that, not even with Rebecca", Booth said, earning her another shy smile.

"It seems he's finally over the shock of everything that happened", she commented, and he nodded.

"Kids are very resilient, Bones, and right now, right there, he feels safe and secure. He knows he's with people who would do anything for him", he smiled encouragingly.

"There's nothing I wouldn't do for him", she said, her eyes focused on the tiny face of the sleeping boy embracing her middle section so tenderly, "I'm very glad that he's come out of this practically unscathed".

"Oh Bones, and you claimed you weren't good with kids", he teased, and she smiled at his praise.

"Perhaps I am good with him because he's your son", she replied, and he smiled.

"Booth men are genetically engineered to love you, Bones", her chest swelled with warmth at his heartfelt words.

"Though that would be impossible, as you can´t genetically engineer someone to like or love others, I understand the sentiment", their eyes locked, and it was only Max coming in the room which made them look away.

The rest of the afternoon went pretty much the same way, the four of them joking around and basically focusing on Parker, and Booth and Brennan engaging in their silent stares, a feeling of tentative peace engulfing them all, making them feel like indeed they were a family, as Parker told them his dad was taking him to the zoo to see "all the animals", his excitement contagious and soul-lifting.

Of course, the time for them to leave came, and Parker whined as Booth announced they had to go home to let Bones rest.

"But Daaaaad", Parker tried to give his father the puppy eyes that almost always helped him get whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted it, and despite Booth's own desire to spend the night, but mostly, to care for her, and keep her in his arms, he knew she needed time to sort her emotions, and for all purposes, so did he. They had a second, well, _third _chance to mend things, and he wasn't about to let it go to waste.

"Parker, I know you want to stay, but Bones needs her rest, so she can get better, faster", he explained, and Max quickly added, "That's true, bud. Tempe needs to go to bed so she can rest and her body can heal".

"Bones, do you also have bedtime?", he asked, and she chuckled, shaking her head.

"Actually, I don't, but my dad and your dad don't agree very much with my sleeping habits, as they believe I work too hard, and they are partially right", giving them a stern look that clearly said, _Be careful to say a single word because this is only for Parker, _"As in this moment, I do need my rest so I can regain my energy, and so do you. I promise…", she wasn't about to lie, so she tried to find the words that eased him without giving him false hope, "That we'll see each other soon, so you can teach me about another movie you think I need to learn about, ok?", she said, and he embraced her, though gently, mindful of her condition.

"I love you, Bones", his innocent words touched her deeply, and she breathed to stem the moisture in her eyes, not wanting to scare Parker with her emotional state.

"I love you too, bud. Sleep tight, and be good to your Dad", she whispered, getting a kiss in response.

Booth saw the emotion in her eyes, and settle for squeezing her hand, and bending to kiss her cheek, "Sleep tight, Bones", her lips curved in a gentle smile, and replied, "You too, Booth. See you soon", after another lingering look, father and son left.

Max closed the door, and couldn't refrain from asking, "Why didn't you tell him, Tempe?", she inhaled deeply.

"Because if I did, he wouldn't have let me go, Dad, and I… I need to face this, without him, at least for a while", she said, a sad smile playing on her lips before she slowly made her way to her room.

Sunday was pretty much the same, her squint family making sure her spirits remained high. Angela and Jack, Cam, Sweets, Wendell, Arastoo and Vincent telling them tell of their latest experiments, and keeping her updated on everything, also joking and filling her apartment with laughter.

When she excused herself and went to her room, Angela took it upon herself to follow.

She braced her hands on her vanity, and stared at her reflection. She didn't look as poorly, her color had improved slightly, but the bandage on her neck was a reminder of how close she had come, yet again.

She saw Angela's reflection on the mirror, and slowly turned with a "Hey, Ange".

"I'm sorry, Sweetie. I know that everything has been so overwhelming, and perhaps we all pushed you too hard, you were supposed to be resting instead of playing host", she shook her head.

"No, Ange. I'm glad you're here. It's nice to have my family close, to know how much you all care", she replied, and Angela smiled.

"Of course we do, Sweetie!", the smile waned from her lips, "I know there's something wrong. Call it mother's intuition, but there's more, right?", she asked, and she followed Brennan, who sat on the edge of her bed, and sat next to her, reaching for her delicate hand, "Tell me. I promise I won't tell a soul", staring into her friend's warm brown eyes, she decided to trust her.

"I am leaving", Angela gasped, and she hastily explained, "I am not leaving for good, but… I've realized I need a bit of time away, perhaps a week or two. I am not leaving alone either, my father is coming with me. What happened has made me realize that at a deeper level, there are things from my past that have prevented me from embracing my future, and I… I deserve more than that. I don't want to let my future be shadowed by what happened to me. It has already… stolen many things from me, and if I want to live my life to the fullest, I need to find a way to let go. I hope the silence and the change of scenery will help me do that", she finished.

"For someone who claims to hate psychology, that was very psychological. Sweets would be very proud of you", Angela teased, and bumped her shoulder lightly.

"There is another thing", Bren said, moving to her vanity, and opening a drawer, an envelope in hand, "We're leaving tomorrow, at 6am. I need you to give this to Booth", Angela could see the elegant handwriting of her friend on the envelope with a single _Booth _written, and her heart jumped in fear.

"Bren…", Brennan shook her head and again sat next to her friend, "He won't let me leave, and he will take it the wrong way. I tend to say the wrong thing, most of times, and I am quite articulate on paper. I thought it would be best if I did it this way", she said softly. She had spent 2 hours trying to find the right words so he understood she wasn't leaving him, but that she needed a bit of time and space to heal, in all ways.

"You know this will hurt him. I know he thinks you two are doing better", Brennan nodded at her friend's words, "And perhaps he treated you terribly, and I wanted to slug him sometimes, but after everything that's happened, even I think the poor guy deserves a break. He did leave his girlfriend for you", Angela added.

"I know, Ange, and you are right, but I need to leave, and I know I won't be strong enough if I stare into his eyes one more time. I feel it too, Ange, that we're finally mending all the bridges that were broken, but if I see him, my resolve to leave will fade, and I've come to realize I definitely need this. For me. For him. He needs someone who can love him without the shadow of the past and fear messing everything up. I need it, Ange, and somehow he needs for me to do it, as well", she reiterated, and Angela, who had tears in her eyes, nodded resignedly, taking the white envelope and hiding it in her jacket.

"So I guess I have to give him this before he sends a search party, but when you're far away enough that he can't look for you?", Brennan nodded.

"I'm sorry, Ange. I don't want to impose on you, but it's what needs to be done, if Booth and I ever expect to find some peace", they embraced for long moments.

"Promise you'll let me know how you're doing, even if it's just a text with a simple, "_I'm ok, and I'm alive", _again Brennan nodded.

"I promise, Ange, a text every now and then so you're not worried. I wouldn't add to your already raging hormones and mood swings, making you worry needlessly", Angela raised an eyebrow, but chuckled.

"Thank you, Sweetie. We should go before they come looking, or worse, before Sweets starts analyzing you", they both stood, and went to the living room, their smiles betraying nothing of the serious conversation of moments before.

B&B&B&&B&B&B&B

After visiting her on Saturday, he had felt a wave of peace come over him. Her tenderness, her soft smiles and the way she didn't retreat from him had given him a hope he had never thought he could feel again, and spending all Sunday with his son had certainly helped keep his spirits high after their bittersweet goodbye of the previous night. Of course, he wished he could have stayed with her, tending to her every need, but he had accepted that she needed time, and perhaps a bit of space. It was a small concession he had to give her, even more now that he knew she wasn't running away from her feelings, or _him_.

It was 9 in the morning, and he had already picked his phone 4 times, eager to talk to her, but had thought otherwise, not wanting to intrude on her rest just because he needed to hear her voice. So he had waited, but each minute felt like a year as the right time to call her came.

He was startled out of his thoughts when he saw Angela standing on his doorway.

"Ange", he said surprised, but a wave of dread ran through him, as her presence perhaps meant bad news, "Hey, Booth, can I come in?", she asked, almost shyly, and he nodded, feeling a thick lump form on his throat.

"What is it, Ange? Is Bones ok?", she nodded, but her eyes were refusing to meet his, "Hey, Ange. Tell me", he pleaded and with a heavy sigh, her brown eyes met his worried orbs.

"I need you to hear me out, ok?", he nodded frantically, and moved to the front of his desk, perching hid body on the edge, so he was right in front of her, "You need to understand she didn't decide this on a whim. She's _not running, _and you need to trust that, and her. But she thought this was the best way to go, and all she needs is for you to understand and be patient. I know", seeing the rage and sadness war in his eyes, "That you've been as patient and understanding as you know how, but… see this as perhaps the last time you'll be apart. She asked me to give you this", she opened her purse, and handed him the white envelope. Her heart ached when she saw that his hand was shaking as he reached for it, "Remember, even if she hasn't said it, she loves you, and she only needs you to keep holding on to your lion heart, ok?", she walked around his desk and stood before him, and bent slightly to kiss his cheek, "Hold on, Studly. You are both going to be just fine", he could see the sadness and sympathy in her eyes as she left.

He went to sit, suddenly feeling deflated. But as she had said, he needed to trust her, that she hadn't lied and that she was honestly trying to do what she thought was best.

He opened the white envelope, and he willed his hands to remain steady as he took in her every word, her elegant handwriting making him smile a bit.

_Booth._

_I know that perhaps your first reaction will be anger and disbelief, as I promised you I wouldn't run away. Let me clarify that. I AM NOT RUNNING AWAY._

_Booth, feelings and emotions have always come easily to you, and you have always been the one to show me the way, to insistently work to tear down my walls, and for that, I will forever be thankful, even if sometimes, the process has been quite painful, for both of us. You know I have ALWAYS struggled with emotions, and though this might not be the right way, it is MY way to face everything that's happening, to all the changes that have been thrown our way._

_That night on the Hoover, I told you I couldn't change, but the truth was that I was terrified, because you made me realize I had changed already, that I wasn't the same person you met, that you were so deep inside me, that you were etched so deeply in my emotions I couldn't imagine myself away from you; I was so terrified I saw no choice but leaving, in one last attempt to prove to myself I could live a life without you, that I was still my own person, that my happiness was not dependent on your presence._

_I concluded that I can live without you. I can survive without you. _

_But I don't want to. I don't ever want to know what a life without you truly is._

_I had a glimpse into what a life without you could turn out to be, and I realized all I would have would be loneliness, and heartbreak, for the both of us. Though I don't doubt that Hannah loved (loves?) you, for the first time I can throw caution to the wind , forget about neurochemicals and say that Hannah doesn't or will ever love you the way I do, because she will never giver her life for you, willingly, as I do. It might sound irrational, as no one can measure the depth of someone else's feelings, but I have come to see that if I had had Hannah's opportunities, you would have always come first._

_As I also allowed myself to see how a life together would be, the happiness that we could reach touched me so deeply I find myself aching and longing for it. _

_But for that to happen, to let go of the last of my imperviousness, to be able to risk it all, to give all of myself to you, I need to heal._

_I need to heal from the wounds that still remain from my past, I need to heal from the pain of a year without your metaphorical heart leading me, I need to forgive myself for the pain I caused you, and I need to forgive you for making me feel you had given up on us, on me; I need to come to grips with the fact that even though you abandoned me when you swore you would never leave me, you had every right to fight for your happiness. I need to heal from the pain I felt when every time I saw you with Hannah, I was heart-crushed, and heart-sore, and all I was left with was loneliness and a deep sense of regret._

_You need a woman who's free to love you with her whole heart, well, in my case, with my whole brain, which is a testament of how much I indeed want to give you._

_And I want to be that woman for you. _

_I find it liberating that I am finally strong enough to voice what my metaphorical heart denied for so long. I don't know when I started loving you, but as you know I don't believe in forever, I can tell you that after all the trials we've endured, I've learned that that love is as real as all my scientific facts, and you know how hard that is for me to say._

_And I want to say them, to voice them out loud, but I want you to hear them from my lips, not read them on a piece of paper. I want to stare into your eyes when I finally gather the courage I need to tell you the words you need to hear and I want to say, and I think you'll agree with me when I say that I don't want any pain or resentment or hurt to be there when we stare into each other's eyes and voice what we both know._

_I know you're wondering where I am. All I can tell you is that it's peaceful, and that the silence it will provide me with will give me the perspective I need to finally move on, and that my father is with me, as I have also become strong enough to realize that there are some things I need to solve with him for me to move on._

_But trust me, Booth, when I tell you I won't try to move on from you. We both spent too much time and energy running away from each other, and I've realized how fruitless and unfulfilling it is._

_Forgive me, for I know this will bring you a pain you don't deserve, but you know me, and I know you, and we both know if I had stared into your eyes one more time, I would have lost the will and the strength to leave. This is what needs to be done if I want to give us the chance for our future._

_I will be thinking of you, every day and every night, while I try to find my way again. My way to you and to us._

_Your Bones._

When he finished reading, his eyes were filled with tears, but the hope he thought would be crushed when he finished reading was reignited as every word attested to the love she felt, even if she had only referred to it. He closed his eyes and let his head fall against his headrest, and prayed. And hoped. And prayed again, for the patience that had worn so thin to hold on just a bit longer.

She was worth it. They were worth it. And he prayed that, wherever she was, she was certain that he would always be waiting.

**I was torn, I didn't know where to break this, so forgive me if the length was tedious or boring. Again, you make this story worthwhile writing.**

**Perhaps you'll hate me, but I needed to make sure that while Bren is leaving, she's not running. **

**Did I mention musie loves reviews? (LOL!) **

**Whatever this was to you, sucked or not, let me know. I deeply appreciate it.**


	14. Chapter 13

**This chappie is highly psychological. It goes deep into Bren's mind, and her reflections on everything that's happened.**

**Without further adieu, here it goes.**

She was sitting on a plush lazy chair, with a thick blanket thrown over her lap, sheltering her from the cold air coming the ocean. Her father had indeed managed to pull through on her request, and he had found them a cozy, elegant cottage next to the beach, only a mile or two away from the very cottage where they would spend their summers when she and Russ were still little, when their time as a family hadn't been cut short by murder and mayhem.

She was hit with a thousand memories, as she remembered the long drive there, and how they used to stop at every single spot they wanted to check out until they arrived at their destination, making the trip much longer, but more enjoyable at the same time, her parents indulging her and Russ' desires. After they arrived and settled, they used to spend 2 blissful weeks where there were no murders and no fears; during those 2 weeks, they were just a regular family sharing their precious time together. Not in her wildest dreams had she ever imagined that her life would change so drastically just a few years after that.

As she grew up and was faced with the harsh reality of the foster system, where love and kindness were the exception more than the rule, she became painfully aware that most of the time, she had taken her family for granted, that she had always assumed she would have the shelter their love would provide for her when there was no one else around. She was a loner by nature, her lack of social skills certainly not helping her to become popular among her peers or helping her make any real friends, but she had always been certain that her family didn't care about the fact that she was awkward, they didn't care that she always had her nose stuck in a book, and that she preferred science and learning to dresses, parties or sports: they loved her, and sheltered her, and even encouraged her because they knew her books and scientific endeavors were what made her happy and fulfilled. Max had been the one who led her into the world of scientific inquiries and knowledge, while her mother was the warmth, the heart of their family.

As she stared into the blue line of the horizon, the sky filled with shades of blue, pink and gray as day gave way to night, she had to accept that most of her issues with love and relationships had stemmed from their leaving, from the sense of abandonment she had grown to associate with the word "family". As the days passed, and her focus slowly shifted from recovering to thinking, when her body was no longer in constant stress and pain, her mind found the outlet she had always denied it, as she had refused to give in to the weakness and turmoil she knew would be found as she faced the consequences of mistakes that had never been hers to begin with, but which had affected her profoundly and changed her perspective on loving.

Max had been nothing but solicitous and loving towards her during their time there. He made certain she was always well-fed, well-covered, warm and cozy in what she had claimed as "her spot"; he didn't let her strain her body further with any desires to become active just yet, and his tenderness, though it made her feel like a little child, was strangely welcomed and heartwarming in her vulnerable state. He engaged in conversation whenever he saw she felt like it, and kept blissfully silent when he knew she needed time to think, just sitting by her side, holding her hand and letting her feel that he was there for her, even if they weren't sharing any words, just the touch of their joined hands serving as an outlet for her to know that even after so many years, her father still understood who she was.

As his caring attentions towards her couldn't be denied for what they were, a physical demonstration of his love for her, she started to realize that most of her emotional disabilities came mostly from anger, an anger she had never let roam free, so etched into her soul she had never fully healed, and repressed until it reached its steaming point. She had felt it, but she had never fully voiced it, she had never allowed herself to cry about it, she had never let her anger over being abandoned, alone and confused, find an outlet, but now, staring into the deep blue sea, she was ready to acknowledge that she was indeed angry, and at the same time, she knew that letting go of that anger was paramount if she was ever going to find true happiness.

She hated psychology, because it had always backfired for her: when she came clean to her child services officer, and the woman didn't believe that a couple as kind as the Kellys could have locked her in the trunk of a car so maliciously for two days, when that woman didn't believe that she was being abused and labeled her as a "problematic child who was only seeking for attention", she started losing faith in people. That's when her anger had truly started to grow. For many months after their disappearance, part of her had hold on to the hope that her parents and her brother would come back for her and save her from the Hell her foster families inflicted on her. At that point, she was torn between fear and pain. But as time passed, she slowly became resigned to the fact that she was on her own, and that if she wanted to survive, she only had herself to depend on. That's when pain turned to anger, and fear turned to the resolve to never depend on anyone again.

It was that process that finally led her to view love as something that fulfilled a purpose, a mixture of raging chemicals rushing through your bloodstream, not an emotion with solid foundations in the soul. That's why when she met Michael Stires, and she became aware of the physical attraction that existed between them, she tried to put as many barriers as she could between them, enjoying their intellectual rapport, but determined not to let something as ephemeral as a physical attraction ruin what she knew she could gain from being associated with her college professor. She recalled how, one night, after working on her dissertation, 2 months after he had started his private tutoring, he had offered her a drink to "simply relax", and she had taken it, not giving it a second thought or reading more into it. Michael was older, and more experienced, and very attractive in her opinion, so she wasn't that startled when he told her he was deeply attracted to her as well, and that he hadn't made a move, considering his position of scholastic power over her. She had bluntly asked him what he expected of her if they engaged in any kind of romantic liaison, and he told her that he wasn't looking for a commitment, but that he wasn't as foolish as not to notice they were deeply attracted to each other, mostly in the sexual arena. She had laughed at his assumptions that she was expecting romance or a deeper connection, and told him she didn't believe in love or romance, but that she was also aware of the sexual pull that existed between them, that he was a very sexually alluring man, and that if he could forget their respective positions, so could she, vowing to him that she wouldn't be expecting promises or commitment on his behalf, and that all she wanted from him was to receive "a skillful introduction to sex".

She even went as far as to assure him than when their attraction wore off, or when their interests no longer meshed, they would call it quits without any resentment. He had been more than glad at her practical way of seeing things, and that had been the beginning of the sexual side of their relationship. He had taught her to enjoy her body, to ask and give at the same time, not to be shy, to demand her pleasure as well as learn how to give it. He had been a good teacher.

But the shine eventually started to wear off when her intellectual success became too much for his pride to take in. To think that his student was surpassing him was too much for him. So, after he took credit for a finding on an ancient skeleton that would shed light on its passing and would certainly earn its discoverer academic praise, along with being published, she had gone to his place, and coldly told him she thought it was time they called it quits. She told him she wouldn't disclose the fact that he had crossed some heavy lines by sleeping with a student, and that she wouldn't reveal that such an important finding had been hers either, but that she could see he was threatened by her, and that she had no intention of bowing down to him because he was "the elder" in their relationship. There hadn't been any bitterness, as they agreed they had gotten all they could from their relationship at that point. She had never been angry or bitter towards him, as her sexual initiation had been quite pleasurable, but she could see now that was the beginning of the emotional detachment she would always feel towards sex. Until she met Booth. Until she was ready to admit that she wanted more, but always was too afraid to accept it.

Looking back, she could assume she had been in a thrall, she had been swept by the allure of the older, more experienced male that Michael represented, but the respect and attraction she had felt towards him waned completely after she had to fight him, not as a student, but as an equal. She hadn't been immune to the sexual allure he continued to present, as well as the intellectual bickering he could always provide when he returned to find her years later at the Jeffersonian, but when she started seeing that even as a professional, he wasn't as devoted to the victims and to shed light on their truth, even that part of the allure that still remained started to take a bitter turn. When Daniel Goodman told her he had chosen her over him because she was the better scientist, she had realized that Michael had respected her only when it served his purposes. And when he dared undermine her character before of a jury, when he dared question her scientific findings using her personal setbacks and endanger the result of the Costello's trial, that's when she realized she needed more from any man she associated herself with.

She had been already partnered with Booth, and looking back, she saw that he was already changing her views on people, and making her desire more. Simply more.

On their very first case, she had been trying to act professional, but she couldn't deny the strong pull of the sexual attraction she felt towards him. She was quite prominent figure in her field by that time, but when she found a man that didn't bow down to her, when he stood his ground before her and didn't feel threatened by her success or her intelligence, she became intrigued. Objectively, back then she had already labeled him as an alpha-male, and a very handsome one at that. She had found him stimulating, both intellectually (in his own particular way, of course, as his gut proved quite reliable before her science) and physically, and that had scared her. They were polar opposites, but she felt there was something there she needed to explore. He might have been a cop, but he didn't behave like one, even back then. She smiled as she recalled how she told him that someone like him, a rebel, would surely know how to find a way to stand out among his peers, and in the years after that, he had made certain that he indeed stood out. Even back then, they were already influencing one another.

That night, in the pool bar, when she saw him relaxed and carefree, ridding himself of his FBI persona and showing her cockily the flashy tie he had bought because he was "declaring his individuality and going rogue", she had felt a flash of desire so pure and overwhelming she had been astonished behind belief. She had never been one to be shy to voice her desires, so when he declared he had found her punching of Judge Hasty "hot" and fired her at the same time, she hadn't been unable to keep the fact that she wanted to sleep with him. The fact that he accepted her advances without batting an eyelash was even more of a turn on for her, so when he hesitantly told her about his gambling addiction because he thought, "they were going somewhere", she hadn't hesitated to press her lips to his, in the hottest, sweetest, warmest first kiss she had ever given or received. It had been physically painful for her to extricate herself from the promise of his strong arms and soft lips, of his large hands roaming her body, but for the first time, she didn't want to screw this new picture he was presenting for her. She had already resigned herself to the fact that she didn't know how to be in a relationship, but inside of her, something screamed at her to run before she ruined what promised to be… something more than she had ever known.

That's why she had refused herself the chance to take him home and literally screw his ever-loving brains out. She felt a wave of heat pass over her body as she recalled how after she got home that night, she had stripped down to nothing, and had feverishly touched herself to the image of brown eyes, large, calloused hands tracing her skin, and the most open smile she had ever seen, finding a release that was foreign in its intensity. Their fallout hadn't diminished her attraction towards him, despite its bitterness, but years after knowing his warm, kind heart, she could accept that he would have never uttered those hurtful words after their first showdown if he had known the emotional issues she carried in her soul.

She had tried so hard to fight the attraction she felt towards him, and she could have dealt with it if it was only the sexual pull he evoked. As he became a true friend, and she became mesmerized by his kind, loyal, loving nature, she grew truly terrified, because, for the first time ever since she was a teenager, there was someone posing a real danger to her heart. When she was out of the system, and she was free of the abuse she had been victim of, she had sworn to herself that no one would have the power to hurt her again. But he had come to change all of that.

He had steadily, but surely, started to chip away at her walls, one brick at a time, every day, being there, supporting her, helping her see a world beyond science and death. The first time they truly hugged as friends, when she found the truth of her family, she had found a comfort that had been foreign to her for the past 15 years of her life. It wasn't only the feel of his strong, powerful arms around her small frame, it was also the tenderness in his hold, of his soft voice soothing her with loving, reassuring words that scared the woman who had vowed to never depend on anyone beyond belief.

She knew she owed it to him that she had a family, once again. If it hadn't been for him and his insistence, his pushing her past what she thought she was capable of, she would have never forgiven Max or Russ. But Booth, completely disregarding his obligations to the FBI, had made sure she saw the blessing she had in having her family back in her life. After learning of his own troubled past, she was awed that he could still love his father, after all he had done to him, after all the abuse he had put both he and Jared through. Countless times he had told her she had a family now, but the true test of that loyalty came on that day, when sitting behind a jury, he told a truth that was a lie in itself because he knew it would make her happy, because he knew she needed him to tell that truth so she could reclaim her father for real in her life. In those moments when their eyes met over the courtroom, she realized he could read what was deeply etched inside her heart. That she needed him to give her her family back, that if he didn't reply to her gamble, she would lose a part of herself in the process. And he, infuriating, beautiful friend that he was, took it and responded in kind. The fear she had felt at having lost his trust erased when he simply engulfed her into his arms, not a word said, just them sharing the same space, both relieved that they had managed to hold on, his warm eyes boring into hers as she rejoiced in her victory.

Now, thinking back on every selfless, loving action coming from him, she could begin to accept that she didn't feel worthy of being loved by him, and had tried to see his actions as only tokens of affection from a loyal, loving friend. But despite her better intentions, her heart had yearned for him, and wanted to scream at him to make her believe she could be loved, that she deserved the love of a good man, as scarred and emotionally stunned as she was, no matter how hard and how fast she ran.

Her fear had been the sole motivator behind her request for his sperm. She wanted a part of him inside her, she wanted to feel that miracle, knowing it was _his child, _growing inside her womb, that connection no one could steal from her. She didn't want to hurt his gentle heart with her issues and awkwardness, she couldn't risk losing his friendship, but she could have this. But when he finally refused to comply with her wishes, telling her he had to be there for her, that he couldn't go through with it if he couldn't be a father to their child, her heart had broken. Of course, the pain of her disappointment had receded before the imminent danger of his tumor and the danger it posed.

She shivered as she recalled the uncertainty of those days, of seeing him lay there, so helpless, so devoid of life, such a painful contrast to his lively spirit. His last words to her, his last gift to her before he surrendered to the pull of the anesthesia had prompted her to write that story where their lives were so acutely different from their reality, but what had remained was the bond they would always share. Thinking back of his words, knowing that if he didn't pull through, she could have a piece of him forever broke her heart beyond belief, and she comforted herself in the dream world she created, for them both, a safe haven where their love could accomplish anything, where she wasn't afraid to let herself go and love someone.

She lost herself in the beauty of a life that had nothing to do with murder, a world where she hadn't hesitated to give herself to him, where she was open, affectionate, and unafraid to be loving and nurturing. That last image, of her body in his lap as she told his dream self they were going to have a baby was forever burned into her brain, and her throat had closed in tears as she truly thought he was lost, that he would never be the same Booth that had claimed most of her heart. And when he woke and asked her who she was, her pain grew to an insurmountable degree. There was so much desire, so much longing in his eyes whenever he looked at her, and her heart had shattered every single time Angela or Cam had to explain she wasn't his wife and that they weren't going to have a baby, seeing his eyes revealing his broken heart as he refused to let go of the comfort that dream world had provided. That was why she had run to the nearest dig at the first chance, beating herself up as she told herself she was a lousy friend, but unable to cope with the overwhelming pull of emotions threatening to drown her in their intensity, emotions that could only grow when she was near him.

Her eyes filled with tears as she recalled those months of trying to make him find his footing, of feeling how heavily he was leaning on her for guidance, and the tears started to fall as she went back to that fateful night in front of the Hoover. She had broken both of their hearts, but she honestly believed that she couldn't be what he needed, what he deserved. He deserved someone like him, open-hearted, kind to a fault, brave, devoid of scars. She wasn't any of those things. And she confirmed it, when she selfishly asked him to continue being her partner, even if she knew she had just crushed his heart. It hurt seeing him try to move on, but that gave way to the fear of losing him for real. No one would know the countless nights she had spent crying, and praying to a God she had lost faith in so he was safe, wherever he was. The idea of receiving a call telling her he had been killed or wounded was too painful to consider, so she immersed in her work like a diver in a reef, but at night, when the silence was only broken by the sounds of the Indonesian jungle around her, she couldn't stop the bitter tears that soaked her cheeks, dreading that she had broken _them_ beyond repair.

When Caroline had called her, and asked her to return to help Cam before she lost her job, she had been giddy as she realized _he was coming back _as well. Her giddiness had receded before the real evidence of the fact that he had found someone to move on with. She had used every acting skill honed through years of hiding her emotions from the world, to hide the stinging bitterness of knowing he had moved on from his eyes. She had truly tried to be happy for him, to support him, to be a real friend, to be _a better friend_ than she had ever been, but seeing what she could have had before her eyes so close and yet so far was breaking her. Feeling him pulling away, sensing that perhaps this was the very first time when the center was truly threatened, feeling that Hannah was the first woman to truly pose a threat to her and steal his heart, was more than her scarred heart could deal with. The Lauren Eames' case had come at a time when she was trying to valiantly show him she was there for him, as a friend, but it was seeing how this brilliant woman had lived her life, succeeding professionally but completely detaching herself from love and emotions, which made her realize she was walking a path dangerously leading her to the same loneliness and emptiness the doctor had experienced. When he saved her from meeting the same fate as the deceased doctor, dying alone and unwanted, when he proved to her that despite the fact that he had someone waiting for him at home, she still mattered to him somehow, she was unable to keep her emotions in. All her regret, all her pain, all her confusion came forth, but what had saddened her was to truly realize losing him hadn't been his choice, that he hadn't had any choice, because she hadn't given him any to being with.

She couldn't blame him for trying to be happy, and she felt ashamed and embarrassed, because a part of her had secretly and honestly hoped he would still be waiting for her, and she felt even more selfish at realizing she didn't want him to move on from his love for her, but that decision had been taken out of her hands when her only response to his "I have to move on" had been "can we still work together?", thus probably leading him to believe that all she wanted from him was his friendship and the success that came from their partnership.

She was a scientist, and she rationally knew that for every action, there was a reaction. She had been constantly and surely pulling away from him when he still bravely tried to hold on, to retain some semblance of their old relationship, even when staying close to her must have been killing him slowly. Even after Heather Taffet was convicted, and she voiced her fears to him outside Founding Fathers for the first time, and he desperately tried to make her see they could work through it, _together, _she had still pulled away because she couldn't confide in him that he was threatening the safety net that had been her shelter for most of her adult life, the net that had pulled her through years of abuse and heartbreak. She had made him leave, or as Angela would pull it, she had made it impossible for him to stay, and she couldn't blame him for finding someone who didn't hesitate to take his love and his heart.

She wiped her cheeks, and inhaled deeply, trying to calm herself, trying to stay on the path her mind had taken. Now, after so much pain, there was finally a new road before them. The possibility of forever was there, but she needed to be more, for him, but mostly for herself, and to do that, she needed to heal, she needed to let go of the fears so deeply rooted in her soul to give him the love that had always been there, inside her. She knew she would always feel that sense of apprehension, but she needed to find the way to truly start believing that she could be loved, and that she could love someone back, and be brave enough to start threading the uncharted waters of giving your heart to someone, and trusting that no matter what, that love would remain.

She clasped the blanket tighter around her body, and willed herself not to stray, but mostly, to face the questions that she needed to answer: she knew there was an even bigger question lying under the surface, a question that scared her beyond belief.

There was no doubt as to her motivations when she lunged for Parker, even if at the same time she was running to shelter him from the danger Taffet presented. She hadn't lied when she told him that she knew he couldn't go on without his little boy. She had seen it when he thought Epps had threatened Parker, how that crazy light in his eyes had only diminished when he was able to hold him in his arms, even if he had scared the poor boy to death when he shouted at him, demanding for answers.

She knew that to Booth, Parker was the center of his existence. That his little boy gave him the hope to continue fighting to right the wrongs of the world, to make it a better place for him. And ever since she had stared into the hazel eyes of that little angel, she had been mesmerized. She had never done well with kids, but Parker had proven to her that a part of her could relate.

She couldn't forget how Parker had, without his knowledge, eased her pain when he had voiced to Booth and Hannah that she was "so cool". To find someone who didn't instantly judge her as awkward had been a relief, and seeing the glint of trust and excitement in those innocent eyes had eased her heart. To live in a world where evil had taken him was unacceptable.

She shook her head, trying to clear her mind. Yes, she knew she would have never been able to live with herself if Taffet had succeeded into hurting him: she would have always blamed herself if he had been killed, she would have always assumed the responsibility for not doing more.

But now, with all of her wounds open to the air, practically smelling the putrefaction that years of hiding them instead of letting them heal had done to her soul, she knew she had to be brave enough to accept an even scarier realization.

When she saw what Taffet was about to do, she knew she would be hurt. Adrenaline was rushing through her bloodstream, but her brain hadn't stopped thinking, or analyzing the situation and its very possible outcome. And while her first thought indeed had been "_Don'tletherhurthimDon'tletherhurthimDon'tletherhurthim, please", _a mantra screaming inside her head nonstop until she reached Parker and felt the searing pain of the bullet, a second thought was viciously hiding underneath it all.

Her rationale had warned her, _You'll be hurt, _but her heart had screamed, _perhaps you can make it go all away._

She let her head fall, and tears started falling down her cheeks as the thought presented itself with resonating clarity. She was a fighter, and not even in her darkest hours, not even when she was being abused, taking her life had been an option. But when Taffet threatened Parker, a part of her had jumped at the opportunity. She could go, being a hero, having saved his little boy, without them knowing that the thought of death didn't seem so scary to her anymore, that it was presenting itself as a welcome relief from the pain that was choking her with each passing day, engulfing her like a tidal wave of a tsunami that didn't seem to end.

She drew a ragged breath, ashamed at the idea that a part of her had even considered running like that from her problems, but the sadness she felt had been so overwhelming in its intensity it had made her thoughts grow impossibly dark.

And it was this moment of clarity that also made her realize where the root of her fear was. If losing Booth when she had never had him had done so much damage to her heart, what could happen when he truly left her? That was the root of her saying no to him that night, the root of her pretending to be ok with him finding love and happiness with a woman who couldn't love him the way she did.

Seeley Booth could be the source of her greatest joy, but at the same time, he could be the root of her deepest, darkest despair. He could take her to Heaven, but he could also show her Hell.

It was realizing how deeply he had engraved himself to every aspect of her life that posed the threat to her sanity, it was feeling how she didn't imagine her days without him in them that terrified the same 15 year old that still waited, perched on her window, waiting for her parents to return, the same 15 year-old that was still waiting on the house she had vacated long ago.

All rationale aside, she couldn't deny that what she experienced during her coma could very well happen. The searing pain inside her chest that returned as images of her life without Booth, of seeing him happy, _without her, _made her tears run faster. Perhaps it was true, and seeing her mother during her dream was indeed her brain's way of showing her what she consciously had been making blind to during those days. Though she could doubt the final outcome, a part of her had needed the empty comfort of knowing he wasn't completely happy without her, but seeing it had broken her heart. And the other side of the coin, their happiness, their joy, the sense of completion and righteousness that came from their joining couldn't be deny. A part of her wanted to scoff at the possibility of her turning into a wife and mother, but the heart that she had been denying herself for almost 20 years reminded her that once upon a time, she had believed in love, and she craved it.

She could say that being with him as a friend and partner could be compared to drops of sudden rain to wet her parched throat enough to keep her alive during a drought. She covered her face with her hands, and massaged her throbbing temples. Indeed, her life after her parents left until this point could be compared to a drought where love, like rain, was nowhere to be found until _he came._

The overwhelming sense of happiness she had felt at the images of them together, of their family, of their love, couldn't be rationalized under the guise of an oxygen-deprived brain or the pull of the drugs used to sustain her. And if they were indeed simply the result of the trauma her body had suffered, the truth is that she longed to live those moments, and she wanted to grab on to them.

And to finally father the courage that had been escaping her for so long and heal _for her and him_, she had to begin at the real source of her infected wounds. Luckily for her, half of that source was less than 10 meters away, ready to give her the answers she had never dared get.

**Well, I can only hope that I tackled every single aspect our Bren has to think about. I know this must have been hard to read, as it is only reflections on her mind, but I guessed we all needed to see her thought process and the root of her emotional issues.**

**TO make up for the long absence, next chappie will be up tomorrow afternoon, as I'm tweaking it already. It is all written, but I'm improving it.**

**I certainly hope this earned me your forgiveness. Whether it sucked or rocked, let me know, please. You are the fuel that gives the strength to continue writing among my pain!**

**Love you all, and remember to feed the musie. A happy musie pushes me to write faster!**


	15. Chapter 14

Max had been staring at her through the wide French doors, giving her the time he knew she desperately needed to sort herself out. He had seen her lost in thought more than once during the 5 days that had passed since they had arrived, and his heart had clenched just as many times as he saw her give in to tears when she thought he wasn't looking her way. Ever since she had asked him to bring her to this place, he had read the intent behind her request, and he was awed by the fact that his daughter had finally gathered the courage to fight the demons he and his wife had lured into their house with their actions, with their abandonment. It was no wonder that people said that the wounds of adolescence could take an entire lifetime to heal.

Russ had always been an easygoing kid by nature, making friends easily, and doing reasonably fine on his studies, even if sometimes he slacked and they needed to push him a bit. But in contrast his beautiful daughter had inherited a brilliant mind that contrasted to a painfully fragile heart. When he had begged Ruth to take at least their daughter with them, knowing how hard things would be for her, she had adamantly refused, saying that as hard as it would be, both for them and for their children, she would never expose their Temperance to the hardships of the life they had so mistakenly chosen or to the dangers they would surely be facing in the future, but deep inside, he knew that out of the two of them, their little girl would carry most of the brunt of their abandonment. Russ had been hurt, sure, and he had leaned towards the wrong side of the road when choosing his path in life, but emotionally he wasn't as scarred as his Tempe. For all her success, his baby girl had been hiding a myriad of wounds that needed to be aired, wounds that he had to help her soothe, because most of them had been their doing.

Max took the seat beside her after a while, but remained silent, just holding her hand, rubbing her knuckles, seeing her lost in thought, knowing that the time for them to truly bare those wounds had come. Long minutes passed, and she turned glassy eyes to him, and he saw the desperate 15 year-old girl that had been left without answers, thinking she was unloved and unworthy, the same girl that lived inside the soul of the woman that had succeeded beyond the odds.

"Dad", she cleared her raspy throat, her voice betraying the tears she had just cried, "You've told me many things about your past, but I've never understood… why. Why you chose that path to begin with, why you chose to continue through it, why… why you left me, why you left us. Rationally, all the answers are in your file, and most of them I know, but I need to hear it from you, not the written account, the real thing. I… I need to heal, Dad. I need to believe that leaving me behind wasn't the easy way out for you and Mom. It… it has changed me, and I need to let go of it. I can't continue carrying this pain, Dad. It's eating me alive, and I need to think back on those years and not feel my pain was for nothing. Explain it to me, Dad. Please", she said desperately, and Max took her hand, and kissed her knuckles reverently before letting out a heavy sigh, and started.

"Why we began? It's hard to explain. I don't want to use the old sob story about how I didn't have any choice, but I need you to understand. My parents died when I was 18, and I had nobody to turn to. I was already a senior, and I liked school, but when they were gone, I turned… angry and bitter. I was still good at school and I made it to college, but I was dissatisfied with my life. I barely had any money to get by, and I met the wrong people. Some of them were rich kids who just wanted to have fun, and they took those jobs as a dare, to prove to themselves that they could. I met your mother during that time, and I just fell in love with her. We were both young, and I guess… It got to us, the thrill of being so good at something so dangerous was hard to ignore.

At the beginning, a great part of it was the thrill of the adrenaline rush we got after we got out safe. We didn't mean to, but we were approached by the rest of what later became our group. Times were difficult, and there weren't many jobs around. Your mom and I barely got ourselves through college, and we struggled to make end's meet. I know that's no excuse, but when you're that young and you're presented with something that can get you out of a difficult situation and you're desperate, it's hard not to take it. It was easy money, and your mom and I had no real expectations past college, given our situation. I can honestly tell you we didn't mean for it to last, to became the way we would make our living in the long run, but as time passed, and we became the best at it, things started to get complicated", Max sighed heavily, seeing his words sink in. Indeed, he could honestly say that he had never intended for stealing and murder to become his way of living, but as he said, there came a point when you could only see what was in front of you, and he truly never saw a way out, and neither did Ruth.

"As we started taking more complicated jobs, we started going deeper, and deeper. From my file, you know that I never killed any of the good guys, and the rest of the gang knew that I would never accept that they killed an honest cop or anyone who was an innocent. Perhaps you'll find it hard to believe, but I told them that because I saw in them what I was, only someone who wanted to provide for their families. I only killed people who truly posed a threat to us, when I felt there was truly no other choice. It was either them or us. Survival of the fittest, so to speak. This happened around the time Russ was born", he said, staring into the deep blue of his daughter's eyes, seeing his wife there, so gentle and bravely trying to forgive him.

"Things started becoming more difficult, and the rest of the group started to associate with people who were into mafia killings, drug rings… We didn't want any of that, but before we knew it, we were associated with corrupt cops in very high places. Many of the guys who I killed had tried to go after us, and it was during those days when they accused Marvin Beckett of the Gus Harper killing. It wasn't long after you were born, and you were so fragile, so little…", he trailed, doing his best not to falter under her stern gaze. "I already told you, when your mother realized Harper had found out how many FBI cops both high and low rank were dealing with drugs, helping our group get out clean from our missions, and receiving part of the profit, that's when she grew truly scared. She knew there was no getting out. We had thought that we would please the group, do our share of missions and try and walk silently, but by then, things started to go downhill. We didn't know what to do, and by then, we knew that if we tried to get out, they would go after Russ and you. That's when we changed our names, and moved. It wasn't about us anymore. We had you to think about, and while Russ was little, you were just a toddler, and we didn't want to submit you to a life of running around.

So we rearranged everything and from that moment, we tried to get our act together, lead a clean life, no stealing, no murder; yes, we lied and created credentials and everything, and for a while, it worked, but then a few of our friends found us, and asked us to help out with some tough jobs, which we agreed on because they had helped us when things got difficult and helped us stay under the radar when we first left, and out of loyalty to them because we owed them, though our hearts weren't in it anymore.

Before we knew it, we were pulled back under once again, and things were going all right for our family at last; we got rich, and it was enough, but we knew the rest was still looking for us. They knew we had the evidence that would make heads rolls at the FBI, Kirby's involved, and they wouldn't rest until the evidence and all the people who had looked at it were wiped out. Your mother knew having that evidence was both a curse and a blessing: it could become barter material, or it could get us all killed. As time passed, we truly believed we had managed to fool them, but when we saw McVicar following us, we knew they hadn't given up, just fooled us into a sense of comfort so we let our guard down. And they wouldn't go just after us. McVicar was sent to kill us, and he would have killed you and Russ without a second thought", he sighed, and she squeezed his hand, saddened at seeing her usual lively father so defeated by the memories.

"Mom told me in the video she left for me that it was her that made you leave, that you wanted to take us with you, but that she didn't let you", she said softly, and he nodded sadly, raising his eyes to meet hers.

"Your mom truly believed that we could take McVicar and anyone who was after us out and come back for you after a while. She was afraid that if we took you with us, you would be exposed to more danger, and she guessed we could have the job done faster if we were alone than if we had to worry about you. I know this is not an excuse, but she honestly thought Russ would care for you until we returned. We never thought he would bail on you. All we wanted was to get McVicar off our tails so he didn't go after you and your brother, but he got to us. We had spent so much time running, and when we thought it was safe, we returned to find both you and Russ were missing. Your mom grew frantic, and to tell you the truth, that shook us badly, so badly we made one huge mistake and McVicar found us", his eyes were filled with tears, "I couldn't save her from him. He hit her after he stunned me with a shovel on the back. I saw him leaning over her, he had just…", his eyes welled with tears, "I don't know where I got the strength, but I managed to hit him on the head, enough for me to run and take her with me. She was ok for a while, but she started getting sick, due to the blow to her head, but she was so scared they would find us again she didn't let me take her to a hospital.

His eyes took on a new sadness, "I've never told this to anyone but… it was she who asked me to bury her in that cemetery, in Pennsylvania. It broke my heart to do that, not to give her a proper burial, but she told me it was the only way if something ever happened to her and I remained, to cover my tracks. That she only hoped we could meet again, and I could try and make you forgive me. After that, I tried to find you, I really did, but I truly saw no choice but to regain the name I had made for myself, and to make certain people became so afraid of me they wouldn't even consider going after my children. When Kirby found where Russ was, and asked Delaney to go after him, I knew it was time to finally put a stop to that. The rest you know. I know we took the wrong path, and we paid… we paid with our lives for it, but you need to know there was never a day when we didn't think about you, when we didn't ache to know you were out there, without us. Our only comfort was knowing they hadn't gotten to you, but you need to believe we didn't leave you because it was easy.

You were my little girl, and I wanted so badly to take you with me, but you were so young, and your mother didn't want to expose you to the life we had lead", he finished tiredly, "I didn't want to taint you, your innocence, but I failed, we both failed you. And I know, it will take me a lifetime to earn your forgiveness, honey".

Her eyes were leaking a steady current of tears by now, finally hearing the whole truth behind their actions, and seeing how the gravity of their mistakes had forced them to leave, not a lack of love for her. "I need to forgive you, Dad. You took the wrong path, and Russ and I paid for it. I was so angry, so hurt. I wanted to understand why, but you need to know, and I'm not saying this to hurt you, but you need to see why I was so… determined not to let you in my life once again", she closed her eyes, and sighed heavily, trying to find some calm so she could begin her tale.

"During my time in the foster system, I had some good homes, at least, homes where they didn't abuse me. They weren't loving, but they were ok. But most of them gave up on me because all they saw was an angry teenager, awkward, silent, socially stunned, emotionally crippled, unable to relate to others. When I was 17, I was moved to a new foster home. I had been in 5 foster houses by that time, since the parents said I was "too troubling and upsetting" to their real children. I felt like a freak, and surely, everyone at school thought it so.

This family seemed ok at first, but as days passed, I saw the truth. They only took foster kids for the allowance, and they made me take more chores than I should, more than any kid should. They made me scrape the floors until my fingers bled, they made me clean the bathrooms until there was not a scope of dirt, insisting it wasn´t clean enough even if it reeked of bleach, and they would slap me if there was a lint on a shelf, even if my hands were burned beyond belief. They starved me, and didn't give me any money for lunch at school as they were supposed. So I had to make do, and save what I could of breakfast so I didn't faint at school from hunger. I also took tutoring jobs without their knowledge, and lied to them, saying I had to stay back at school to help a teacher so I could tutor those students and receive some money. I bought essentials with that money, soap, deodorant, shampoo, since they didn't give me a cent, and saved what I could", she let out a ragged breath, remembering how hopeless life seemed back then, how her hope had been stolen from her each day she had to live in that house.

She stared into Max's eyes, seeing her pain reflected there, and her eyes filled with tears, knowing she was going to stab a knife through his heart as she revealed details not even Booth knew about. It was fitting that Max was the first to know, as he needed to understand the dimension of what their leaving had caused for her.

"One day, they had invited some friends over for dinner, and they used their "good china" to show off. They were like these families that have money but live like they are poor 90% of the time?", Max nodded his understanding, his eyes filled with pain at listening to her horrid story, "Before they arrived, they had warned me I was to clean everything and leave it spotless when their guests left. The kitchen was filled with pots and dishes, dirty beyond belief. After their visit left, they told me I wouldn't use gloves because they couldn't risk me losing my grip on the dishes. They opened the faucet until steam rose and made me wash the dishes like that, scolding me if they thought I was doing it wrong. It hurt so much, my hands were bright red, but they didn't care that I was begging them to let me use the water a bit colder. They made me add more soap, and redo them because to them, they weren't clean enough. I couldn't take the pain after a few minutes, and a dish slipped from my hands. The mom came and slapped me hard, so hard it bruised my cheek, and made my lip bleed, and the father… he grabbed me by the elbow, and started dragging me to the garage. It was the middle of November, and it was so cold. I begged him to forgive me, that I would pay him back for the broken dish, but he started punching me in the face, so hard, I felt blood pouring from my nose. I was so weak, and I… I was severely underweight, and he was so heavy… When I saw him open the trunk of his car, I started screaming. He punched me again, this time in the jaw, and I was stunned enough for him to grab me and throw me inside. I tried to stop him, but I was lightheaded from the pain, and before I knew it, he closed it. I started screaming and kicking the trunk, I begged him, I pleaded, but he just told me I had been warned of what would happen. I heard the latch of the door to the garage close, and it didn't open for the next two days.

They left on a trip, telling me they were tired of hearing my screams, and that they hoped I would come to my senses and that I better shut up, because no one would listen anyway, but I didn't give up. Even after they left, I kept screaming, and I did it when I felt movement outside, and I thought someone could hear me. A neighbor must have heard my screams as he completed his morning jog 2 days after that, and he called the police, who called child services. They discovered me inside the car still. I was unconscious, dehydrated after two days without water or food, I had soiled and peed myself… They later realized I was indeed severely malnourished and they discovered all the bruises, old and new. My face was completely swollen, and blood was plastered to my skin, so that was enough for them.

They waited for them to get home, and they were arrested for child abuse. They also removed the officer in charge of my case, as they realized she hadn't taken into account all of my complains from all the other foster homes, and her labeling of me as a problematic child had been her way to just ignore my problems and get off easy. After 3 days in the hospital, I was moved to a new house. The Cheeneys. They were older, but they were so kind. I was guarded, after what I had just been through, but they behaved like… like they were my grandparents. Jeffrey, that was his name, asked me to call him grandpa, and his wife, Louise, told me she wanted me to call her Grandma. They were truly kind, they fed me, helped me heal, they encouraged my schooling, and made certain I kept my grades up and they helped me get the scholarship to Northwestern. I was with them until I aged out. They were the best of them all, and they made me believe that not all people were bad. They truly cared for me, and understood why I was so withdrawn, and never gave me a hard time about it. They called me regularly when I was in college, and they even sent me a graduation present", she finished tiredly.

Max had been battling his anger towards those people who had dared hurt his little girl, and his heart had broken at hearing how she had been abused. He fought the urge to find them and show them a piece of the real Max Keenan, but this wasn't the time to think about that. He needed to focus on his daughter, and on her pain. But he made a note to find who they were, as he realized his daughter had conveniently forgot to mention their last name. He knew Booth would be more than glad to assist him in this endeavor, FBI or not.

"What happened to them, honey? To the Cheeneys?", he asked.

"Grandpa Jeffrey died about 8 years ago, and Grandma Louise followed a year after. She was too sad to be without him. They had been married for 50 years. They loved each other so much, and there wasn't any resentment between them, even if they didn't have any children after Louise miscarried several times. Jeffrey loved her so dearly. I guess… I was too angry and hurt to believe true love existed. But looking back, I can see why Booth believes in marriage so much. They were truly an exemplary couple", she said sadly, and Max raised his hand to caress her cheek, and she nuzzled his palm, closing her eyes, receiving the comfort she had denied herself for so long. She had always loved Max, despite her pain, she truly did.

"That's why it was so hard to forgive you, Dad. I looked at you, and I could only remember all the pain, all the abuse I had to go through. I looked at Russ, and I saw a brother who couldn't stick around for me, who left me to fend for myself. I… hardened my heart so I didn't feel, so no one could hurt me again", she sobbed, "But I still loved you. I never stopped. Even in my darkest days, I only hoped that I could find you", Max took her in his arms carefully, and was incredibly grateful when she went willingly to his lap, hiding her face in his chest, "I wanted to hate you so much", she cried, and he rubbed her back tenderly.

"I know, honey, and I deserved it. I don't deserve your love. But I never stopped loving you either. No matter how grownup you are, how successful, to me you'll always be my sweet little girl. No matter if you marry and have a dozen kids, you'll always be my Tempe", he swore against her hair.

"I never wanted kids, Dad. I didn't know, I still don't know if I can be a good mother. Booth tells me I will be a great mom. But I fear I'm so damaged I can't love them the way they need", she sobbed, "But… I want to be a mom, I want to feel that kind of love. But I'm so afraid", she said.

"Honey", Max began, "After all you've been through, it's only natural. Look, baby, you had to find your way into the world without us, and you're the bravest person alive because you went through the hardest things a person could go through, and came out, stronger and more beautiful than anyone else. You've always made me so proud. But you need to see that the important part is not if you're afraid. Fear, in a reasonable measure, is a good thing. It makes you be more careful, more cautious. It becomes a setback when fear stops you from living, from loving. And I know, you don't hesitate to go into dangerous situations or places if it's needed, but the real proof is giving your heart to someone, and trusting that someone with it. I told you when we first saw each other that if you found someone you could trust, to hang on to them. Booth is that person for you. He loves you. He might have screwed up lately, but even I have to admit the man has loved you for the longest time. I was angry at him, but I can't deny that a man that looks at you, cares for you the way he does, loves you completely. He loves you so much he even convinced you to forgive me, a criminal, probably going against everything he believes in, to make you happy.

He's a good man, and that's all I want for you. He's been your friend, and gone to lengths for you no other man has. Sure, he handled things wrong, and brought the blonde Barbie with him", they chuckled slightly at his derogatory mention of Hannah, "But he loves you, honey. A man doesn't sit by someone's bedside looking as heartbroken as he did if he doesn't love her. It's time to put the crap behind you, and stop being afraid. You need to believe, you were always loved. And will always be, and let me tell you something. Your kids will be blessed to have you as a mother, and if you don't trust me, trust someone like Booth, who wants the whole enchilada, with you", he said softly, and she sobbed wholeheartedly, as his words soothed wounds that had never fully healed.

He rocker her like he would a small child, and he rubbed her back until her sobs grew to hiccups and then to heavy, tired sighs.

"Thank you, Dad", her voice sounded little and broken, but there was the tint of hope lacing it that told Max things would be ok.

"No, honey. Thank you", he held her in his embrace after the sun had long faded into the horizon, and only the twinkling stars were their companions. She had a tired, tentative smile on her lips as he helped her to bed, knowing carrying her would be pushing it too far, but he managed to tuck her in, basking in the moment, forgetting she was supposed to claim she was independent and not a baby. After so many years of pain and doubt, it felt like all the pieces of her heart were coming together to make a whole.

"We were really happy here, weren´t we? For such a long time, I couldn't trust that the happiness I saw in my memories could be real", she said, staring at him, feeling his soft caress on her cheek, his knuckles whisper-soft on her skin, "I thought it was the way my mind was coping, to give me hope… For so long, I didn't want to believe that I had ever been that happy. But I remember everything, how… we were just a family, but we loved each other, and we were happy", there was no more bitterness in her words, and Max could hear how she was reconciling all the pieces of her life, the bad and the good times.

"Yes, sweetheart. We did. We were just a perfect, happy family. Whenever we were together like that, we were. And believe me, we would have done whatever to hold on to that", he said, and she smiled tiredly.

"I never wanted to believe I was capable of happiness. I always thought… that the risks of putting my heart on the line were too big, but I've lost so much more, Dad. And I… I think I'm finally ready to have it all", they smiled at each other, and seeing some invitation on her eyes, Max slid next to her, propping his back against the headboard, letting her head fall on his chest, careful not to strain her neck. He let his fingers caress her scalp softly, like he did when she was a little girl and she wanted to cuddle before she went to bed, and after a few minutes, her breath evened out and her body relaxed, but her hand never fully released his. And in those blissful moments, Max finally understood how much his family had lost, but for the first time had a tangible sense of hope that they would finally be able to heal.

B&B&B&B&B&B

A week had passed since that day, and after their emotionally draining conversation, a silent calm had fallen between them, no more heavy words spoken nor needed after finally airing all the events of the past, and letting the wounds heal properly. Max knew she was still processing things in her mind, but the sad sheen of her gaze had been replaced by a glimmer of hope in her cerulean depths that lit them from the inside. He knew it was hard, after she had spent so many years reconciling the events of her past, trying to truly believe that even if it had been prompted by wrong choices, they had always loved her and tried to care for her, from a distance. He knew it wouldn't be easy for her to let go of the tight reins of the control that she had had to resort to to become the woman she was today, and changing your whole mental structure about something that had scarred you so deeply would take time, but he could see how valiantly she was fighting to hold on to her new resolve.

He knew she was doing it for Booth, because she had realized how she had taken his love for granted and how living without that love lately had turned out to be more hurtful than risking the safety of the walls that had been her haven for so many years.

And if Max was a good character judge, which he liked to think he was, he was certain Booth must be desperate by this point. He understood that his daughter had explained the reasons behind their trip on the letter she had left for him with Angela (a little fact that had come up when he had told her Booth would be frantic not knowing what had happened to them on the third day of their stay). She had asked him to let her handle things in her way, but she couldn't understand that Booth needed some sort of reassurance, because as a man, Max could see that Booth would think she was running from her feelings despite her saying she wasn't, and that Booth would not stop blaming himself for the fallout of their friendship and partnership until he saw with his own eyes that she was trying to heal, for him, for them both.

She was napping calmly on the plush lazy chair, a peaceful expression on her face as she made soft breathing sounds. Assured that she was getting the rest she needed, Max entered the house and closed the thick glass door that separated the living room area from the terrace, and after staring at the screen of his cell phone for long seconds, he made up his mind.

He started writing frantically, and when he was done, he hit send with a pleased smile on his face. Part of being a parent, he had learned the hard way, was doing what was best for your children, even if it meant going against their wishes, and giving them a little push, a like a mother bird who pushed their little to fly when she knew they were ready for it. And he knew that this was the perfect moment for her little girl. Deep inside, he was afraid that in the process, she would be tempted to build her walls back again, and they were so weak and low now, it would be a shame if they didn't take advantage of it, and showed her, with their love and devotion, that keeping them down could be the best gamble she would ever take.

B&B&B&B&B&B&B&B&B

Booth had spent the last few days just holding on the hope that she wouldn't be balking on her promise, and hiding from him somewhere he couldn't find her. Strangely as it sounded, the idea that Max was with her gave him a sense of calm he never thought he would relate to the former con man that had made their lives so difficult not to long ago. Max, for all of his faults, loved his Bones, and he would make sure that she would heal in all senses of the word.

However, the waiting was killing him. He missed seeing her, and while he knew physically she was strong, the last image of her, weak and fragile, was burned into his brain so perfectly the only thing to replace the sadness the memory brought would be seeing her on the mend, and as beautiful as he had always known her to be. 7 agonizing days since he had drank in the sight of her, and he was going into withdrawal.

The squints were incredibly worried about him. Instead of turning to anger, he had entered a sad, silent state that he knew had them biting their nails in distress. He knew they feared what this new separation would do to them both. He had briefly highlighted the contents of her letter, not wanting to reveal what was rightfully and only theirs, but he had known they needed an explanation. But in their eyes he could see the pity, because indeed it was hard to believe that Brennan would break out of the patterns that had been the basis of her entire life so easily.

But he trusted her. She had never lied to him, and after the two emotional conversations they had had while she was hospitalized, he knew she was determined to forgive him, to give _them_ a new chance, and the sincerity he had seen in her eyes could have not been faked. He had learned to read all her tells, and in this instance, he knew that there was nothing but the truth in her gaze and in her words when she told him she accepted she had been partly to blame for their fallout, and that they both needed to heal to be together.

His mood had been so silent not even the agents in the bullpen dared brave his office. He wasn't curt or rude, but they had never seen such a dark aura surround him, and they feared his reaction to anything that disturbed him. The only one confident enough to approach him had been Charlie, and he had been thankful, since he had provided the breathing window he had needed not to feel the walls of his office were coming down on him.

However, there was one person he decided was wise enough to truly listen to him, even if he had known, even before he went to visit, that he was in for a very thorough verbal lambasting.

He had tried to word things in a way that wouldn't make him look like the jerk he knew he was, but one stern look from the eyes of his cherished Pops had been enough to make him drop the act and bare his heart to the man that had been his real father.

Strangely, and in a very out-of-character move, Hank had been eerily silent while his grandson described the events of the past months without the rose-colored spectacles of the life he was trying to sell himself. Of course, the name Hannah Burley hadn't been foreign to Hank, as Seeley had briefly told him he was involved with a beautiful, smart and brave journalist, and promised the older man that he would take her so they could meet, as they were the most important people in his life and he was seriously considering building a life with her: they were already building a life together, as his home was now hers as well, perhaps now legally, but in all ways that mattered. At that time, Hank had wisely decided not to voice his thoughts to him:. As a father, and a grandfather, Henry Joseph Booth he had learned the hard way that reverse psychology did work. He knew that if he started to list the reasons why getting involved with a woman while you were loving and grieving for another, his grandson would become even more stubborn in his attempts to prove that he was right, and that Hannah was the woman for him, even when the people who had been witness to the love his grandson and his bone lady were so stubbornly trying to deny knew Hannah Burley would never be the woman to fulfill his dreams and hopes for the future.

However, seeing the pain in his grandson's eyes as he told him how everything had gone downhill from the moment Temperance had denied them a chance, escalating to the point that they had even ran to the opposite extremes of the Earth to escape their pain, had made Hank stay silent as he listened attentively to everything he had guessed, but had never confirmed. He had heard the raw despair as Seeley tearfully told him that after he had thought he had found peace and love with Hannah, _she _had shattered that with her pained confusion on a rainy night, her big blue eyes filled with confusion and hesitant hope that he hadn't given up on her, _on them_.

He had also listened when he also said that it had broken his heart beyond belief to crush her heart the way he did; how, as he was telling her Hannah was not a consolation prize, his heart was shouting at him to take it all back, to take her in his arms and kiss her senseless until the sadness in her blue gaze was completely wiped out. He had seen his grandson's usual proud form shrink as he told him that hadn't it been for _her, _he wouldn't even have a son, how it had taken almost losing her to realize he had traded the real thing for a cheap imitation. And knowing how proud his grandson was, Hank knew he had to be shaken to the core to admit that to him. He was surprised, because he had heard about Taffet's death in the news, but he never imagined it had been his grandson the one to take her out and it had never clicked that it was the Jeffersonian that they were referring to.

But instead of screaming at him or using words that would surely make him feel like a child again, Hank had chosen a different pathway.

"Listen, Shrimp. I'm not going to sugarcoat this for you, because that's not why you came here. I've always been straight with you, always, and I've done my best to try and teach you how to be a good, decent man. Seeley, I've never felt more proud of anyone than I do you. No one that knows what you've been through can believe this is the man you are. You're a heart person, but you messed up, Seeley. You stopped listening to your heart and you started listening to your head. Sure, it was only your survival instinct kicking in, your desire to stop feeling pain, but Seeley, the things that are worth the most are the ones that cause you the most pain. When you father left, I second-guessed myself hundreds of times. I asked myself what I had done to make your father turn out the way he did, I asked myself what could have possibly gone wrong in the way I raised him for him to become… that man, someone who could abuse his children the way he had", he said tiredly, and Booth shook his head.

"Pops, you were a great father. There's nothing you could have done to change what he did, or in fact, to avoid it. You taught him well, but he chose to ignore it, to forget it", he tried to reassure the older man.

"It's impossible not to feel responsible, Seeley. In your case, 3 people have been in pain because wrong choices were made, on all sides. I'm not stupid, Seeley. I'm old, but even I can see when a guy is thinking with his _other brain_", he said pointedly, rising an eyebrow, making Booth chuckle weakly, despite the implication, knowing his grandfather was completely right. Indeed, his rational mind hadn't been in command on that hot, desert night when he had taken Hannah against that fig tree. "And sure, this woman was perfect. She stroked your ego, she made you feel wanted when you thought no woman would, she was beautiful, smart, successful. But the thing is, Shrimp, those are simply a mirage, a distortion of reality. I'm not saying she wasn't a good woman, but she wasn't the _right one. _At least not for you.

Your grandmother, God bless her soul, aggravated me more than she praised me. She was difficult, stubborn, she challenged me, and I couldn't have loved her more. Seeley, perfect and right are not the same, and more often than not, perfect turns out to be the exact opposite of right. I know that after what you witnessed growing up, you're dead set on having the marriage your grandma and I had. And it's completely normal, but perhaps what will make you happy won't be an ordinary life. Temperance can give you that: she aggravates you, you disagree more often than not, she doesn't believe in God or in marriage, but what I've seen is that she believes in you, without question, but she has her own issues, Seeley, her own sad story. Don't you think that I don't know how afraid you are to become like your father?", Booth's head fell against his chest, as his grandfather didn't hesitate to touch the wounds he was trying to hide and that were still raw open.

"Don't you think that I don't know that your desire to have a family is also because you want to give your son some stability? Seeley, this Hannah girl, she was the safe choice, the smart choice, sort of like jumping into a clear, calm lake. Temperance is the bold choice, she's like jumping into stormy waters without a safety net. I know you are afraid she doesn't love you the way you want to, but Shrimp, you've already told me this. How can you question her love when she risked her life for your son, while the woman who's been living with you, telling you non-stop she loves you time and time again, was the one who let go of his hand?", Hank finished.

Booth raised his pained, red-rimmed eyes to those of his grandfather, and asked him in a voice so little and unlike the usually strong, proud man he had become, "What do I do, Pops? What if now that she's gone, she realizes she doesn't want to be with me? I've been an ass towards her, the way I rejected her…", the shame and pain were visible on his eyes and it could be heard on his voice, "How can she forgive me? I promised her I would never betray her, I promised her I would never let her fall, and I let her all alone", he said pathetically, and Hank smiled sadly.

"Shrimp, Temperance doesn't strike me as the type of woman who lies. Her bluntness is one of her most difficult, yet endearing qualities. If she told you on that letter she needed to go away to heal, then wait for her. You waited 6 years without nothing tangible to wait for, just hope. Now you know you're not alone in your emotions, that she feels the same. And you should know by now, Seeley, when you truly love someone, you forgive them everything. You had me growing up, Seeley, and at least I tried to right some of the wrongs your father did. She didn't have a single soul to make her feel loved or to teach her how not to be afraid of love. She coped the best way she could. I know you understand it here", he patted Booth's temple, "But you can't accept it here, truly. She knows she needs to let go of most of what has gotten her through the hard times, and that takes time. When she's ready, she'll call. Besides, we both know she doesn't break her promises", Hank smiled.

"Hey", he touched Booth's chin and made him sit up straight, "You were a brave little boy, and then you've become a brave, brave man. Let that courage and what you know guide you. You know her, you truly do. Don't underestimate that, and don't doubt yourself. Just wait, ok?", Booth smiled softly at his grandfather. "Come here, boy", Hank stood, and they embraced tightly, "I'm proud of you, Shrimp. I truly am. Promise me you'll bring her here. I want to say thanks in person", Booth nodded, and after their ritual handshake, he left, feeling slightly better and definitely more hopeful.

B&B&B&B&B&B&B&B&B&B&B

Another week had passed, and he still had no news of her. He chose to take it as a good sign, as knowing Max would call him the moment something went wrong. But the longing was killing him, and keeping him awake.

Just yesterday, when he had been doing the sixth (or was it the seventh?) all-nighter at his office since she had left, Charlie had silently dropped a brown paper bag on the edge of his desk, and left without saying a single word. He had been curious, but he had had to smile when he saw a huge cheeseburger, with an extra-large order of fries and a pop soda that must have held more sugar than was advisable. It wasn't the gesture in itself, but the words behind it that had touched him: _you are not alone in this_, it seemed to say. There was no pity, just an attempt to boost him with the energy he needed to continue holding on. He was thankful for his agent's insightfulness, and while he knew no one knew what had transpired between he and Bones, he was thankful that his agent was looking out for him, even if he hadn't asked. He decided he must be looking worst than he thought.

He had his head against the headrest of his chair, taking 5 minutes before he resumed reading some budget reports related to his agents when his cell phone chirped. His heart stilled when he saw who the message was from.

With a shaking hand that betrayed his iron-clad control, he pressed "Read", and it seemed like someone had dripped a soothing balm on his heart as his eyes drank in the message.

_From: Keenan, Max._

_Hey, Booth. I Know ur not suppsd to hear from us, but she's doing fine. Physically, much better. Emotionally, opening old wounds to heal. She's missing u, badly. Needing u. Will bite my head off when she finds out. Details on location are at the bottom. Please, come this weekend, tomorrow better. ASAP. She's finally ready for you. Don't disappoint me. Remember who I was. Max._

Only Max Keenan could threaten him and lift him higher than the stars at the same time. He was elated to hear she was healing, but when he read that she was missing and needing him, he swore his heart skipped a beat. She had finally let the final bricks that made the wall of her fear of opening her heart to love fall down, and as Max had said, he knew she needed him. He smiled. Indeed, she would have Max's head when she heard he had gone against her wishes, but he could understand where Max's request was coming from. She was at the most vulnerable, and she would be tempted to retreat into her shell. Everything must be hurting, physically and emotionally, but if Max was asking him to join them was because he knew, just as he did, that she needed to feel the full onslaught of their love to feel the risk had been worth it.

He swallowed hard, and didn't even care that his eyes had welled with tears when he typed his reply.

_To: Keenan, Max._

_Don't fear, I'm not stupid. THANK be there tomorrow. Booth._

Suddenly his world was filled with the hope that before tomorrow was over, he would be holding his Bones in his arms.

**I hope this chapter leaves you very hopeful for their reunion… I'm already working on that chappie, it's 60% done, so I beg you, bear with me… I refuse to give you less than perfect… I hope I can give you that chappie before this week ends… **

**Thank you for sticking with me through this crazy ride!**


	16. Chapter 15

**Thank you for the amazing reviews! It was amazing to hear that you're still out there…**

**The road continues… Here is their reunion!**

The days continued to pass, and with them, she felt herself grow stronger and more like her former self. As she woke, she felt calm and rested, but she also felt an odd sense of excitement and energy, something she had missed badly, since she was so used to being physically fit. She stretched her limbs slowly, waking up, turning towards the window, staring at the first rays of sun. She loved how the sky changed colors, how it slowly let go of the darkness of the night to give way to the new day. Reflecting back, she could see that somehow, her life was reflecting those exact changes. She had been slowly letting go of the pain and fear she had carried for so long to let the light in, to let herself be happy and loved, like any other normal human being. She wasn't prone to turn to poetics, but she thought the metaphor was appropriate.

She recalled telling Booth so long ago that she was jealous of Angela, and Jack and Cam, and him, for being able to lose themselves into another person so easily and believing that love was transcendent and eternal, something she wanted to do, but didn't know how to do or even considered she wanted before. Secretly, she had longed for that connection with someone else, but the life she had led had made her cautious of such deep level of trust; and besides, experience had taught her that not many people deserved that effort on her part, as she had always ended up being disappointed by those who promised to care for her and love her, thus making her believe that those vows sometimes meant absolutely nothing before the truth of their actions. Her family first, then the pain she lived with her foster families, then Michael and his rejection of who she was and her success; it was after this deception she had stopped searching for that emotion, and had decided to aim her efforts only towards the fulfillment of her biological desires and somehow soothe her loneliness for a little while, instead of the desires she secretly carried in her heart, the desire to find someone who would soothe her battered heart, who would love her for who she truly was without judgment.

Then, after Peter, who continued to judge her and call her cold and practically used her for her body and the convenience of their relationship, Sully had come into her life, and while he had come close to threatening the stability of her walls, he hadn't stuck around long enough to tear them down. He had made her feel many things she hadn't allowed herself to feel before, and he had arrived at a point in her life when she desperately needed to feel wanted and cherished, and honestly, she had felt he was deserving of her trust. But through it all, Booth had always been there, like a shadow, keeping her safe and just helping her find her way.

By that point in her life, she had felt she and Booth were slowly heading towards becoming something more than partners, that the attraction they had felt hadn't faded during their time as partners and best friends, but when Cam entered their lives, things had shifted between them. He hadn't changed in the way he behaved, as her partner and friend, and in fact, he had made her feel his loyalty and commitment would always be to her alone, but when they parted at night, it was with the bittersweet knowledge that he wasn't going home to an empty bed, even if he had claimed afterwards that while he cared for Cam as a true friend, their sexual liaison had been just that, something they knew wouldn't last long. It somehow reassured her now that even back then, he had always saved a spot for her in his heart, as he had told her when he asked her to give them a chance. She had seen the way Cam acted towards him, and deep inside, she had known it wouldn't last as well: Cam wasn't ready to settle, and Booth wasn't someone to start a fling without knowing it could become something meaningful, because the responsibility he felt towards Parker was too big, and he wouldn't expose his son to the heartbreak of getting attached to one of his girlfriends and then suffer if things didn't work out. However, when Epps poisoned Cam, she had seen the way he had worried about her, his devotion, how he had never left her bedside, and she had started to long for him in ways she couldn't understand. If there was a reason she wanted to curse Epps, it was because he had stolen the chance to make them head towards something more: and while she appreciated his overprotective streak, she had felt the first pang of rejection, because when he told her he couldn't enter a relationship with someone he worked with because it was that dangerous, it felt like he was saying he wouldn't and couldn't give her the chance to try.

She realized that the one mistake Booth had never made, a mistake many men had regarding her, was trying to change her: Booth had always made her feel accepted, cared for, cherished for who she was. For the first time, she secretly felt like her shortcomings and failures didn't matter, because there was someone who saw who she was and didn't try to make her any different. When Sully told her that her work was important, but not important enough to be her whole life, she had acted like his words hadn't stung, but deep inside, they had. If he had truly known the extent of the pain she had gone through, and why she was so thorough, so intent on giving the dead their voice back, he would have never questioned her devotion to her work. Booth had always supported her, but he had done more than that: he had helped her find the balance she needed to have a life and her work at the same time. In all ways that mattered, Booth had set himself aside from all the other men in her life, a fact that had thrilled and terrified her beyond her comprehension.

She closed her eyes, and let herself relax fully against the soft fabric of her covers, a feeling she rarely indulged in, as she was always tight as a string even first thing in the morning, ready to pounce if needed, with her reflexes sharp and honed from a lifetime of protecting herself, of awaiting for someone to hit her hard, metaphorically and literally. But here, in this moment, surrounded by the sound of the crashing waves and the ocean breeze entering through her window, she felt that for the first time she could truly let go and breathe. With her father on the room next to her, silently but determinedly keeping vigil over her, she felt safe and taken care of, something she was quickly learning to embrace and appreciate for what it was: a token of love and not an attempt to dominate her or subjugate who she was. Her father was the first person who had understood that she wasn't like any other children, and the encouragement she had received from him and her mother was exactly what she had needed growing up to find her footing in life. No matter how hard life had gotten, the confidence she had learned from him had never been erased, and it had been the only way to hang on to her self-esteem that her foster families had steadily tried to erode with their abuse.

When she looked at the watch on the nightstand, she realized that almost 2 hours had already passed since she had woken up, and not wanting to be lazy any longer, she slowly stood from the bed, and touched her neck softly. It was still sore and tender, but not as much as it had been. When she realized it was time for her to attend her first follow-up, she had called her doctor to let him know she wouldn't be in town for him to remove her stitches, and he had swiftly booked her with a doctor at a small private clinic a few miles from where they were staying, giving her that small complacence as she was healing so fast. The young, kind doctor that tended to her had been already informed of her condition by his colleague, since they were friends, and after gently removing her stitches, he had instructed her to keep her wound dry and clean, also prescribing an ointment that would speed the healing of her skin; she was glad when he had cleared her for mild physical activity, meaning, she could now go on walks, of course, always accompanied in case she got dizzy or too tired. She was glad that at least she wasn't bound to her recliner any more, and she had already started to walk slowly across the beach's shore, Max walking silently next to her, lending her his helping hand when tiredness hit her and she refused to succumb to it, wanting to push her recovery further. She understood the mechanics of what her body was going through, but for someone who was so accustomed to being so self-reliable, it was a tough pill to swallow.

And of course, she was somewhat discouraged by the scar that now marred her otherwise perfect skin, and the doctor told her that she could wear scarves if she felt that self-conscious about it. He also told her that the cream he had just given her would help improve the initial scarring, but she knew she had to deal with it while it fully healed. She was vain enough to care about its appearance, but not vain enough not to care about what it meant: that she and the people she loved were alive and well, safe from harm, and that she now had a new chance to be happy, to make them happy, to embrace the love they wanted to give her, and to love them back.

She rummaged through her closet, choosing a light white silky dress, not wanting anything to scratch her still tender skin and opting for something fresh and soft, along with the appropriate underwear. She stripped her silk nightgown, and stepped into the shower, letting the water hit her full blast. She thoroughly washed her hair, and even took the time to run a loofa with an exfoliating cream over her skin, pampering herself as she hadn't done in the past weeks, now that she had the go-ahead from the doctor. After a long while of standing under the warm water, she dried her skin and meticulously applied creams and lotions to her face and body, wrapping herself in a plush terry robe she had brought along for the trip. She would have usually let her hair to dry on its own, but today she took the time to slowly dry it in the curly style she had foregone for the straight hair and bangs of the past few months.

As irrational as she knew she was being, and she didn't know why, but she felt the need to look pretty, and after a while she decided to apply a light makeup in rose accents. When she was done, she looked beautiful and young, relaxed and soft. She put on her dress, deciding it was casual enough for staying in or for perhaps going for a walk on the town. She stared at her reflection in the mirror, and compared it to the one that had been meeting her ever since the Lauren Eames' case had reached her life: she remembered how pale and gaunt she looked. She shivered as she recalled the deep dark circles that surrounded her eyes, how her hair looked dull and even unkempt, how her whole skin had lost its glow and she looked devoid of life. Remembering those days, she could also recall the fear and pain, because she now knew what a life without Booth was, and she was determined to continue being her own self, but luckily, with him right next to her.

When she opened her door, she was hit with the enticing smell of pancakes permeating the air. She smiled softly, thinking her father was on a mission to fatten her up, and she couldn't blame him for trying. Now that they were staying together, he had noticed how thin she had become, a fact she had tried to hide under her clothes and loose jackets, and he was resolute to help her regain her healthy weight back, though he always told her she looked lovely, no matter what. It always made her feel better, because she could see the honesty in that statement in his eyes.

Max sensed her presence, and raised his eyes from the pan, smiling softly at her.

"Wow, honey. You look beautiful today", he said earnestly, getting a wider smile in response, "What brought it on?", he knew she had been favoring comfort over looks during her recovery, and for a fleeting moment, he thought perhaps she had somehow found out he had told Booth to meet them here, though he knew she wouldn't have, because he would have already received the "talk" of a lifetime.

"Nothing. I don't know. I just woke up, and I felt like… stop looking sick and dreadful", she teased, but Max shook his head.

"Honey, you could never look dreadful, and you're already looking tons better than when we got here, but I'm glad to see you're feeling better, and with enough energy to pamper yourself a little", he smiled. "Now sit. I have your breakfast ready", she headed over to the table and sat, smiling as he placed a plate with pancakes covered in syrup, and a side dish of strawberries and slices of mango, along with a glass of orange juice.

"Thanks, Dad. It looks amazing", she said honestly, and while she had never been a big eater, it felt good to indulge herself in these little pleasures, so she started to eat slowly, and then Max took his own plate and sat before her on the small kitchen table, talking about mundane things and just being there, enjoying each other's presence. Apart from Booth, he was the only person who understood and respected her need to be silent at times.

"Dad, I was wondering if we could go to the town. I would like to take a walk there and get to know it", she said.

"Aw honey, I know you're all dolled up and everything, but I'm quite tired. I had trouble sleeping last night, and…", he didn't know what credible excuse to come up with, as he knew Booth would be arriving any time and he didn't want him to come to an empty house and turn on his heels. "But you know what? Let me rest for a little while, and we can go in the afternoon ok?", Max said, and he was glad she had bought into the lie, because she smiled tenderly.

"Are you sure you're all right?", she looked worried for a moment, and he reached for her hand, "I am, honey. It's just that I'm old now and at this age, everything starts to ache", he teased, and she rolled her eyes, but continued eating.

When they were done, he took their plates and started washing them. She hadn't been able to eat the whole thing, but she felt pleasantly full and her energy levels somewhat lifted.

The day started to pass, slowly, they busied themselves with sharing memories and reminiscing about the good days, playing cards and dominoes, and before they knew it, it was time for lunch. He made them both some unexpectedly tasty chicken salad, and they ate companionably. She was still sitting on the table, and he gently instructed her, "Why don't you go outside and sit on your chair? I'll meet you in a little while", she slowly nodded and stood, walking to the terrace. He saw her leaning against the rail, lost in thought, her eyes clear and unguarded.

He had sent her out the moment he felt his phone vibrate, and he needed a second to check if it was what he thought it was. He didn't want to spook her, and he had asked Booth in an earlier text to let him know when he arrived to brace himself for anything, telling him where to park without being noticed.

He quickly finished doing their dishes, and dried his hands, reaching for his cell. His heart picked up speed when he read the text.

_I'm here._

There was only one reply.

_She's ready. Be gentle._

He sighed deeply, and stayed inside, but close enough to help Booth (or her) in case it was needed. He knew she would feel shocked, and a little betrayed, but what he was doing was in her best interest, and besides, she couldn't be angry at him for calling the man she loved to accompany her during the weekend at a beautiful beach getaway.

B&B&B&B&B&B&B

He was walking slowly, feeling the warm, soft sand caress his feet. He had woken to find a new message from Max telling him to park on the back of the house so he didn't want to startle her, and asking him to send a text when he arrived so he could be prepared to help diffuse any confrontation that might arise. He had arranged everything so he even had the next week off(and even 2 if he so needed it), if she agreed to his staying with them, and after packing, he had started the drive to his destination, only stopping for gas and a lunch at a small burger place, which turned out to be surprisingly tasty. Before he knew it, he was there, and excitement warred with trepidation, praying that this reunion was everything they hoped for. He had taken his shoes off to enjoy the warmth that the sun had left on the sand, and walked towards the cabin, impressed at how beautiful this little getaway was.

His heart was pounding hard in nervous anticipation, but it practically stopped at the sight of her on the terrace. 2 weeks without seeing her, and he was starved. She looked more beautiful than he had ever seen her. Max had been feeding her well, it seemed, because he could already see that her curves were slowly starting to regain their normal appearance, giving her hourglass figure that beautiful shape. Her hair was in those curls he had missed so badly, and her face had a glow he hadn't seen on her for the past months.

She looked lost in thought, leaning against the railing, not even noticing she was being watched, and his heart melted as he realized the color of her gaze matched the blue of the ocean. God, he would love to drown in those depths until his dying day, and he vowed to himself he would get to do that, no matter what.

She felt slightly chilly, and in that moment, she wanted nothing more than Booth's strong arms around her body, warming her. She missed him with every cell of her body, and her mind couldn't let go of the thought of him. She had even reached for her turned-off cell phone more than once during these days away, but had stopped herself, though the longing was killing her, still undecided about which step to take: she wanted him here, but she truly didn't know if they were ready to face each other yet. She knew he must be waiting for any type of message from her, but she was aware than once she called, she could never go back, _they could never go back. _If he came here, it was to finally start moving forward.

She was so focused on the crashing waves, she didn't even feel him silently take the few steps from the sand to the terrace and stand behind her. He smiled, and he thought that afterwards, he would tease for being so lost in her daydreaming she hadn't even noticed he was there. He wanted to surprise her, but not scare her, also knowing she could use one of her kung-fu moves on him if she was startled enough to sense him as a threat, a pain he wasn't looking forward to, so he stood behind her, and he gently touched her waist, slowly encircling his arms from behind her, wrapping them around her, giving her senses time to recognize him, and gently kissing her uninjured side, huskily whispering, "I never thought you could be more beautiful, but you are, Bones".

She gasped, and the small moment of panic, which had quickly escalated after she felt male hands than weren't her father's around her body, faded just as fast as she felt his tender kiss on her exposed skin and his soft voice caressed her ears. She thought she was dreaming about him again, but his warmth and smell couldn't be another figment of one of her fevered dreams about him.

She turned in his arms, and her eyes widened and pooled with tears at the sight of his beautiful, but tired face. He was smiling softly, and for the first time, the smile was reaching his eyes, but she could also read he was cautiously waiting for her reaction. She realized Max must have called him, and any indignation she must have felt at their plotting behind her back quickly vanished at the joy of seeing the man she loved here.

"Booth!", she threw herself at him, and his arms quickly enfolded her in a hug, his hand going to the nape of her neck, gently placing her head on his shoulder, not wanting her to injure herself in any way.

"Bones", he said tenderly, surrounding her with his arms, letting her feel his warmth. She sighed happily, feeling positively tiny against his body. Without any heels on, she was a good few inches shorter, and while before it would have bothered her, now she felt feminine and petite against his muscular bulk; in his arms, she finally felt safe and loved.

Long moments passed, and she let her head rest comfortably against his shoulder, inhaling his musky, manly, _Boothy _scent, her hand over his beating heart, which was thumping as wildly as hers, feeling his arms around her waist, soothingly traveling back and forth through the expanse of her back over the fabric of her dress; she had never fully acknowledged just how perfect their bodies molded, and she guessed she had never allowed herself the luxury to enjoy these moments. Inhaling deeply, feeling his musky, unique scent cloud her senses, she told him, "I don't need to ask you. I guess my dad called you and asked you to come?", she felt his nod against her head, and he pressed an apologetic kiss to her forehead, tightening his arms even tighter around her.

"I know you needed your time and space, but Max told me you needed me here, and you know me. I couldn't not come if in fact, you did need me. I missed you so much, Bones, so, so much", he whispered against her hair, and she hid herself against his chest, loving how healing this embrace felt. The old Temperance would have chided her for appearing so weak, but putting on a mask of strength and coolness had only brought her pain in the past, so she had decided to let him know all she felt.

"I'm not mad at you, Booth, I could never be, because I did miss you, a lot. But … I needed these days alone with Dad to figure things out, about our family, about myself. But I'm… I'm so glad you came, Booth. So very glad. I must have reached for my phone to call you a thousand times, but I… I didn't know if we were ready, for this", she whispered, just as soft, and she raised her head to meet his eyes, which were filled with a myriad of emotions: longing, desire, tenderness, lust, but above all, love.

When he stared into her eyes, he swore he had died and gone to heaven. They were finally so open, so clear, not hiding anything from him. She still looked a bit tired, but those beautiful pools of ocean blue were shinning so much he felt his heart was about to burst. He couldn't recall the last time he had been able to stare at his reflection in her eyes, and it humbled him to know he had a new chance to right his wrongs.

They turned when they saw Max standing behind the glass door, with an indulgent smile on his face, and Booth smiled at the old con, who walked to meet them.

"Booth, it's good to have you here", they shook hands, and Booth still kept a hand around her waist, his hands caressing her through the thin fabric of her dress, burning her skin in the most delicious way. "Honey, I hope you're not angry at me for going behind your back, but I know you, and I know you were missing Booth, and that you wouldn't call him, so I did it for you. Forgive me? I know I'm an overprotective Dad, but I like to take care of my little girl", he said, and she shook her head, but there was no anger behind the gesture as she had a gently smile dancing on her lips, making her look young and carefree. She reached for Max's hand, and squeezed, letting him know she was truly ok.

"I'm not mad, Dad. And… thank you both. To you Dad, for doing what I told you not to do, and to you", she turned to Booth, placing her hand on his chest softly, "For coming, even if you were risking my wrath", she teased, and he pressed another kiss to her hair, inhaling in her sweet, clean scent.

They knew they had many things to say, but they were still wary, afraid to break this calm, peaceful moment, but Max seemed to know all they needed was the space because he joined them, and said, "Honey, I'm going to the town. Remember the doctor told us you need to eat some meat to boost your energy, and knowing you, I know perhaps the only meat you're going to take is some fish, and we're out of it, so I'm going to buy some. You'll taste some of my culinary expertise tonight, Booth", he teased, and the three smiled, the old man seeing the gratefulness in both their eyes at his silent exit. "I'm taking the car. See you in a while. Take care of my little girl while I'm gone", Max said, and turning on his heels, keys dangling in his hand, he left.

"it's beautiful out here", Booth started, breaking the silence that had settled after a few minutes of standing there, both of them staring into the ocean, and she nodded, both of them enjoying the warmth of the sun, which was starting its journey down onto the horizon.

"Actually, I was thinking I could walk for a while. We were supposed to go to the town, but now I know Dad was waiting for your arrival. Care to join me?", she replied, and with a nod, they made their way through the short stairs, and left their shoes at the bottom before they started their walk.

Long minutes passed, and neither of them was brave enough to break the silence, but they knew they had to get things out of the way so their time together was finally peaceful and they could let go of grudges, old and new.

**I decided to break this into two smaller chappies, as I realized perhaps some of you would find such a lengthy piece hard to read. But part 2 is coming up next!**


	17. Chapter 16

**Here is the second part of their reunion…**

"My father finally explained to me what prompted him to pursue a career in crime", she started, her eyes fixed on the waves, needing that bit of detachment before she could meet his eyes, so she could get the words out without tearing up. She could indulge in that need when all that needed to be said was finally out. "He was orphaned at a young age, and basically, he met the wrong people. And Mom, she just followed him in whatever he did. They just wanted to be together, despite the fact that they both knew they were wrong in taking that path in life; even more after Russ and I were born", she said, and Booth reached for her hand, not forcing her to meet his eyes, but needing that small connection.

"He told me there came a point when it was virtually impossible for them to leave their group, and that they had thought that they had left everything behind after building their false identities, but that it was then when McVickar found them", Booth nodded. "He… he told me that it was Mom who asked him to bury her at that cemetery in Pennsylvania if anything happened to her, especially after McVickar hurt her, and she felt herself getting sick. Dad said she was ill for a long while, and that she asked him to continue on the run, and to try and get us back, before she died", she said, breathing deeply.

"Are you convinced now that they never stopped loving you?", Booth asked, and she nodded.

"I am. I mean, I can now fully understand how regretful they both were that the consequences of their actions reached so far they even got to Russ and I. And I can also understand that what they did, leaving us behind was for the greater good in the end, but…", she sighed, and Booth squeezed her hand.

"It still hurts, I know", she nodded, finally turning to meet his eyes, seeing the love and compassion that were in his brown eyes. "At least, it gives you the answers you needed, the ones you weren't ready to hear before", he said.

"Yes. I know that regarding that subject, I tried to compartmentalize that by means of my rationality, but the pain it caused me was still there, it was still real, and I never… I never allowed myself to experience it. But now that I did, I feel… like a metaphorical weight has been lifted off my shoulders, like that part of my life is not weighing me down as much. I also…", she breathed heavily, "I also told him what happened to me in the foster system. He was… he was so sad, Booth. I didn't want to add to the guilt he already feels, but I felt he needed to know", she said, and he raised his free hand to caress her cheek, and she nuzzled his palm tenderly.

"Bones, it's only natural that he was sad. I can't even imagine if something happened to Parker, I would go crazy", he said, and she nodded, having witnessed firsthand who truly out of his mind he could get regarding anything related to his little boy, "I… I don't know what would have happened if Taffet had hurt him. He's… my whole world. You and him are my everything, and I wouldn't have him if you hadn't been there for him", he said, baring his soul to her, and she smiled softly.

"It was difficult, but I felt such relief that I could finally get him to see why it was so hard for me to forgive them, to let them back into my life. And… I know Parker is not mine, but the idea of him hurt, makes my chest feel unreasonably tight as well. I guess… I learned to care for him because he's a part of you, and because he's his own person. He's such an amazing young man. And I can put myself in a new perspective, trying to see things through my father's and your eyes", Booth nodded.

"Bones, I need you to believe me that I'm not here because I am grateful, even if I am. I'm here because… I don't make sense without you. Because I'm tired of wasting time, of wasting opportunities. I'm… tired of seeing life passing us by, and I don't want to spend another 7 years without knowing how it feels like to love you, and to be loved by you", he said passionately, making her shiver, "The question is, do you think you can forgive me enough to do that? Do you think you can trust me with your heart, metaphoric of course", he teased, earning himself a timid smile from her, thanking him for acknowledging her need to still hold on to facts, "with your happiness? Bones, if you give me a chance, I promise you, you'll never have to regret it", she closed her eyes, and her head fell against her chest.

His body was tensed, every muscle awaiting her response, every heartbeat tearing him between hoping for the best and fearing for the worst.

She raised her teary gaze, her eyes that beautiful azure that never failed to draw him in, and said, "Won't you ever grow tired of me, of how socially inept I am, of how frustratingly literal and workaholic I can be? That sometimes, I tend to say and do the wrong thing, that I don't know how to handle myself, or my emotions, that I tend to run instead of facing what I feel?", she said, and he could see the naked fear in those endless pools, and he broke the hold on her hand to cup her face fully.

"Bones, I fell in love with you, knowing all that. And all those things that make others think you're a cold fish, tell me the exact opposite: they show me how fragile, how tender your heart is. All I need to you is that you promise me you'll try, that you'll talk to me when you get scared, that when you have doubts, you'll come to me with them, that you'll give me a chance to right my wrongs, that you'll… Temperance, that you give me one day, and the next, and the next, until we realize we've spent the rest of our lives together", his eyes were also filled with tears, and after a heavy sigh, she nodded.

"I… Booth, there is something I need to ask you, something that I have been unable to get out, despite how many difficult subjects have come up in our conversations lately. Booth. That night, in your car… what you said… did you truly believe it? I mean… I know that is the past, but I need to understand…I know I'm not making much sense", she said, and he smiled sadly, and sighed heavily.

"No, you're making perfect sense. And yes, I haven't truly answered that question. Ever since we recovered Lauren's body, I saw you start to spin out of control. A part of me, the part that was your partner and friend was growing more and more worried, but the part of me that was the wounded man with the wounded pride didn't want to care, and I.. sort of compartmentalized what was happening", at her frown, which he read to be one of confusion, he continued, "I wanted to rationalize what I already knew, in my heart, was wrong. I wanted to make myself believe you were ok without me, but that day, in my office, when you confessed to Hannah and I that you hadn't been sleeping… I felt like the world biggest asshole. I knew you needed me, if not romantically, at least like the friend I had always been, and I couldn't lie to myself, because I knew I had been doing a poor job in that department lately", he said, caressing her jaw now, trying to make her relax, as he knew the subject was still very painful to bring forth.

"I saw you get more and more pale, I saw the dark circles under your eyes grow", he added, caressing the skin of her cheeks, seeing that the unhealthy paleness was slowly being replaced by the rosy hue he had missed, "And I didn't know what to do. I knew that getting close to you would threaten whatever stability I had built for my life, and that included Hannah, and I was torn between what I knew I had to do and what I feared would happen. But then, I reached my limit when I went to the lab to check on you, and Micah told me he had seen you exit the lab in a hurry and get in a cab. I was worried, because I knew that you not taking your car meant you were going to a dangerous part of town, and I instantly realized you were going to Woodland. I don't know how many traffic laws I broke during the ride there, but when I saw you leaning on that street, and that car speeding towards you, my heart about stopped. All I could think about was getting you to safety. And then, after you told me everything about Lauren and we walked to the car, I could only be thankful you were safe and seemingly unharmed, even if I knew you were crumbling like a house of cards, and for the first time, I was allowing myself to see it", they smiled sadly at each other.

"I… I would have never imagined that you would tell me all those things, bare your soul to me so openly, and the safety and stability I had been telling myself I felt flew right out the window. I could only think of how unfair things were, that it sucked that our timing was never right and we continued to miss our moment, that… I owed to myself to give Hannah a try. I don't know how honest I was, but I can only tell you that what I told you, I believed it to be true", he made her eyes meet his, as they were downcast, clearly hurt by the recollection of events of that fateful night, "But what I should have told you is that I didn't want to have any regrets either, that… losing you was my biggest regret, that I was terrified to lose myself in you, that… I didn't know if I would survive losing you once again", they smiled weakly at each other. "And even if I'm still terrified, Bones, I… I can't keep living my life like someone who's afraid of everything. Sweets said it that night on the Hoover, and it's true. I'm a gambler, but I want that to mean something good for once. I know there will be risks involved, but you're the only person I want to give my heart to, fully and completely. But I need to know if you can… forgive me?", he said, and she leaned over to kiss the line of his jaw.

"Booth, ever since that night, I forgave you, and even before. I always understood that I was making things hard for you. I know that it would have been easier, for both of us, to just stop trying, to stop being partners, but I couldn't let go of you. It was better to have you like that than to lose you completely. And when you returned, and the dynamics of our relationship changed so dramatically, I felt like… I don't know how to describe it… Like I was losing my footing. I always understood that had I been in your position, I would have acted in the same way. It helped me see the other side of things. As painful as it has been letting myself feel all of this, I've realized it's even more painful to be away from you. Hannah… she made me see that I wanted, needed, all that you had to offer, and I realized what it must have been for you to see me with other men when you already felt so many things for me. I finally could grasp the full meaning of what Rebecca told me one day", seeing the confusion in his dark gaze, she went on to explain. "Remember when Rebecca and you hooked up briefly right before you started going out with Cam?", he nodded, and she could see he was bracing himself for whatever revelation was coming next.

"I could see that you truly believed that the reason why Rebecca hadn't married you was because she didn't see you as a good parent. I… I slightly forced her to talk to me and explain. She told me that she didn't want to be one of those women who simply married out of necessity or a sense of duty, something I could fully understand, but… the second part got me thinking. She told me that she knew she had made a mistake in saying no, but by the time she realized it, it was too late, and that she thought there was a moment where a couple either caught fire or… faded, and that she knew that you two had missed your moment, because of her. I confronted her with what I knew you were feeling, and I told her you believed she had refused you because of your work and your past. I don't know if she ever came to you with that", he shook his head, as that conversation between he and the mother of his child came back to his mind. He had never fully grasped why she had apologized to him, but now he could see he owed it to his beautiful partner.

"What made you ask her that?", he asked softly, smiling tenderly at her.

"I guess… I was already feeling protective of you, of our partnership, and I didn't like to see you in pain, because I knew you didn't deserve it. I always saw you were an amazing father, doing your absolute best with what you were given", he gave her another small, grateful smile, and she continued, " Anyway, when Lauren Eames' case came to us, it became so personal to me because she embodied that statement completely: her life was filled with regrets and missed opportunities, not as a professional, but as a person, and I saw myself reflected in her life and actions. I truly believed… I was going to end up like her, completely alone, closed off from the world, isolating myself from everyone who truly cared about me, and when you…", he pressed his forehead against hers, feeling the pain of those days hit him all over again, "I told you we had missed our moment because I knew you had given me more than enough opportunities to be more than partners and friends, and I had thrown them all away. I could have never blamed you for what was happening to me, because I saw my own hand in it", she said, and he shook his head.

"No, Bones. It all started because I broke my own rules regarding you: I knew you still needed time, I knew you were slowly changing your views on love and relationships, but I… that night, I know I forced your hand, and I reacted like a child who doesn't get what he wants when he asks for it. I was angry, because I could already see how happy we could be, and it… it angered me that you still couldn't see it, that you couldn't trust it, and I started believing, you would never get to that point. In the end, nothing I did worked. We still left for opposite sides of the world, because we couldn't deal with the weight of the pink elephant in the room", she nodded, and he knew she understood the colloquialism, "and when I realized you were going to the Malukus, I truly thought you were finally telling me you would never give me a chance to show you I could love you, and make you believe we could work, as a real couple, and that you didn't or couldn't love me back, even if I knew you cared. But I learned my lesson, the hard, hard way", he said, caressing her scar, both their eyes tearing as they recalled how close this latest brush with death had been.

"I finally understood what you meant. We're partners, in all ways that matter, and that promise, to fight for our happiness, has to come from the both of us, not only you. I know we're not easy people, we're both stubborn and argumentative, but what I do know now is that fear can't be the single engine that propels me to move, to run from my happiness. I want… I want my feelings and emotions to lead me… as you told me, putting the heart in overdrive, and… I hope I make myself worthy of so much… faith, and patience. I want… I need to learn… and I want you to be the one to teach me, because this is something I can't fail it, because it's the most important thing I could ever do", he brought her against his chest, and held her tight, "Bones, you don't have to make yourself worthy of love. You already are", and with that he felt her arms go around his waist, and they just stood there, the ocean breeze dancing around them, its coolness never enough to dissipate the heat they were generating.

They were in a cocoon, safe and perfect, and they raised their heads at the same time, finally finding their time, and their eyes met, saying what their mouths still hadn't, and deciding they had waited enough, he lowered his head and made his lips meet hers. She was waiting for him to make that first move, and her lips instantly molded to his, and when their mouths opened, they kissed with everything they had: lips, tongue, arms, hands, questioning fingers. It was love, and need, and passion, and tenderness.

They were finally so in synch they even managed to continue kissing, breathing the same air, sharing a beautiful dance of rejoining and forgiveness. He made his mind commit everything to memory, making sure he never forgot how soft her body felt in his arms, the sweet contrast of the cool air against their fevered skins, how completely she had surrendered to his possession, and how much she was possessing him in turn, how utterly perfect this surrender was.

But as perfect as this moment was, Booth still needed to hear, and to say the words they had been holding back to actually make this moment the start of a new life, of new memories, and he softly dislodged their lips, and let the back of his hand touch her silky skin, now purposely moving from her cheek to her scar, letting his fingers play with the puckered skin, letting her see in his eyes he never saw her scar, but what it meant: a new chance for the future they both deserved.

He knew she needed to take the cue from him, so he decided to let the last of his fear and hurt go, and never leaving her gaze, he said, "I love you, Temperance Brennan. I love every part of you, my sweet, beautiful Bones. I love who you are, inside and out, and everything you do. You make my life better just by being alive, and I don't want to spend another moment without you knowing it. I don't know how I was able to deny myself of your love, but I can no longer go on without you in my life. If you ever leave me, you'd better put a bullet through my brain because now that I know that you are here, I can't live my life without loving you, and proving it to you", a tear escaped her, and he brushed it away, but it betrayed the spark in her eyes, making them shine bright and perfect.

"I… I've never been good with feelings, Booth. But if there was someone who deserves all of me, if there's someone who's earned the right to be let inside my walls, it's you. It has always been you. You've shown me that I can feel, that I can be successful and also be loved. I…", she sighed, "I love you, Booth. Beyond reason, beyond science, beyond my fears and inadequacy, I do love you. I did before I knew it was possible, and I did when I thought I'd lost you. I don't… I don't want your love, your kisses, your devotion to be anyone else's. I want it to be mine, and I promise you to give you each day, each morning, each night, every singly effort I'm capable of, to make you as happy as I know you'll try to make me happy. I love what you are, what you have been, the darkest parts of you, the brightest, because even if I didn't believe in soul, you've made me believe in you, and for me, no man stands taller, and prouder, and more deserving of me letting go of the past to embrace what we can be. I love you, Seeley Booth, and if your God truly exists, I hope He gives us a lifetime to honor that love, and the promise to try for as many years as we can get", he gave her that beautiful smile she had missed so much, the smile that was only for her, and he kissed her, her arms going around his neck as his hands wrapped tighter around her waist, lifting her slightly so their lips could fully meet.

They lost track of time, but when their initial hunger was somewhat sated, he could only stare into her beautiful face, her eyes bright, her lips red and swollen, her cheeks tinted a soft pink, making her look painfully young and impossibly perfect to him.

"I love you, Bones", he said once again, because he could, "and I will never tire of saying it".

"I love you too, Booth, and I promise I will try every day, for us, to give you those 30, 40, 50 years you want, the years we deserve", and in her mind she thought, '_and the children you want so much, to make you happy´._

He lowered her to the sand, and they sat next to each other, her head against his shoulder, his arm around her shoulders, his fingers toying slightly with her scar, a fact that didn't go unnoticed by them. After a while of staring into the ocean, keeping a silent watch over the fading sun, he dared ask, "how have you been feeling, Bones? Physically speaking?", she sighed and turned her head to meet his warm eyes.

"At the beginning, I was tired, and to be honest, I was afraid of the pain. My neck muscles hurt like when you have a truly painful knot that doesn't go away?", he nodded, and she continued, "I felt I had no energy, and all my father and I did was sit outside together and talk. I didn't want to come back to DC just yet, so I decided to call my doctor, and luckily, there was a small private clinic a few miles from here where a new doctor, who's a friend of his, removed my stitches, and gave me some cream to apply so the wound heals faster and better", she explained, and he nodded once more, "He gave me the go ahead to engage in some mild physical activity, and from there Dad and I have been going on walks together. It's been a little hard, since you know I dislike feeling so helpless and weak, but I've come to accept that all my father wants is to help me", Booth smiled at her softly, happy she was letting the people she loved helped her.

"And how do you feel about it? The scar", he asked, and she retorted in kind, "What do _you _think?", he breathed deeply.

"I don't even notice it. I mean, you know my own body is full of them, and I've come to see them as reminders of my past, and of the narrow escapes I've had, and in your case… you're so beautiful and while it's there, it won't make you look any less than perfect, to me", he said, and she sighed.

"You know I'm vain enough to care. But during those days, whenever I look at it, I can only thank… whatever deity is out there, fate, my doctors, that I made it out alive, that Parker is safe and unharmed, that… I got a third chance, which is not something many people can say so very often", he smiled and stared into her blue gaze, caressing her scar.

"Whenever we both look at it, we'll remember how hard it was to get here, and we'll never take each other for granted", he vowed, and she nodded, but instantly, her eyes got shy and he noticed it, "Hey, what is it?"

"Booth, I… While you know I never cared about entering the sexual phase of a relationship… I… It's not that I don't want you, but I… I would love if we could take it slow. I know we both feel so much time has been wasted already, but… I don't want to risk this, I don't want to make any mistakes that could threaten our happiness. Are you angry? It's not… that I don't want you, I truly do, I always have, but I… I still need some time to let my heart catch up with my brain, to fully grasp that this new us is real", he smiled tenderly, and nodded.

"I get it Bones. And I want you, desperately. My whole body has wanted you long before my heart realized you were the one for me, but I… despite how much it hurts", he teased, but instantly grew serious once more, "I think you're right, and I feel the same: I don't want to make any mistakes, because this is too important. You are too important, my Bones, and I… I know that we'll get there, when the time is right. Everything happens eventually, right?", she looked into his eyes, and moving a hand behind his neck, brought his lips to hers, and after sharing a soft, tender kiss, filled with desire and longing, she replied, "Yes, Booth. Everything happens eventually. It's just a little time, and I think we both know the benefits of delayed gratification", they laughed softly, and kissed for a while more, enjoying that they now had the freedom to do so, and it was only the sound of Max's car which broke their kiss and made them walk towards the house, feeling the hope and love rush through their bodies like the most powerful aphrodisiac, giving them the strength to fight for what should have always been theirs.

**Finally they are together! But this is not the end of the road… we're not anyway near it… their love will be tested, but don't worry, I stand by my motto: always give Booth and Bren their happy ending… (Well, honestly, I strayed, just once, and I killed people with the angst, and it was just one-shot… LOL) Anyway, stay tuned and please, tell musie if this reunion was everything you hoped it would be… Remember musie also takes suggestions and takes everything into account… I hope my health lets me post more regularly, as my doctors are completely baffled and don't know what to do with me, and my exams are not being that encouraging… but I will devote whatever strength I have left for you, my dear readers! **

**I hope they were not OOC, and that their reactions seemed natural to you…**

**BTW, a medical fact I want you to know in case you think Bren's tiredness is too exaggerated: when you lose a huge amount of blood, the doctors will quickly replace the lost volume, meaning, you lose 2 liters, they will try to pump that back into you. But sometimes, even if they give you plasma, the body has to incorporate all those new elements into the bloodstream. Besides, there is a process called catabolism that basically makes the entire body focus on using its molecules to break down and create energy, and that can be very taxing in itself (I learned this from my sister, who's an anesthesiologist). **


	18. Chapter 17

**Hello, my dearests!**

**I didn't know if this story was still being read, but the story alerts and followers tell me somehow I've still managed to reach you, and you haven't given up on me! So, thank you, for all of you who are out there, those who take the time to read, and those who have taken an interest in this story by favoriting it, or putting it on their alerts.**

**And for those of you who reviewed, whether it was short or long, your words continue to give me the fuel I need to continue writing and pushing myself when things go dire…**

**For those of you who actually commented on my health, you are soooo kind! Really… it feels so invigorating that you care enough to ask or simply to wish me well! Things continue to be quite difficult, and the ride continues to be very bumpy, but I continue to hope and keep my faith that with God's help, I'll get through it… **

**ALL OF YOU, YOU MAKE MY DAYS!**

After Max returned from his small shopping trip, it was all about making dinner and sharing stories, _loving, fun _stories so their spirits continued running high. Max told Booth all about "Chatty Cathy", and how his 4-year old Tempe would never leave the house without it, and how Russ would try to annoy her, by hiding her precious doll or trying to scare her by jumping from behind her or behind walls and how, more than once, his daughter had stood up for herself and whacked him in the head without a second's hesitation. They had also talked about the current state of things at the office, and how the lab was coping without her, but without going too deep, so that unpleasant memories didn't enter this happy time. They all knew there would be time for reality to barge in, but they all silently agreed that they would do everything to keep it at bay for as long as they possibly could.

Booth's warm, loving smile as they ate filled her insides with a sense of completion and glee that seemed so foreign to her she even pinched herself hard on her thigh, under the table, _twice, _to check that this moment, sitting in a table, eating delicious food, with the 2 most important men in her life, was not a figment of her fevered imagination. She smiled at them, even blushing from time to time at the slightly embarrassing stories her father was telling Booth, and laughing as Booth shared his own happy stories from his childhood, knowing that as he grew up, those grew increasingly scarce. She felt honored, because she knew they were so rare and precious to him, that sharing those with them made her feel precious and important, appreciating the effort he was making to build a real relationship with her, and with her father.

"I know it's not rational, but I can picture Bones doing that ", he said, as Max had told him about the time she had refused to eat until Russ apologized for taking her beloved pet frog and dissected it with his friends, "_just to be gross". "_I imagine her, all proud and haughty, like a princess unwilling to bow down to anyone, waiting in her tower until Russ came to say he was sorry. God knows she's made me apologize to her more than once, and given me a hard time about", his voice was soft and tender, and she smiled at the word chosen, knowing it was her own feminine response to it.

"Einstein was my pet frog, and Russ shouldn't have taken it", she said haughtily, and Booth couldn't resist bending over and kissing her cheek, both mindful and respectful of Max's presence before them, who was beaming at the open affection between his daughter and his former pursuer, "Besides, the times you've had to apologize to me for something have been earned".

"Christine was so mad at Russ she made him do all his chores and Tempe's for two weeks straight when Tempe spent the whole night crying. She even made him take iced lemonade to Tempe's room all afternoons. After 3 days, he was truly repentant for what he had done. None of us could stand the sight of Tempe's tears", Max said, and instantly regretted it, fearing the comment had put a damper on the otherwise happy mood surrounding their meal, but Bones, who smiled indulgently at her father.

"It is sexist to think that I was crying because I wanted to manipulate you", she said softly, "I was truly sad, I missed Einstein, and though rationally I knew it wasn't possible, I wanted him back.", Max smiled, and Booth shook his head at her way of explaining her behavior, and replied, "Come on, Bones. When you get to experience it, you will get to understand why it is so hard for a parent to see his child suffer, for any reason, even if it's silly", he explained softly, trying to help Max and make her see how loved she was, "It's like this feeling inside your gut, painful and it makes you want to run and do anything you can so those tears stop. Besides, it doesn't help when it's a little girl crying, a sight we men are definitely unable to deal with, and much less when it's such a beautiful little girl like you were doing the crying", she smiled shyly at Booth, her heart jumping at his compliment.

"And it was even worse when she made us organize a funeral for Einstein in our backyard", she blushed further and hid her head against her chest, feeling her cheeks get impossibly hot at the memory. "She insisted we all had to wear black, and she even decorated a little tinder box with flowers and all", Max said tenderly, a look of fatherly love firmly etched on his face, "I dug the hole, not too deep of course, and she put on daisies and even a little tombstone for him", Booth was so touched at the irrational, but loving gesture, wishing he would get the chance to get glimpses of the girl she had once been.

"Wow, Bones. I knew that under your kung-fu moves and squint talk, lived a big, loving softie", he said, and their eyes met. "I can imagine you like that. So beautiful", her blush deepened at the unmistakable praise and tone of awe, but she couldn't stop holding his stare, it was luring her in with its power, as always.

"How do you even know I was beautiful?", she asked earnestly, and he chuckled, "Because you had to be. Even if sometimes you felt like the ugly duckling, any men with two eyes would have seen you were about to become a beautiful, perfect swan", she smiled softly at Booth, her cheeks still flaming pink. Max felt his heart ease, knowing his baby girl would never be alone again, "And Andy Flueger had to have very bad eyesight not to see the beauty you would become. I'm sure that he's now married, with 5 kids, with a big fat beer belly, with one of those torn t-shirts, vegging out in his couch in front of the TV, watching old sports replays and cursing himself every time your face comes up on the news for not seeing the person you would be, how beautiful, smart and successful you are", Max laughed, raising his beer bottle in silent toast to Booth, who replied in kind, knowing that any men who hadn't stuck around for her long enough to uncover what hidden secrets lived within her soul had definitely missed out on something extraordinary.

"Booth!", she gently admonished, though her laugh betrayed her intention, "you have no evidence of that, and for your information, he did have very good eyesight. I told you he was the captain of the lacrosse team", she said softly, and Booth reached for her hand, shaking his head. "Just stupid, then. Not blind", she shook her head, but the smile never left her lips during the rest of their shared meal.

When they were done with their meal, and after Max and Booth had drank another beer bottle each, as expected, the two alpha males didn't allow her to help with the dishes, and she had settled for watching the ease with which they worked together, sitting in a chair by the kitchen island. It was remarkably soothing to see them together, so calm around each other, when once before their main goal was the chase and the hunt. But she could now understand that she was the bond that kept them together, that their shared love for her made them stand united, to protect her, and that made the flutter in her insides grow, like the beautiful caress of a butterfly, and she was humbled by the turnaround her life had taken in the past few days: from feeling completely hopeless and alone, with what she thought were a few unfounded expectations, to being overcome with the love these two men showed her so openly, so completely.

Booth placed another glass of her green iced tea in front of her, making her smile at him as he hadn't forgotten she favored a second glass right after having dinner. The three of them made their way to the terrace, where she and Booth sat on the couch, his arm comfortably placed around her shoulders, letting her feel the warmth of his body to fight the slight chill of the sea breeze, Max in front of them on "her" recliner, making small talk with them until he groaned, and rubbed his back with both hands.

"I guess I'm going to bed", he said, standing up and cracking his waist, making them smile, "I'm not a young buck anymore, and I don't want Tempe here chiding me for not taking care of myself", he shook his head and chuckled, and she smiled indulgently.

"I just want you to take care of yourself, Dad", she said, and he bowed his head, and kissed her forehead.

"I know, honey. I know. Sleep tight", knowing he couldn't put off the subject anymore, added, "Booth, the room next to Tempe's, on the opposite side of mine, is prepared for you. I am not going to embarrass you by assuming you will not take it, but it's ready anyway. I leave that decision to you both, and don't be shy on my account. It's not like we're blushing virgins around here", Max said, and contrary to what she might have thought, Booth chuckled, as indeed, it was she who blushed softly at the implication, and grateful that he had eased the way for whatever they decided, and seemed accepting.

"Thank you, Max", he said, and with a nod, Max left them on their own.

They stayed in comfortable silence there for a few moments, until he spoke. "Your dad made a good point", their eyes met, and he added, "I'm not going to assume we're ready to get there yet", he said pointedly, "We just got together, and as I told you, I'm not going to rush you through this".

She raised her hand, and caressed his jaw, enjoying the feel of his coarse stubble, "You're right. I don't want to rush this either, but… I don't want to be away from you. Booth, I…", she didn't know how to voice her request, or if it was even fair to put him in that situation, remembering how almost 2 years ago she had asked something she knew was almost impossible to accomplish when she asked him to continue being subjected to the pain of being his partner AND friend when she had just rejected him.

"What is it, Bones? You can tell me anything", his tender voice and the smile that made his eyes sparkle gave her the courage to tell him what was on her mind.

"I've missed you, so very much, Booth", and she was certain he could hear the raw longing in her voice, "And I… I know it's not fair of me to ask, but… I would love if we could sleep together", at his raised, questioning eyebrow she pointedly said, "_Sleep, _Booth. Just sleep. It's just… that I would love to spend the night in your arms, you make me feel… safe", his eyes had softened at her request, and he bowed his head, pecking her lips softly, enjoying her softness and taste for a few moments until he broke the connection, and pressed his forehead against hers.

"Bones, nothing would feel better than to sleep with you in my arms. I'm not going to say it won't be painful", she smiled bashfully at the blatant implication, "But I can't think of something better than to see your face first thing in the morning and feel your body next to mine", they shared another tender kiss, and stood up together, turned off the lights, closed up and went up the stairs, one of his hands around her waist and the other clutching his travel bag that he had left by the living room couch earlier.

While she did her nightly routine, he went to retrieve a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, not wanting to assume that sleeping in his usual sleeping attire of boxers and his own naked skin would be suitable for the situation. He was sitting by the edge of the bed, enjoying the peace of the crashing waves on their shore, but his heartbeat quickly accelerated at the sight of her as she exited the bathroom. She looked soft and ethereal, clad in a form-fitting but modest green cotton tank top that hinted tastefully at her cleavage and matching blue shorts that reached mid-thigh, delighting him with the view of miles of perfect, milky soft skin and long, toned legs. He imagined a teenage Temperance, dressing like that for the summer, and he smiled softly at the picture in his mind's eye, wishing he could have met her back then.

"You can use the bathroom now", she said, and he nodded, unable to resist pressing a kiss against her forehead as he passed by her side and entered the bathroom to get ready for the night. When he reentered the room, the only light there was came from the lamplight by her bedside, its dimmed hue giving the room a soft glow and he could now see she had opened the wide French doors that led to the balcony outside, letting in the sea breeze, making the air slightly humid, but feeling delicious on his skin, the room already starting to fill with the salty scent of the ocean, but above all, he could smell her, and his body was reacting, craving to get to the source of that heavenly perfume.

He could see she was waiting for him, and she had taken the white bedspread and placed it on the small couch next to the bed, only leaving a light sheet for them to cover their bodies with.

"I don't know if this is ok, but I… I just love the smell of the night sea breeze, it's not as humid as during the day, and the slight chill is enough to keep a pleasant temperature in the room, making the fan or A/C unnecessary. But I can turn either one on if you don't like it this way…", she looked so vulnerable, sitting on the bed, he just smiled at her, and shook his head.

"It's perfect. I love it as well, and it's eco-friendly", she smiled shyly.

"Booth?", at his raised eyebrow, she added, "You might get hot in that t-shirt. You can take it off if you want", she blushed prettily, and he chuckled.

"Admit it, Bones", he said, pausing while he followed her instruction instantly, inwardly enjoying her startled gasp at the sight of his naked torso, "you just want to see me without my shirt on, you want to ogle my perfect acromion", she gave an indignant huff, but the sparkle in her eyes told him that indeed, she was enjoying the view, even if she had made a reasonable point: the temperature was pleasing, but he could get hot. _Very hot, _he thought. _Clean thoughts. Chaste thoughts, Seeley. You don't want Father Mike calling you a pervert, again_.

"I'm just being practical", she said, but smiling coyly, added, "However, I can't help but enjoy the side benefits as well", he laughed softly, and joined her. He laid on his back while she turned off the lamp, and instinctively, her body gravitated towards his, his own responding until they were blended, two parts of a whole, his hand moving to touch her back through the fabric of her pj's, enjoying how soft and pliant she felt, while her hand moved to rest on his stomach, where his free hand grasped it, their fingers entwining, her head pillowed on his broad chest.

He inhaled deeply against her hair, and smiled, "You smell so good, so amazing", he said, and she smiled, hiding her head against his pectoral muscle, getting her own share of his manly, musky, clean scent. "And while I could be scientific and explain all the reasons why I smell good to you", she responded softly, "You smell so good to me too", she pressed her lips briefly against his shoulder, trying to stop herself from jumping him, as that combination of aftershave, deodorant, musk and simply… _male _blended to hit her nostrils with the enticing aroma that was her Booth. Her body was screaming at her, and she knew his was too, to give up the pretense of not wanting each other and simply take action, but her heart and brain were in accord for the first time, knowing they needed to settle into this new reality before they took the plunge into those deep, unknown waters. The threads holding this new reality together were still newborn, and strengthening them would take time.

They calmed, her head still resting on his chest, his hand still tracing her back, and after a while passed, their breaths started evening out, echoing the other perfectly; it was them when she dared voice what she was thinking.

"Booth?", she said, and he responded with a soft, "Yes, Bones?"

"I knew you wouldn't give up", her voice sounded hoarse, and it was filled with emotion, his own husky and loving as he replied, "I knew you wouldn't give up. And I'm so glad, my beautiful, sweet Bones, that you never stopped believing in me". They remembered a night in a church, so long ago, when the adrenalin of having just escaped dead still coursed through their bloodstream, and the longing was there, but they were still too afraid to risk their hearts to each other.

"I might not believe in the same things you do, but the one thing I believe in is you, Booth. And I know you'll always be there to catch me, you never let me fall", their eyes met in the darkness, and he couldn't not kiss her, simply because he now had the right to kiss her whenever, wherever he desired.

"Perhaps I did once, but not anymore. I will always be there", he vowed, and she smiled before retaking her previous position against his body. When her breath was finally even, signaling deep sleep, he said, "I love you, Bones. More than my life, more than anything", and only then did he dare fall victim to the sweet oblivion of sleep, knowing she was safe in her knight's fierce, loving embrace.

B&B&B&B&B&B&B&B&B

A month had passed since the horrible events of that day at the Jeffersonian. She still couldn't believe how her life had changed from being perfect and filled with love one day, to being thrown aside and alone the next.

She knew he was right in being angry, but honestly, looking back at her actions, she could only say her response was instinctual. She was so used on watching out for herself, on caring for herself, the instinct of ducking for cover had come naturally to her, though she knew she must have fought harder to protect his little boy.

She both hated and cursed the reflexes that made Temperance react so promptly to the threat that woman had presented. She had never imagined she would complete her threat to shoot Parker or her, and she was so terrified her only thought was to save herself. She was grateful though, as she loved Seeley, and knew losing his only son would have destroyed him, and she had come to care for the little boy in the brief period of time she had come to know him.

However, what she had never anticipated was Seeley's reaction. She knew he would be angry, and even more when she realized he had seen almost the whole thing unfold from far as he entered the lab, or at least, the part that mattered: the part where she, who had been holding Parker's hand, had let go of him while his best friend and partner ran across the room to save him, injuring herself in the process, almost to the point of death.

She had never seen that dark fury in the otherwise gentle eyes before, and while she had waited in his apartment until he came back from the hospital, she had still counted on and hoped for his forgiveness. What she had never expected was that unleashed anger and his confession of how he couldn't trust her anymore, how she was the reason he had turned down the woman who was now on the brink of dying for saving his son. She knew all his words had a solid foundation, but she had never considered the seriousness of her actions until he pointed them out. Of course, it was only after she had researched the woman in question that she understood the weight of her actions: she had truly been out for blood, Parker's more exactly, and there was no doubt in her mind that she would have killed not only him, but the three of them if Seeley hadn't got there in time after Temperance had deflected her first attempt to do harm, and the idea made her blood run cold.

She was used to ending her relationships, using her nomadic lifestyle as an excuse to avoid seriousness and long-term commitment, but this man had come to mean more to her than anyone before him, and the feeling of being rejected so harshly hadn't sat well with her. She had never seen herself as the marrying kind, not really, but she had tried to put that out of her mind because she knew he was looking for something more, and she was selfish enough not to want to give him up, even if after she had moved in with him, as Temperance had said it, "he would give himself to her completely and it would be very painful for him if she wasn't as serious about the relationship as he was". Of course, she had tried to reassure her, knowing how heavily Brennan's words weighed on his mind, being his best friend and partner, but to be honest, she had never truly grasped the severity of her warning until the worst happened.

Rationally, she knew she had no reason to feel this way, but the woman in her was offended, humiliated, hurt and rejected. She had even tried sleeping with one of her colleagues, but the thought of him had definitely tainted, though not stopped, her from trying to get back to who she was before she met him, and at the end of the night, she had found herself comparing the naked man sleeping peacefully sated on her hotel bedroom to the one who had offered her a real home for the first time in years, and found him seriously lacking. She had never measured how deeply he could come to affect her, and unfortunately, she had realized it too late to do anything in her favor.

Instead of coming to a warm home, delicious food, fantastic sex and love, she now got to an empty hotel room or the hotel bar, nursing enough drinks to help her fall asleep, hoping tonight she wouldn't dream of him, knowing probably, it would fail. She signaled for the bartender to refill her scotch, and when she opened her purse to pay her tab, he said, "It's already paid for", she raised a questioning eyebrow, as she had forgotten what it was like to be picked up in bar. She thought that maybe that was because she had spent the last years chasing leads or in dangerous war zones, not giving her enough time to socialize or pick up random guys in bars. And in those places, there was only the hidden romp in the darkness, hoping the squeak of a flimsy mattress as flesh pounded against flesh wasn't heard by anyone, the smell of gunpowder and sound of gunfire lacing the air around her, enveloping her. It was funny how things with Seeley had started out like that, but then had come to mean much more.

But now she was in a somewhat fancy bar, and a man was interested, and she desperately needed to feel wanted, and worthy of being noticed, even if it was for a short while. The bartender, reading her questioning expression, pointed to the end of the bar, and pointed to a tall man sitting at the end of the table. She breathed deeply, and knowing full well what her actions might mean, she raised her glass at the man, and smiled gently. She knew she was somewhat giving him an open invitation go approach her, and she didn't care. She was tired of feeling lonely, and perhaps this man might help, even if it turned out to be nothing, he could take her mind off things for a while, or she hoped he could.

She assessed him while he approached: he was tall, taller than Seeley, and he was bulkier, but never with muscles as sculpted as Seeley's, who bordered on slim, but had spectacular muscle definition. He was older, perhaps mid 40's, and he had a close haircut that hinted at graying hair. He wasn't exactly handsome, but he was still very attractive, and exuded an energy she couldn't ignore.

"I'm sorry if I was too bold, but I can't understand what a beautiful woman such as yourself is doing in a hotel bar, sitting on a barstool on her own. A woman like you should never have to be alone", she raised an eyebrow, but smiled as he seemed genuine, "Can I sit with you, or are you expecting anyone?", he asked, and she shook her head.

"No, I'm not expecting anyone, and yes, you can sit so I can thank you for my drink", he sat next to her, and asked the bartender for a new refill on his drink, while she assessed him more closely. He was dressed in black, with a cotton turtleneck and black pants, his nails closely trimmed, and she sighed. It seemed like it was her destiny to run into this type of man.

"Military?", she asked, unable to help herself, and he shook his head.

"I once was, but that was a lifetime ago. I make my own way now. I was never one to follow rules", he said, and she smiled at the comment and at his own smile, ignoring a pang of something strange in her solar plexus as she stared into those black depths. While also dark, Seeley's eyes were always kind and warm, like open windows into his soul, lively with emotions, but this man's eyes seemed almost lifeless and eerily cold. She shook her head, berating herself for assuming those things about him, knowing her judgment was skewed due to her emotional state, thus ignoring the little warning sign inside her head that told her to run away as fast as she could.

"At the risk of sounding cliché, I couldn't help but wonder why you seemed so sad, while I was sitting over there. I don't mean to intrude, really", he said, and she sipped her scotch before speaking.

"I… I just got out of a relationship, and… it was very hard for me", she explained, "I cared very much for him, but… things happened, and we called it quits", she said.

"We or he?", he asked bluntly, and seeing her shock, he quickly added, "Sorry, it's just… I'm somewhat good at reading people, and your face tells me it wasn't mutual", her face dropped, and the man added, "I don't mean to pry, but something told me you needed someone to listen, even if it's just a stranger you just met. At least, I won't judge, and something tells me you need that", she raised her eyes to his, and smiled weakly. He was right, she was desperate to vent with anyone who was willing to listen, someone who somewhat could understand what she was going through.

She tried to explain how she and Seeley had come to meet, trying to keep out as many details as possible, not knowing why she was still respecting his tendency to be private, and making sense at the same time, when she reached the current state of things, "When that someone tried to hurt his son, I… don't know why, I just… reacted. I let go of his hand, and ran for cover. And his… best friend, his work partner, stepped in, and got pretty hurt saving him", he nodded in understanding, and seemingly compassion, and she had to accept perhaps it was his way of handling himself which had made her blurt out all things to someone she had just met. Besides, she had checked his hand earlier, and realized there wasn't a ring, or the shadow of a ring on his finger, which told her he wasn't trying to pick her up by telling her lies.

"Wow", he said, sipping on his drink, "That must have been awful for you. Did he actually blame you for reacting the way you did?", at her nod, he shook his head, "Personally, and though I don't know him or you, I think he shouldn't have. Our reactions are instinctual, we do not plan them out. They just happen, and we can't be held responsible for how our body behaves in the face of danger", her eyes widened, and she couldn't help but blurt out, "I can't believe you get it and he doesn't! I mean, I know he expected me to care for his boy, and I always did, doing everything to make him like me, so our relationship could continue. But one mistake, one, and it's like… it's not like I wanted that woman to hurt him, like I just didn't care, but I have spent so many years protecting myself from danger, my response came so naturally…", the man startled her as he placed his hand on hers, and the understanding in his eyes instantly calmed her, though his voice was a bit clinical as he replied.

"When you've been to war, your body is honed to respond to danger in ways you can't understand or even predict. You're a woman, and in those situations, stereotypes make it harder out there. You have to double the effort so you earn the respect of the men surrounding you. While it was definitely not the best outcome, you couldn't anticipate that the adrenalin in your body would make you run for cover, or that the other woman would step in front of the bullet. In fact, you never see the bullet that takes you down, you just… react. You were caught in the crossfire, and unfortunately, your relationship suffered the collateral damage", she nodded, grateful that this stranger seemed to understand what no one else would.

"I don't know why I told you all this, it's not me to share my whole life with a complete stranger, but…", he interrupted her, "We were both at the right moment, at the same place. And I've come to appreciate the kindness of a stranger. They can change your life, and perhaps I could give you an unbiased judgment of your situation", she smiled at him, relieved that he didn't seem to want to take advantage of her obvious vulnerability, "You can see now that indeed, I was not trying to pick you up. I thought we could share our mutual loneliness while we're both here. I know what it feels like to lose things that matter to you for reasons beyond your control. I looked at you, sitting there, on your own, and I wanted to do for you what I wish someone would do for me were I in your shoes. Simply let me speak, without passing judgment", she nodded, relieved that this awkward moment was just that, someone friendly doing something kind for someone else.

"I have to go, some business to run and an early start", he said, putting an end to their conversation, and finished his drink in one gulp, smiling at her one more time, now standing beside her. "Are you staying here or are you just passing by the city? Perhaps we might run into each other once more", he asked, and deciding it was safe enough, she replied.

"I'm staying here until I decide where to go from here", he nodded.

"I'm staying here as well. And if you would like, I hope that we can chat again sometime then. Sleep tight", he turned on his heels, and just then she realized she hadn't asked a very important question, or been asked the same question back.

"I'm sorry, I didn't get your name. It would be rude of me to call you "sir", when you've just spent practically an hour listening to me rant and vent", she hoped her smile would do the trick, and luckily it did.

He chuckled, and she didn't understand why a small shiver made its way down her spine as he approached her once more and shook her hand politely, and replied in a deep, graveled voice.

"Broadsky. Jake Broadsky. Pleased to meet you".

**WARNINGS: PLEASE, PLEASE READ BEFORE YOU LEAVE!**

**I know, I know! Bad, bad bebe! LOL**

**I hate asking for reviews, and I would never blackmail you (which I respect when other fanfic writers do) with reviews for chappies, but it's the only way to know I'm reaching you, and what you think of the content and direction I take… I always take those words into consideration… so please, tell me how I'm doing! Pretty please?**

**While this is AU from 6x09 and forward, I couldn't make myself depart so far from canon, and I thought that Broadsky was a brutal villain, so different from the crazy-abusive Epps or the greedy-calculating Taffet, or the technopsycho Pelant of S7... So… what's Broadsky up to here? You'll have to read more to find out… hihihi… **

**Really, while many stories are based on the premise that they need a villain to unfold, I'm not one for irrational angst. Well-managed, rational, purposeful angst, yes. I thought the Broadsky storyline did serve a purpose, and that was giving us a hint into a part of Booth's life that he hates: his past as a sniper, and trying to make him reconcile with it, and seeing how he came to be so good at that, and those involved in that part of his life. I will stick to canon as much as possible, but as he came into this story in a different way, I'll try and adapt in a way that makes sense and still remains truthful to the show, and its spirit.**

**My promise to you, my dear readers, is that they will fight, tooth and nail, to be AND remain together, no matter the obstacles. I REPEAT, ONCE MORE, IN MY WORLD, B&B HAVE TO END UP TOGETHER, so be hopeful, and always trust that… (otherwise, I would have labeled this as tragedy! Because them not together is that, a tragedy! LOL)**

**Myriam**


	19. Chapter 18

**HELLO, YOU GUYS!**

**Finally, I'm back. FIRST THINGS FIRST, THANK YOU, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, for the support you have given me, for those who have taken the time to send me a word of encouragement, letting me know this story hasn't been forgotten; those who have also send me their best wishes and positive energy, you are a ray of sunshine on cloudy days. As I have told you before, I refuse to give you something that is not top-quality. **

**It has been hard, as this disease is very energy-draining and consuming. Some days I have only been able to read, not being able to lift my fingers to write, but that has kept my English up to date during this long hiatus. I hope those of you who have always been there are pleased by this update.**

**So without any further delay, here we go.**

Before they knew it, 3 days had passed, days which had been filled with conversations, slow walks down the beach holding hands, but above all things, a silent companionship and teasing banter, which was a relief to both of them. Overall, it felt like the cracks that had appeared on their relationship due to their mutual mistakes were steadily but surely mending, bringing them back to the people they had once been, but with the added joy of being together as a real couple now, and hoping for a future as partners in every sense of the word. They were certainly giving it their all to reach that much desired goal, but at the same time it seemed they had reached an agreement to lay off the heavy subjects for a little while so they could enjoy this new beginning like any new couple would, even if, given their history, they were past the uncertainty and awkwardness common to those beginnings, as they had managed to get to know the other in such a deep level that many couples didn't get to meet, not even in long years shared.

They were also incredibly grateful to Max, who had wisely given them the space they needed, joining them when he knew his timely "interference" would be well received. Deep inside her heart, she had to accept that this feeling of family, of belonging was what she had been aching for ever since her family had been torn apart, and seeing the two men she loved with all her heart together and bonding, and seriously fawning over her, was more than she could have ever hoped for.

They had already discussed the subject of her return to DC and to her work at the Jeffersonian, but they hadn't reached any final conclusions yet, and while he would miss her badly, he knew that when this week was done, he would have to go back to his reality and keep waiting for her to return, if that's what she needed him to do. At least, now he had seen with his own eyes how solicitously Max was taking care of her, and the extent to which they had reconnected, and in turn, that filled him with hope. Despite her words, he thought there was a tiny part of her still harboring doubts regarding her new emotional developments, but seeing how openly she was accepting Max's attention without fussing, at least much considering her innately independent streak, he knew she would really try and fight for them. For him, the waiting, if that's what was in store for them, would be a hopeful one, not the uncertain and hopeless one of the past weeks when he didn't know what her heart was keeping in store for them all.

However, he had learned, the hard way, that life didn't stop even if you were in the middle of the most important vacation of your life, the one that could define your future, because on Tuesday, he received a phone call from Hacker, who was going against his own directive to let him rest, hinting at the seriousness of the situation.

He had woken up unreasonably early, and as much as he tried, even if her enticing body was beckoning him to stay right where he was, he knew he was restless, and had much pent up energy to burn for him to be able to go back to sleep, so he had left her on the bed, sleeping peacefully, adjusting the covers and pillows around her so she didn't miss his presence, for an early morning run. The sun was just starting to peek over the horizon, and he realized he most certainly needed the workout, as his body was so wired he hurt, and cold showers weren't enough to appease the hunger and desire sleeping next to her was awakening in both his body and his mind. He had already guessed the torture he would be submitted to, but the longing and vulnerability he had heard in her voice when she asked him to share her room had made him cave on what would have normally been a definite refusal, even if her pliant, soft, deliciously-curvy body was making him ache to a degree he never thought he could reach, not even when he was denying his feelings for her or waiting for a chance to be together all those years ago, and testing his self-control to limits he didn't even know he was capable of achieving.

The worst part was, he thought as he let the delicious burn of exercise infuse his every muscle, that they always managed to wake up tangled in each other, her head on his chest, his hands around her, or her back to his front, her mile-long, silky legs brushing his, making his morning erection feel all the more painful, and yet he couldn't make himself regret his choice to share her bed, because even if his body was screaming at him to take what he knew was finally his, his heart was too joyful for having been given his blessing to let it go to waste with his impulsiveness, and guessing from what this was hinting at, he knew that when their time came, their joining would be nothing short of spectacular and soul-shattering.

As he had predicted, her early morning beauty never failed to leave him stunned and paralyzed. For all the times he had admired her during their years together as partners, in work, casual or fancy clothes, seeing her only in her pj's, her face completely bare of makeup, her hair cutely tousled from sleep was the picture he definitely loved the most: when she first opened her eyes, they were so clear and yet so deep, like a pond surrounded by morning mist, her face unguarded, her smile content and filled with love, _love for him._ It was a rare privilege he had been gifted with, and he treasured it for what it was, something he knew he would never take for granted, no matter how many years he got to spend with her, which he hoped were the rest of his natural life.

Despite their agreement to wait to breach that final line that would transition them from partners to friends to boyfriend and girlfriend to lovers, that didn't mean they didn't make out for what seemed like hours, making things all the more difficult for him and his resolve to stay strong and not rush things. She hadn't realized how far his control regarding her actually went, because otherwise she would be on her back and with his hips pistoning wildly inside her warm heat, claiming her, marking her, making her irrevocably his. He had also noticed that despite her usual bluntness and self-assurance, deep within her lived the insecure 15-year old who just didn't know how truly beautiful and perfect she was, and that touched him even more deeply.

He had taken his cell phone with him, not wanting her to worry if she woke before he returned and didn't find him next to her, so when it rang, it didn't surprise him that it did. His surprise came from the fact that it wasn't her calling him at 10 to 6 in the morning, and he had learned that any call at that hour could only mean bad news. However, it wasn't Rebecca or any of his friends, his ID caller telling him it was actually his boss, and even if the guy had actually told him to forget about work and enjoy his rest and take care of their favorite scientist, the fact that the man himself was calling him at this hour of the morning was enough to make him realize it was an important issue, so he stopped his fast-paced running, and picked up the call.

"Booth", he answered in his usual away, although breathlessly, "Hey boss", and he heard his boss' deep, gravelly voice.

"Hello. Booth. Am I interrupting anything?", Booth almost chuckled as he realized Hacker was assuming he had interrupted some early loving time between him and Bones.

"Just my morning run. What is it, boss? I know you wouldn't call me at this hour if it wasn't important. So shoot", Booth actually enjoyed that after they had stopped their cock-fighting over Bones, they were back to their comfortable, jovial relationship.

"Booth. I'm sorry to call you, at this hour, and even more when I was the one who told you to take these days and forget about us, but in these cases, you're the one I definitely need to call", Hacker said, and while the praise made Booth smile, he could hear the concern in his voice.

"It's ok, boss. I understand. That's why I never turned off my cell phone, so you could reach me, in case anything happened. So tell me", Booth asked.

"A body was found this morning by someone passing by during their early morning run, about 1 hour ago. It's partially defleshed, so I called Dr. Saroyan for the initial examination of the crime scene – the man was found on a park near Woodland actually", Booth couldn't believe that he had to go back to that neighborhood again, not when the Lauren Eames debacle was still so fresh in their minds. "I don't know much, as Dr. Saroyan, Dr. Hodgins, and Mr. Clark Edison are still there, conducting the first in-situ examination. I called them about 20 minutes ago to check on things, but she told me she needed another hour, since they know Dr. Brennan is so picky about her remains", Booth sighed, knowing that was true. If Bones returned to work and their case got complicated because the initial evidence was processed incorrectly, she would make everyone's lives extremely difficult.

"Booth, I know that Temperance is on an indefinite leave of absence, due to her recovery. But you're there with her, and I'm aware your words can swing her decision to return a bit earlier to help us", Booth rubbed his jaw pensively. He didn't want to pressure her into returning, but if Hacker himself thought they needed her on board, he had to give it some thought, because even if the guy was a bit pompous and maybe a bit goofy at times, he was business smart, and he wouldn't ask for something like that from him if it wasn't important.

"Boss, I can't promise you she will return with me, even if I ask. It all depends on how she's feeling. I guess the best thing for us to do is to let Cam and the rest of the squints examine the body closely, and depending on what they find when they bring the body to the lab, you tell me if I do have to return, and most important, if you truly need Bones on board, ok? Is that enough compromise for you?", Booth asked, and he heard a resigned sigh over the line.

"It's enough for me for now. And you're right. Perhaps this was straightforward, and we won't have to deal with any of those usual murder debacles you like so much. I'll put Ginny Shaw on the case. You know her. She's a bit green yet, but she can help your squints while you return. I'll make sure she texts you with any new information, and I'll call depending on what they find".

"Thanks, Boss, I appreciate it", Booth said, and Hacker replied, "Enjoy your vacation. And tell Temperance I wish her a speedy recovery", there wasn't any intention or subtext as Booth could hear in his voice, and was relieved, as he wasn't about to indulge in a fight with his boss, like peacocks fighting for the female's attention.

With those thoughts in mind, he started to run back to the house, knowing he had been away for a long while, and pushed himself to the limit, feeling his heart pound against his chest heavily.

When he reached their shore, his heart skipped about because she was there, like a vision, in the satin nightgown she had put on last night, smiling softly at him, clearly waiting for his return.

He reached her with a smile on his face, and stopped in front of her.

"Hey", he panted, "What are you doing up? It's awfully early", the sun was peeking from the horizon, giving the sky that golden, pinkish glow of the new day.

"I missed you. The bed wasn't the same without you in it, and I should be the one asking why you woke so early. Are you ok?", she said, standing before him, and he retreated.

"Don't come any closer", he warned, and her confused look made him smile gently, "I'm all sweaty, I desperately need a shower", he gasped as she ignored him, and touched his chest over his t-shirt, which was soaked with perspiration, and saucily replied, "What if I like you all sweaty? Huh?", she taunted, and he couldn't help himself. He groaned, and wrapped his arms around her, making her giggle as he hid his cheek against her neck, rubbing himself all over her, making her nightgown damp.

"Who am I then to deny you, milady?", he said, kissing her skin, the teasing giving way to tenderness, her hands tracing his damp skin with infinite gentleness, caressing his sweaty hair, giving herself completely over his touch, a wild current of passion flowing underneath the surface. She didn't ask why he had gone running, because she was feeling the same way, only she couldn't solve the issue as he did. She knew about male anatomy too much not to have noticed the evidence of his desire every morning against her backside, and how he gallantly and silently had simply turned to the shower, and let his frustration literally go down the drain. She was flattered he was so affected by their physical connection, but it was her heart which felt like it was about to overflow, as his patience and love bathed her like spring rain falling on parched ground. She was thankful he hadn't pressed for more than heavy petting and long, passionate make-out sessions, because while she desired him greatly, she wanted to do things the right way, and not rush things like she used to, and she knew he was feeling the same way.

Despite her soothing caresses on his body, she noticed the remaining tension on his shoulders, and having learned how to read him, she asked, "What is it, Booth? Even I can see you have something on your mind", he sighed but relented and nodded against her skin.

He was still panting slightly, and he smiled, and silently taking her hand, he led her up the small staircase and to the chaise lounges on the terrace, and sat next to her.

"Hacker called", her face fell as she knew that could only mean he had to leave, and sensing her pain, he reached for her hand, and squeezed it gently, "There's a case. Cam and the squints are on it, and he placed a Special Agent, she's kind of green from the Academy but very proficient, to help them out if needed. He wanted to ask if I could return earlier if they hit a roadblock in the investigation which Shaw can't solve", she nodded. "We compromised. Depending on how things develop, he will call me", she felt relieved as he didn't actually have to leave right away, and they could still enjoy their time together.

"Bones, you know I would never pressure you into returning I you're not ready, but he also wanted to know if you could help as well, depending on how the case goes", seeing her torn expression, he got on his haunches before her, his forearms placed outside her thighs, and smiled gently, "Bones, you're the best, and if I'm the best is because of you, so he wants us both, depending on how things go. I told him I would ask, but that the decision is up to you. I'm not going to pressure you, ok? You'll go back when you feel like it, and only when you're ready", his smile was so open and loving she bent and kissed him softly, a simply caress of their lips, like butterfly's wings caressing the skin.

She sighed, and nodded, "I can't ask for more. I have to return eventually, and I think going back to work would help me feel more like myself, and help my recovery. I think I have already gotten what I needed and wanted from this holiday here, and having you here with me has been instrumental for that. Besides, I don't fear going back to the Jeffersonian. What happened was only Taffet's doing, and I won't let her take away the joy of doing what I love. And Andrew, despite his position, is a kind man, and I know he wouldn't have called you if he didn't think it was necessary. If they truly need us, WE will go back, together, and do what we do best", her soft smile and sparkling eyes prompted him to stand, taking her in his arms, no longer caring that he was getting her soaked with his perspiration.

"Thank you, Bones. I wasn't looking forward to working cases without you, but I don't want you to cut this trip short. You're resting, for once, and I don't want you to let go of that. Besides, you're bonding with Max", he said, and she shook her head.

"While this holiday has been everything I needed, you know me, and I can't stand idleness for too long; you're not making me do this. I had already thought it was time to return and retake my life in DC, and work to make this relationship succeed, not in this scenario, where everything is perfect, but with all the variables we deal with in our everyday life. If our help is needed, we will go back, but if it isn't, then we will stay here until Sunday, and return together", this time it was he who initiated their soft kissing, and stopped only when oxygen became a necessity.

"Thank you, baby", at her disbelieving stare, he laughed, "Hey, I wanted to try it out", he said referring to the pet name, and her half-amused, half-annoyed frown.

"Booth, even if you make it sound good, I'm not found of pet names. Besides, I'm Bones to you, and it's enough for me", she said, her posture regal and commanding, and he couldn't help but lean in and nuzzle the soft skin of her neck.

"I knew it had grown on you", he teased. "Of course, you're Bones. But you're also, my sweet, sweet baby, and believe me, I will get you to like it as well", his tone was smug, but feeling his nose gently nuzzle her, and the warm breath caress her skin, she couldn't make herself chide him further when he was being so gentle and loving.

"And now, I do have to go and take that shower before I stink", he teased and quickly stealing another kiss, he went up the stairs to their shared room to start his shower.

She chuckled, and took a look at herself. Indeed, during their embrace, a large part of his perspiration had soaked the satin of her nightgown, and instead of feeling grossed out by the realization, she felt her belly flutter with that familiar feeling of desire. Anthropologically, she knew it was the impact of his pheromones hitting her full blast, prompting her to mate with a superior male, because he was indeed a real alpha male, but the heart she was learning to listen told her it was because she could already imagine how it would feel when her body was bathed in his sweat when they finally made love, and her cheeks tinted pink, her body familiar with the fantasy, and her insides fluttering with need.

She moved to the kitchen, deciding to treat them all to breakfast, and enjoying his musky smell on her skin while she worked on making them a tasty omelet and orange juice, taking advantage of those few moments before he called to let her know she could go up to take her own shower.

When Max came downstairs still in his sweatpants and t-shirt, Booth following closely, smelling clean and delicious from his shower, she had already finished preparing them breakfast, of course with a side of fruit so they also ate something healthy. They chided her for working, but she brushed them off, saying she was feeling good enough to do some actual work, and that she felt better for taking care of them for once. They had simply smiled and thanked her, Booth leaning in to kiss her lips gently and chastely, minding Max's presence, who simply chuckled at their affectionate display and let them be.

The rest of the day passed in the same way as the following, and they realized they were growing more relaxed as it passed without any messages from Hacker, Shaw or any of their squints. They went to bed, their bodies tightly pressed against the other, sharing their warmth, like they wanted to blend into the other' skin, to somewhat assuage the need they would not be able to ignore for much longer; and they woke up in the same manner, hopelessly entangled, but sated, at least for a little while.

The three of them made breakfast together, and after sharing household chores, of course, giving her the lightest so she didn't put any strain on her body, they made their way to the beach, and shared a long walk.

When they returned, Booth instantly went to the kitchen so he could pick his cell, which he had let forgotten, and frowned when he noticed there were two missed calls, one from Shaw and the second one from Cam, with two voicemails he assumed came from them.

He pressed call, and started listening, his earlier smile giving way to a concerned frown. The first one came from Shaw: "_Agent Booth, this is Agent Ginny Shaw. Your people already defleshed the victim, after gathering all the physical evidence; initial examination found a bullet wound on his chest, which they assume nicked a rib, and severed his aorta. Dr. Hodgins found traces of copper on the bones and flesh, and he's currently investigating what that might mean. I'll call with more updates", _his heart had started beating faster, as he knew what copper could mean.

He pressed so he could hear the second one, which he realized was from Cam: _"Seeley, I know this is extremely bad timing, and believe me, I hate doing doing this, but we could truly use some pointers. Perhaps Agent Shaw already called you to let you know this, but from the initial examination and the defleshing, we found cause of death to be a bullet wound to the chest which nicked a rib and severed the victim's aorta, a man in his mid-40's. Hodgins found traces of copper on the bones and on some samples of flesh around the wound, but we don't know what to make of them, as the bullet doesn't fit any ballistic criteria we know. Please, I know you're lost somewhere in paradise, but any insights would be really appreciated. Call me when you can. I hope things are going as we all expect with Dr. Brennan, and tell her we wish her a speedy recovery, and that we are missing her lots, ok? Take care of her, big guy"._

He pressed "end", and sighed deeply. His ever-reliable gut was telling him something was definitely off, and a part of him certainly didn't want to go there, knowing that what he might find would not be pretty. He didn't want to even consider the possibility: it would be too much of a coincidence that such a case would fall to his hands.

He could see Bones and Max still on the terrace, and she turned her head, and smiled softly at him, a smile he tried to reply with his own, but felt fake.

He pressed "call", and waited only two rings until Cam picked up.

"Seeley, I'm so glad you called!", he could hear the concern on her voice, despite her cheerful greeting. "Hey, Camille", they both chuckled at the teasing of their usual name-game banter.

"How are things going over there?", he was thankful for Cam, because he knew she had always had his back, and let his mind enjoy the peace as memories of the past days washed over him.

"It's been going great, Cam. Really, really great", it was like he could hear her smile over the phone.

"How's Dr. Brennan feeling?", she asked, real concern dripping from her voice.

"She's doing much better. She tires a bit easier and a bit quicker, but she's great. Being here has done wonders for her, and Max has been doing a great job of playing nurse", Cam's chuckle came over the line.

However, they knew they couldn't indulge in this moment, and he decided to get things over with.

"Cam, I heard your message, and I know you wouldn't have called me otherwise. Tell me", he asked.

"Ok", she sighed, "A man about 45-47 years old was found near Woodland, on a park. We estimated time of death at about a week. He was planted behind a bush, near a tree. A jogger found him when he went to rest during his morning run. Anyway, after samples were taken, Hodgins found traces of copper in the flesh, and in the bone, since the bullet nicked a rib. Clark and Angela have been working on trying to figure out what kind of bullet it is, but it's no use. It doesn't match anything we've seen", he could hear the restlessness in her voice.

He felt a knot forming on his stomach the more he heard, but he swallowed, and forced it down before he replied, knowing his vacation had come to an end.

"You won't, Cam. If the bullet was copper, and it doesn't match any ballistic report, it's because it was handmade", he heard her startled gasp, but continued, asking the question he dreaded, "Cam, do you have an ID on the guy?".

"Actually, we are still waiting on that. Clark stayed here until this morning, going through everything again, and gave Angela the skull with tissue markers when we first arrived. She finished about 1 hour ago, and she's been running CODIS, and the FBI, but there's no missing persons or any profile on him", she replied, and with a heavy sigh, praying he was wrong, he replied, "Tell Shaw to ask Hacker so he clears Angela for access to the military database".

"What?!", Cam asked, "Military? Seeley, why…?", he cut her off before she could rant any further, "Cam, that bullet was handmade, and only a very select few know how to make it, myself included. Trust me on this. I don't know, but I have a feeling our victim is somewhat related to the military", he knew she had already understood the words behind that statement. It had to be handmade by someone exactly like him, and for them not being able to find anything on the victim also meant that things were quite shady.

"Seeley, I have always trusted you, and your instincts, but if you're right, this could be bad. Very bad", he could practically see her frown, and her worry. "I'll call Shaw right away, and let me tell you, I hope for once, you and your gut are wrong".

"I do too, Cam. Call me when you know something. Bye", he closed his phone, and rubbed his temple, feeling a massive headache coming his way.

He jumped a bit when he felt her soft, cool hands placed over his own on his face, leading him away from the spot he was rooted to, and kneading his tense muscles, her front pressing against his back, making him close his eyes and let out a few breaths, her presence already soothing and calming his frayed nerves.

"What is it, Booth?", she asked, and he turned so he could face her, trying to smile, but knowing she had already guessed his worry.

"Shaw and Cam called, about the case. It´s... it´s getting complicated", he said, trying not to burden her with worry.

Silently, she led him to the kitchen island, so Max was out of earshot, and she asked. "Come on, Booth. We´re partners, and if I´m to be your partner in every way, we need to share these things", he sighed knowing she was right, and he began,

"The guy they found, he had a bullet wound, straight to the chest. They already found that COD was a nicked aorta from the bullet. The thing is... the bullet is copper. And _that... _is not common. It appears to be handmade, and handmade copper bullet means... military", her eyes widened, and she asked.

"But Booth, if what you're saying is true, things could get very bad. Are you certain?", she asked, and sighing deeply again, he reached for her hand, and entwining their fingers, already feeling calmer by her soft touch, he nodded.

"I do hope I'm wrong, but it's not only that the bullet is copper. The victim is not turning up anywhere, and that rubs me the wrong way. I already told Cam to call Shaw so that Hacker gives Angela temporary access to the military database. Maybe... luck will strike and nothing will turn up".

"Booth, something else is wrong. You know you can confide in me", her soft fingers caressing her, and her open, deep blue gaze was everything he needed, and he closed his eyes.

"Bones, not many know this, but copper bullets are a sniper thing", seeing her eyes widen, he knew she was beginning to understand. "Only a handful of snipers are trained to know that, and that speaks of someone highly intelligent. My only hope is that it is not one of ours..."

"Because you might know who did it", their eyes met, and he nodded.

"Oh, Booth", she stood and came to his side, her arms going around him tenderly, his own replying instantly, finding the comfort and peace he so badly needed, burying his nose in her hair, smelling her soft, feminine scent, letting it soothe his senses.

Her hand was rubbing his back rhythmically, going up and down, loosening his tense muscles. "The best we can do is wait for all the evidence to be brought up. It will do us no good to get unnecessarily worried without having all the facts", she said, and he tightened his hold on her body, knowing she was right, but unable to completely let go of his worry.

"I know, Bones, you're right, we can't get ahead of ourselves, but... I can't not worry", he said, and she kissed his temple.

"Booth, I know that is a part of your past that you can't leave behind somehow, but you are a good man, the best one I've met, and it hurts me deeply that you can't let go of the guilt you carry around", their eyes met, and she smiled softly at him, "It's time to turn a new page. You've never done anything wrong, and you have to remember that everything you did was in pursuit of the greater good. Doesn't your Bible speak of a "Lord of the armies"?", his eyes widened, and she smiled sheepishly, "I had to understand you somehow", he chuckled, and bent his head for a soft, tender kiss.

"It's amazing what you do to me. Even knowing you read the Bible so you could understand me is beyond me. Bones, whatever did I do to deserve someone like you?", he asked, and she shook her head.

"You were you, Booth. You stood by my side, you were my friend, my partner, through everything, you were... the man I loved, even before I found myself capable of giving myself to anyone, of trusting anyone deep enough to let go and let them in. You did that, Booth. SO, please, don't ever doubt yourself, because I don't", their lips met again, and time lost all meaning until the sound of a throat clearing broke them from the bubble they had wrapped themselves into. They turned their heads to see Max leaning against the door, with an indulgent smile on his face, one they had seen many times during these days whenever he found them together, and they smiled softly at him, not at all ashamed by their display of affection, and seeing the pleasure in Max's face that they were finally together.

Max had seen the whole scene from the terrace, and while his intent was never to spy on them, seeing the worry on Booth's face made him do so, concerned by everything that could threaten his daughter's happiness, but his worry eased as he saw them sweetly locked in a loving kiss. He had ached badly to see his daughter give her heart to the man he had always known she loved, and relieved because no matter their past, Max knew there wouldn't be a better man for his little girl, completely assured that only Booth matched him in the fierce protection and adoration he felt for the woman that had brought them together.

"Hey, guys. I was thinking I could make us some pasta, are you game?", the couple nodded, and Max, sensing they needed an outlet for the tension they were still carrying, decided to engage them in conversation, which seemed to flow, though slowly, until all that was left was the diluted worry of an ill-remembered and long forgotten fear.

**Don't worry. I will post another chappie right away. This is getting heavy... Hope you're liking it... And where I'm taking it... Science is not my forte, but I hope I'm doing fine, and I'm honoring our show...**


	20. Chapter 19

**And this is the second part...**

They didn't know what to make of the silence coming from both the FBI and the lab as the hours passed and a new day. Booth was tempted to pick up his phone and finally call, but a large part of him was screaming at him not to let go of these rare moments of peace he was sharing with his Bones, though he knew she was sharing his anxiety. The previous night, they had begun their ritual as usual, with a soft kiss, but they had instead turned to their sides of the bed instead of falling asleep in each other's arm. She couldn't fault him for that, because she knew he was trying not to worry her, but she could hear and feel how restless he was, knowing sleep was the last thing from his mind, as he couldn't seem to stand still. She was trying to feign sleep, but after a while, she moved her arm backwards, grabbing his wrist, and bringing it around her middle, so her back was to his front. She could sense the tension he held in his forearm, and she began stroking it softly, none of them daring to break the silence, but she could feel the tension slowly easing from his muscles. She was awed at the fact that a simple touch could unwind him so, and she felt grateful that she could do something for him, even if it was merely a soothing caress to express she was sharing in the worry and helplessness he was feeling. He tightened his hold on her, and she could feel him burying his nose in her hair, inhaling deeply, and smiled weakly. It shouldn't have surprised her, as after their talk during their first night they slept together, he no longer hid his appreciation for her scent. It also brought a dull ache to her chest, thinking of all the time they had wasted hiding behind their friendship, though she liked to think that now she was wise enough to know that perhaps they weren't ready before, that perhaps they had to go through all of the trials and tribulations life had brought them to really appreciate the blessing they had been given, a blessing she had come to appreciate even more after her coma dream. It was ironic that it took near-death situations for them to gather the courage to accept what their hearts already knew: that they were two halves of a whole, and that no other person would be able to fill their hearts with the love they felt for the other.

"I'm sorry. I'm keeping you awake, baby", she didn't even chide his for using the pet name, and she shook her head, continuing her caress on his skin.

"It's ok. I couldn't sleep either. I don't like seeing you so worried, Booth. Is there something I can do?", she asked, and he replied, "Tell me something, Bones. Anything", she could hear a hint of despair in his husky plea, a plea for her to take away his restlessness, and in the dark, with only the half-moon as their witness, blanketed by the darkness, she felt daring enough to open her soul.

"While I was in the hospital, I... I dreamt... of my mom", she said, and she could feel him pressing a soft kiss against her shoulder to encourage her. His heart had turned soft at the vulnerability he could hear in her voice, knowing how difficult it was for her to deal with her mother's absence.

"Was it nice, Bones? Seeing her?", he asked.

"It was... eye-opening. I... I have tried to rationalize it, but... I can't make sense of it all, though, if I gather the facts... I know that what I saw could possibly be. It can be a logical conclusion of the facts", she said.

"What did you see, Bones? Did she talk to you", he asked, and she inched closer to his body, if possible, trying to voice the emotions her dream had brought without being completely overwhelmed or breaking down in front of him, though she was no longer ashamed of showing him her vulnerability, but she knew that if she fell apart, she would lose the nerve she needed to share this with him.

"Yes. In my dream... I don't know how to explain it, but she told me she was sort of a guide my mind had chosen to show me what could be. She told me that my choices could affect my reality, and yours, in a way that I couldn't even imagine. She showed me... what my life would be like without you in it", he must have heard some traces of pain in her voice because his hold on her middle tightened, and his hands caressed her belly, soothing her.

"Oh, Bones", she could see the sorrow he felt for her, and she decided not to hide anything from him. "Was it... You were ok, right? Even if we weren't together, you were ok", he asked, and she knew he was blaming himself for the pain she must have felt from the slight note of despair she could sense in his voice.

"Professionally, I was ok, but I... I wasn't happy or fulfilled. You... you married Hannah, and I decided to leave. Definitely. From the Jeffersonian. Even the country. I... I couldn't stand being so close to you without... you know", he pressed soft kisses against her shoulder, as if trying to ease the pain of her memory, and his own at hearing her, letting her know he understood what she wasn't saying. "You had a son, and you asked me to be his godmother. It was so painful, Booth, and while I know it was only a dream, the emotions it elicited were so strong. We spent the rest of our lives only connected through your eldest son with Hannah, and he... he was so much like you... He had your intuitive nature, and somehow, he had guessed we... we loved each other still, but we had let our moment slip away. He even thanked me for not robbing him of his family, because according to him, only I had the power to break you and Hannah up. And...", her eyes filled with tears as she remembered the grief of standing by his bedside as he died.

"It's ok, Bones. I'm here. Nothing can hurt you anymore", he said, and she inhaled several times, and her voice came out raspy from the tears she was holding back.

"Booth, in my dream, I had to go to your dying bed. It was a tumor again, but this time they could do nothing for you, and... God, Booth, it was so awful, so..."

"Heart-crushing?", she nodded, and he turned her in his arms, seeing her moist eyes, swelling with tears, and the blue turning almost indigo, so achingly beautiful his chest felt tight.

"It's only logical, Bones. I can't imagine how painful a life without the other would be. I mean, living a life full of regret can only crush your soul", he said, and in that moment, they both remembered her tearful confession in his SUV on that rainy night. And he would always kick himself in his metaphorical ass for not treating her better that night, for not seeing past the delusion he had wanted to create to convince himself that everything was fine without her when it was clear it could never be. "I'm so sorry, Bones. That it took me almost losing you to realize living without you would only mean the biggest regret of my life. I could... I could never be truly happy without you in my life, Temperance. I... You're everything to me. Everything", she smiled, and placed her hand against his cheek, and he tilted his head so he could kiss her palm, then leaning to brush his lips softly against her, a kiss filled with healing and devotion.

"I know what you mean. Only when I realized you were building a life with Hannah was I able to accept that my feelings for you went beyond anything I tried to explain by biology or science. You... you are everything to me too, Booth. My life would have never been the same without you", he crushed her to his chest, and she hid her face against his neck, enjoying his warmth and closeness, a feeling she had never had with past lovers.

On his part, now he could understand the tears she had shed while asleep in the hospital. Those tears and that distress he had seen on her face while he thought he was losing her made total sense now and he could now truly comprehend how painful it must have been feeling trapped in a reality where all their bonds were broken, and their love hadn't been given a chance to exist before it had a real chance. And to be honest, knowing how helpless you were to the pull of the feelings those dreams evoked in you, remembering how lost he had been in the reality his own coma dream had created, his poor Bones must have suffered a great deal; at least, his own dream had been a happy one.

"But... when that part was over, my mom... she showed me what our lives could be... if we were together", she said softly, and he met her eyes, surprised at this turn of events.

"Was it good, Bones? What you saw?", she nodded at his question, but also shook her head, confusing him.

"It wasn't good, Booth. It was... perfect. We were together, and we were... a family, and no matter what, we were so happy. Everyone was happy for us, and we were all together. ", his smile was so wide even his eyes were smiling at the idea, "We had a baby boy, so beautiful, so much like you. I guess some of my reality transferred there because.. we weren't together at first. We had made love the night you picked me up at Woodland, but you were trying to salvage your relationship with Hannah, and that's why I hadn't told you. And we had a serial killer after us, he tried harming me and you several times, and... I was pregnant but you didn't know it until that man... I can't remember his name, it was foreign I think, he tried to hurt you... and I tried to save you and got hurt instead", their eyes continued to hold the other's stare, and she continued caressing his cheek, "You found out about the baby, and... we were together, finally", his smiled continued but something about the serial killer struck a chord deep inside him.

"A baby Bones?", he asked, and she shook her head, "A baby Booth", he bent his head to kiss her once again. When they stopped for air, he teased, "For a woman who claimed she didn't like children, both sides of the reality you faced were very consistent", she nodded pensively.

"Well, as I have always known, I couldn't choose a better father for my child, and I have to accept that... a part of me was too scared to admit I want the same things most people do, but I never thought... I could get them", she said weakly, and he shook his head.

"Why, Bones? Why would you think that? There is no one more deserving of happiness than you", he said desperately, and she inched closer to him, finding the comfort she need in his arms, knowing it was ok to let go of all of her fears because he wouldn't let her fall.

"I don't know. Perhaps I'm more scarred by my past than I wanted to admit, and while this might sound like psychology, perhaps the years I spent in foster care made me think I was... unloveable", she finished and lowered her gaze. He instantly placed his hand under her chin, and made her meet his warm, tender gaze.

"Bones, no one is more deserving of being loved and cherished than you, and I would feel so honored, so privileged if you chose me to make you happy", he replied, and she chuckled.

"I think it's clear that I have chosen you, Booth. Long before I could believe happiness was possible for me, it was always you", she said. She hid her face in his chest again, and lying on their sides, the world didn't seem to matter, as they were together, their souls bare to the other.

Something about her dream nagged him, though, and he had to ask.

"Bones, in your dream, who was the serial killer that was after us?"

She looked pensive for a while before a look of recognition entered her face. "Broadsky. I think his name was Jake Broadsky".

**I know, bad, very BAD BEBE! LOL! You can assume that little part as you want... I leave it to you to make of it as you wish, perhaps it was a message from above... coincidence? Who knows? Anyway, I am already halfway with my next chappie, and hopefully you'll have it next week. I hope these two chappies earn me your forgiveness, and again, thank you for your loyalty.**


End file.
